shopping early

I am getting into the Christmas mood

     Sure, it is 60 degrees and the Cubs just finished playing baseball.  The Halloween decorations are almost put away and the turkey is in the freezer.
     But Christmas is, like, 49 days away...or something like that.
     That's not too far off.
     So, I am compiling my annual gift list.
     (Those of you who "forgot" or whose gift the post office "lost," you have a chance to make up for it this year.)
     Feel free to join with someone else in giving me these highly desirable but totally unnecessary gifts.
     I'd like to start with the Wizard of Oz pinball machine, through  Hammacher Schlemmer.
     I'll let their description speak for me:   Full-motion mechanics reproduce iconic scenes, including Dorothy’s spinning farmhouse near a 3D molded twister, a winged monkey that steals your ball and requires “rescuing” from the witch’s sculpted castle, and a melting version of the Wicked Witch Of The West herself. The game’s action includes five ruby slipper flippers, three haunted forest tree trumper bumpers, one state fair balloon bumper, five magnets, and a variety of spinning, rollover, and drop targets. 

     That is all available for the low, low price of $9,500.  But order early, there were only three left when I wrote this.
    They also have an Irish Telefon (their spelling) booth in cream and green for $9,000.  It would be a great conversation piece.
     Sharper Image has a self emptying robot vacuum.  Most of you know I do the bulk of the housework, and this would be a handy item to have.  Turn it on, set it loose and when it gets full, it goes back to its charging station and dumps the dirt!
     I am not exactly sure where it dumps it, but hopefully it won't be another mess I have to clean up.
     Cost to make me happy?  Only $699.99, a true bargain.
     SI also has a human touch massage chair for only $7,499, which was the least expensive massage chair and also the coolest looking.   That would help me relax.  I could relax and watch the robot vacuum around the pin ball machine.
     Or the App controlled electric skates.....$699.99.  (Maybe it's me, but I find the 99 cents to be a bit inane.)  I can strap them on and speed down the sidewalk at speeds up to 12 MPH, controlling direction with my phone.  That doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster does it?  If so, consider the seated body lean directed transporter from Hammacher Schlemmer.  It looks like a Segway with a seat, and would allow me to cruise at 11 mph, controlling direction by just leaning my body.  (Ok, what happens if I sneeze?)  It's only $1,300.  What a bargain!
     In case you don't find anything in my list you like, just mail me any gift.  I am sure the post office won't lose it.
     After all, they can't lose every present two years in a row.  Can they?