read the what?

I am a hypocrite

     I always tell people to read the directions first.  I used to say it a lot in my classroom.  Read the directions.

     Here's why:

     Jackie is trying Nutri System in an attempt to shed a couple of pounds.  Tonight's dinner was barbecued chicken.  I read the package.  Put in microwave, stand up, heat for 30-40 seconds on high power.
     With about 8 seconds to go, there was a huge splat.  This is what I found.
     I thought it was a scene from NCIS, or some police show involving a forensics team.  Take your pick of which one to watch, by the way.
     I cleaned out the microwave....it only took about 15 minutes.  Getting the goop off the screening was the hardest part, but a wet toothbrush helped.  (By the way, if you ever spend the night and I give you a toothbrush to use, make sure it is still wrapped.)
     She had a second package.  I got it, gave it to her and said, "Ok, you read it.  30 to 40 seconds. Standing up.  High power.  I did all that."
     She looked at it and calmly said, "The first things it says it cut a one inch slit in the top to allow the steam to escape.  You did that, right?"
     No, I did not do it, thank you very much.
     Which is why it's important to read all the directions, starting with step one.
     The second time there was not a drop spilled.
     Live and learn, my friends.  Live and learn.
Peace and Love