falling backward

Today seems to be a retro day

     I have spent the last hour searching You Tube.  I have watched John Denver and Mama Cass sing Leaving on a Jet Plane, Jefferson Airplane with Grace Slick doing White Rabbit, Janis doing Me and Bobby McGee and Piece of My Heart.  The Mama and Papas singing Creque Alley.  Georg Harrison performing While My Guitar Gently Weeps with help from Eric Clapton.
     I guess I miss those days tonight. 
     I visited a friend who is in hospice care.  I don't know if they knew I was there or not, but I like to think they did.
     This person has been ill for more than a year and I have never gone to visit.  Driven past their house.  Rode my bike past their house.  But never stopped.
     I am embarrassed.
     Granted, they are not a close personal friend, but someone I worked with for 11 years after coming to Rochelle.  We always enjoyed talking baseball and especially the Cubs. 
     So I went to visit today.  I told them who I was.  And I apologized for not coming sooner.  I talked about the Cubs and the fact we got to see a World Series win in our lifetime.  I talked about how we used to work together and I thanked them for  all the times I got some  space for a late story, or extra help in laying out a page.
     I wished them a peaceful journey and thanked them for their friendship.
     Then I ran out of things to say, so I left.
     Sometimes I hope to find some comfort in the music....the memories....the words.  It all brings me back to a time when the future seemed endless.
     I would trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday......freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose......with every mistake, we must surely be learning...when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom.......
     I did not find any words of wisdom tonight.  Just memories.
Peace and Love