well.......

I hate tomorrow

     Nothing against Wednesdays.  Or Jan. 3.  Just the idea that Julia is going back to Switzerland tomorrow.
     I hate that.
     Yet I am terribly proud of her for what she has done in life.  Emily too.  Jackie and I raised our girls with the hope they would become strong, independent, successful adults. 
     And they have.
     I admit I cry sometimes when Julia passes through security.  And sometimes when I am sitting at a computer thinking of her passing through security.
     Most of you know I am pretty emotional about a lot of things. 
     The only year I read "Where the Red Fern Grows" to my class I had to stop in the middle of a chapter a few times, which is why I only read it once out loud.
     Like I said, I am a real sob factory.
     Funny, I am much better than what I used to be.   I couldn't even drive when we dropped Emily off at school for the first time.  And when Julia first left,  in 2002, I wandered the house at night, sopping up tears and eating M & Ms I smuggled in for comfort food.
     It has gotten easier.  I don't use as much tissue as I used to.  But I do binge eat.
     When Jackie and I were young parents, I had a job offer in Price, Utah.  I needed to think about it and we talked it over and decided it would be a good thing.  I never considered how my parents, or her parents, would have reacted to their babies being 12 hours away.
     I think they would have said, "Go.  Live your life.  Find yourself."
     And they probably would have bought a supply of tissue too.