feeling guilty

 Our play opened tonight and I feel guilty

    The group iperforming Our Town, a classic by Thornton Wilder.

    It has a huge cast, about 20 people, including me.

    But I am the odd one in the group.

    My character goes on at about the 17 minute mark of the first act.....and does not return in the play after that appearace.  So, I go home.

    There is a reason....the show runs almost 3 hours.  I am not comfortable leaving Jackie alone that long.  Yes, Julia is here to do anything Jackie needs, but sometimes the tasks that need to be done are above Julia's pay scale.

    For instance, getting supper, pills, drinks, etc are fine.  Getting mom ready for bed is 

    When I was asked to be in the show, I said I could not give 3 hours every night when I am really a caretaker.  So, the director and I made an agreement that I could leave when my part is done.

    But I feel guilty leaving!  

    Plus, my character reads from notes....so I didn't even have to memorize my lines!

    More guilt!!

    I do plan to stay for the whole show one time.  I am not sure if Jackie will go see it because it is hard for her to sit in her wheelchair for that long.  But, we shall see.

    There are people in the cast who are the opposite me....they don't come on until the third act.  But they don't have the option of coming late unless there is a work conflict.  So they sit and wait for two hours before going on stage.  More guilt!!!

    Luckily it is a guilt I can live with, unlike telling a lie, stealing a car, or eating the last cookie in the box.

    And tonight, opening night, my character got a laugh as soon as he walked on stage and I still don't know what I did that was funny.  Maybe it's just how I look.

Peace and Love.  Pray for Ukraine.