I went to the dentist today
Let me 'Splain, Lucy.
I broke a tooth. Eating frozen custard. When I called my dentist this morning, they said the earliest I could get in would be May 7.
I said ok, and hung up.
That's when things went wrong.
I had the broken tooth. I saw the Gorilla Glue and I thought....why not?
I put a little dab of glue on my finger and attempted to put the tooth back together. But I had glue on my finger, so I basically glued my pointer finger on my left hand to the lower right inside part of my jaw!
The glue dried quickly. I could my finger off! The phone rang. There was an opening now at the dentist. So I went out to the car, left hand stuck in my mouth, and attempted to drive.
I could not turn on my left signal without moving my right arm all the way across the wheel, so I opted to not use any signal, as many motorists have done recently.
I drove halfway to the dentist when a wasp came in the car and landed on my least protected, most sensitive area.
I attempted to swat it, the car veered off the road, down an embankment, onto the bike path and into a corn field. I got out of the car, which is not easy using only your right hand, and brushed the flying death machine away, got back in my car and drove directly across the corn field to the dental office.
Once there, I was immediatly ushered into a chair. The dentist examined me as best he could, then found a rubber mallet and chisel and banged three times on the tooth and my finger came free.
He then announced I was to become royalty soon. At least I think that is what he meant when he said I would be getting a crown.
Imagine. King Dickow. At last.
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Avoid inserting Gorilla Glue into your mouth.
Peace and Love
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