butt it's new!

I am all for trying new things

     This summer I tried kale chips.  They were pretty good, and healthy.
     I tried buying Wrangler jeans.  They wear well and are a lot cheaper than what I usually buy.
     I tried Hanes underwear.
     Now folks, I wear clothes a long time.  I have been retired from teaching for 7 years and still have the same shirts and pants I wore then.  OK, they are a little tighter, but they still fit.  Well, some of the shirts don't.
     So my boxers get a lot of use.  Generally, when they don't stay up, it's time to get rid of them.,  (That's what the young lady said of her 70 year old lovers too, but that is a digression.)
     I had forgotten how expensive clothes were.
     Finally, the Hanes tag less boxers went on sale and I bought some.
     They fit great.  They stay up and don't sag down to around my knees.
     But I have a new problem.
     The tag tells me where the back is.
     Without a tag, it's a crap shoot.
      And if you happen to be in a hurry in the morning and put on a pair backwards, you can have a pretty lousy day.
      It's not easy to find the slot when your undies are on backward.
      I mean, imagine some poor sap in a hurry to use the urinal and he discovers his boxers are backwards.  No slot in front, where it should be.  So the poor guy has to grope himself and get his hands inside his pants to find the slot, which causes all the other men to move over and look the other way.
      Luckily there are places where you can find a little privacy and turn things around, so to speak.
     However, those are places where you really hate to put your bare feet or bare anything, which makes  it hard to de-trouser and dance around in loosely tied shoes, bouncing off one side of the restroom  stall wall to the other in some kind of macabre dance of the dead.
     Now, I am not saying that happened to me.
     And yes, there is a black spot in the back of the boxers that signifies back.
     I learned that too late.
     Just to be safe, I think I will wait a few months before using the bathroom on the tollway again.
But I will be checking before I leave the house.  I honestly don't know how I didn't catch it the first two or three times.