I got to thinking about the weather tonight
Boy is it going to be cold.
How cold is it?
Well, it is so cold......
I saw two icicles jump into a snowbank.
I saw a tree adding an extra layer of bark.
It's a three dog night in bed.
I went outside to spit into the wind and a chunk of hail hit me in the forehead.
Donald Trump changed his stance on climate change.
Ted Cruz decided to go back to Canada, his homeland, to warm up.
4.879 snowbirds in Florida just put their Illinois homes on the market.
Rauner and Madigan look like friends.
I saw two sun dogs today, and they are trying to get into my garage for the night.
My sidewalk rolled up by itself.
My fart froze in mid air.
I put pants on when I went to get the mail.
I saw two teenagers wearing jackets.
I saw a guy put his tongue on a pole to see if it would freeze. Stanislas punched him in the face.
Hell, MI, froze over.
Mr. T changed his name to Mr I'm Wearing As Much as I can and I Pity the Fool.
Four drivers had their heads cryogenically preserved while ordering at a Starbucks drive thru.
Instead of frying an egg on the sidewalk, I put out glasses of water and made ice cubes.
That's all I got.
Feel free to add your own...which have to be funnier than these!
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