watch this

I  figured out which Olympic events I could compete in

    I ended a sentence with a preposition, right?  Better than a proposition.

    I ordered a coffee at Cypress House today.

    I went with the First Date drink option.  Dark chocolate caramel mocha, so you know.

    I said, "I'd like a First Date, please."

    The answer was:  "Do you have an age preference?"

    I replied, "No, and I am not in the Files."

    I thought it was funny.

    Good drink, I recommend it.

    On to the Olympics.

    They have a Half Pipe competition.  I would be able to do the Half Pie, provided it was cherry or apple.   I could  do a 180 with my fork and a double 360 overboard header with my spoon and ice cream

    The Salmon.  I would do it over charcoal with a dash of rosemary.

    Giant Salmon.  Ditto the above, only twice the size.Maybe with some fries and bread.

    Boob sledding.  No explantation needed.

    Ice prancing.  When the garbage has to go out and I have to retrieve the empty can while navigating an ice driveway.

    The Skelton.  This involves washing endless hours of Red Skelton sketches on tv.

    Curding.  Seeing how fast I can wolf down an order of cheese curds from Culver's.  There would be 3 rounds, with Tums rest periods in between runs.

    Downhill.  Comparing my body now to what it was 10, 15 and 20 years ago.

    Hokey.  Coming up with as many false Olympic Games you can in a 10 minute period.  Winner gets to advice to the half pie competition.

    So you see, I could specialize in several of my Olympic categories.

    I might even get a trophy o two.  Or three.  Or 10.

    After all they are my games.  If people don't like it, they don't have to compete.

    Thank you for your attention.

Peace and Love

Boredom

Whatever happened to cool nicknames?

    Like The Sultan of Swat, Mr. October, Three Finger, The Babe, the Galloping Ghost, or the Kansas Comet?

    I remember a basketball player nicknamed The Iceman.  

    But I don't seem to hear many nicknames in the current sports world.

    Danimal was on the Super Bowl winning Bears.  So was the Fridge, and Sweetness.  But that was 40 years ago!

    Players these days don't seem to have the ear catching nicknames. 

    I know the current Bears QB has been called the Iceman for what happened this season, but it takes more than one season to get a good nickname.

    Bob Butterbean Love...I mean that was a great nickname.  So was Hammerin Hank.

    Kenny Stabler was called The Snake.  Bobby Hull ws the Golden Jet.  

    Yes, I am dating myself.  Those both are from the 6os, but they were great nicknames.

    I have been thinking about that tonight.  Yes, I do have better things to do.

    But baseball spring training is starting and maybe there will be a guy nicknamed The Big Hurt playing somewhere, and although it has been used, it would be a welcome diversion from Bob, or Jim, or Jose.  

    I propose nicknames be given based on performance.  I guy who strikes out a lot could b King K.  A base stealer could be called The Thief.  

    I don't ask for a lot, just  good health, safe travels, and interesting nicknames.

    Oh, a couple of million dollars would be nice too.

Peace and Love

    

beep, beep

 Sometimes strange things happen to me

    The other day I went to Target while I was in DeKalb picking up yet another toilet seat.

    I pulled into a parking space next to a black pick up truck.  I put the car in park, I thought, then took my foot off the brake to turn off the van.

    But the car shot forward quickly!  (Redundant, eh?  Shot forward indicates speed.  Sorry)

    I slammed on the brake, but the car did not stop...mainly because it was not moving!

    The pick up truck left!  My car wasn't moving at all!  I was safely in park.

    It was weird.

    Then today I stopped at the bank. Got out of the van and noticed I was about 4 feet into the driving lane because I did not pull into the space far enough.  And to top it off, I was in 2 spaces.

    So  I reparked.  

    How can I not be able to park in pull in spaces?  Wha happens if I ever have to parallel park?

    Dog fence people came again today.  Nice guy, checked all the wires, everything was good, but there was a loose wire in the transmitter box, or whatever it is.  He replaced it, tightened it, and pronounced the system good.

    4 hours later, when I went into the garage, I was greeted by the very loud and obnoxious beeping again.

    It eventually stopped, but it has me concerned.

    I spent some time working on a crossword puzzle today.  Actually, I have been looking at it off and on for 3 days.  One clue had puzzled me:  like some nights.

    It started with an I ..... endless with able.  I puzzled and puzzled until my puzzler was sore.

    Today I looked at the clue again and it was:  like some rights......not nights.

    And the answer was inalienable.

    Puzzle solved.

    Now if I could only solve the puzzle of  how to sleep at night.

Peace and Love

Questions

 Do you ever ask questions that make no sense?

    I ran into someone at the Paul McCarney concert last fall.

    I looked at her and said, "What are you doing here?"

    That was not a smart question.

    I would have answered by saying, "I dropped my phone and I was hoping to find it here."  Or, "I don't know, a strange force brought me here."  

    People are always very helpful when I am looking for something.

    "Where was the last place you put it?"  If I knew that, I probably would not be looking for it.

    I am always tempted to truthfully answer the, "How are you?" I often get.

    I usually say fine.

    I should say, "I have trouble sleeping, every muscle in my body seems to hurt, I can't see as well as I'd like, my hearing is not so good, I am losing my hair,  gaining too much weight, and I can't pass a bathroom plus  I have boils the  size of baseballs on my butt.    How are you?"

    But I don't.  I say fine.  Or Ok..  People really don't want that much information.

    When I am in a store and a clerk asks, "Can I help you?" I always want to ask if they are a certified psychiatrist.    If they aren't, then they really can't help me.

    Sometimes I think I am beyond help.

    

Peace and Love

it's all over

I like offense in a football game

    This game was like watching paint dry.

    Great if you are a defense fan, but I like the long bombs, exciting runs, big plays.

    And I really did not have a favorite, although I thought Seattle would win.  And they did.

    I did have some favorite commercials.  The Ultra one where the last guy down buys beer and he goes into training and beats all the others next time they go skiing; and the NFL ones were good for the messages  they had.  And the one with all the stars, like Jennifer Anniston, George from Seinfeld, and a host of others.

    One commercial was a bit unsettling to me.  The Ring doorbell commercial where if you have a lost dog you can activate all the Ring doorbell cameras s in your area and they will help find you dog.  It just sort of creeped me out.

    Of course Budweiser with the horse and eagle was pretty good.  Bud commercials always seem to be well done.

    A lot of AI and betting commercials too.

    You can tell I am getting old when I think the half time show is too sexy.  And I had trouble understanding the words.  That's a joke...I know they were in Spanish.

    But what got me was not recognizing Lady Gaga and not realizing she was singing in English!

    Next year I am hoping the Bears are playing in the Super Bowl.

    But it will be a challenge dethroning Seattle.

    One great. thing was my mind was off politics for 4 hours or so.  Maybe tonight I will sleep better.

Peace and Love

holy crap

 I can't afford days like this

    I am almost 78.  Days are becoming more precious.  

    So what happened?

    I slept until after 10.

    Then I ate, read the paper, and went to watch the Olympics for a bit and I think I may have dozed off again.

    Of course in all that time I took care of Jackie and did a load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, made lunch, and folded my clothes that spent the night in the drier.

    The decorations that I was supposed to box up and take downstairs are still on the dining room table.  Bird feeders are still empty.

    I should be using my days, not wasting them.

    I own a couple of shares of Starbucks stock.  I have a proxy vote on the board of directors and other issues to be decided.

    I was browsing through the wealth of information and came across a section on executive compensation, mainly the pay ratio of the company CEO to average employee wage.  It is 1,794 to 1.  I interpret that to mean when an employee earns $1, the CEO pockets $1794.

    No wonder the coffee prices are. so high.

    I watched an American figure skater perform.  Ilia Malnin is amazing.  He is expected to win gold, but came up a little short in the short program.  I thought he was amazing, but I am not a judge.

    And on FB somewhere there is a reel of a skeleton ride down the Olympic course.  It is truly a thrill to watch.  In case you do't know, skeleton riders go down head first. balanced on  a small sheet of plastic or fiberglass and at a terrifying speed.  

    Growing up in Chicago, I remember going down to the hill at  Montrose Harbor, racing head  first on my Flexible Flyer.  It was nowhere near what Olympians do, but it was fun.

    The weirdest controversy is in ski jumping though.  Seems some jumpers have more fabric in the crotch area of their uniform than is allowed.  Crotch gate! Why does it matter?  It allows them to fly farther.   I think. they have to measure each jumpers crotch area to make sure the uniforms conform to regulations.

    Just hope the guys who measure have warm hands.

    Sally, that's not a handle!

Peace and Love

busy, busy, busy

 Today was quite the day

    When I went to bed last night, we had scheduled for the morning:  help, water softener salt delivery, garage door trim repair, museum meeting.

    So I got up early and took my shower before Jackie took hers.

    My meeting was at 10, and I was told I did not need to go, but I figured I am the museum board president and maybe I should go with the director for support.

    Meantime, Big Jake let me know he was sick and the garage door fix was off for today.

    No problem....garage isn't going anywhere unless I back out the golf cart, then all bets are off.

    I went to the meeting, could not get in, started home, ran into a person who had a key, joined the meeting not yet in progress and at the end of 20 minutes started for home agin..  I was basically moral support.  

    Our morning help was still. there, so she left.

    The water softener guy came.  He puts the 40 pound bags on his shoulder and just strolls downstairs.  And yes, he takes 2 at a tme.

    It took him about 15 minutes to take the 10 bags down.  It would have taken me 15 days.

    And yes, the salt is more expensive.  And yes, I did tip him.  But it was worth every penny.

    I watched some of the Olympic opening, but went to the store before the. cauldrons were lit.  That was one of the things I wanted to see.  Maybe tonight on the rerun or on You Tube. 

    We all know most competitors  won't medal at the games.  But to see the faces, young, fresh,  excited, expectant; and knowing how hard they have worked to get to the Olympics just gives me shivers. 

    Tonight we went to Julia's to eat pizza and move Christmas boxes down to her basement.  She is still careful to not lift heavy objects, so Emily, Sheri, and I offered to carry the boxes down.  Jackie and dog Beth went just to visit.

    But by the time I got there, Sheri had moved all but one of the totes downstairs!  All I had to do was help cart the tree bag down.

    The pizza was good, but the visiting was much better.

    No nap today, no coffee, not a lot of tea but I did have a Dr. Pepper, so sleep tonight will be a bit on the iffy side.

    I just hope it comes.

Peace and Love