Rip van winkle awakes

I take a while to adjust to time changes

     I fell asleep about 8 last night, woke up at 9, went to bed at 9:30 and woke up at 3 a.m., all Swiss time.
     To say I don't adjust quickly might be an understatement.
     However, I did get sleep....just not at the normal times.
     I also set off to explore a little of Chardonne.
     This is a small village.  A couple of restaurants, a bakery and coffee shop, small grocery store...and lots of vintners.  They have lots of wine here.
     It was a misty, cloudy, drizzly type of day.  But the village is lovely, no matter what kind of weather.
     (Sherrie, if you are reading this, no funi!  The semi-vertical elevator is under going major repairs.)
     As happens in many Swiss villages, the grocery store closes from about noon to 2, so if you need supplies, go early.
     I have walked these streets several times.  (No, I am not a stranded American taken to hustling for money to return home.  Walked the streets as in being a tourist.)
     And I always find something interesting.  So, not many words today....just some pictures.

 It was not exactly a sunny day!

 Flowers are still in bloom....

 These figures are on the fence of a playground.  Just thought it was cute.

Self service flowers.... always love walking past this hut!

I don't want to be the Ugly American, but......

I lost my temper in Geneva

     Call it frustration.  Call it being tired.  Whatever, but I became for a few seconds, that Ugly American Tourist.
     Jackie's walker got lost in transit.  So the very helpful and friendly support person took me through the lost luggage section, the oversize luggage section, the lost luggage behind the scenes area,
(Which I thought was very Swiss.  This employee stepped up to the counter and for five minutes was ignored by the three people working there. They looked at him, and ignored him.  He was in the area behind the scenes and it was clear they were not going to help him...or me. )  but no walker.
     So we went to the lost luggage center, which was the other side of the wall.
     Three people working, all of them helping customers.  I queue had formed, so I got in line, third from the front.
     First person, moves to rep.
     Second person, moves to second rep.
     I am the only person in the room, let alone in line, besides the clerks and they people they are with.
     It takes a while to process a lost luggage claim.
     I waited patiently.
     Then a man and his wife walked in, looked at me, and stepped in front of me. I went ahem in that quiet coughing way, and they smiled at me and nodded....whatever the hell that meant.
     Another man had come in right behind them.  He said to me, in English, "You are going to have to go in front of them...you were here first."
     So when a representative finished the paper work, I moved in front of the man.
     He said, "I am next."
     I said,  almost apologetically, "I am sorry, but I was next in line."
     He says, "No, I am sure I was in line before you."
     I said, "No you were not.  You came in and walked past me."
     He said, "No, you came in after me."
     I said, my voice rising, "Are you kidding me?  I was the only person in the room!  You came in and just stepped in front of me. I AM NEXT!!"
     A voice from behind yelled out, "He was next.  We saw them step around."
     I sat down with the rep and said I was sorry for being so loud, but I was tired and frustrated
She knew I was next, and she apologized because usually they have a number dispenser but the machine had broken.
     She took my information and found the walker, still in Zurich.  She said it would be delivered Tuesday, and at 10 a.m. when I had just gotten out of the shower, Julia's doorbell rang and I had to sign for the walker.
     Yes, I did put on clothes, although my hair was wet.
     And the man and woman who tried to cut me?  Turned out they sounded like jerks when the representative asked them basic questions.  The rep asked them it the suitcase was heavy.  They responded, "It depends on how strong you are."
     In my thinking, I don't think the suitcase was lost.  I think it ran away.  That grey hard sided overweight suitcase decided life with strangers would be far better than two weeks with these twits.
     It's probably in Zurich, having a good laugh.

The eagle has landed

I did survive!  I did!  I did!

We arrived safely in Switzerland on Monday.  Or late Sunday night.  Or early Monday morning.
it was an interesting day.
What kind of idiot shows his displeasure with his job by screwing up air traffic for thousands of people?
Anyway, our flight out of O'Hare left one hour and 10 minutes late.  Which means it arrived one hour and 10 minutes late.
But it was foggy in Zurich, so we had to circle for one half hour.  Which turned out OK, because our flight from Zurich to Geneva was late getting into Zurich, which means it was later getting into Geneva.
Long story short, everything worked out well.
Almost everything.
The last we saw of Jackie's walker was on the luggage cart in Zurich.  Evidently it liked Zurich so much, it decided to stay.
Swiss Air did find it, but it will take a day for it to catch up to us.
Any way, I am looking out onto Lake Geneva, already had a brief conversation, in French, with Julia's neighbor who always laughs when I talk, I didn't spill any wine on the trip over and I only got in one situation involving yelling at a stranger.  But that's another story for another day.  Turns out, when I get really tired, I get really loud.
Peace and love!

just seems to me

I think I am pretty calm right now

     I had a couple of chores to do today.
     Figured if I went to the Thrive garden market at church in DeKalb, I could help set up, run to Target, come back to Rochelle and stop at Walgreen and Moore's ... all before 1.
     So when I got home about 2:15, I was already behind.
     No problem.
     First chore, straightening my new oak tree.
     It has a little curve at the top.  So last week I bought a couple of wooden stakes, (Not the eating kind, that is steaks.  And not the kind you drive into a vampire's heart, those are silver.) some wire and rubber tubing.  I staked the tree and it is now straight.
     Except when you look at it from one angle and see the whole thing leans east.
No problem.  Bought another stake at Moore's and some more rubber tubing.  Went outside and spent 15 minutes staking and wiring, only to discover I had the rubber tubing in the wrong place as it fell down.
     So I unwound all the wire and did it again.  (Further explanation.  I made a large loop, than braided the two loop wires together.  As it tightens, it pulls the tree toward the firmly entrenched stake.)
     Spent another 10 minutes twisting wire only to discover that the wires had disconnected and so no matter how much I twisted, it would not tighten.
     So I unwrapped the wire and did it again.
     After ten minutes, discovered that once again, the wires had come apart.
     So I unwrapped the wire and did it again.
     This time I braided the two ends together.  Put them on the stake.  Twisted the wires and the tree actually started to straighten.
     Gave it one more twist......and the wires snapped in half.
     So the tree leans.
     It was now 4.....and Jackie's brother has called from Jonamac and is coming to visit.  That is great news actually because we hardly see him and his grown kids.  So that was great.
     But I put off mowing and watering the flowers to make the bed, fold the towels and tidy up the house we spent all day yesterday cleaning.
    At this point I am 0 for 3 in the chore department.
     After a wonderful visit with long missed relatives, and some pizza, it was dark, too dark to mow.
     But at least I can pack my suitcase.
     So I have my 7 pairs of socks, 8 tops, three pants and 14 pair of underwear, along with two cans of mini Ravioli, some mac and cheese, Headon's barbecue sauce, Halloween candy and hiking poles, one sweater, a sweatshirt, heavier coat,  and hiking books all in my bag.  Lord knows how much it weighs, but I still have my toiletries and one pair of jeans to toss in.  Then I will be good to weigh.
But now I can't find the charger for the batter for my little camera.  I know where I always put it, and it's not there.  I am confused.
     But I am not starting to panic.  Not at all.  I am quite calm.
     Think I'll go water.  And maybe mow.  10 p.m. isn't too late for that, is it??
     But then again, maybe tomorrow.  I'll just look for my charger again.
     No, I'm not starting to panic.
     Hopefully, the next blog will come from Switzerland....which means, I will miss doing one on Sunday.
     Until the next time, peace and love.

my bags aren't packed, I'm not ready to go

I always wait until the last minute to pack

     Drives Jackie nuts.
     I can't seem to figure out ahead of time what I need to take.
     I have made a list of about 30 items....I have two of them ready.
     I pack quite strangely.  I take a lot of underwear.  A lot.  If we go for an overnight, I take at least four pairs.
     So how many for 18 days?  I don't have 72 pairs, so I will have to adapt.
     Julia has a washing machine and a drier, so I can pack less.  It is a funny system though.  You put in money to wash and the drier is free.
     It is a huge cabinet, with clothes lines strung inside.  Gas heated, you hang your clothes on the lines and set the temp you want.  I generally pick scorching hot, because it is faster.
     Fall is a tough time.  I can't just pack 10 t shirts.....because nights, and days, might be cool.  So I have pulled out about 6 t shirts and 5 long sleeved shirts.  I also have set out my binkie.
     Oh yes, laugh.
     My binkie is actually a zip up liner used in sleeping bags.  I like it on cool nights.  I feel warm, secure, comfortable.  And I may need it on the hike we are taking.
     Two pairs of shoes, four pairs of pants, a coat, sweater, sweatshirts......bulky items, for sure.
     Throw in the hiking poles, half ton of candy and all my camera stuff, and I have a full bag.
     But I haven't done any of that, yet.
     All I have done is think about it.
     I guess tomorrow I will get serious about packing.  After I mow the yard and do a little trimming., that is.
     But the fact is Sunday morning I will be throwing stuff into the suitcase without a lot of thought.
     Then when I get to Julia's, I will look and say "Where is my cord for the computer?" or, "I thought I packed two shoes." or "How come I only have 16 pair of underwear?"
     It's kind of like Christmas at Julia's.....I never know what's in the bag until I open it.
     I just hope I am not disappointed.

Mr. Postman, deliver de letter, da sooner da better

I write a lot of letters

     Oh, I don't write them to people who matter in my life, like friends, relatives, or people I just know.
     I mean faceless bureaucrats, stuck in an office someplace.
     Sometimes I get a response.
     For example, I wrote Michelle Obama a couple of weeks ago.  I read an article in Parade magazine and in it she said her father had MS.  Well, my wife has MS, so I wrote her a letter asking her to use her public notoriety to draw attention to this insidious disease.  I got back a form letter telling me the president is working on several issues important to the people and I could check out his website for more information.
    Usually I save the responses, but this one I canned because it didn't even pertain to my letter.
     I was disappointed.  I will not vote for her for president.
     (Great, start the rumor that Michelle is going to run for president.  Conservative talk show hosts will flip out with stories about the Obamas circumventing the term limit provision of the Constitution.  Rush will threaten to move to Cuba, again.  Why is he still here?)
     I also wrote Lisa Madigan, attorney general for Illinois, asking her office to investigate the monopoly Rockford TV stations are exercising by blacking out Chicago stations.  I got a nice form letter saying the matter has been referred to the Rockford office of Madigan, where I am sure it was deep-sixed.
     Strangely, former Cong. Manzullo and current Cong. Kinzinger have always sent me detailed responses to my questions.  The exception being the TV blackout.  Manzullo once sent me a three page response to questions I raised about the US invasion of Iraq.   Kinzinger sent me one on our role in Afghanistan.  While I don't like the positions, I appreciated the responses.  I was able to see their thought processes.  I like that.
     I've written letters to the editor at the Tribune, and one was published.
     I have written corporations about the conditions of their stores, and written letters of praise for service I received from employees.
     I've sent letters of complaint to food companies and received coupons or free product in return, even though that wasn't my reason for writing.
     Maybe it's just me, but I think people in charge need to hear from us once in a while.  Corporations seem to be people too, so they need to hear from the masses once in a while too.
     I used to buy Dexter shoes, made in Maine.  One day I went to buy a pair, and the shoe had a Made in China label.  Same price.  I didn't buy the shoes, but I wrote Dexter and chided them for taking a good product made in America and outsourcing it to another country.  They never replied, no surprise.
     But companies, lawmakers, people in authority need to hear from the masses.  They need to be asked why once in a while.  They need to be criticized when they falter, and complimented when they do well.
    If we all did that, maybe the USPS would break even for a day.

change happens

Sometimes I am pretty resistant to change

     Head colds and sore throats, not so much.
     But change.  Well, it is hard for me, sometimes.
     We moved the silverware from one side of the kitchen to another.  I have spent three days going to the wrong drawer.  I can never find the pancake turner.
     Sometimes at night I wake up and can't figure out why our bedroom is different.  Then I remember its because for two years I have been in a new bedroom, and it's not the same as the old.
     And I'll admit it now:   the first year of retirement was a lost year for me.  I floated.  Aimless.  Out of my routine, I was unable to establish any routine.
     That's why I played games until 1 a.m.  and slept until 11.
     I am better, although I still stay up late and sleep late..my natural body rhythms just seem to flow that way.
     For the past three years I have been going to 7 or 8 Cubs games each year.
     I knew change was coming, but I am a little uncertain.
     A new video scoreboard in left center?  It'll be great.  I think.  I'll miss looking at the roof tops across the street though.
     The bullpens under the bleachers?  What happens to the ivy?  Can we still tell who is warming up when Jackson implodes?
     Reconstructed grandstands?  New concession areas and bathrooms?  I'll miss those silver troughs lined with manly men all peeing toward the same goal!
     But the biggest change may come on the field.  A right fielder (Soler) who hits for power and average?  A left fielder (Bryant) who hits for power and average?  A slick fielding short stop (Baez) and a veteran third baseman (Castro) who both have bats with pop?  Pitchers who get outs?
     What will I complain about?  What will I moan about? Alacantara's play at second?  Or Almora's speed in the outfield?
    And the games move from WGN Radio to WBBM?  Revenue knows where the TV games will end up!
     All this change may not be good.  It means more people going to the games.  Winning records!      Excitement in the yard!  Talk on the street!!  Headlines in the paper!!!
     I am so excited, I may have wet myself!!!!
     I realized the change tonight.  After the Cubs beat the Cardinals AGAIN, everyone sang Go Cubs Go....but  Gary Pressy (he plays the organ at Wrigley...and no, not THAT organ!  Clean it up.) soon morphed that into For Auld Lang Syne.  Cub fans took a year to say goodbye to the park they have known for 100 years.  I'll hate to see the old park go.
     I said at the start of the season the Cubs would be a .500 team.  At home, they were 41-40....their first home winning record in several years.
     But I was wrong about them being .500.....or I was half right, depends on if you are like me or an optimist.
      I'm thinking playoffs next year.  Playoffs, not the series.  That will come in 2016.
     And that will be one change I will embrace whole heartedly!

I've just seen a face, I can't recall the time and place....

I may be short a brick or two

     I see Brent.  I say to him, "I saw you in that commercial for your business and your were pretty good on camera."
     I thought it was a good compliment.  He did look good.  Polished.  Articulate.  Successful.
     And now, the rest of the conversation.
     "What commercial?"
     "The one for your bank....how many commercials are you in?"  said with a laugh.
     "I'm not in a commercial for my bank.  We don't have TV commercials."
     "But I saw you.  Blue shirt.  Tie.  Looking straight at the camera.  Delivering the message."
     "Not me, sorry."
     So here's the question:  Am I just nuts?  (I had another expression, that involved Goofy and Minnie and Mickie.  But it's not very Disney-like.)
     OK, I could have dreamed it....but it was so lifelike!
     Then I got to wondering about other things in life.
     Did I really see Jimmy Buffet this year?  Have I really gone to several Cubs games?
     Does Beth really stalk Casey Kasum, even though his body has disappeared?
     What is real and what is not?
     I am perplexed.
     Have my dreams overtaken my life to the point I don't know if I am dreaming or living?  Am I really drinking tea now or just dreaming?
     Oops...dribbled tea down my tee shirt so I know I am awake.  (If I had a shirt I only used for drinking tea, wouldn't that be a tea shirt also, even if it had long sleeves?)
     And it could be Brent knows I am pretty gullible.  He may be pulling my leg.
     So my fellow Americans, I ask you, don't watch TV just for entertainment, watch TV to spot Brent and prove I am not nuts.
     Thank you, and good night.

at the beep, leave your message

Sometimes I don't know what to say to answering machines

     It's not that I don't expect to get a real person these days.  In fact, with caller ID I am surprised anyone takes my calls.
     If I think the person will be out, I practice my message.  Seriously.  I practice what I am going to say.
     Then I never say it.
     I left a message last week that went something like this:
     Hi, this is Terry from church.  We are looking for some people to tell about their experiences....(beep)  Wow.  That was short.  (to Jackie) They have a real.......oh wait.  That was my phone beeping.  I got a text.  I guess I can finish my message.  As I was saying.......
     Sometimes I leave the wrong information.  I know the event is Sept. 9, but I'll say Sept. 8.  Or if it is Monday Sept. 9, I'll say Tuesday Sept. 9.
     I confuse people when I leave messages.
     I think there is a psychological thing to knowing you have a certain unknown amount of time to get the information out in a way it will be understood.  Pressure. Stress. I often panic.
     One time I got a recording where my friends said they were in the shower and couldn't get dry in time to get the phone.  I left a weird message, based on the fact they were two consenting adults in the shower.  I had dialed the wrong number.
      I didn't know that until I saw them and asked how their showers were and they looked at me like I was crazy.
     I don't know what our message says.  I do know there is an RV storage business with a similar phone call and we sometimes get messages asking about storing an RV.  I pass that info along to the real storage people, who I think get a little confused about the whole process.
     And one time I had to cancel a reservation for a B & B in Iowa.  Jackie had a migraine and we couldn't make it.  So I called, and left a message.
     Later that day a man from Monroe, Louisiana, called me and said it was too bad we couldn't make it to his house for a two night stay, he was looking forward to it.  I apologized, and thanked him for letting me know I needed to call the correct number to cancel the reservation.
     My message was clear on that one, but the area code was wrong.
     If it isn't one thing, it's another.

Uncle Dougie, go away!

I won't see my favorite Uncle Dougie for 7 months

     Parting is such sweet sorrow.
     We parted with a bad feeling though, in more than one way.
     It was fairly messy.  When I finally wiped my hands of it, not only were they red, they were sticky.
     And I admit, the whole affair left me with a bad taste in my mouth and maybe will require a Tums.  Or four.
     Who is Uncle Dougie? you ask.
     Not who, but what.
    Uncle Dougie is a pulled barbecue pork sandwich served on kaiser roll with a sprinkling of crunchy fried onions over the meat.  A quarter of a dill pickle is served alongside the sandwich.
It's a Wrigley treat.  But it is a mess to eat.  When I am done, my fingers are covered with sauce.
    This time my shirt escaped, but that is not usual.
     I love the ball park food.  Not the prices, but the food.
     This year I have had:  Italian sausage, buffalo burger, Uncle Dougies, a Smokie link, and a couple of decade dogs....the Reuben and I don't remember the other one.
     I only eat at the day games....by the time the night games start, I have already had food out of the park.
     If you get to Wrigley an hour before the game, you get 25 percent off at the food booths.  Except for the Smokies.
     So the $7  dog become $5.25, a much easier price to digest.  Pop is also discounted, so you can get a $16 lunch for $12, which is ok.....unless you have a family of four or five.
     Going to the game is expensive.
     Anyway, this being my last game of the season, I wanted it to be a memorable meal.  So I got an Uncle Dougie and some fries.
     Now, some seven hours later, it is in fact, memorable.
     Tums may help, but I have a feeling this is going to be an open window night.
     I had debated between an Uncle Dougie,  an Italian sausage, and a buffalo burger.  (Actually, put  walked into a bar with that and you could have a really bizarre joke.  Write your own punch line here......)
     I figured I could have the burger and the sausage at home, but the Uncle Dougie is not something I would make or Jackie would eat, so in the long run it won out.
     Too bad the Cubs didn't.
     Like I have for the last 60 years, I'll just have to wait 'til next year.
     Maybe by that time I'll be over today's Uncle Dougie!

first and.....whatever

I went to the Hub football game Friday night

     I have not been to many for the past couple of years.  Rain, vacation, whatever....the last two years I have missed a lot of games.
    I made it a point to go see the team this year, especially since one of my favorite students is drum major!
    Ah...the thrill of Friday Night Football.
    Darn near got run over in the parking lot by a crazy lady driving a blue Mustang convertible......
    Bought a $2 bottle of water, which for some reason surprised me....usually they buy water from Walmart on Walgreen's and sell it for $1.  But it was cold, and I needed it to wash down my pork chop sandwich.
    Believe it or not, that used to be my motivation for going!  I love the pork chop sandwiches!  I usually get a sandwich and a popcorn and I am good for the night.  The one Friday night was every bite as good as I remember.  (Notice the pun....every bite instead of every bit...pretty clever, huh?)
    When I was teaching and would go to a game I would get surrounded by fifth and sixth graders.  I don't think they were used to seeing their teachers out in public.
    Last night only one child said hello to me.....she was a high schooler.  No little kids saying hello or visiting.  No parents either.
    To be honest, I don't like the first down call.  Seems a little much.  And the music that plays over the loudspeaker is an example of why I am hard of hearing....too  loud for my sensitive ears.  I was not the only one.  For some reason the recording stopped and people clapped.  Then it started again.  Then stopped and people clapped.  Whenever the recorded music stopped, people clapped.  It truly was a jungle out there....
    Parents behind me had a child...maybe four or five years old.  They were trying to explain the game to him and he was not getting it.  He was four or five.  One parent would use a football phrase and the little tyke would ask what it meant.  Halfway through the second quarter the dad said, "Just shut up for 10 minutes and watch the game. "  When the little one said something, the dad said, "I said shut up!"  Mom chimed in too...."You heard your dad, shut up and sit down."
    I felt sorry for the kid, and in a way for the parents.  They will have a lot of questions during the next 15 years.  And he won't shut up.
    As the band was finishing up at half time, the teams came out to warm up for the second half.  I thought of the Don McLean song...."while the teams were on the field, the marching band refused to yield."  I may have even started singing it to myself.
    I did see one person wearing a shirt that said "Fear the Hub."
    Now I am not so sure a hub is a thing to fear.  Maybe fear the tigers, or the pirates, or the demons....but a hub doesn't seem like it is going to put panic in an opponent's eyes.
    I left midway through the fourth quarter.  The Hubs were down 36-20 at that point, and didn't seem like they would be coming back.
    Jackie and I plan to go to homecoming... no, we won't be wearing formals.  Hopefully the results will better.

dream, perchance to achieve

I have weird fantasies

   And no, I am not talking about sex.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  But now that you mention it, sex is one of my fantasies.  But I digress.
     I often....and I mean several times a day.... have fantasies that have me the hero, or good guy, or blathering idiot.
     For example.  I look up from doing my crossword puzzle and see a car in the neighbor's driveway.  I recognize the car as not normally being there.  I call the police and the burglars are caught.
     Or this:  I find a wallet full of money and return all of it to its rightful owner.  Wait a minute, that did happen to me.  We were driving through Chain o Lakes State Park with my mom and family and I saw a wallet on the road.  I stopped the car and picked it up.  It was loaded with money.  I took the wallet to the main gate and gave it to the park person on duty.
     I realize now what a mistake that was!  I should have looked for the owner's id, called him, told him how much money was in the wallet then taken it to the park person.  For all I know, the money could have disappeared and the wallet never returned.  Anyway....
     I am doing my volunteer thing and strike up a conversation with a woman who has a child who has never talked to anyone.  Suddenly, the child starts talking to me about guinea pigs.  The mother is eternally grateful and asks me to be the child's make believe grandfather.  I do that and we forge a bond that carries through life.
     I had one today.....woman was wearing a Cubs shirt.  Had out a little pig.  We talked about pets.  This four or five year old girl says, "We have a doggie."  I ask the dog's name.   Little girl says "Wiggly."
     OK, she had not developed her r sound yet.  Mom says, "Wrigley....like the park."  I say oh, that's really good.  Them mom says, "Sweetie, tell the man your name."  Little girl looks at me and says, "Addison."
     Now that is all true.  My fantasy is the woman is so impressed with my friendly nature and guinea pig that she gives me unlimited use of her family's luxury box at Wrigley.
     Twenty years ago it would have been about sex.  Twenty years ago EVERYTHING was about sex!
     This is a consistent fantasy:  I stop to help a woman with a flat tire and she turns out to be Michael Jordan's mother.  He hears of my good deed and we become cigar smoking golfing buddies.  OK, I don't know how to change a tire or golf, but it's a fantasy for crying out loud!
     Then there are the theater fantasies.  I'll be in a play and a talent scout is looking for an older guy with a pot belly to play a grand father to an autistic child who happens to be the daughter of a famous basketball star......wait, that sounds pretty familiar!
     Toll road crashes, apartment building fires, bank robberies, attempted kidnappings.....I witness them all and due to my brains/quick thinking/athleticism (don't laugh, Beth) or whatever, I become the hero, the star, the guy who saves the day.
     I think that's why I get so tired.  All that activity just wears one out.
     But I can get some sleep when I am on the sheik's private jet to Paris after saving his prized dog from a pack of wolves.
     Damn, there I go again!

an eight letter word for difficult.....

I found an advantage to being an old fart

     I was doing a crossword puzzle today when I ran across the clue:  Friday player.  Now there is lots you could read into this, but I had and idea it was not sports related.
     Four letters, ends in b....so I thought it was Webb.
     Now for those of you under 50, Jack Webb was Sgt. Joe Friday in Dragnet.  Long before Mash, (he was Col. Potter) Harry Morgan was a TV star as Friday's right hand, Joe Gannon.    I remember watching our little black and white TV as the pair solved all sorts of crimes in LA.  Car thefts, missing dogs, stolen purses.....I don't remember any murders because back then people didn't kill each other.
     Friday and Gannon would do a 30 minute show, and the longest sentence must have been five words.  They gave meaning to staccato.
     I notice that lots of crossword puzzle clues are aimed at my generation.  There is never one on Lady Gaga or Beyonce, but movies and shows from the 50s and 60s and even 70s seem to be fertile field.
     I guess  the Simpsons show up.....seem to remember a clue that was something like:  Homer's bartender.
     The early shows are in my memory.  The new ones are not.
     My mind is like a Rolodex.  (OK, that was a round spindle on a wheel device with index cards that held names, addresses and phone numbers of business contacts.) At some point it gets full, something has to be tossed.
     Full?  Forget that.  Time magazine said the human brain has a capacity equal to 1 million gigabytes of hard drive on a computer.
     So maybe it's not full yet.  But the Rolodex has some cards that have not been used for a while, and I think they got tossed.
     As I sat on the porch this morning, sipping a pumpkin latte from Cypress House, I remembered how much I enjoy this time of year.  The crispness at night, the mild days, the quietness of the neighborhood....it was hard to concentrate on my puzzle.
     I also realized how fortunate I am.  I have fairly good health, a comfortable life, a wife who can still walk, children who are doing well, friends who put up with me.
     In a puzzle, the clue would be:  eight letter word describing my life.
     The answer would be: Thankful

a little of this, a little of that

Sometimes I can't focus very well

     Tonight seems to be one of those nights.  Thoughts are racing trough my little brain, and I am tired and sore.
     I also found out today I am below average in a good way.  Health officials report the waist lines of men have expanded, with men over 40 now having an average 38 + inch waistline.  Mine has held at 36 for a few years, although it is a tight 36.
     I visited the field rep of Adam Kinzinger in Rochelle today.  I noted in the United States capitalism reigns, with competition being a prime motivator for businesses to improve.  I asked why this did not apply to Cable TV.  I am still upset at having Chicago stations blacked out in favor of the Rockford stations.  I miss WGN, which is not the same as WGN America.  Funny thing is, this guy has a girl friend in the suburbs and he loves watching the morning news and he also misses being able to see Chicago stations.
     Cubs sweep Cincinnati......they are 38-37 at home, 9-3 in their last 12 games.  I can't wait until next year!
     Last winter I used an ice melter on my driveway....killed all the grass along the drive and sidewalk.  I've spent three days digging out the dead weeds and hopefully will get it seeded in time for the rains and warm weather next week.
     BLTs for supper with tomatoes from our garden.....tasted pretty sweet.  Next year I will have two raised gardens and may go into the gourmet produce business!
Ethical dilemma:  On Friday I have a zoo day.  After the zoo I always stop at a local coffee shop and get a chocolate monkey.  (Espresso with a couple of shots of banana in a chocolate mocha base.)       Starbucks has a special buy one, get one free after 2 p.m.  Do I drive an extra block and get two small Starbucks, different coffees, and double my pleasure?  Or support the nice people at the coffee shop?
     I need to cut my fingernails...making too many typing mistakes.
     I walked two miles today.  I worked in the yard today.  My arm is a little sore.  My knees are a little sore.  I am tired and going to bed early.
     Can't find peat moss in town either....have to stop in DeKalb, I guess.
      My mind is empty, almost....thanks for listening.

stop, look and think

I sometimes need to stop, look and think

     I mean well.  Really, I do.
     It just doesn't always work out the way I want.
     Emily and John brought me some maple syrup from Canada.  It is 100 percent, pure, grade A amber syrup.  I have used it on pancakes several times.
     Last night  I noticed there were some floaters in the syrup, which I attributed to crystallization of the sugar.  OK, I had never seen green sugar before, but I figure, Eh, its Canada.
     I used it.  (Yes, we had pancakes for supper.  Feels good to shake it up once in a while.)
     The syrup was delicious.....I loved it.
     Then I read the label:  Refrigerate after opening.
     Syrup can develop mold..... if you don't refrigerate it.
     So it is now in the cooler and I wonder, should I buy cheesecloth to filter it?  Will a coffee filter work?  Do I even need to worry about the floaters still in the bottle?
     Time will tell.
     Jackie and I are friends with Kevin and Jen, who are friends of Emily.  They have a lovely daughter named Samantha.  They also have a baby sitter named Samantha.
     So when I went to Walmart tonight to buy milk and bread I walked past this lady and a little girl with blond hair.  I said hello, took four steps, then turned and said, "Is that Samantha?"
She said yes, so I went over to the car where the little girl was, looked in and said,"Hello, Samantha!" to a little girl who I had never seen before and looked really scared by the creepy old man.
     "I'm Samantha," she said.
      "Yes, but I thought the little girl was Samantha too," I replied, feeling very foolish.
     I went in to buy milk and bread.  I say that again for emphasis.  On Dec. 12, 1969 I headed out to buy milk and bread from the store across the street.  My friend John said I did not need the car keys and all that money because it was across the street and I was not to leave the apartment under any circumstances because I was getting married tomorrow.
     So tonight I went in the store and spent a loooong time looking for a half loaf of bread.  We don't eat a lot of bread, but we have fresh tomatoes and bacon, so I thought a BLT for supper Wednesday would be a great thing.
     I looked and looked and looked.  A lady asked me if I was enjoying reading the labels.  I told her I could not find the half loaf of Bonnie Bunny bread.
     She pointed to the several loaves, all with a huge red 1/2 Loaf printed on the end.  "These?"
     And there you have it.
     I don't see what I see, or hear what I hear.
     I don't read labels, that's pretty clear.
     I am what I am, for better or worse;
     I think my brain may have picked up a curse.

the world is a scary place

There is a reason I don't watch many cop shows

     Nightmares.
     Yes, nightmares.
     When I watch a show like SUV or NCIS or the show with the chimes, I get goofy.
     And goofy as in a bad thing.
     I know we live in a terrible world, full of drug addicts and thieves and I know I should sleep with a loaded  Uzi or shotgun next to my bed......TV tells me that.
     When I watch one of those shows, I hear every little creak in the house.  If the ice maker drops out a couple of cubes, I am on patrol with my wasp spray and fly swatter.
     (There is an image for everyone to grasp....me in my boxers with a fly swatter and a can of Raid, stumbling through the darkened house in the middle of the night.  Good luck sleeping with that image!)
     We have a ghostly screen door on the patio.  Sometimes it just slides open.  Or shut.  Or just a little distance.  I hear it.
     The first couple of times, it scared the bejeesus out of me.  I tried to have Jackie go and check it out, but she was asleep, so I went.
     When I hear a noise I go through every room of the house.  I look in every closet.  I check the front door.  I check the windows.
     I will even go into the basement to check the windows down there, especially if I know someone has been down there....like a plumber, or electrician, or cable guy.  I go down to make sure they are locked.
     (On Skare Court, Jackie went downstairs once and looked at the windows.  "What is this mess?" she asked.  I had scattered hundreds of roofing nails on the ledge right under the windows.  My thought was, if someone steps through they will step on a nail and hurt themselves, most likely screaming, so I would have time to get my Raid and call 911.  I didn't think it was stupid.)
     Then I check them all over again.
     I stand in the middle of the house and listen....hopefully I will hear the noise and identify it.
     So I watch comedies.  And the Cubs, which create their own set of nightmares.
     When I see strange cars parked near the house at night, I call the police.
     I never let people in I don't know. Sometimes I don't even let in people I do know!
     Just kidding.
     I should keep the car keys next to the bed.....I can hit the panic button and set off the alarms, which would scare away any intruders, I hope.
     And maybe my cell phone, in case the land line gets cut.
     My Swiss Army knife.
     And a baseball bat.
     I'll need a bigger nightstand.
     Geez....I am not going to sleep tonight just thinking about it all!!

this is a recording

Electronics have taken over my life

     Emily and John were over yesterday installing our new thermostat.
     As you may recall, I could not set the thermostat we had.  The display was too small and too dark for an old guy like me to read. (Yes, in addition to hearing problems, my vision isn't as good as it once was.)
     Our new thermostat is a Nest.  I can control it by turning the dial.  I can also control it by sitting down at my computer and going to my Nest account, then setting the temps.  Emily can sit down at her computer in her house and change our temperatures.
     The Nest will eventually "learn" our likes and dislikes.  For example, if we set the temperatures at different levels, the thermostat will learn what we like at different times of the day and set it automatically.
     There is also a motion sensor.  If no one is detected in the house for a certain number of hours, there is a minimum/maximum temperature that the unit will maintain.
     We can also track our energy usage by visiting the web site.  We have a setting that is heat/cool so the unit will tell the furnace whether it needs to heat the house or cool the house.
     If we move, the Nest goes with us.
     Completely foolproof...so they say.
     It reminds me of the old joke.  People are in an airplane and the pilot comes on and makes this announcement:  Welcome to flight 2788, the first computer driven non piloted airplane.  No humans are in charge of this flight, it is all being control by a computer.  Sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. You are making history.  This is a recording.  This is a recording. This is a recording.  This is a.....
     You get the picture.
     Anyway, the Nest is installed.  Thank you very much.
     Now if I could just get a remote controlled lawn mower......

there's one born every second

I am a sucker for kids selling stuff

     I don't know why.  Basically, I am pretty cheap, but when I see a young person selling stuff, I want to buy!
     I have turned around to go back to lemonade stands to by 25 cent lemonade.
     One time I saw a stand near Tilton.  The little girl was going into fifth grade, and I thought she was going to be in my room.
     So I stopped.  Lemonade was 25 cents and I had a dollar.  She took my dollar and said, "I don't have any change."  The girl that was with her looked at her and said, "Go ask your mom for some quarters."  Otherwise, I would have spent $1 on a watery glass of lemonade.
     So far this school year we have bought:  yellow garbage bags; popcorn; a Hub Card....and it is only September!
     Actually, the popcorn was through the girls' volleyball, soccer or baseball team....maybe.  Anyway, I got the carmel corn and I tell you, it was the best I have ever eaten!  A light sweet covering, with pecans mixed in.......it came Tuesday and I finished it Friday. Jackie avoided it because it was 150 calories per serving, and the jar had 15 servings, so  I had.....a hell of a lot of calories.   I have not tried the cheese corn yet, because I seem to be full....but I am sure it is delicious.  It was pretty pricey, but it's for the kids.
     We have bought Hub Cards in the past and never used them.  This time we have used 3 of the coupons so far.....all for ice cream.  What does that tell you about my eating habits?
     Soon the other schools will start their fund raisers and I can't wait for someone to show up at the house to sell.  Seriously!
     I don't know why.....but I get hooked.
     Girls Scout Cookies, Boy Scout popcorn...doesn't have to be school related.
     I guess it comes down to recognizing these young people who are doing something I can't do....go up to strangers and ask them to buy something.
     I am getting better with the Rotary calendars, but it is still tough.
     Maybe I can hire a little kid to go door to door with the calendars?
     Now that's a thought.

that was easy

It took 15 minutes to restore us to modernity

     The Comcast tech showed up, we explained the problem, he said it sounded like a bad amplifier and voila, he fixed it within 15 minutes!
     For the first time since Wednesday, we have service at home.
     I did go to Emily's and use her WIFI, but did not stay on for long....and no spider solitaire.
     I think I might have broken the addiction to that game.  I have not played in four days and I did not play today, even with a working system.
     I did aerate and over seed my yard.
    Now folks, you know how I feel about Sears.  So even I was surprised with I bought a tow behind spreader from them.
     Yesterday was the first time I got to use the spreader.  It actually worked pretty well, once I figured it out.
     The wheel would not turn, but WD 40 seem to end that problem.
     I have a rider, and when I attach the spreader to the riding mower, I can't quite reach it from the seat.
     So I figure just set the spreader on on and hop on the mower.
     Wrong again, seed brain.
     The seed started coming out of the spreader, and I jumped on the mower but hit a kill switch and the mower stopped.  By the time I got it started, I had a huge pile of grass seed on the ground.
So I cleaned it up, spread it around and thought and thought till my puzzler was sore.  (Thank you Dr. Seuss for that wonderful phrase.... a sore puzzler.)
     I found a long pole.  I closed the spreader, leaded it with seed, got on the mower, started it, put it in gear then reached back and pushed the lever up.  Too far.  The spreader opened all the way and I had a huge pile of grass seed on the ground.  So I cleaned that up, and spread it around.
     I figured I was pushing too hard, so I filled the spreader, closed it, got on the mower, pushed it open and took off.
     Nothing was coming out.  I did not push it all the way open.
     I tried a clamp.  No dice.  Then I tightened the do not tighten bolt tight.  I filled the hopper.  I got on the mower.  I started the mower.  I put it in gear.  I reached behind and pushed the open switch with my pole and......
     Voila!!  Grass seed spreading at a nice even rate.
     OK, it took a while longer than I imagined.
     But I have spread the seed.
     Tomorrow I will do the fertilizer.
     But now that I know the trick, it should be a piece of cake.  Right?

maybe some lemondade is on tap

I need to be more positive

     I have been a little dark lately.....so I am turning it around.
     Instead of three days without Internet, TV and phone, I am looking at three days of using my time to read, work my crossword, and do yard work.
     And yard work did get done today.  I mowed.  Rolled my yard.  Aerated my yard.  Over seeded the yard.  Tomorrow morning I am going to get up early (which is sometime before 10) and fertilize it    before going to work.
     Yes, work!  I am subbing in my old room tomorrow.  When they get near the bottom of the barrel for subs, they call me.  I don't mind doing afternoons, and am especially happy to do this one.  In fact, I am always happy to sub for a happy reason....like the closing on the sale of a house.
     Even the lack of progress in the yard didn't bum me out so much.
     In fact, I am turning those lemons into lemonade.
     For $5 I will give you a tour of the seven wonders of the world!
     Yes, that is right.  For a measly $5 I will take you on a guided tour of some of the world's most amazing sites.
     You'll see the great Unfinished Wall of Dickowdom.  China may have a bigger one, but my wall is unique in many ways.
     We'll stop off at the Great Sands of the Unpatio.  Sure, there are bigger sand dunes, and sand beaches, and sand hills.....but this hill will impress you for the huge amount of vegetation present.
Forget the Grand Canyon, come step over Canyon Where In The Hell Did This Come From?  Learn about the proper location of drainage tubes to minimise washouts.
     Ever wanted to see the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?  See my Hanging Gardens of Cucumbers instead.  You may even arrive in time to see the 14 inch yellow cucumber hanging on to its scraggly vine!  Truly a treat for the eyes!!
     No doubt you have read about the holes in Siberia.  Well, my tour will take you to several holes that have appeared in the past six months.  There is no dirt around the holes, so my guess is I have a rare earth eating animal previously unknown to the annals of science.
     At the end of your tour you will have a chance to relax and share a glass of wine with me, Terry, the friendly tour operator.
Who knows, this could be the highlight of your fall vacation travels.
Don't call now, because I still don't have phone, Internet or cable.  I am using Emily's WIFI....and instead of sitting in the car in her driveway, I am actually in her house.
See....I can do it!  Positives galore!!!

frustrating, frustrating, frustrating

I wish I was better equipped for this crap

     When I got home today, Jackie had just turned on Channel 9 for the noon news.  No picture.  In fact, no picture on any channel.  Some channels had pixelated pictures, blurred sound.  But no channel was right.  The bedroom tv is ok, but it is not HD.  The basement TV has HD and performs the same as the upstairs one.
     So I go to call Comcast.
     Phone is dead.
     So I go on the computer to contact them.
     No internet service.
     We have the Comcast triple play.....which means we are triple out of luck.
      So I use my cell phone and call.  I am given three options:  trouble with tv, trouble with phone, trouble with Internet.
      I start with tv
      I did not talk to a human.  Everything was that nice humanized computer voice that said a signal would be resent and it would be 30 minutes for all to be normal.  The line disconnected.
      So I called Comcast and pushed the phone option.  A woman answered.
      She had an accent and I found it difficult to understand her.  I explained the situation.  No tv, no Internet, no phone.  She said there were no service issues in the area.
       Then the line went dead.
      So I called and hit the button for phone issues.  I got a woman, who again I had a little trouble understanding, and explained the situation.  She said she would send out a computer link to reset the phone.  I again said I did not have Internet.  She said I could use WIFI.  I asked, how do I acess WIFI if I have no Internet and am 8 miles from town where I can find WIFI.  She scheduled a technician for Friday.
      So I called Comcast and hit the button for internet issues.  This lady said there was a service outage from 10:35 and would be up and running at 3.  I said thank you and went to rehab for my aching arm.
      When I got home after 4, Jackie was on the phone with a human.  She explained the problem.  After an hour, the lady said the technician on Friday would have to solve the problem.
      They always ask, "Is there anything else I can help you with."  Jackie answere, "Well I guess not since you really haven't helped me at all."
      Friend Renee had a similar problem and replaced her power strip.  I went into town, found a power strip, discovered I did not have my wallet, and went back home.
     No internet, no phone, no HD tv, no patio, my arm hurts every morning about 2 a.m. and I am tired and achy....I am just a tad frustrated.
     I am at Emily's, John is cooking supper and I am sipping a fruity wine he just opened.  I think I will enjoy this glass, then go home and have a glass or two of a bottle opened at home.
     With luck at some point I will pass out and not awake until Friday when the Comcast guy comes.
      Comcast triple play  = triple frustration.
     If you need to get hold of me, use my cell.  815 766 2991.
     And please, don't post anything really funny or interesting on Facebook until Friday!

would you like a disease with that meal?

I am not really germophobic.

    Really, I am not. I understand there is a little dirt on all of us that we will eventually consume.
    But I have my limits.
(There is a fly buzzing me.  I have to get the fly swatter.)
     For legal reasons, I will not mention specific stores or businesses.
     Some years ago I stopped in a sandwich shop.  The young boy behind the counter finished with the customer ahead of me.  He took his money, put it in the drawer, made change, counted out the bills and turned to me and said, "What can I do for you."
     I replied, "First off, you can wash your hands."
     Money has lots of germs on it.  I hate it, absolutely hate it, when a clerk takes my money and then touches the food.
(Wait....it landed.  But I can't find it.)
     Tonight I stopped at a store and a young girl waited on me.  She took my money, gave me change and then filled my soft ice cream dessert order.  I was OK with that, because she did not actually touch the food...she didn't put her hands in the ice cream or anything.
     But another girl was using a mop, pushed the mop and bucket into a corner, went to the counter and waited on the next customer!  She never washed her hands!!  I would have asked her to do that before taking and making my order.
(There it goes.  Are flies male and female?  How do you tell?)
     Last week there was a video on line about those glass glasses in hotel rooms.  I watched it.  I swear to Howard Johnson, I will never use a glass glass in a hotel ever again!.
     The people doing the report rented rooms for two nights.  Then they hid a camera in the bathroom.  They made it clear they were staying one night, but another couple was staying in the room the next night.
     The staff took the dirty glasses, put them in the sink and sprayed them with glass cleaner.  Then they used a towel hanging in the bathroom to wipe them!  Glass cleaner!!  You don't drink glass cleaner!
     At another hotel you can hear someone cleaning a toilet, then it flushes.  She is wearing a plastic glove.  But she uses that glove to pick up the glasses and dip them in water in the sink!
How sanitary is that?
(Speaking of sanitary, that stupid fly won't stop for me to swat him.  What if he is actually a reincarnated relative or old friend?  I'm swatting it anyway, if I can.)
    When I worked at a Jewel deli I was told to use those plastic gloves when waiting on a customer.  But when I was done, I was to remove the glove and toss it.  Now people wear the gloves to do everything, defeating of the purpose of the glove in the first place!  The glove is not to protect their hands, it is to protect us customers from germs and dirt on their hands and fingers that get there when they wait on customers!
     And don't get me started about guys who use the urinals and leave the bathroom without washing.....absolutely gross to see!
     Well, I feel better now.
(I would be a lot happier if I could get that damn fly that has been buzzing my head since  I started this.)
     I think I'll go wash my hands, brush my teeth and go to bed.

get 'em while they're hot

I sold Rotary calendars Saturday 

     I spent a couple of hours hawking the calendars outside Walmart.  Bobbie C., Ross, Karen and I were the sellers for late morning/early afternoon, and I know there were others before me and after me.
    I saw a lot of people I know....but you know how I am with names.
    I recognized Kelly, had to think which daughter was with her....it was Haley.  I know I did not spell that right...Hailey?  Haily?  I had the right name, which is unusual.
Sort of met a friend of Bobbie's who knew me, and said I knew him.  I agreed....though for the life of me I can't remember him.
     Saw a neighbor who must have had a haircut because I do not recognize her right away....I really have to look.  Then I feel like I am staring...which isn't good for an old guy like me to do when it involves a young female.
     A man from the neighborhood stopped and gave me a hard time....and at first I didn't recognize him.  I had to look into the sun to see all his facial features, but soon  I realized who he was and had a nice visit with the former state senator.
     I saw a lot of people I knew, and I would say 85 percent of them I addressed by their correct name.
     Anyway, Bobbie was there for 90 minutes, I was with her for another 90 minutes and we sold......1 (one) calendar.
     As soon as Ross showed up, people were practically throwing money at us!  I sat with Ross for about 45 minutes and I believe we sold six calendars during that time!
     Anyway, this is a commercial.  If you want, stop reading now and I won't be offended.
     Times are tough.  Families are stressed.  The Rotary calendar sales help support groups that ease that stress.  The local food pantry, a domestic abuse center, Focus House, CASA, Shining Star.
     Maybe you are not familiar with some of these.
     Shining Star works with children who have been abused.  Their figures say 1 in 4 girls, and 1 in 6 boys, will be sexually abused by the time they are 18.  Shining Star has trained counselors and volunteers that will help a child.  For example:  Say a five year old has been abused.  That child has to tell someone, who reports it to authorities.  Someone from the local police department will talk to the child.  Then DCFS gets called.  Someone from DCFS talks to the child.  The state's attorney may interview the child.  That young person, already frightened and confused, will tell the story of their abuse to strangers over and over and over.  Imagine what that can do to a five year old.....or a 13 year old.
     Shining Star provides one person to interview the child.  The other agencies' representatives  sit in a different room and watch the interview on a closed circuit TV broadcast..  The child only has to tell their story one time.
     Plus, Shining Star will help provide counseling for the child and the family.
     And that, friends, is worth the $20 the calendar costs.
     Let me know how many you want.

riding on the city of new orleans....

I took the train to the Cubs game today

     And truthfully, you humans surprise me.
     A group of people came on in Geneva, I believe.  They had a huge box of Dunkin Donuts and cans of PBR.  Now, donuts and beer may be a rich combination for breakfast, but PBR?  I guess they were lucky it wasn't Old Mulepiss....I mean Old Milwaukee.
    And a man was having a conversation with I assume his son and his son's girlfriend. They were talking about strange job requests, and the man said once he had to remove all the bushel baskets from this chain of food stores...he claimed there were 70,000 of them.  Then six months later, the brains decided they wanted the bushel baskets back.
     The young adults said, and this is a direct quote:  "Uh....what are bushel baskets?"
     This shows the dire state of American education when young people can't comprehend what a bushel basket is.
     The guy tried to splaine dis Lucy, but they were clueless.  (I just channeled Ricky Ricardo...must be the messages in my head)  Finally he told them to look around the (name of chain) store the next time they were in and see if they can see big round baskets.
    The conversation did strike me though.  Years ago, we used bushel baskets for lawn clean up, picking up leaves, carrying clothes.....and I haven't seen one in years.  Years.  I think I will have to go to Jewel sometime and look around.
     So I thought of other things a 20 something might not have ever seen, like rotary dial telephones, black and white TVs, typewriters, real jobs that pay livable wages.  I hope they don't realize what they have missed.
     And weirdly, I met the mom of a former student.  Of course, I did not remember her name, but I did recognize her.  She and her guy were going to the Cubs game also, so we went together.  When I realized we were going to be walking and talking, I told her I remember her, but forgot her name.  It was Pam.  And we talked about her yongin's, who are in college, out of college, and no longer little kids.
     The trip back was almost a disaster.  I thought the Bears won with a field goal in OT.  So when I sat across from 3 big Bears fans.....and I mean big, not only decked out in all Bear gear, but physically looking like they had eaten one or two cows,  I smiled and said, "Nice game, huh?  I bet you are glad he hit that field goal."  They looked at me like I was loony.  Then the one guy said they would have to start a new winning streak at the next home game.
     "Wait....didn't the Bears win on a Gould field goal?" I asked.  They said no....which made me sad but I think they were happy that I wasn't just some anti Bear nut who was going to taunt them all the way to Winfield.
   As the train cleared out, I turned sideways and was looking out the window when a guy with two bags said to move.
     I said I'm sorry, and moved.
     He said, "You don't have to be sorry. Didn't ask you to be sorry.  Should have called the police.  My bags sit better in a seat.  Hope the spring is strong."
     He didn't shut up until getting off.....and nothing, I repeat, nothing he said made any sense to me or the other people on board.  Just like this blog, sometimes.
     I think everyone was glad he didn't have some kind of weapon....he was a little bit on the far side of normal.
    All in all it was a good day....nice weather, being with my two buds at a Cubs game, sitting at Wrigley Field.......sigh.  Too bad the game was played, that sort of ruined the atmosphere.
     I guess I'll have to wait until next year to repeat the experience.

The sounds of silence

I have ringing in my ears

      I believe it is technically called tinnitus.  I have had it for years.  There is no apparent cure, and some medications seem to aggravate it.
      This is how I live.
      You hear the cicadas this fall?  I have two of them in my head.  Different pitches.  Different songs.
     But they chirp constantly, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
      Listening to the TV or the radio means I have to have the volume up a little, because I need to hear it over the chirps.
      There is also a ringing.  Sometimes I will look at Jackie and say, "I'll get the phone."  She'll tell me it isn't ringing.
      She likes to listen to Friends (the TV show, not people we know and do fun stuff with) at night when she goes to bed.  I like the show too, but for a different reason.  When it is on, I can't hear the buzzing.  When it is off, I can't get to sleep.
      I have thought about a white noise machine, and maybe it is time to buy one. I have also thought about going to a clinic that specializes in teaching strategies that train your brain to ignore the noise.
      Hell, I can't train it to remember to put the new sticker on the Honda's license plate, which is fairly important since my sticker expired at the end of August.  I did actually know where it was, which is a surprise.
      Besides, the clinics are fairly expensive and not covered by insurance.
      So maybe that explains why for what seemed like forever I tried to find the tapping noise that kept me awake.  It sounds like Morse Code, like I am getting a message from someone.
      I checked everywhere, but it seemed to always be the same level of sound.
      So I put my hands over my ears and, Bingo!!  The tapping is inside my head.
      Now maybe it is temporary because I have a head cold.  I hope.
      Otherwise, I am going to have to figure our Morse Code so I know what I am saying to myself.
      I just wonder if this will eventually drive me off the deep end.
      I don't seem to have much of a rope left that is anchoring me to reality!

baby it's cold inside

I am a certifiable idiot

     I use to get so frustrated when a student would just not get it.  I could show it to them, walk them through it, write it down, and they would look at me like I was speaking French.
     Which, to be fair, is possible.  I do speak some French.  I am fluent in ordering red wine, which is important.  But I discovered the people in France don't speak the same French I speak.  It must be my Midwestern twang.  Like all good students gone bad, I blame it on my teacher.
     Now I know how it feels.
     We are destined to have air conditioning year round.  Or heat set at an intolerable level.
     Why?
     Because we have a programmable thermostat.
     Emily got it, installed it, has programmed it and has shown us how to program it four (4) times.
     I am embarrassed to call her again.
     I swear, I listened.  I watched.  I may have even written it all down....but for the life of me we can't seem to go from AC to heat and change temperatures.  I can shut it off, but we eventually will want heat.
     The thermostat is not the only issue.  We have a water softener that is only right half the year.  It goes off at 3 a.m. unless it is Daylight Savings Time, then it goes off at 2 a.m......or 4 a.m.....i am not sure.  But when we switch back, it is almost correct.  Almost.  If the power goes off, so does the timer.
     Throw in the on demand water heater with the programmable "at rest" feature and you have a house in constant electronic timer disarray.  The "at rest" feature means the unit does not heat water.    We generally have it at rest from midnight to 6 a.m.
But when I adjusted it, it was at rest from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. then kicked on for about 45 minutes before going back to rest until 6:30.
     Thank heavens the annual cleaning included a resetting of the timer.
     And don't get me started with outdoor lights for Christmas.....which we will be putting up next week to take advantage of the nice weather.  I can set all timers to the same on and off time and they usually go on or off within 30 minutes of each other.
     I  just don't get it.
     So Sarah, I apologize.  I know you don't read this, but I still apologize.  You told me you didn't get it, and I couldn't understand that.
     Now I do.
     Sometimes it isn't that simple.

who was I?

I am learning more about me every day

     Lately I have realized I know nothing.
     Seriously.  Nothing.
     I have been reminded lately of a couple of things that happened right after or around high school.
     Big things.
     Major things.
     I don't remember them.  At all.  Even when given prompts, I have no recollection of a wedding, or military service, or child's birth, or band.
     It's like the current me did not exist back then.  I was there, but I did not exist.
     Sure, it was 50 years ago or so, but I remember events, like prom, homecoming, graduation.... well, now that I think of it, I don't remember graduation.  I remember practicing for it.  A girl I went to school with four four years actually asked what my name was, and then she asked if I thought she had a hickey on her neck.  I remember going to school the day after graduation and just standing there, looking at the building and wondering what I should do now.
    I know the human brain can only contain x number of pieces of information, be it names, memories, songs, whatever.  By my x number seems to be low.  Very low.  Lower than my T level.
But I also wonder, was I just a jerk?  Wasn't I paying attention to what was going on in the lives of people around me?
     Am I still that way?  And if I am, why hasn't someone told me?
     And even scarier.....what else have I forgotten or missed?
      Sometimes the past is just a blur.  And the future isn't very clear either.

show me the way to go home

I don't like driving to a Cubs game

     I like taking the train.  No tolls, no gas money, no traffic worries and I get to ride for half price because I am an old fart, duly registered and licensed.
     But I drove tonight.  Or last night, now.  I won tickets from Rochelle Insurance Agency and headed for the yard to watch the Cubs sweep the Brewers.
     I figured it would be a late night, so I stopped at the oasis on 88 and got a caramel frappuccino for the road.  I planned not to drink it until I hit 47, because there are not a lot of rest stops.  Us older guys sometimes need to go more often.
     I forgot what rush hour was like.
     After creeping along on the expressway into Chicago, I took the Western Avenue exit because it is a clear shot to John and Kathy's house.
     Little did I realize creeping on the expressway was Usain Bolt speed compared to driving on Western.  The pressure started to mount.  I don't mean the pressure of actually being on time, but the pressure of a large caramel frappuccino.
     I swear, there was one intersection that took three light cycles for me to get through!  I tried to drive standing up, but that did not seem to help.
     Finally I saw a public restroom....I mean, McDonald's.... and pulled in.  This was one where they had a code to get into the bathroom because it was posted customers only.
     So I bought a coffee.
     Granted, that is not the best choice for a drink at 5:30.....which is why it is almost 1 a.m. and I am wide awake and ready to go mow the yard.  Might also explain my headache.
     And you women don't realize how lucky you have it.
     The men's bathrooms at Wrigley have long stainless steel troughs.  It's line up and let go.
     I never know what to do with the guy on the other side of the wall, who is looking at me with a completely blank stare.  Do we say hello?  Talk about the game?  Look up at the ceiling?
     I opted to look at the ceiling.....you never get in trouble for looking at the ceiling.
     The trip home was much easier.
     Except for the elephants and gorillas walking along the road between 47 and Rochelle.
     Every bush, every sign, seemed to have arms, legs and a trunk or two.
     And I didn't have to make a pit stop anywhere.....I was good to not go.
     But watching a Cub win made it all very worthwhile.
     Now I have to decide how I'm getting there Sunday......

back in the saddle again

I rode my bike today

     I know:  Big whoop ti do! People ride bikes every day.
     Well, I fell off my bike July 7.  And I have not been on since.
     I admit, there was a little fear.  But mainly I hurt.  My hip hurt,  My shoulder hurt.  My feelings hurt.
     But today I dragged the old bicycle into town and rode part of the bike path.  I only did 7 miles, because I thought we were going someplace at 2:15.....but we ended up not going, so I could have done more.
     I love riding.  I love the feel of the wind on my face.  I love being able to push my muscle when it doesn't want to be pushed.
     Yes, muscle.  As in one.  I think that is all I have left.  One muscle.  It isn't very big.  It isn't very strong.  Sometimes I am surprised I can even walk; I am like a huge gelatinous jelly fish.
     I see people riding all the time.  I know they are going farther than 7 miles.  But that is all I did today.
     My goal last June was to start riding my bike into town once a week for coffee.  That didn't happen.  I still have a few weeks of bike riding time left, so maybe I can build up to that.
     I have to admit, my shoulder is still sore.  Sometimes it hurts a lot, keeping me awake and just making me uncomfortable.  When I was done with my short tide, it just plain hurt.
    Hopefully physical therapy will help.  Maybe I need some mental therapy too.
     I had an idea when riding:  WORD.  That could be the answer to my physical fitness lethargy.  Walk or Ride Daily...WORD.
     Each week I should be able to spell WORD.  When I complete a walk around the block, or a ride of 8 miles or more, I get a letter.  When I spell Word, I get a special treat as a reward.
     So I started thinking of rewards:
          Coffee......never mind, I have that often, so that won't work.
          Foreign travel.....ooops, already booked for Switzerland.
          A Cubs game......naw, going tomorrow and Sunday.
         A candy bar....defeats the idea of walking or riding to lose weight.
         An afternoon of relaxation....hell, I am retired.  Every afternoon is one of relaxation.
         Dinner with a super model.....Jackie would never go for that.
     Geez...I am stuck for a motivator.
     If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

quit bugging me!

I seem to have an issue with small animals

     Every time I go to brush my teeth, or wash my hands, I find two or three little bugs on my side of the sink.  They seem to be hard crusted and a little smaller than an ant.  I have not seen them fly, but they may.
     I don't think they are water fleas.  Or sink bugs.  (Pretty good play on words, huh?  Stink bugs....sink bugs.....LOL) I usually crush them then wash them down the sink.  I assume I have crushed them enough that it is not the same few bugs coming up from the drain....but you know what happens when you assume!
    Anyway, they are beginning to bug me big time!
     Speaking of being annoyed....I was doing my volunteer thing today and had a cute little guinea pig named Pez out.  I always keep them on a towel although I have seen people just hold them in their laps.  But I prefer my pig on a blanket.  (Actually, I prefer pigs in a blanket....now I am hungry.)
     Anyway, I had her out for my last 30 minutes.  I had just rearranged the blanket and had some young girls petting Pez when I felt a warm sensation running down my leg.
     Now I know when you reach a certain age, there is a risk of leakage.....but that is not my problem.
     Little Pez pizzed through two layers of towel.
     When I stood up, I had a wet spot, rather large, I might add; in an area where it seems highly inappropriate to have a wet spot.  (Insert your own comment here.)
     Those little buggers can really have full bladders!
     I  tried to sneak out, but when it is 85 and sunny it is hard to hide a spot like that.
(Insert your own comment here).
     And since leakage and wet spots seem to be a theme here, I would like to issue a warning.  If you use a WaterPik, do not sneeze when operating!
     I did last night and dropped the Pik when it was on and shot myself, the mirror, the wall and part of the floor with a stream of water.
     What's this?
     An ant just walked across my desk.  Sun of a gun.  Guess it is time to clean the desk!  Hope that doesn't mean I have a computer bug.
(Don't insert your own comment here)