all aboaooaarrrrd!!!

I have a not so secret secret

     Most of you know I sometimes panic.
     There is something about catching a plane or a train that puts me in a don't think mode.  I panic, do something rash, and then have to suffer a consequence.
     One time I was going home from Chicago.  I knew I was close to catching a train to Elburn, so I went as fast as I could.  As I entered the station I scanned the board for Elburn and saw it was on track 1.  Or at least I saw E on track one.
     I raced for it and was ready to board when I asked if the train went to Elburn.....I always like to double check when I am in a hurry.
     But no, it only went to Elmhurst.  The Elburn train was three tracks over and by the time I got there, it was moving, meaning I had an hour wait.
     When I got to the station after the game Friday, I knew I had plenty of time.  I scanned the board and saw the train for Elburn left at 6:10 from track two.  It was about 5:35 and I was in no hurry.
     I strolled upstairs and decided to check out the bigger board and .....
It showed a train for Elburn boarding on Track 1 with a departure time of 5:42.
     So I did what I normally do.....panicked!  I ran toward the track.  It was almost time.
     I ran past a conductor who called me three times.
     I got to the train and boarded, but thought it was funny it was not full.
    I looked around and found the only man who was not plugged into a laptop or telephone and asked him if this train went to Elburn.
     No, he said.  ELMHURST!
     I got off the train and was walking back when the same conductor called me again and asked where I was running to.  I told him I wanted to catch the train to Elburn but I misread Elmhurst.  I said I thought it said gate one.
     He said, "We call them tracks here.  And if you would have bothered to stop and tell me that I would have told you that the Elburn 5:42 is on Track 4."
     It was exactly 5:42.
     I raced over just as that conductor was signalling to close the doors.  They waited for me and three other people, and we left the station just a minute or two late.
     Deja vu....all over again.
     I always say I won't panic, and then I do.
     I also say I will always make sure to read the entire word, not just the first letter, because some day I'll be in Elmhurst wondering when the next train west will be stopping.
     You'd think at my age I would have learned.
     Four or five  days ago I put on my shorts and went out to water the plants.      I donned my new shorts that I bought by Julia, because I didn't pack shorts for my trip.
    Since I was just getting a hose, and it was early, I didn't bother to cinch the belt.
     I went into the garage, picked up a roll of soaker hose, walked into the driveway and felt my shorts drop down to my ankles.
     Luckily, no neighbors were out to witness me in my boxers with the blue stripes.
     That would have been embarrassing.
     I don't seem to learn about those things either.