baby it's cold inside

I am a certifiable idiot

     I use to get so frustrated when a student would just not get it.  I could show it to them, walk them through it, write it down, and they would look at me like I was speaking French.
     Which, to be fair, is possible.  I do speak some French.  I am fluent in ordering red wine, which is important.  But I discovered the people in France don't speak the same French I speak.  It must be my Midwestern twang.  Like all good students gone bad, I blame it on my teacher.
     Now I know how it feels.
     We are destined to have air conditioning year round.  Or heat set at an intolerable level.
     Why?
     Because we have a programmable thermostat.
     Emily got it, installed it, has programmed it and has shown us how to program it four (4) times.
     I am embarrassed to call her again.
     I swear, I listened.  I watched.  I may have even written it all down....but for the life of me we can't seem to go from AC to heat and change temperatures.  I can shut it off, but we eventually will want heat.
     The thermostat is not the only issue.  We have a water softener that is only right half the year.  It goes off at 3 a.m. unless it is Daylight Savings Time, then it goes off at 2 a.m......or 4 a.m.....i am not sure.  But when we switch back, it is almost correct.  Almost.  If the power goes off, so does the timer.
     Throw in the on demand water heater with the programmable "at rest" feature and you have a house in constant electronic timer disarray.  The "at rest" feature means the unit does not heat water.    We generally have it at rest from midnight to 6 a.m.
But when I adjusted it, it was at rest from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. then kicked on for about 45 minutes before going back to rest until 6:30.
     Thank heavens the annual cleaning included a resetting of the timer.
     And don't get me started with outdoor lights for Christmas.....which we will be putting up next week to take advantage of the nice weather.  I can set all timers to the same on and off time and they usually go on or off within 30 minutes of each other.
     I  just don't get it.
     So Sarah, I apologize.  I know you don't read this, but I still apologize.  You told me you didn't get it, and I couldn't understand that.
     Now I do.
     Sometimes it isn't that simple.