bad day at black rock

I watched the Cubs get thumped today

     I left after the top half of the eighth inning. 
     Big crowd.  The train was crowded coming in.  The El was crowded going to the park.
     Too crowded.
     Ever see those films of the Japanese subways where they literally push people into the cars?  Well, it wasn't as bad as that.
     But we were pretty packed in.
     Someplace before Fullerton, (which is the third stop before Wrigley, maybe 10-15 minutes from the park) a voice came out of the packed crowd.
     "Stop leaning on me!' someone yelled.
     I am not sure what precipitated this outburst, but the lady who yelled it then said she was talking to that woman, who was described as a knowledge challenged female dog.  Loudly.  And often.
     Then she became the female dog who was also engaged in intercourse with some one's mother.  Several times.  Loudly.
     I honestly only heard one voice yell, "Shut the intercourse up."  Which seemed to set the verbally challenged woman off.  Little did we know she had actually been tame to that point.
     She then proceeded to discuss the intercoursers with some one's mother people in the car who were Cub fans, and therefore a large group of something our current president once said he grabs women by, or cats, you decide.  Not only that, we were having intercourse with some one's mother cats devoid of any manhood.  Which was why she preferred the South Side fans.
     It got worse.
     This lady, who looked about 5 foot tall and about 50 years old, then proceeded to challenge anyone to a fight, saying she would take down any of those intercoursers who have intercourse with some one's mother and claw out their intercourse loving intercourse with some one's mother's eyes out, all you female dogs.
     I am being polite.  She was not.
     When the group got silent and backed away a little, she proceeded to tell everyone who thought they were (adjective/verb) tough that she spent 12 years in the big house and could take any of these female dogs and intercourser who has intercourse with some one's mother out.
     Then she threatened to sic the dogs on them when they were pummelled to the ground.
     We were now approaching Belmont and I seriously considered getting off the El and walking.  My flight or fight gene had definitely kicked in.
     But we stayed on.
     At some point, I am not sure when, she said the following:
     Maybe I'll just take out my lighter fluid and burn you all, you intercoursers who are having intercourse with a mother female dogs.
     That's when I started looking for the emergency exit to the next car.
     We pulled in to Addison, and almost everyone got off.  Silently.  Not looking in her direction.
     I did see a man who may have been hugging her or holding her arms tight against her sides, I am not sure and I did not want to ask.  Or look closely.  I actually thought she might also get off and start pushing people off the platform.  Seriously, she seemed that angry.
     Suffice it to say, all of us intercoursers who have intercourse with mothers dogs were very happy to get off the train.  It seemed noone was breathing or talking and once we hit the platform, life went back to normal, with several nervous laughs.
     Drunk?  Doped up?  Just crazy?
     Who knows.......but it was unnerving, to say the least.
     And then I had to watch what may have been the worst Cub game of the year.
     Too bad it didn't rain.