My lips are killing me
Let me explain.
I always carry some lip balm with me. I have one in the car. I have one next to my bed. I have two on the kitchen counter. I have two in my crap drawer in the bathroom. I always carry a lip balm with me.
Unless I don't.
Today was my zoo day. It was also cardiac rehab day. The good folks at RCH said I could come at 7 a.m. to do my rehab activities.
Working backward, (which is a proven mathematical concept in solving problems) I decided I needed to get up at 6 a.m.
As I drove to the hospital, I noticed little groups of protesters on the some of the street corners. They all were wearing backpacks. What else would they be doing out at 7 a.m. except causing trouble? I digress.
After rehab, I got in the car. I forgot to grab a lib balm from the dresser/table/kitchen counter/crap drawer, so I looked for the one I always keep in the car.
Not there.
No problem. I probably won't need one.
By the time I got to the DeKalb oasis my lips were killing me. (So was my tongue, because I bought a hot tea at a fast food place and it was very hot! In fact, it was still hot in DeKalb!)
No problem. I will just stop and get a lip balm.
As I turn off Ogden Avenue to go to the zoo, I pass a national chain store that is not a Walgreen's. So I stopped.
I figured run in, buy one lip balm, get to the zoo on time.
The first thing I notice is that there is one of three registers open in front. And that is staffed by a woman who must have been 126 years old. When she started talking about Woodrow Wilson being a great man, I knew this was going to take a while.
Then the phone rang.
So, after ringing up a couple of items for the woman in front of me, she answered the phone. That took a minute or two.
Then she returned to checking out the lady in front of me.
I get bored. I admit it. So sometimes I count. She checked out 17 items. Every 6 items got a new bag, double bagged. She told the customer "I hope this is not too heavy." I think there were two tissues and four candy bars in the bag.
There were still a lot of items to go because the customer had a huge cart.
And the phone rang. Again.
She returned to bagging and I thought I was going to be home free when she picked up an item in a security box.
The item has to be removed from the box so the alarm doesn't go off. She began to remove the item.
One one thousand....two one thousand....12 one thousand.....20 one thousand...
Finally, Bingo, item out!
Customer quietly says, "I'm sorry, that's not the one I want. It's the one next to it."
Void current sale, pick up new item.
Open box.
One one thousand, two one thousand, 20 one thousand....
At that point I looked at the 15 or so items left on the counter and said the heck with it. I can do without lip balm for a few hours.
I have now loaded them with balm. They hurt like hell.
I guarantee you, I will put a balm back in the car as soon as I remember to do so. That way, my lips will never hurt and I'll be fine.
And yes, I was late to the zoo.
And yes part 2: I realize that as we age we don't move as fast as we used to. I don't. But wouldn't you think management would take that into account and offer some plan for helping her when a big order comes through or when multiple customers are waiting in line?
Oh well........some day, the good lord willing, I will be that person behind the counter.
And I will have lip balm.
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