I have a hard time with resolutions
I usually don't keep them. This little blog is actually a resolution from 2014, a resolution that I managed to keep.
But I fail 99.9 per cent of the time.
I don't eat healthy.
I have not sent a book to a publisher.
My desk has not been kept clean.
I still don't have patience.
None of my pictures are in books since 2011.
I have yet to ride 500 miles in a summer.
The basement and garage are still a mess.
I don't exercise regularly.
All of those have been resolutions at one point or another. And I have not kept them.
So....here goes for 2018.
I resolve to wake up every morning. If for some reason I break this resolution, be sure Jackie follows the plan.
I resolve to complain about people: the ones who don't signal when turning, ride their ATVs and snowmobiles on private property or on park land, speeders, people who litter, drivers who don't use turn lanes, motorists texting or driving distracted, Cardinal and Packer fans.
There are others, but I don't have enough space to list them all.
I resolve to stay active by volunteering someplace and doing things with other people. Like, drinking wine, or something similar.
I resolve to keep drinking expensive, hoity-toity coffees.
I resolve to not age gracefully, but to go kicking and screaming into my 70s.
I resolve to continue to make lists and then lose them or ignore them, depending on the situation.
There. I set some resolutions.
I hope you all have a healthy and happy 2018.
Peace and happiness be with you all.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Oh No, Mr. Bill!!!!!
We had an unfortunate incident in the house today
One of the Dickens' Village people (can't say that without thinking sailor, Native American, laborer.....) attempted suicide.
He leaped from the second story.
Jackie and I were in the kitchen when the incident occurred. We heard his tiny porcelain body hit the ground.
We found his body intact, and although the lantern he was carrying was fine, the staff on which it hung is broken.
The witnesses to this attempt have taken a vow of silence. The man and woman in the carriage following him have not spoken about the incident. Perhaps a word or two from them was the cause for this unfortunate incident.
The lad's job was to walk in front of the carriage with the lantern, lighting the way through the foggy London night. Maybe he led them into a hole, or over a bump, causing some words of anger.
No one is talking.
We are keeping him away from the ledge tonight and moved him to a location where we can better keep an eye on him.
He will have to find a new job, however, as he can no longer light the way.
If he had asked, I would have given him the following advice:
Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
bum bum bum bum bum
One of the Dickens' Village people (can't say that without thinking sailor, Native American, laborer.....) attempted suicide.
He leaped from the second story.
Jackie and I were in the kitchen when the incident occurred. We heard his tiny porcelain body hit the ground.
We found his body intact, and although the lantern he was carrying was fine, the staff on which it hung is broken.
The witnesses to this attempt have taken a vow of silence. The man and woman in the carriage following him have not spoken about the incident. Perhaps a word or two from them was the cause for this unfortunate incident.
The lad's job was to walk in front of the carriage with the lantern, lighting the way through the foggy London night. Maybe he led them into a hole, or over a bump, causing some words of anger.
No one is talking.
We are keeping him away from the ledge tonight and moved him to a location where we can better keep an eye on him.
He will have to find a new job, however, as he can no longer light the way.
If he had asked, I would have given him the following advice:
Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
bum bum bum bum bum
Friday, December 29, 2017
time has changed me
I don't seem to be adventurous anymore
Today was a zoo day. But I opted not to go because the forecast called for cold and up to 4 inches of snow.
I did not want to be on the tollway, in the middle of nowhere, with blowing snow and cold temps in a possibly disabled car......so I called and said I was not going.
20 years ago I would have made the trip.
I once was younger and a little more daring.
There are other signs of aging creating a more cautious me.
I always wear a bike helmet when riding.
I don't do any repair involving electricity.
I sniff the outdated milk before drinking it.
I make sure the garage door is up before starting my car.
I look both ways pulling out of the driveway.
I cross with the walk signal and at a corner, usually.
I wash sharp knives separate from the other dishes so I don't have to put them in the water with other stuff. I often forget they are there and darn near stab myself when I feel around the bottom of the soapy water.
I don't take candy from strangers, unless they are Russian females looking for information on how to vote in our elections.
I read directions on medications.
I avoid large crowds, unless it is the Christmas market in Chicago or a baseball game or any other event that is a fun thing to attend.
I don't know if all of the changes are worth it.....am I still me? And if not, who am I?
Time will tell. Maybe.
Today was a zoo day. But I opted not to go because the forecast called for cold and up to 4 inches of snow.
I did not want to be on the tollway, in the middle of nowhere, with blowing snow and cold temps in a possibly disabled car......so I called and said I was not going.
20 years ago I would have made the trip.
I once was younger and a little more daring.
There are other signs of aging creating a more cautious me.
I always wear a bike helmet when riding.
I don't do any repair involving electricity.
I sniff the outdated milk before drinking it.
I make sure the garage door is up before starting my car.
I look both ways pulling out of the driveway.
I cross with the walk signal and at a corner, usually.
I wash sharp knives separate from the other dishes so I don't have to put them in the water with other stuff. I often forget they are there and darn near stab myself when I feel around the bottom of the soapy water.
I don't take candy from strangers, unless they are Russian females looking for information on how to vote in our elections.
I read directions on medications.
I avoid large crowds, unless it is the Christmas market in Chicago or a baseball game or any other event that is a fun thing to attend.
I don't know if all of the changes are worth it.....am I still me? And if not, who am I?
Time will tell. Maybe.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
a winter's eve
I just finished shoveling the walk and driveway
It may be only 9 degrees, but it was beautiful out there!
Not a lot of cars, so the roads were fairly quiet.
Not much noise at all, just the sound of my shovel, and a neighbor's, scraping the pavement.
When I was growing up in Chicago, we lived in an apartment building for my first 12 years. I loved hearing the sound of the shovels as they cleared the walks. Tonight, hearing my neighbor's rhythmic beat as he shoveled brought me back to being a little boy, snug in bed, hearing the world start to come alive.
Julia asked me why I was shoveling, Jackie wondered about my sanity, and I am sure there may have been a neighbor not exactly thrilled with my metal on concrete chorus at 9:30. My only answer is: I felt like it.
That's it. I felt like shoveling.
I took frequent breaks to catch snowflakes on my tongue and listen to the quiet. Part of me wanted to make a batch of hot chocolate and go across the street to the park for a stroll through the woods. But I didn't this night. Maybe when the moon is bright I will.
I even thought about making a snow angel.......but I didn't. Now, snug and warm in the house, I wish I had.
Funny thing is, I didn't feel cold. And I don't feel tired. And most importantly for a guy my age, my chest doesn't hurt.
Don't curse the snow, embrace it. At least I say that now. My story might be different in late January.
It may be only 9 degrees, but it was beautiful out there!
Not a lot of cars, so the roads were fairly quiet.
Not much noise at all, just the sound of my shovel, and a neighbor's, scraping the pavement.
When I was growing up in Chicago, we lived in an apartment building for my first 12 years. I loved hearing the sound of the shovels as they cleared the walks. Tonight, hearing my neighbor's rhythmic beat as he shoveled brought me back to being a little boy, snug in bed, hearing the world start to come alive.
Julia asked me why I was shoveling, Jackie wondered about my sanity, and I am sure there may have been a neighbor not exactly thrilled with my metal on concrete chorus at 9:30. My only answer is: I felt like it.
That's it. I felt like shoveling.
I took frequent breaks to catch snowflakes on my tongue and listen to the quiet. Part of me wanted to make a batch of hot chocolate and go across the street to the park for a stroll through the woods. But I didn't this night. Maybe when the moon is bright I will.
I even thought about making a snow angel.......but I didn't. Now, snug and warm in the house, I wish I had.
Funny thing is, I didn't feel cold. And I don't feel tired. And most importantly for a guy my age, my chest doesn't hurt.
Don't curse the snow, embrace it. At least I say that now. My story might be different in late January.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
warm heart, cold fingers
The mind is a terrible thing to lose
And so are my Eddie Bauer gloves when the temperature is somewhere between cold and colder than hell.
I ventured out to buy one item and then see The Greatest Showman. (Non spoiler alert: Great movie!! People in the audience applauded at the end! Even the two people near me who talked the entire time clapped.....once they talked about it.)
Yesterday I went but the show was sold out. Today I bought a ticket on line and there were probably 20 people in the audience. Go figure.
Before the 4:15 showing, which actually began at 4:30 because of previews, I stopped at Target for one thing.
At the end of the movie (1 hr. 45 min running time and I did not have to pee at all during it. Thank you prostate.) I put on my coat, hat and....no gloves. I figured I left them in the car. So I walked out and checked. No gloves in the car. Maybe they fell on the floor in the theater, so back in I go, but no gloves. I asked at the desk, thinking I may have left them there when I stopped to get my e-ticket scanned. Nope.
So I went back to Target. Not at the service desk. Not in the area where I looked for an item. I thought maybe I had laid them down on the shelf as I was browsing. Nope.
Looked in the area where I parked. Nope.
Drove home with cold hands. What kind of person loses gloves when the temp is below zero?
Picked up a pizza, bought raspberries and Gluhwein, headed home and hung up my coat.
There they were. Right where I left them
What kind of person loses gloves when the temp is below zero? The same kind who doesn't wear them to start with.
But all is well that ends well. Good movie. Good pizza. Good raspberries. And good gloves for when I have to clear the driveway tomorrow.
With that, Good Night.
And so are my Eddie Bauer gloves when the temperature is somewhere between cold and colder than hell.
I ventured out to buy one item and then see The Greatest Showman. (Non spoiler alert: Great movie!! People in the audience applauded at the end! Even the two people near me who talked the entire time clapped.....once they talked about it.)
Yesterday I went but the show was sold out. Today I bought a ticket on line and there were probably 20 people in the audience. Go figure.
Before the 4:15 showing, which actually began at 4:30 because of previews, I stopped at Target for one thing.
At the end of the movie (1 hr. 45 min running time and I did not have to pee at all during it. Thank you prostate.) I put on my coat, hat and....no gloves. I figured I left them in the car. So I walked out and checked. No gloves in the car. Maybe they fell on the floor in the theater, so back in I go, but no gloves. I asked at the desk, thinking I may have left them there when I stopped to get my e-ticket scanned. Nope.
So I went back to Target. Not at the service desk. Not in the area where I looked for an item. I thought maybe I had laid them down on the shelf as I was browsing. Nope.
Looked in the area where I parked. Nope.
Drove home with cold hands. What kind of person loses gloves when the temp is below zero?
Picked up a pizza, bought raspberries and Gluhwein, headed home and hung up my coat.
There they were. Right where I left them
What kind of person loses gloves when the temp is below zero? The same kind who doesn't wear them to start with.
But all is well that ends well. Good movie. Good pizza. Good raspberries. And good gloves for when I have to clear the driveway tomorrow.
With that, Good Night.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
didn't think of that
I decided to go see a movie today
The Greatest Showman looked pretty good, so I opted to go to the 4:15 showing in DeKalb.
Now I am a member of the Stubs Premiere thing at AMC theaters. I can buy tickets in advance, get discounts on refreshments and shows. I can reserve a seat for a movie. All by clicking on the website.
I checked out the movie at about 3 and saw there were 8 seats sold. 8. Plenty of seats. No need to reserve a spot.
When I pulled into the parking lot at 4:15, I knew I was in trouble. The lot was packed. And people were filing into the theater.
I walked in right behind a woman and we got in line, something else I would not have to do if I reserved a seat.
Suddenly the attendant yelled out, "There are no seats for The Greatest Showman. It is sold out." Then he listed two or three other shows, all with the same message.
I said to the lady in front of me, "Did he say The Greatest Showman was sold out? Seriously?" She said yes, and the guy repeated it for the benefit of those arriving after me.
So, I didn't get to go tonight.
I learned a lesson. Reserve a seat. Take advantage of the program you are in for the next year.
Now, about tomorrow........
The Greatest Showman looked pretty good, so I opted to go to the 4:15 showing in DeKalb.
Now I am a member of the Stubs Premiere thing at AMC theaters. I can buy tickets in advance, get discounts on refreshments and shows. I can reserve a seat for a movie. All by clicking on the website.
I checked out the movie at about 3 and saw there were 8 seats sold. 8. Plenty of seats. No need to reserve a spot.
When I pulled into the parking lot at 4:15, I knew I was in trouble. The lot was packed. And people were filing into the theater.
I walked in right behind a woman and we got in line, something else I would not have to do if I reserved a seat.
Suddenly the attendant yelled out, "There are no seats for The Greatest Showman. It is sold out." Then he listed two or three other shows, all with the same message.
I said to the lady in front of me, "Did he say The Greatest Showman was sold out? Seriously?" She said yes, and the guy repeated it for the benefit of those arriving after me.
So, I didn't get to go tonight.
I learned a lesson. Reserve a seat. Take advantage of the program you are in for the next year.
Now, about tomorrow........
Monday, December 25, 2017
in the still of the night
It seems awfully quiet right now
Everybody is gone, Julia and Jackie are in bed, the presents unwrapped, the food consumed, the cleanup almost finished.
Of course, Corki is out like a light and snoring to beat the band. She had a busy day begging for food and attempting her ever unpopular leg hump routine.
I am going to just sit back for a few minutes and look at the tree and recapture the day.
There were presents galore, including a neat tool for cutting the foil wrappers on bottles of wine. Julia gave that to me and after clean up, with all the paper and boxes picked up and bagged up......noticed the blade for the device was not in the cutter and must still be in the box.
So.....tomorrow I sort through the Christmas debris, looking for the box.
Do you recycle wrapping paper? I try, but it is not easy.
I'm going to tell you what the best gift I had today was....and it's not easy picking out one present.
But I can.
It was having my daughters home and my family together.
Julia, Emily, John, Camryn and of course us...... and it was nice, very nice.
Everything else was icing on the cake. Cake, by the way, was the only food group we missed having.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday, a great day with family and friends.
And to all a good night.
Everybody is gone, Julia and Jackie are in bed, the presents unwrapped, the food consumed, the cleanup almost finished.
Of course, Corki is out like a light and snoring to beat the band. She had a busy day begging for food and attempting her ever unpopular leg hump routine.
I am going to just sit back for a few minutes and look at the tree and recapture the day.
There were presents galore, including a neat tool for cutting the foil wrappers on bottles of wine. Julia gave that to me and after clean up, with all the paper and boxes picked up and bagged up......noticed the blade for the device was not in the cutter and must still be in the box.
So.....tomorrow I sort through the Christmas debris, looking for the box.
Do you recycle wrapping paper? I try, but it is not easy.
I'm going to tell you what the best gift I had today was....and it's not easy picking out one present.
But I can.
It was having my daughters home and my family together.
Julia, Emily, John, Camryn and of course us...... and it was nice, very nice.
Everything else was icing on the cake. Cake, by the way, was the only food group we missed having.
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday, a great day with family and friends.
And to all a good night.
Sunday, December 24, 2017
sleep time
I think I am ready for bed
Presents wrapped......check
It's a Wonderful Life.....check
Eggnog and cookies..... check
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.....check
And it's only 1 a.m.
Presents wrapped......check
It's a Wonderful Life.....check
Eggnog and cookies..... check
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.....check
And it's only 1 a.m.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
goooooaaaaaaallllllllll
I went to a hockey game tonight
I watched the Ice Hogs play... and win in overtime!
It was actually an exciting night. I kept watching the people, looking for familiar faces.... like Robert or Carrie or Jen or Amanda...... but didn't see anyone I knew.
My niece and her family went, which is why Julia, Emily, John and I went. So we sat, watched hockey, visited, then went out to eat after wards.
It was great seeing them.....even though they live a couple of hours a way, we don't get together that often.
The only bad thing was Jackie didn't go. We'll have to have another night when they visit at our house.
To be honest, I am not a big hockey fan. I don't like the fights. This game featured a couple of pushing events, but no fights, which made me happy but seemed to cause some disappointment in many of the fans.
But that's another story.
One more day to prepare for Christmas.....I better get to bed so I can get up early and clean, cook the turkey, wrap, shop, go to church, wax the car, paint the bathroom, mow the yard, weed the garden.............
I watched the Ice Hogs play... and win in overtime!
It was actually an exciting night. I kept watching the people, looking for familiar faces.... like Robert or Carrie or Jen or Amanda...... but didn't see anyone I knew.
My niece and her family went, which is why Julia, Emily, John and I went. So we sat, watched hockey, visited, then went out to eat after wards.
It was great seeing them.....even though they live a couple of hours a way, we don't get together that often.
The only bad thing was Jackie didn't go. We'll have to have another night when they visit at our house.
To be honest, I am not a big hockey fan. I don't like the fights. This game featured a couple of pushing events, but no fights, which made me happy but seemed to cause some disappointment in many of the fans.
But that's another story.
One more day to prepare for Christmas.....I better get to bed so I can get up early and clean, cook the turkey, wrap, shop, go to church, wax the car, paint the bathroom, mow the yard, weed the garden.............
Friday, December 22, 2017
becoming unwrapped
I don't like wrapping Christmas presents
There. I said it.
Everybody spends a lot of money on wrapping paper and ribbons only to have gifts ripped asunder in less than 10 minutes Christmas morning. Or whenever you open your presents.
The Grinch in me looks at it as a waste of money and natural resources.
Years ago I would get an end roll from the newspaper and use that to wrap presents. Since it was an end roll and almost white, I could color and decorate the way I felt like doing. And since it was newsprint, it was all recyclable.
I honestly don't know what you do with the paper that has glitter or is aluminum coated. Toss it? Can it be recycled? They won't let me iron it.
I admit when I do wrap a present, the ends may not be evenly matched or the paper exactly straight. No one has ever turned down a present because it was not wrapped precisely and neatly.
Likewise no one has turned one down because there was no bow on it.
As you may imagine, that does cause a little friction in the household during this festive season.
While one of us is carefully cutting, carefully wrapping, and paying attention to the ends to be sure they are even, the other one is saying, "Just wrap the damn thing. No one will notice."
I'll let you guess who is who.
Anyway, after 4 days of nonstop wrapping, we seem to be finished.
Except for me. I have a couple to wrap. I generally wrap after church on Christmas Eve, watching It's a Wonderful Life and having an egg nog or two.
And I know people will be able to pick out my presents come Christmas morn!
There. I said it.
Everybody spends a lot of money on wrapping paper and ribbons only to have gifts ripped asunder in less than 10 minutes Christmas morning. Or whenever you open your presents.
The Grinch in me looks at it as a waste of money and natural resources.
Years ago I would get an end roll from the newspaper and use that to wrap presents. Since it was an end roll and almost white, I could color and decorate the way I felt like doing. And since it was newsprint, it was all recyclable.
I honestly don't know what you do with the paper that has glitter or is aluminum coated. Toss it? Can it be recycled? They won't let me iron it.
I admit when I do wrap a present, the ends may not be evenly matched or the paper exactly straight. No one has ever turned down a present because it was not wrapped precisely and neatly.
Likewise no one has turned one down because there was no bow on it.
As you may imagine, that does cause a little friction in the household during this festive season.
While one of us is carefully cutting, carefully wrapping, and paying attention to the ends to be sure they are even, the other one is saying, "Just wrap the damn thing. No one will notice."
I'll let you guess who is who.
Anyway, after 4 days of nonstop wrapping, we seem to be finished.
Except for me. I have a couple to wrap. I generally wrap after church on Christmas Eve, watching It's a Wonderful Life and having an egg nog or two.
And I know people will be able to pick out my presents come Christmas morn!
 |
| I admit, I do save boxes......and I reuse them, year after year after year. These are some of my favorites. |
 |
| She is not sure why there is a tree in the house. |
Thursday, December 21, 2017
confused, as usual
I was thinking of Jingle Bells again
More to the point, the spelling of sleigh. I can't think of another word that ends in eigh. Eight has a t, so eighth has a th. But you knew that.
I was always taught that when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. So sleigh should sound like slee..... because the e would do the talking.
Neigh. Just thought of that. Horses do it, right? And weigh, so I guess when I think about it, sleigh is not the only one.
But still, why the A sound and not E?
Sometimes when I am in church and we are singing a him, (yes, done on purpose) I see a lot of rhymes and then I see a line ending in come and the next line, which should rhyme, is home. They don't rhyme, although you would think they would because they have the same spelling pattern. Maybe the writers didn't actually read the words out loud.
I think it's a plot to confuse us. A long time ago some monk in a monastery sat down and wrote a bunch of things and then on the day they can talk he convinced people to follow a bunch of nonsensical spelling patterns, like slay and sleigh.
He's probably watching us right now and laughing like crazy because we sometimes use gh, or ph, to spell f when we could just be using f.
And the person who wrote Jingle Bells had to use sleigh instead of sled or sledge.
Think of those lyrics if he hadn't
Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sled
run into the trees, we will all be dead
It rhymes. That's what counts.
And that is all I want to say about that.
More to the point, the spelling of sleigh. I can't think of another word that ends in eigh. Eight has a t, so eighth has a th. But you knew that.
I was always taught that when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. So sleigh should sound like slee..... because the e would do the talking.
Neigh. Just thought of that. Horses do it, right? And weigh, so I guess when I think about it, sleigh is not the only one.
But still, why the A sound and not E?
Sometimes when I am in church and we are singing a him, (yes, done on purpose) I see a lot of rhymes and then I see a line ending in come and the next line, which should rhyme, is home. They don't rhyme, although you would think they would because they have the same spelling pattern. Maybe the writers didn't actually read the words out loud.
I think it's a plot to confuse us. A long time ago some monk in a monastery sat down and wrote a bunch of things and then on the day they can talk he convinced people to follow a bunch of nonsensical spelling patterns, like slay and sleigh.
He's probably watching us right now and laughing like crazy because we sometimes use gh, or ph, to spell f when we could just be using f.
And the person who wrote Jingle Bells had to use sleigh instead of sled or sledge.
Think of those lyrics if he hadn't
Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sled
run into the trees, we will all be dead
It rhymes. That's what counts.
And that is all I want to say about that.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
ho ho ho
I have a theory or two about Frosty
I keep hearing Frosty the Snowman and wonder: when will it be banned?
It violates so many beliefs, it should really be banned from the airwaves.
What beliefs? Glad you asked.
Well, it must have been a magic hat they found and in some religious circles magic is the work of the devil. Is Frosty Satan's spawn? And notice how Santa and Satan have the same letters? Coincidence? I think not.
Frosty is also disrespectful of our laws. He runs into the village cop and does not slow down when the cop hollers stop! And he carries his broomstick as he runs here and there through the village, yelling catch me if you can. Is Frosty part of the Resistance? Does he use the broomstick to smash windows or trip people on bikes? Why are people riding bikes in the winter?
And what about those eyes? Coal? Is Frosty sending a subliminal message that coal has many uses and is good for us?
But the most insidious message is climate change. Frosty knows the world is warming, he tells the kids let's play now before I melt away. I am sure this is planted by liberal pseudo scientists who rely on data collected by so called experts.
And what exactly is Frosty smoking in that corncob pipe? Prince Albert? Mary Jane? Crack?? Just another plot by the tobacco/drug cartels to rope in little, innocent, sweet, wide eyed, impressionable children.
So my friends, I am sure you have the same outrage I do about this blatant attempt to destroy our culture.
You should e-mail your congressman today and tell him Frosty must be stopped!
You will thank me someday.
Tune in tomorrow for my expose on Jingle Bells.
I keep hearing Frosty the Snowman and wonder: when will it be banned?
It violates so many beliefs, it should really be banned from the airwaves.
What beliefs? Glad you asked.
Well, it must have been a magic hat they found and in some religious circles magic is the work of the devil. Is Frosty Satan's spawn? And notice how Santa and Satan have the same letters? Coincidence? I think not.
Frosty is also disrespectful of our laws. He runs into the village cop and does not slow down when the cop hollers stop! And he carries his broomstick as he runs here and there through the village, yelling catch me if you can. Is Frosty part of the Resistance? Does he use the broomstick to smash windows or trip people on bikes? Why are people riding bikes in the winter?
And what about those eyes? Coal? Is Frosty sending a subliminal message that coal has many uses and is good for us?
But the most insidious message is climate change. Frosty knows the world is warming, he tells the kids let's play now before I melt away. I am sure this is planted by liberal pseudo scientists who rely on data collected by so called experts.
And what exactly is Frosty smoking in that corncob pipe? Prince Albert? Mary Jane? Crack?? Just another plot by the tobacco/drug cartels to rope in little, innocent, sweet, wide eyed, impressionable children.
So my friends, I am sure you have the same outrage I do about this blatant attempt to destroy our culture.
You should e-mail your congressman today and tell him Frosty must be stopped!
You will thank me someday.
Tune in tomorrow for my expose on Jingle Bells.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
is that a tear?
I've said it before: I get pretty emotional at Christmas
Usually it's a song that sets me off. Silent Night was my mother's favorite, and I can't help but think of her whenever I hear it. And I love singing the song, because somehow it brings me back in touch with her.
Away in a Manger gets me teary eyed. We used to sing that song in church school, (Georgette, Sandy.....am I wrong about that?) I think about those days of innocence and youth and good health and my brothers and parents and all of a sudden somewhere around "round yon virgin" I have to rub my eyes.
And I get pretty sad during Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
That was a pivotal song by Judy Garland in the movie Meet Me in St. Louis.
The movie came out in 1944, and we were a nation at war. I can imagine families of servicemen, and servicemen themselves, singing the lyrics.
Imagine...you are thousands of miles from home, hunkered down in a bunker, and the words "through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow" are softly sung, or quietly heard on a record player in the distance. If the fates allow.
"until then, we'll have to muddle through some how."
That had to be powerful to the moms and dads with boys in the trenches, or in the jungles of the Pacific Theater, or on the decks of the battleships and aircraft carriers that were targets of enemy bombers.
It wasn't an easy time.
As the song suggested, next year all their troubles were far away. The war in Europe was over by Christmas of 1945, as was the war against Japan. Family friends who were dear to us, will be near to us once more.
As many Christmas songs as I hear, I always wonder when the one recurring phrase will come true:
Peace on Earth, goodwill to man.
I guess until then, we all will have to muddle through some how.
Usually it's a song that sets me off. Silent Night was my mother's favorite, and I can't help but think of her whenever I hear it. And I love singing the song, because somehow it brings me back in touch with her.
Away in a Manger gets me teary eyed. We used to sing that song in church school, (Georgette, Sandy.....am I wrong about that?) I think about those days of innocence and youth and good health and my brothers and parents and all of a sudden somewhere around "round yon virgin" I have to rub my eyes.
And I get pretty sad during Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
That was a pivotal song by Judy Garland in the movie Meet Me in St. Louis.
The movie came out in 1944, and we were a nation at war. I can imagine families of servicemen, and servicemen themselves, singing the lyrics.
Imagine...you are thousands of miles from home, hunkered down in a bunker, and the words "through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow" are softly sung, or quietly heard on a record player in the distance. If the fates allow.
"until then, we'll have to muddle through some how."
That had to be powerful to the moms and dads with boys in the trenches, or in the jungles of the Pacific Theater, or on the decks of the battleships and aircraft carriers that were targets of enemy bombers.
It wasn't an easy time.
As the song suggested, next year all their troubles were far away. The war in Europe was over by Christmas of 1945, as was the war against Japan. Family friends who were dear to us, will be near to us once more.
As many Christmas songs as I hear, I always wonder when the one recurring phrase will come true:
Peace on Earth, goodwill to man.
I guess until then, we all will have to muddle through some how.
Monday, December 18, 2017
would ya look at that
I joined the "one of them" side today
I went straight from a left turn lane. I looked, there was no one on my right, so I went.
Then I got to wondering if I broke the law, because I had a red left turn arrow, but I drove trough on a green. I wanted to turn, but I was at the wrong intersection.
I had to take Jackie's car in for service today. I told the guys I would wait, and walked over to Toys' R Us by the mall in Rockford. It's a short walk. I did not remember the toy store moved about 100 years ago, so I walked to the mall and pretended I was a senior doing some mall walking. Wait a minute....I am a senior. And I was walking in the mall. Hmmmmm.......
But the most embarrassing moment was when I put three bags of groceries into the back end of the car. I got in drove out of the parking lot, made a left turn, then a right turn and when I was at a red light I noticed it was pretty drafty in the car.
I checked the windows, they were up.
Then I looked out my side mirror and noticed my tail gate was up. I drove probably half a mile with the gate up and none of the three bags of groceries fell out.
Since I was at a red light, I got out of the car and closed the gate only to find out I somehow turned the car off. I don't know how I did that, but the light changed before I realized the car was off.. I don't recall anyone honking, but I would have. I restarted it and made it through the light just in time.
You know the Olympics are starting in a few weeks. I was in a store where they had lots of Team USA and Go USA glasses, mugs, dishes and plates. As I always say, nothing says Go USA like glasses made in China. Seriously, every piece of crap was made in China.
My final frustration of the day? I was looking for a doll. (No Doug, not a real one or a blow up one, but the kind a little girl would like.) Aside from Barbie, every doll I saw had some sort of electronic connection, battery powered movement, or some tech application. What happened to Raggedy Ann and Andy?
I was looking for a doll (again, stressing .... not a girl or a blow up) that would make a good companion for a 7 year old, one she could drag around by one arm, or plop in a chair, or sit on, or take to bed.
I looked in five stores and had yet to find one.
So I bought a teddy bear instead.
It's soft, cuddly, and i think it will be a great companion for years to come.
And yes, it was made in China.
I went straight from a left turn lane. I looked, there was no one on my right, so I went.
Then I got to wondering if I broke the law, because I had a red left turn arrow, but I drove trough on a green. I wanted to turn, but I was at the wrong intersection.
I had to take Jackie's car in for service today. I told the guys I would wait, and walked over to Toys' R Us by the mall in Rockford. It's a short walk. I did not remember the toy store moved about 100 years ago, so I walked to the mall and pretended I was a senior doing some mall walking. Wait a minute....I am a senior. And I was walking in the mall. Hmmmmm.......
But the most embarrassing moment was when I put three bags of groceries into the back end of the car. I got in drove out of the parking lot, made a left turn, then a right turn and when I was at a red light I noticed it was pretty drafty in the car.
I checked the windows, they were up.
Then I looked out my side mirror and noticed my tail gate was up. I drove probably half a mile with the gate up and none of the three bags of groceries fell out.
Since I was at a red light, I got out of the car and closed the gate only to find out I somehow turned the car off. I don't know how I did that, but the light changed before I realized the car was off.. I don't recall anyone honking, but I would have. I restarted it and made it through the light just in time.
You know the Olympics are starting in a few weeks. I was in a store where they had lots of Team USA and Go USA glasses, mugs, dishes and plates. As I always say, nothing says Go USA like glasses made in China. Seriously, every piece of crap was made in China.
My final frustration of the day? I was looking for a doll. (No Doug, not a real one or a blow up one, but the kind a little girl would like.) Aside from Barbie, every doll I saw had some sort of electronic connection, battery powered movement, or some tech application. What happened to Raggedy Ann and Andy?
I was looking for a doll (again, stressing .... not a girl or a blow up) that would make a good companion for a 7 year old, one she could drag around by one arm, or plop in a chair, or sit on, or take to bed.
I looked in five stores and had yet to find one.
So I bought a teddy bear instead.
It's soft, cuddly, and i think it will be a great companion for years to come.
And yes, it was made in China.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Sunday, Sunday
It was a pretty quiet day today
I finished putting up the downstairs tree and then I vacuumed up all the plastic fir parts that fell onto the floor. The artificial tree sheds more than the real tree.
I also wondered if I could afford the payments on a condo in Chicago. It was $2.4 million but had great views of the lake. I decided I probably could not, unless I turned in all my change for cash.
I put my change in jars in the closet. I have a tea can, a mason jar, a jelly jar, and maybe a pickle jar, all filled with change. There must be at least $25 in there. I wondered how much money I would have if I never spent change. Imagine, putting all your change into a container and then three times a year taking it to the bank and then depositing it in an account you wouldn't touch. It could amount to a couple of thousand dollars in your lifetime.
That's no small chunk of change.
I also track dollar bills with the Where's George stamp on the front. I registered on the Where's George website and have tracked a couple of bills. It is actually kind of interesting to see where money has gone. If you get a bill stamped with the Where's George label on the front, you go to the site, register the bill, and presto! The computer will tell you where the bill was put into circulation. Of course if you don't register and enter the information, you get nothing. The last bill I entered was stamped, but no one had entered where it was circulated. Kind of defeats the purpose of stamping it in the first place.
But the program tells you how far the bill has travelled, and how long it took to get into your hands.
The bills don't show up very often, but they can be a fun thing for people to do on the Internet....besides looking at porn.
And thanks to all of you who read this.....you are my therapy people. You do help me out by giving me an audience to express my weirdness to. That's important.
I finished putting up the downstairs tree and then I vacuumed up all the plastic fir parts that fell onto the floor. The artificial tree sheds more than the real tree.
I also wondered if I could afford the payments on a condo in Chicago. It was $2.4 million but had great views of the lake. I decided I probably could not, unless I turned in all my change for cash.
I put my change in jars in the closet. I have a tea can, a mason jar, a jelly jar, and maybe a pickle jar, all filled with change. There must be at least $25 in there. I wondered how much money I would have if I never spent change. Imagine, putting all your change into a container and then three times a year taking it to the bank and then depositing it in an account you wouldn't touch. It could amount to a couple of thousand dollars in your lifetime.
That's no small chunk of change.
I also track dollar bills with the Where's George stamp on the front. I registered on the Where's George website and have tracked a couple of bills. It is actually kind of interesting to see where money has gone. If you get a bill stamped with the Where's George label on the front, you go to the site, register the bill, and presto! The computer will tell you where the bill was put into circulation. Of course if you don't register and enter the information, you get nothing. The last bill I entered was stamped, but no one had entered where it was circulated. Kind of defeats the purpose of stamping it in the first place.
But the program tells you how far the bill has travelled, and how long it took to get into your hands.
The bills don't show up very often, but they can be a fun thing for people to do on the Internet....besides looking at porn.
And thanks to all of you who read this.....you are my therapy people. You do help me out by giving me an audience to express my weirdness to. That's important.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
jingle bells,
I love holiday traditions
Seriously saying that. Putting up a tree, decorating the house, putting up the Dickens Village, spending too much money. All traditions I enjoy.
We took part in another one tonight, a holiday open house at a friends' place. Great food, nice visits, good conversations....really nice time. Thanks for inviting us into your home.
I can't decide if the meat balls, little ham and cheese thingies or the hot choclate with Bailey's was my favorite. And the cookies. It was all good.
Noticed today that I have a pile of empty coffee cups in the garage. Seriously, I think I spent a fortune in the past week, at Cypress House and Starbucks. I tend to get Starbucks when I go to the zoo during Christmas time. I went to the zoo twice in the past week. When it isn't Christmas, I go to a local shop on the way from the zoo....but I love the peppermint mochas. Cypress House also makes a great candy cane mint mocha...and I have been there three time in the past two weeks.
No zoo trips for a couple of weeks.....so I will save a little money.
Sometimes I feel guilty with those indulgences, but I don't have a lot of vices and I am pretty cheap, so I also feel like I have earned that sweet taste of peppermint, mocha and whipped cream in a coffee cup.
I guess that is another tradition, and one that I plan on keeping, just like all the others.
Seriously saying that. Putting up a tree, decorating the house, putting up the Dickens Village, spending too much money. All traditions I enjoy.
We took part in another one tonight, a holiday open house at a friends' place. Great food, nice visits, good conversations....really nice time. Thanks for inviting us into your home.
I can't decide if the meat balls, little ham and cheese thingies or the hot choclate with Bailey's was my favorite. And the cookies. It was all good.
Noticed today that I have a pile of empty coffee cups in the garage. Seriously, I think I spent a fortune in the past week, at Cypress House and Starbucks. I tend to get Starbucks when I go to the zoo during Christmas time. I went to the zoo twice in the past week. When it isn't Christmas, I go to a local shop on the way from the zoo....but I love the peppermint mochas. Cypress House also makes a great candy cane mint mocha...and I have been there three time in the past two weeks.
No zoo trips for a couple of weeks.....so I will save a little money.
Sometimes I feel guilty with those indulgences, but I don't have a lot of vices and I am pretty cheap, so I also feel like I have earned that sweet taste of peppermint, mocha and whipped cream in a coffee cup.
I guess that is another tradition, and one that I plan on keeping, just like all the others.
Friday, December 15, 2017
o holy what?
Sometimes I admit I am too funny
And not funny as in, is that cheese safe to eat because it smells funny.
Or, ignore what Aunt Edna says because she is a little funny in the head.
Or, he was a funny looking guy.
Funny, as in saying something original and totally unexpected.
Was at the zoo today and we were talking about the reindeer. In North America they are called caribou, but in Europe they are called reindeer. So Santa must be European, because he has reindeer.....or maybe caribou didn't fit the rhyming patter of W. Clement Moore. ("When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer." Imagine it as, When what to my wondering eyes should I view but a minature sleigh and eight small caribou.....just does not sound right. But I digress.)
The topic then turned to bison. We call them buffalo, but they are technically bison. European creatures are called bison or wisent.
I immediately joined in on the conversation by saying, "Knowing that could give a whole new meaning to the Christmas story. What if it wasn't the 3 wisemen?"
The two people I was talking to just stopped, then burst out laughing.
OK, you had to be there. Wisemen....wisent.....the three magi were actually bison....changes everything...... like I said, had to be there.
On the way home I stopped at one of those large grocery stores with low prices. There is one in Rockford too.
When you go in the one in Rockford, right after the first set of doors there are bathrooms on the right. Turn right for men, turn left for women.
Same exact store in Aurora. Go in through the doors with a bladder full of peppermint mocha, turn right for the men and surprise!!! Men is on the left.
I do apologize, ladies. So much for me ever running for Congress.
With that, I have dishes to do.
And not funny as in, is that cheese safe to eat because it smells funny.
Or, ignore what Aunt Edna says because she is a little funny in the head.
Or, he was a funny looking guy.
Funny, as in saying something original and totally unexpected.
Was at the zoo today and we were talking about the reindeer. In North America they are called caribou, but in Europe they are called reindeer. So Santa must be European, because he has reindeer.....or maybe caribou didn't fit the rhyming patter of W. Clement Moore. ("When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer." Imagine it as, When what to my wondering eyes should I view but a minature sleigh and eight small caribou.....just does not sound right. But I digress.)
The topic then turned to bison. We call them buffalo, but they are technically bison. European creatures are called bison or wisent.
I immediately joined in on the conversation by saying, "Knowing that could give a whole new meaning to the Christmas story. What if it wasn't the 3 wisemen?"
The two people I was talking to just stopped, then burst out laughing.
OK, you had to be there. Wisemen....wisent.....the three magi were actually bison....changes everything...... like I said, had to be there.
On the way home I stopped at one of those large grocery stores with low prices. There is one in Rockford too.
When you go in the one in Rockford, right after the first set of doors there are bathrooms on the right. Turn right for men, turn left for women.
Same exact store in Aurora. Go in through the doors with a bladder full of peppermint mocha, turn right for the men and surprise!!! Men is on the left.
I do apologize, ladies. So much for me ever running for Congress.
With that, I have dishes to do.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
woe is me
I am a freaking mess
We made chili for tonight. I helped with some cornbread muffins.
First off, I didn't spray the cups very well and the muffins sort of stuck to the cups....we lost the bottom quarter inch!
I may have got a little careless with the flour or corn meal....my sweatshirt is covered with flour and batter.
But the worst was when I was pouring the batter into the cups and I flipped a cup over and onto my slipper. Of course, the floor and sink rug were covered in glop.
I look like a total slob.
But the chili was good and the top three quarters of the muffins were pretty good.
Funny, we had about 870 dishes to do after this simple meal. Correction, I had about 870 dishes to do.
I can't believe how dishes multiply when you cook. That is the main reason I don't like cooking, I don't like the clean up.
Ah.....I can hear you thinking......when you have people over for meals you never let them help with the dishes or with the clean up.
And you are right. But most of the time I am not doing the cooking, just the eating, and I figure my pay is to do the clean up.
Meanwhile, I am stuck on the Ghost of Christmas Past. Can't seem to get back to reading.
Maybe tomorrow.
We made chili for tonight. I helped with some cornbread muffins.
First off, I didn't spray the cups very well and the muffins sort of stuck to the cups....we lost the bottom quarter inch!
I may have got a little careless with the flour or corn meal....my sweatshirt is covered with flour and batter.
But the worst was when I was pouring the batter into the cups and I flipped a cup over and onto my slipper. Of course, the floor and sink rug were covered in glop.
I look like a total slob.
But the chili was good and the top three quarters of the muffins were pretty good.
Funny, we had about 870 dishes to do after this simple meal. Correction, I had about 870 dishes to do.
I can't believe how dishes multiply when you cook. That is the main reason I don't like cooking, I don't like the clean up.
Ah.....I can hear you thinking......when you have people over for meals you never let them help with the dishes or with the clean up.
And you are right. But most of the time I am not doing the cooking, just the eating, and I figure my pay is to do the clean up.
Meanwhile, I am stuck on the Ghost of Christmas Past. Can't seem to get back to reading.
Maybe tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Hip, Hip, Hooray
Today was a pretty big day in our house
First Big Thing is Julia came home today! Emily and I picked her up at the airport early this afternoon..
Tied for first is our anniversary. Jackie and I were married 48 years ago at St. Paul Episcopal Church in DeKalb.
I have not seen Julia in person since last January. That is probably the longest time I have not had in person contact with her since she left. It's nice that she is back. Nice? That's an understatement.
And yes, there is a lot of wine, chocolate, bread sticks and other goodies on the dining room table. There's a ton to put away, figuratively I mean.
It has been a busy week around here. I have been gone a lot. I realized that when I opened my Yahoo mail account and there were 382 e-mails! We have two accounts, and I use the Yahoo address whenever we order anything. So of the 382 e-mails, most of them were advertisements or special offers.
I did not know about click, and shift click as a way to delete e-mails fast. I had been clicking on each one, then deleting.....which means with 382, my wrist would be sore.
I am down to 67. Some of them are the French lessons I signed up for, and others are e-mails I need to actually read and respond to, but none of them will get done in a hurry.
Tonight I will go to bed tired, but happy.
My family is together again, if only for three weeks.
Peace and love to all, and to all a good night.
First Big Thing is Julia came home today! Emily and I picked her up at the airport early this afternoon..
Tied for first is our anniversary. Jackie and I were married 48 years ago at St. Paul Episcopal Church in DeKalb.
I have not seen Julia in person since last January. That is probably the longest time I have not had in person contact with her since she left. It's nice that she is back. Nice? That's an understatement.
And yes, there is a lot of wine, chocolate, bread sticks and other goodies on the dining room table. There's a ton to put away, figuratively I mean.
It has been a busy week around here. I have been gone a lot. I realized that when I opened my Yahoo mail account and there were 382 e-mails! We have two accounts, and I use the Yahoo address whenever we order anything. So of the 382 e-mails, most of them were advertisements or special offers.
I did not know about click, and shift click as a way to delete e-mails fast. I had been clicking on each one, then deleting.....which means with 382, my wrist would be sore.
I am down to 67. Some of them are the French lessons I signed up for, and others are e-mails I need to actually read and respond to, but none of them will get done in a hurry.
Tonight I will go to bed tired, but happy.
My family is together again, if only for three weeks.
Peace and love to all, and to all a good night.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
questions
I have so many questions about life
For instance: Why are there 10 yards for a first down in football? And why 4 tries to make it instead of three? Who came up with that?
Why do you get 4 balls in baseball? And three strikes? And three outs?? Three is such an odd number.
Why can't we have 13 months with all of them having about an equal number of days? Or 14 months? Or 10? What was magical about 12?
Why do cars have turn signals if people don't use them? And does calling them bumpers make people want to run into things on purpose?
Does GOP stand for Grand Old Party or Groping Old Perverts?
How old can I be and still legally marry a teen in Alabama?
Why do products go on sale when I don't need them?
Why do inflammable and flammable mean the same thing?
Why do some people drive fast in slow zones and slow in fast zones?
Does anyone under the age of 50 still read a newspaper regularly?
Why do we have a silent p at the beginning of so many words...pneumonia, pterodactyl, psychology...... why not just eliminate the p to start with? Same with the o in opossum.
My head hurts.
So many questions. So few answers.
I think I will go to bed and sleep on it all.
For instance: Why are there 10 yards for a first down in football? And why 4 tries to make it instead of three? Who came up with that?
Why do you get 4 balls in baseball? And three strikes? And three outs?? Three is such an odd number.
Why can't we have 13 months with all of them having about an equal number of days? Or 14 months? Or 10? What was magical about 12?
Why do cars have turn signals if people don't use them? And does calling them bumpers make people want to run into things on purpose?
Does GOP stand for Grand Old Party or Groping Old Perverts?
How old can I be and still legally marry a teen in Alabama?
Why do products go on sale when I don't need them?
Why do inflammable and flammable mean the same thing?
Why do some people drive fast in slow zones and slow in fast zones?
Does anyone under the age of 50 still read a newspaper regularly?
Why do we have a silent p at the beginning of so many words...pneumonia, pterodactyl, psychology...... why not just eliminate the p to start with? Same with the o in opossum.
My head hurts.
So many questions. So few answers.
I think I will go to bed and sleep on it all.
Monday, December 11, 2017
das is gut
I went to the Christmas market in Chicago today
I love going there. Honestly, I love the ones in Europe better, but it's easier to go to Chicago.
I don't know if it is the crowds, the decorations, the ornaments, the food or the wine, but I just love walking through the market.
I went to get a wine and they were out of mugs! Seriously....out of mugs.
A truck was supposed to be bringing more, so we walked around. We is Dan, Linda and me.....taking the train to the big city.
We went to Macy's, which I still call Field's, looked at the windows and the big tree.
Every year I promise myself that next year I will bring the family to have lunch in the Walnut Room by the big tree.
I have been saying that since each of the girls were born. I may be one of about 6 people who live in Chicago who have never eaten in the Walnut Room at Christmas time. And yes, 6 is an exaggeration.
Anyway, the windows were again a disappointment. Jackie and I used to love looking at Fields' windows...they were magical. Usually they told a story and were just amazing.
Now, not so much.
Of course I had to eat, so a bratwurst with sauerkraut was fair fare, along with a potato pancake. Of course I had to buy roasted nuts. Of course I had to buy some ornaments. Of course I finally got a cup of mulled hot wine in a commemorative mug.
Funny thing happened though.
We were at the train station and I saw something interesting at a kiosk in the basement area, outside French Market. So I decided to make a purchase. The lady said she took credit cards, but preferred cash. She used her phone to process credit cards.....so I paid cash. I used the last of my cash, but took my purchase and moved on.
Then I hit Vanille....a pastry shop and was captivated by two scrumptious bits of sweet delight I asked the fair lass if she perchance accepted the credit card known as Visa, and she did.
So I reached for my wallet and ....... huh. It was in my coat pocket. Not there. Maybe another pocket. No. My pants? No. sweatshirt pocket? No.
My wallet was gone.
With sweat (or tears of fear, not sure) running across my brow, I raced back to the kiosk where I made my purchase and there was my wallet, sitting on the table in plain sight for anyone to take.
No one did.
I counted my blessings. Then charged my pastries.
When will I ever learn??
I love going there. Honestly, I love the ones in Europe better, but it's easier to go to Chicago.
I don't know if it is the crowds, the decorations, the ornaments, the food or the wine, but I just love walking through the market.
I went to get a wine and they were out of mugs! Seriously....out of mugs.
A truck was supposed to be bringing more, so we walked around. We is Dan, Linda and me.....taking the train to the big city.
We went to Macy's, which I still call Field's, looked at the windows and the big tree.
Every year I promise myself that next year I will bring the family to have lunch in the Walnut Room by the big tree.
I have been saying that since each of the girls were born. I may be one of about 6 people who live in Chicago who have never eaten in the Walnut Room at Christmas time. And yes, 6 is an exaggeration.
Anyway, the windows were again a disappointment. Jackie and I used to love looking at Fields' windows...they were magical. Usually they told a story and were just amazing.
Now, not so much.
Of course I had to eat, so a bratwurst with sauerkraut was fair fare, along with a potato pancake. Of course I had to buy roasted nuts. Of course I had to buy some ornaments. Of course I finally got a cup of mulled hot wine in a commemorative mug.
Funny thing happened though.
We were at the train station and I saw something interesting at a kiosk in the basement area, outside French Market. So I decided to make a purchase. The lady said she took credit cards, but preferred cash. She used her phone to process credit cards.....so I paid cash. I used the last of my cash, but took my purchase and moved on.
Then I hit Vanille....a pastry shop and was captivated by two scrumptious bits of sweet delight I asked the fair lass if she perchance accepted the credit card known as Visa, and she did.
So I reached for my wallet and ....... huh. It was in my coat pocket. Not there. Maybe another pocket. No. My pants? No. sweatshirt pocket? No.
My wallet was gone.
With sweat (or tears of fear, not sure) running across my brow, I raced back to the kiosk where I made my purchase and there was my wallet, sitting on the table in plain sight for anyone to take.
No one did.
I counted my blessings. Then charged my pastries.
When will I ever learn??
 |
| Out of cups? I'll just get one from these boxes |
 |
| Success......The nutcracker was envious |
 |
| Neatest window at the store formerly known as Marshall Field |
 |
| Yes, it is indeed. |
Sunday, December 10, 2017
foul comment
I got shit on today, and didn't like it
Thelma at the zoo did it. Maybe she was mad at me, but she really let me have it, just before I went home.
Good thing too, people would have noticed and commented, but no one could tell.
I even found Emily, John, Camryn and Chris and they had no hint that Thelma had tossed some serious shit on me.
Oh, I should mention this important part. I had grabbed her under her breasts and she apparently took offense.
I should also mention this part. Thelma is a chicken. Literally, a chicken. As I carried her back to her crate, she let loose on my green shirt.
I just hope it comes out.
Now, how many of you didn't see that coming??
I know I didn't.
Thelma at the zoo did it. Maybe she was mad at me, but she really let me have it, just before I went home.
Good thing too, people would have noticed and commented, but no one could tell.
I even found Emily, John, Camryn and Chris and they had no hint that Thelma had tossed some serious shit on me.
Oh, I should mention this important part. I had grabbed her under her breasts and she apparently took offense.
I should also mention this part. Thelma is a chicken. Literally, a chicken. As I carried her back to her crate, she let loose on my green shirt.
I just hope it comes out.
Now, how many of you didn't see that coming??
I know I didn't.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
that's over!
I wrapped up my first sale day today
Conditions improved today. I sold items that were large, so I did not have to bring them back home.
Funny thing....you can spend $100 on something and then 15 years later, sell it for $50. I guess the answer is rent everything.
Seriously! Couches, chairs, beds, dressers.....just rent them.
I have a terrible time parting with memories. I just can't do it easily.
Luckily, today's items didn't have a lot of memories for me.
For example. Years ago we had a pool. This has been at least 15 years ago, if not longer. Jackie and I saw a cheese box that we thought would make an ideal container to store towels and other pool stuff.
So we bought it. It was about 2 feet high and two feet wide. It was round. And big. And I think unique.
But we got rid of the pool, moved, and the box stayed in our basement. So I sold it.
The buyer asked me where I got it and I honestly had no idea! I think I remember a store with a lot of cheese bins for sale. It could have been Amish country in Wisconsin, or at Cranfest in Warrens Wisconsin, or it could have been anywhere we happened to stop.
I have no idea how much it cost.
One would think an item that weird would stand out. But it didn't.
What is was doing was taking up space and gathering dust.
So I sold it.
I miss it already.
Conditions improved today. I sold items that were large, so I did not have to bring them back home.
Funny thing....you can spend $100 on something and then 15 years later, sell it for $50. I guess the answer is rent everything.
Seriously! Couches, chairs, beds, dressers.....just rent them.
I have a terrible time parting with memories. I just can't do it easily.
Luckily, today's items didn't have a lot of memories for me.
For example. Years ago we had a pool. This has been at least 15 years ago, if not longer. Jackie and I saw a cheese box that we thought would make an ideal container to store towels and other pool stuff.
So we bought it. It was about 2 feet high and two feet wide. It was round. And big. And I think unique.
But we got rid of the pool, moved, and the box stayed in our basement. So I sold it.
The buyer asked me where I got it and I honestly had no idea! I think I remember a store with a lot of cheese bins for sale. It could have been Amish country in Wisconsin, or at Cranfest in Warrens Wisconsin, or it could have been anywhere we happened to stop.
I have no idea how much it cost.
One would think an item that weird would stand out. But it didn't.
What is was doing was taking up space and gathering dust.
So I sold it.
I miss it already.
Friday, December 8, 2017
if I were a rich man
I may have hit the gold mine
It's called antique fair! There is one going on in Creston today and Saturday in the Opera House.
My friend Linda and I have talked for years about going to an antique market and getting a booth. The event in the Opera House was an ideal time to test out my hidden retail talent.
I have a number of items that qualify as antiques. Plus, Julia left some Fiesta ware (which are great sellers and very collectible) and Emily had some Beanie Babies.
I spent Most of Monday and Tuesday hauling up boxes and sorting through, looking for items to sell.
I spent Wednesday and as much time as I could Thursday to mark items. Some items I looked up on EBay to find a price, and priced mine lower than what is being asked on that site.
Tonight the fair opened and I sold several items....for a total of $12. I figured that was about 25 cents an hour for the time I put in on sorting, gathering, pricing, dusting. And when you consider I spent $7 on supper, I am creating more debt like the GOP tax plan!
Tomorrow is a longer day and I truly hope I sell a lot more. A LOT more, mainly so I don't have to haul it back home.
But the good news is, items are priced so when we get a booth at the Kane County monthly market we will be one step ahead in the prep game.
That is, if I don't sell out tomorrow.
Look at that...not asleep yet and already dreaming!!
It's called antique fair! There is one going on in Creston today and Saturday in the Opera House.
My friend Linda and I have talked for years about going to an antique market and getting a booth. The event in the Opera House was an ideal time to test out my hidden retail talent.
I have a number of items that qualify as antiques. Plus, Julia left some Fiesta ware (which are great sellers and very collectible) and Emily had some Beanie Babies.
I spent Most of Monday and Tuesday hauling up boxes and sorting through, looking for items to sell.
I spent Wednesday and as much time as I could Thursday to mark items. Some items I looked up on EBay to find a price, and priced mine lower than what is being asked on that site.
Tonight the fair opened and I sold several items....for a total of $12. I figured that was about 25 cents an hour for the time I put in on sorting, gathering, pricing, dusting. And when you consider I spent $7 on supper, I am creating more debt like the GOP tax plan!
Tomorrow is a longer day and I truly hope I sell a lot more. A LOT more, mainly so I don't have to haul it back home.
But the good news is, items are priced so when we get a booth at the Kane County monthly market we will be one step ahead in the prep game.
That is, if I don't sell out tomorrow.
Look at that...not asleep yet and already dreaming!!
Thursday, December 7, 2017
that was easy
I got my labels printed
We are some of the older folks who still send out Christmas cards.
But one concession to age is not writing the addresses out by hand.
In the first place, nobody can read my handwriting anymore.
Seriously, I can't even figure it out.
I had a note on my desk and spent five minutes trying to read what it said, only to realize it was upside down! And reading anything Jackie hand wrote is an experience.
I followed the directions on printing address labels. I read them. I followed them. It did not work.
I spent an hour trying, then I gave up. I asked Emily and John for advice and Emily gave me directions on how to print them. Easy as pie. No problem.
Of course, it is using a different program, but it is so much easier.
Speaking of old, I am developing a terrible habit. (That should read another terrible habit.) I laugh inappropriately. And when it doesn't even make sense.
Example.
Nurse taking blood pressure: How are you today?
Me: I'm feeling pretty good, for an old guy. ha ha ha ha
Or
Clerk: Paper or plastic.
Me: I brought my own. ha ha ha ha ha
I even laugh when I talk to myself!
So, is this a me thing or do a lot of us older people just laugh when we say something?
If it is just me, I need to stop. (He He Ha Ha) It's driving me crazy.
Or as my pops would say: That's not a drive, it's a short putt. ha ha ha ha ha
We are some of the older folks who still send out Christmas cards.
But one concession to age is not writing the addresses out by hand.
In the first place, nobody can read my handwriting anymore.
Seriously, I can't even figure it out.
I had a note on my desk and spent five minutes trying to read what it said, only to realize it was upside down! And reading anything Jackie hand wrote is an experience.
I followed the directions on printing address labels. I read them. I followed them. It did not work.
I spent an hour trying, then I gave up. I asked Emily and John for advice and Emily gave me directions on how to print them. Easy as pie. No problem.
Of course, it is using a different program, but it is so much easier.
Speaking of old, I am developing a terrible habit. (That should read another terrible habit.) I laugh inappropriately. And when it doesn't even make sense.
Example.
Nurse taking blood pressure: How are you today?
Me: I'm feeling pretty good, for an old guy. ha ha ha ha
Or
Clerk: Paper or plastic.
Me: I brought my own. ha ha ha ha ha
I even laugh when I talk to myself!
So, is this a me thing or do a lot of us older people just laugh when we say something?
If it is just me, I need to stop. (He He Ha Ha) It's driving me crazy.
Or as my pops would say: That's not a drive, it's a short putt. ha ha ha ha ha
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
not much
Not in a very pensive mood tonight
I am really beginning to doubt the sanity of our leaders.
Just at a loss for words.
I am in a dark mood today......sorry for being a downer. I need more patience. Much more.
That's it.
I am really beginning to doubt the sanity of our leaders.
Just at a loss for words.
I am in a dark mood today......sorry for being a downer. I need more patience. Much more.
That's it.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
a little behind
No, I am not talking about my body!
I suddenly seem to be behind in Christmas decorating!
Three days ago I was ahead. What the Christmas tree happened?
I have not put up my pyramid, which is my favorite Christmas ornament. It is three layers high. When you light the candles at the base, the heat causes the blades on top to spin, making the whole thing turn on the center axis.
Mine has the manger scene, and I just love watching it spin.
I think it brings back memories of a simpler time. I don't remember my grandmother having one, but since she was from Germany and these are from Germany, I can't believe she didn't have one.
Maybe it was imprinted on my memory. I just have not put it up yet.
And my train tree is still in the box.
Why? Because the downstairs tree is not yet, and the train tree is in the bottom of that box.
So, between now and Monday I have to put up the pyramid, the downstairs tree, the train tree, have a booth at the vintage market in Creston, conduct three museum tours for second graders, and spend Sunday night at the zoo.
But before I do ANY of that, I have to run address labels. Seems all I should have to do is find them and print them.
Unfortunately, my computer, like my desk and mind, is in a chaotic state of mislabeling and misfiling.
My work will never be done.
I suddenly seem to be behind in Christmas decorating!
Three days ago I was ahead. What the Christmas tree happened?
I have not put up my pyramid, which is my favorite Christmas ornament. It is three layers high. When you light the candles at the base, the heat causes the blades on top to spin, making the whole thing turn on the center axis.
Mine has the manger scene, and I just love watching it spin.
I think it brings back memories of a simpler time. I don't remember my grandmother having one, but since she was from Germany and these are from Germany, I can't believe she didn't have one.
Maybe it was imprinted on my memory. I just have not put it up yet.
And my train tree is still in the box.
Why? Because the downstairs tree is not yet, and the train tree is in the bottom of that box.
So, between now and Monday I have to put up the pyramid, the downstairs tree, the train tree, have a booth at the vintage market in Creston, conduct three museum tours for second graders, and spend Sunday night at the zoo.
But before I do ANY of that, I have to run address labels. Seems all I should have to do is find them and print them.
Unfortunately, my computer, like my desk and mind, is in a chaotic state of mislabeling and misfiling.
My work will never be done.
Monday, December 4, 2017
a little night music
I like listening to public radio at night
WNIJ out of DeKalb has a show called Echos......and they play ambient music.
It was where I first heard Yo-Yo Ma and Coyote Oldman, I love the Silk Road and the totally haunting yet calming sound of flutes that Oldman performs.
Sometimes when we camp in the fall, we put a CD on and just listen to it while we watch the fire.
That comes on at 10, and is preceded by World Cafe, which has music of an international flavor along with interviews and live performances.
Don't know why I am telling you this, which was far from my mind when I sat down to type.
Now I don't remember what was on my mind!
I watched the Carol Burnett 50th anniversary show last night and was reminded of how funny Tim Conway is, or was, depending on how you are looking at it. I am glad they did the dentist skit and the elephant bit. If you have never seen either, check out a You Tube posting of them. You will enjoy the laugh.
And I need to laugh. I told Jackie I can't watch the news anymore, it is just too depressing and scary.
I know I will have a hard time getting to sleep tonight, the wind has got me on edge.
Luckily, I have Echos and spider solitaire to pass the time.
Good night....sleep tight.
WNIJ out of DeKalb has a show called Echos......and they play ambient music.
It was where I first heard Yo-Yo Ma and Coyote Oldman, I love the Silk Road and the totally haunting yet calming sound of flutes that Oldman performs.
Sometimes when we camp in the fall, we put a CD on and just listen to it while we watch the fire.
That comes on at 10, and is preceded by World Cafe, which has music of an international flavor along with interviews and live performances.
Don't know why I am telling you this, which was far from my mind when I sat down to type.
Now I don't remember what was on my mind!
I watched the Carol Burnett 50th anniversary show last night and was reminded of how funny Tim Conway is, or was, depending on how you are looking at it. I am glad they did the dentist skit and the elephant bit. If you have never seen either, check out a You Tube posting of them. You will enjoy the laugh.
And I need to laugh. I told Jackie I can't watch the news anymore, it is just too depressing and scary.
I know I will have a hard time getting to sleep tonight, the wind has got me on edge.
Luckily, I have Echos and spider solitaire to pass the time.
Good night....sleep tight.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
flat land my butt
I am a little tired tonight
It was such a nice day, I took a little bike ride. I rode out to a friend's house to deliver a calendar. (Yes, I have a limited supply of Daily Cash Giveaway Calendars left! $20. You can win up to $1,000! But the big benefit is supporting local agencies that need you help. I have one or two just for you!)
Now, Illinois is fairly flat. And I have ridden the roads out toward Chana several times, although not this year.
I don't remember the hills.
I know, they are not really hills, just rises in the roadway. But for some reason, they were killing me today.
I swear I rode uphill all the way to their house. After a refreshing bottle of water I started back home and I was still riding uphill! And the hills were steeper now, almost mountains. One had snow on the top. Or dried leaves, not sure. I may have blacked out from oxygen deprivation.
Now I am worried about worms!
Yes, that's right, worms. More specifically invisible parasitic worms that have been found in a certain brand of bottled water. I read it on Facebook, so I know it is true.
But instead of reposting the article, I Googled it and found out that this was Fake!! Not true!! There are no worms in the bottles of water!!!
But still, what if the site reporting the news was false was in fact a false website, administered by Russian hackers who want us to drink the water and get the parasite? Then when we are all suffering from vomiting, nausea, weakness and mental confusion, what if the Russians swoop in and take control of the government?
Oh wait. That can't happen.
After all, the true patriots in our government would never cooperate in a plan to dupe the American citizens, would they?
Anyway, I made it home in the darkening part of the afternoon, just in time to take Corki for a walk.
But I didn't have any bottled water, just to be safe. I think from now on, I'll stick to red wine.
Better safe than sober these days.
It was such a nice day, I took a little bike ride. I rode out to a friend's house to deliver a calendar. (Yes, I have a limited supply of Daily Cash Giveaway Calendars left! $20. You can win up to $1,000! But the big benefit is supporting local agencies that need you help. I have one or two just for you!)
Now, Illinois is fairly flat. And I have ridden the roads out toward Chana several times, although not this year.
I don't remember the hills.
I know, they are not really hills, just rises in the roadway. But for some reason, they were killing me today.
I swear I rode uphill all the way to their house. After a refreshing bottle of water I started back home and I was still riding uphill! And the hills were steeper now, almost mountains. One had snow on the top. Or dried leaves, not sure. I may have blacked out from oxygen deprivation.
Now I am worried about worms!
Yes, that's right, worms. More specifically invisible parasitic worms that have been found in a certain brand of bottled water. I read it on Facebook, so I know it is true.
But instead of reposting the article, I Googled it and found out that this was Fake!! Not true!! There are no worms in the bottles of water!!!
But still, what if the site reporting the news was false was in fact a false website, administered by Russian hackers who want us to drink the water and get the parasite? Then when we are all suffering from vomiting, nausea, weakness and mental confusion, what if the Russians swoop in and take control of the government?
Oh wait. That can't happen.
After all, the true patriots in our government would never cooperate in a plan to dupe the American citizens, would they?
Anyway, I made it home in the darkening part of the afternoon, just in time to take Corki for a walk.
But I didn't have any bottled water, just to be safe. I think from now on, I'll stick to red wine.
Better safe than sober these days.
Saturday, December 2, 2017
out, damned spot
I have a spot on my finger
I used a permanent marker and thought that was why. So I got out the soap and scrubbed it, but it didn't go off.
I had to get going, so I spent the day Friday trying to rub it off.
Sometime Saturday, I realized it was a little blood blister. I pinched my finger in something. But it looks like a dot. Puzzling.
After getting all the lights in the little houses connected, and the trees put in place, and all the other stuff out, we turned it on.
It all worked. Then suddenly, one did not light up.
Center house, bottom.
I put in a new bulb and flash....that did not work after a brief blast of light. I figured two bad bulbs was a bit weird. I put in another bulb and..... flash! Another blast of light.
I figured the line must be bad.
But now all the boxes are put away and I have to go downstairs and find a cord that matches.
My work is never done.
On the lost and found front, the sweatshirt I just bought but could not find turned out to be hanging in my closet all along.
Now if I could just find the retractable leash for walking the dog.....I know it is around here somewhere.
Maybe tomorrow, obviously I won't find it tonight.
I used a permanent marker and thought that was why. So I got out the soap and scrubbed it, but it didn't go off.
I had to get going, so I spent the day Friday trying to rub it off.
Sometime Saturday, I realized it was a little blood blister. I pinched my finger in something. But it looks like a dot. Puzzling.
After getting all the lights in the little houses connected, and the trees put in place, and all the other stuff out, we turned it on.
It all worked. Then suddenly, one did not light up.
Center house, bottom.
I put in a new bulb and flash....that did not work after a brief blast of light. I figured two bad bulbs was a bit weird. I put in another bulb and..... flash! Another blast of light.
I figured the line must be bad.
But now all the boxes are put away and I have to go downstairs and find a cord that matches.
My work is never done.
On the lost and found front, the sweatshirt I just bought but could not find turned out to be hanging in my closet all along.
Now if I could just find the retractable leash for walking the dog.....I know it is around here somewhere.
Maybe tomorrow, obviously I won't find it tonight.
Friday, December 1, 2017
like watching a glacier melt
My lips are killing me
Let me explain.
I always carry some lip balm with me. I have one in the car. I have one next to my bed. I have two on the kitchen counter. I have two in my crap drawer in the bathroom. I always carry a lip balm with me.
Unless I don't.
Today was my zoo day. It was also cardiac rehab day. The good folks at RCH said I could come at 7 a.m. to do my rehab activities.
Working backward, (which is a proven mathematical concept in solving problems) I decided I needed to get up at 6 a.m.
As I drove to the hospital, I noticed little groups of protesters on the some of the street corners. They all were wearing backpacks. What else would they be doing out at 7 a.m. except causing trouble? I digress.
After rehab, I got in the car. I forgot to grab a lib balm from the dresser/table/kitchen counter/crap drawer, so I looked for the one I always keep in the car.
Not there.
No problem. I probably won't need one.
By the time I got to the DeKalb oasis my lips were killing me. (So was my tongue, because I bought a hot tea at a fast food place and it was very hot! In fact, it was still hot in DeKalb!)
No problem. I will just stop and get a lip balm.
As I turn off Ogden Avenue to go to the zoo, I pass a national chain store that is not a Walgreen's. So I stopped.
I figured run in, buy one lip balm, get to the zoo on time.
The first thing I notice is that there is one of three registers open in front. And that is staffed by a woman who must have been 126 years old. When she started talking about Woodrow Wilson being a great man, I knew this was going to take a while.
Then the phone rang.
So, after ringing up a couple of items for the woman in front of me, she answered the phone. That took a minute or two.
Then she returned to checking out the lady in front of me.
I get bored. I admit it. So sometimes I count. She checked out 17 items. Every 6 items got a new bag, double bagged. She told the customer "I hope this is not too heavy." I think there were two tissues and four candy bars in the bag.
There were still a lot of items to go because the customer had a huge cart.
And the phone rang. Again.
She returned to bagging and I thought I was going to be home free when she picked up an item in a security box.
The item has to be removed from the box so the alarm doesn't go off. She began to remove the item.
One one thousand....two one thousand....12 one thousand.....20 one thousand...
Finally, Bingo, item out!
Customer quietly says, "I'm sorry, that's not the one I want. It's the one next to it."
Void current sale, pick up new item.
Open box.
One one thousand, two one thousand, 20 one thousand....
At that point I looked at the 15 or so items left on the counter and said the heck with it. I can do without lip balm for a few hours.
I have now loaded them with balm. They hurt like hell.
I guarantee you, I will put a balm back in the car as soon as I remember to do so. That way, my lips will never hurt and I'll be fine.
And yes, I was late to the zoo.
And yes part 2: I realize that as we age we don't move as fast as we used to. I don't. But wouldn't you think management would take that into account and offer some plan for helping her when a big order comes through or when multiple customers are waiting in line?
Oh well........some day, the good lord willing, I will be that person behind the counter.
And I will have lip balm.
Let me explain.
I always carry some lip balm with me. I have one in the car. I have one next to my bed. I have two on the kitchen counter. I have two in my crap drawer in the bathroom. I always carry a lip balm with me.
Unless I don't.
Today was my zoo day. It was also cardiac rehab day. The good folks at RCH said I could come at 7 a.m. to do my rehab activities.
Working backward, (which is a proven mathematical concept in solving problems) I decided I needed to get up at 6 a.m.
As I drove to the hospital, I noticed little groups of protesters on the some of the street corners. They all were wearing backpacks. What else would they be doing out at 7 a.m. except causing trouble? I digress.
After rehab, I got in the car. I forgot to grab a lib balm from the dresser/table/kitchen counter/crap drawer, so I looked for the one I always keep in the car.
Not there.
No problem. I probably won't need one.
By the time I got to the DeKalb oasis my lips were killing me. (So was my tongue, because I bought a hot tea at a fast food place and it was very hot! In fact, it was still hot in DeKalb!)
No problem. I will just stop and get a lip balm.
As I turn off Ogden Avenue to go to the zoo, I pass a national chain store that is not a Walgreen's. So I stopped.
I figured run in, buy one lip balm, get to the zoo on time.
The first thing I notice is that there is one of three registers open in front. And that is staffed by a woman who must have been 126 years old. When she started talking about Woodrow Wilson being a great man, I knew this was going to take a while.
Then the phone rang.
So, after ringing up a couple of items for the woman in front of me, she answered the phone. That took a minute or two.
Then she returned to checking out the lady in front of me.
I get bored. I admit it. So sometimes I count. She checked out 17 items. Every 6 items got a new bag, double bagged. She told the customer "I hope this is not too heavy." I think there were two tissues and four candy bars in the bag.
There were still a lot of items to go because the customer had a huge cart.
And the phone rang. Again.
She returned to bagging and I thought I was going to be home free when she picked up an item in a security box.
The item has to be removed from the box so the alarm doesn't go off. She began to remove the item.
One one thousand....two one thousand....12 one thousand.....20 one thousand...
Finally, Bingo, item out!
Customer quietly says, "I'm sorry, that's not the one I want. It's the one next to it."
Void current sale, pick up new item.
Open box.
One one thousand, two one thousand, 20 one thousand....
At that point I looked at the 15 or so items left on the counter and said the heck with it. I can do without lip balm for a few hours.
I have now loaded them with balm. They hurt like hell.
I guarantee you, I will put a balm back in the car as soon as I remember to do so. That way, my lips will never hurt and I'll be fine.
And yes, I was late to the zoo.
And yes part 2: I realize that as we age we don't move as fast as we used to. I don't. But wouldn't you think management would take that into account and offer some plan for helping her when a big order comes through or when multiple customers are waiting in line?
Oh well........some day, the good lord willing, I will be that person behind the counter.
And I will have lip balm.
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