at the beep, leave your message

Sometimes I don't know what to say to answering machines

     It's not that I don't expect to get a real person these days.  In fact, with caller ID I am surprised anyone takes my calls.
     If I think the person will be out, I practice my message.  Seriously.  I practice what I am going to say.
     Then I never say it.
     I left a message last week that went something like this:
     Hi, this is Terry from church.  We are looking for some people to tell about their experiences....(beep)  Wow.  That was short.  (to Jackie) They have a real.......oh wait.  That was my phone beeping.  I got a text.  I guess I can finish my message.  As I was saying.......
     Sometimes I leave the wrong information.  I know the event is Sept. 9, but I'll say Sept. 8.  Or if it is Monday Sept. 9, I'll say Tuesday Sept. 9.
     I confuse people when I leave messages.
     I think there is a psychological thing to knowing you have a certain unknown amount of time to get the information out in a way it will be understood.  Pressure. Stress. I often panic.
     One time I got a recording where my friends said they were in the shower and couldn't get dry in time to get the phone.  I left a weird message, based on the fact they were two consenting adults in the shower.  I had dialed the wrong number.
      I didn't know that until I saw them and asked how their showers were and they looked at me like I was crazy.
     I don't know what our message says.  I do know there is an RV storage business with a similar phone call and we sometimes get messages asking about storing an RV.  I pass that info along to the real storage people, who I think get a little confused about the whole process.
     And one time I had to cancel a reservation for a B & B in Iowa.  Jackie had a migraine and we couldn't make it.  So I called, and left a message.
     Later that day a man from Monroe, Louisiana, called me and said it was too bad we couldn't make it to his house for a two night stay, he was looking forward to it.  I apologized, and thanked him for letting me know I needed to call the correct number to cancel the reservation.
     My message was clear on that one, but the area code was wrong.
     If it isn't one thing, it's another.