lessons from the grill

I think I am a gas grill expert

    Think is the operative word here.
    I have four (4) grills.  One gas, two charcoal and one I am not sure what it is.
    I mostly use the gas grill, for convenience sake.  It is so much easier to turn a button and get a flame than it is to start charcoal, wait 15 minutes, and then burn the meat.
    I prefer to burn it immediately, without wait.
    No, that is not true.  I usually only half cook chicken and pork.  I burn the steaks and burgers.
    My dad always liked a good hockey puck on a bun and I think it runs in the family.
   And then I stopped in a Whole Foods store on my way home from the zoo.  A guy was out in front with a gas grill and they were sampling New York strip steaks!  And it was a pretty generous sample.
    The steak was done to a state of perfection.  It was reddish on the inside and dark brown on the outside.
    The guy said he got the grill up to 500 degrees, threw the steaks on, flipped them after a couple of minutes, then turned it down to 300.  They were very good.
    I only had one sample, but I could have gone for two or three when he was distracted.
    I decided to put my knowledge to use on hamburgers.  Cook them high, turn it down, let them cook on a lower temp.
    I went out to start the grill and ..... no gas.
    Got the spare tank...... no gas.
   Picked up the third tank, a survivor from Emily's house, and .... surprise....no gas.
    Three empty tanks.
    I was confused until I noticed I had left a burner on the last time I cooked.  I have three cooking flames, each controlled by a knob.  I usually only use the first two, but for some reason the third one was open. And since I never shut the gas off at the tank, I nonburned a tank of propane.
    Well, there is always the charcoal grill and ..... no charcoal.
    So we had pasta.
    I did get the tank filled the next day and grilled hamburgers.
    Put the grill on high, put on two burgers, let them sear, flipped them over to the indirect heat area, turned down the grill and let the gas do it's magic.
    After about 10 minutes I put them on lightly toasted buns and brought them in the house.
    Jackie's must have been good because she did not complain.
    Mine was rare.  A little too rare, but I ate it anyway because I was hungry.
    Ever since then I have felt udderly listless, and I have begun eating grass and mooing. ( Mooing, Doug, not mooning.)
    I have been angry, but I don't know why.
    So now I am thinking, maybe I got the mad cow parasite from my pretty raw burger.
    I hope it's temporary, because I have a date with a New York stripper that should be pretty revealing about my cooking.