pyramid style, please

I used to be a journalist

     I took writing, reporting and editing classes at NIU.  I graduated with a journalism degree.  I worked at a newspaper.  I used to be a journalist.
     So when I hear bad journalism, I cringe.
     I heard some bad journalism today while sealing my three chairs, round table and leaky storage box for the patio.
     It was from a radio station in the Quad Cities....for some reason it came in strong on my little work radio and they played oldies, two pluses.
     But the news???  Drove me nuts.
     The first story was about firemen responding to a report of smoke in a house at some address.  By the time the firemen got there, the flames had self extinguished.  The person in the house was removed by neighbors.  Blah, Blah, Blah.....then the stunner.  The person removed from the house was pronounced dead at the scene!  Folks, that is the lead!!  Man/Woman found dead in house fire.
     Then you tell the incidental facts.
     They had a second story about state police making a traffic stop...blah blah blah...and then the stunner:  The guy was arrested on drug charges cause he had a boat load of drugs!  That is the lead!!
It's almost like people working in the news department don't get the concept of a lead and then reporting in pyramid style, important facts at the top:  who, what, when, where, why.
     And why are people arrested on traffic stops "pursuant to an investigation'?  Do the officers really get out there with fingerprint kits and magnifying glasses looking for clues?  Or do they just ask the guy for a license and when he doesn't have one, charge him?
     Why do reporters always ask, "Were you surprised/"
     Some guy in Rockford 20 years ago beat his wife and kids to death with a hammer.  The reporter asked his neighbor, "Were you surprised/"
     What the hell!  He better had been surprised!
     I would have said, "Why no, we had him going nuts on Aug. 15, so I won the block pool."
      My all time favorite was one in a newspaper that read:  "Man shot 7 times in head and lives."
     The first line in the story was:  "Robert Handsome was found dead with 8 bullet wounds to the head."  So it was the last one that did the job.
     I guess if they had stopped after 7, old Robert would have been ok.
     Peace, love and applesauce.