what the hell......

Sometimes things are just NOT my fault

     I just can't figure out whose fault it is.
     For instance, wifey could be blamed because she likes 1 per cent milk.
     Local stores can be blamed because they don't seem to stock Dean's 1 per cent.
     Yes, a large retail pharmacy chain does carry it..... but there have been times the milk is set to be out of best sell by date within one or two days of purchase.  We take about a week, if not more, to go through a half gallon.  We are not big milk drinkers.
    So we were out of milk this morning.  We had a trip to DeKalb to get a present.  I said we could stop at that fairly new supermarket out on Sycamore Road and get one half gallon of milk.
     I went into the store and as an impulsive mood hit me, I picked up a bottle of red wine, a kind Eric used to sell at The Rouge.
     Renee becomes part of the problem by sharing a link that talked about Parmesan cheese being supplemented with a cellulose product used to prevent clotting.  We like the stuff in the green plastic container, which has 7.8 percent cellulose.  This cellulose is in the form of wood fiber.  In other words, sawdust.  My favorite cheese has sawdust in it.  Until reading that article, I was happy in my ignorance.    Jewel recently pulled a product off the market because it has something like 11 per cent sawdust.
     I picked up some medium cheddar cheese.  This is because every time I go to the store and Jackie asks for cheese she specifies medium.  And then I go and buy mild.  I figured as long as it was on my mind, buy the medium.
    Then I realized I was almost out of my new love it cheese Havarti, so I picked up a small pack of that.
    That's when I noticed the hard chunks of Parmesan.  I decided then and there I was not going to eat all that sawdust, so I picked up a chuck of Italian Parmesan cheese.
     I went to the express lane and laid down my bottle of wine, Havarti cheese, medium cheddar, one half gallon of milk and my chunk of Parmesan.  My bill was $32.
     I figured I misread the wine, it must have been more than I read.  I do that often.
     As I was walking out to the car I looked at my receipt.
             wine.....$10;  milk.....$2.25      medium cheddar....... $2.50     Havarti.... $5
                         Parmesan....$14.89

     What the hell???
     I bought cheese that was $18 a pound!!!
     I didn't want to buy New York Strips because they were $16, but I bought a cheese that was $18.  A pound!!
     I started laughing.  Almost uncontrollable laughter.  People were looking at me as I walked out of the store.
      When I got to the car Jackie asked me what was so funny and how come I spent so much money (she gets notified on her cell phone whenever we use our debit card) when I just went in for milk?
     So I just gave her the receipt and said, "Read it."
     I won't use her exact wording, but it was something along the line of "Holy excrement! Was your gray matter engaged at all in a cognitive process?"
     At that point I could have taken it back and pleaded insanity or stupidity.
     But I didn't.
     Who knows, maybe it will give me a greater appreciation for the $3 stuff in a can.