who is that man!

I think my wife has a boyfriend

      I hear him.  But I can't find him.
     He seem to be a weather fanatic.
     It was pouring this morning.  I knew that because I could hear it on the roof.
     But a male voice spoke to me from Jackie's side of the bed!
     "Heavy rains are occurring in your area."  That's all he said!  But he had a big lash of light when he announced it.  Come to think of it, maybe it was God?
     No, I digress.
     Like I couldn't tell it was raining, right?
     This is not the first time the voice from the dark has spoken to me.
     "Lightning is occurring in your area."
     "Rain is occurring in your area."
     All the time about the weather.
     And tonight I sat on the bed to pet Corki and I heard, "Lighting is occurring in your area."  At first, I thought we had a talking dog.  But alas, it was the weatherman.
     I thought...no duh, it's a thunderstorm.
    And hear is the weird thing. (Get the pun there?) She, the one who can't sleep at night, never hears the announcement that it is thundering in Walla Walla or raining in Paducah!
     And me, the guy who can't hear shit, wakes up to this weather announcement every time!
     Maybe tonight the weather will be clear.  I won't hear about lightning or heavy rain in my area.  Or announcements of any kind.
     If we could figure out how to turn it off, we would.
     But we are old and incapable of such high tech antics.
     In summary:  I regret not learning to play the piano.  Which has nothing to do with anything but I just watched a video of a little boy playing Piano Man.  It inspired me.
     To bed I go, hoping not to hear a male voice anytime soon.
     Peace out, dudes and dudettes.