fears

I may have some problems to overcome 

    Not finishing things is one.  

    Being on time is another.

    Disorganization in all phases of my life.

    But fear is a big one.

    Some fears I have overcome.  Like a fear of needles.  I can actually get a shot or have blood drawn without passing out.

    Other fears I won't overcome, but they should not be a problem in normal life.

    Like a fear of bears.  I went on a camping trip once in an area where black bears were active.  I could not sleep and ever step I took I scanned the trees for bears.  I eventually abandoned the group and went to a public camp site rather than a deep in the woods site.  I did not have that fear years ago in Alaska, so I am not sure why I have it now.

    Alligators.  Jackie's brother Bob and his wife Anita live in Florida and see gators once in a while.  I get nervous seeing them in a zoo.  The gators, not Bob and Anita.  Just to be clear.

    Jet planes crashing into our house or losing an engine and having it hit our house.  We don't get a lot of planes flying over us, but this time of the year seems to bring an uptick.  FedEx, UPS, Amazon all fly into Rockford and sometimes they seem pretty low.  

    A Trump presidency.  Enough said.

    Burglars.  We have an alarm system because I watched some crime shows and became convinced we needed an alarm system.  I also gave up watching crime shows.I do sleep a little better.

    Tornadoes.  Still debating with myself about a home shelter in the garage.

    Being alone.  Not just for an hour or two, but a permanent loneliness.  

    Teaching again.  I could not do it.  If today's standards were applied when I was teaching I would not have lasted 2 years.  I would have gone crazy with what teachers have to put up with today.  It's insane.   Luckily, I am too old and too ornery to ever go back into a classroom.

    Success and Failure.  Both?  I think that explains why I write books but don't trey to get them published.  What if they are terrible and get bad reviews?  I would be devastated.  But what if they were successful and got rave reviews?  I would be devastated because I could have written so much more.  So, I am the only reader of what I write.  Crazy, eh?

    So much for my fears.....and psychiatrists who want to take a shot at redeeming me are welcome to try.

Peace and Love