Awwww....geez

I just don't believe the things I say and do

    It's like I am a brainless buffoon sometimes  A lot ot times.

    Yesterday, when I was at the market, I bought a pretzel and discovered my debit card was missing.  I put the pretzel down and was looking through my wallet. Here is an approximate version of a conversation I had with a guy named Willy.

    "Is that a good pretzel?"  Willy asked.

    "Yes, very good," I replied.

    "My wife is getting one now.  My semi is being repaired, so I thought I would spend the day with her."

    "Are you a truck driver?"   I asked at which point he looked at me suspicously.

    "Oh my god!  O f course you are!  Why else would you have a semi?" and we both laughed.

    Last night I asked Jackie if she thought they would have school Friday because of the storm.  She looked at me and said they don't have school Friday.  I said, "Are you sure?  I thought they went until Wednesday."

    "You know,  Christmas is Sunday. You knew that, right?"  She, too, gave me a suspicous look, as if I had lost my mind.

    For the past couple of weeks there has been a strange odor in the laundry room.  I had an eye doctor appointment in Sycamore and Julia came to pick me up.  I got in her car and she said, "What is that smell?"

    Seems my coat needed to be washed.

    (For those of you wondering, I drove her car over and Julia and Emily went shopping.  Emily dropped off Julia at the eye place.)

    Speaking of my coat, I wore my green coat to the market yesterday.   It has at least 7 pockets, and I checked each pocket three times to look for my missing debit card.

    So explain to me how I found the card this morning.  In my black coat.  Which I didn't wear yesterday.

    How do you lose something you didn't have?

    Life is perplexing.

Peace and Love