improper grammar

I need to watch my grammar

     Yesterday I used Jackie and I incorrectly.  Should have said gave the Cubs gave pleasure to Jackie and me.  Oops.
     Grammar is a word that messes me up.  I did a paper my freshman year at Northern and I used grammer instead of grammar.  I still remember the instructor writing in red ink that I wasn't writing about a relative.  And he circled every grammer, and there were a lot.
     At least I was consistent.
     Those were the days when we had typewriters with correcto tape.  This was white tape that you could put in the typewriter and over stroke the key on the correcto tape, which would white out the space on your paper.  Then you could type the correct word.
     It didn't help if you left out a word or two, however.  Then you had to retype the whole paper.
     It never failed with me that I would retype a line and it would kick down another line.  I ended up doing a lot of papers twice or three times because of that.
     I took typing in high school.  I figured it was a way to meet girls (I didn't) and a skill I would use in journalism (it was).  I flunked the class.  I had to type 45 words per minute with five or less mistakes, or something like that.   The best I could do was 42 words a minute with six mistakes.  She apologized to me for failing me, but I told her I understood.  The important thing was I learned how to type.
     I passed  a test this morning.
     My colonoscopy was good, so I don't have to have another one for 10 years.  My guess is by then they will have figured out a better way to do this.
     I was laying on the gurney and two people were discussing the instrument.  One person called it the big end....I yelled out that they better use the smaller end on me and be sure it was well lubricated.
     They thought I was kidding.
     When I worked at the newspaper I had stomach issues and had what I think was a colonoscopy, so that was maybe 40 years ago.
     Back then they just mounted a 16 mm camera on the end of a garden hose.  I won't tell you what happened next.
     Funny thing.  Last night I had a dream I was being wheeled into the room and I had to pee.  So they told me to go to Lincoln School next to the hospital.  There I found a huge shoe, with the men's room on the top.  Strange dream.
     Today they asked me if I had to use the bathroom and I said no, so they wheeled me back to the procedure room.  As soon as I got in there, I had to pee.  So the nurse wheeled me back to where we started.
     Everyone was wondering why we were back.  The nurse said we did a practice lap first.
     Just like being in a play, right before I go on, I gotta go!