oh deer me

I have found ways to repel deer

     As you may remember, the deer have been munching my newly planted flowers.  Did not think they would, but they are.
     I went on line to find out some deer repellent strategies.  Notice, I did not use the word research.  Research, to me, is more than reading some articles on line.....especially when you are not sure of the veracity of the articles.  (I love that word....veracity....have been trying to figure out when I could use it.)
     A commercially made product was recommended.  So I went to a nursery in Rockford and asked for it.  It is a powder that you sprinkle on the ground about 12inches from your flower beds.  It is good for about 25 days, then has to be reapplied.  It cost $25 and I may get two applications.
      Clearly, I need a cheaper alternative.
      Some articles mentioned fencing.....not a good alternative.
      One article mentioned using Zest soap.  Put holes in a bar and hang it in a tree and the deer will avoid that tree.  The bar will last a long time.  More trees, more bars.  You can also lay them on the ground for the same effect.  (or is it affect?  Oh well.)
       A homemade spray made of of 5 eggs, 4 tablespoons hot pepper sauce and a gallon of water was rumored to work.  This does have to be applied every 0-14 days.   Truthfully, I don't think I would remember, or be motivated,  to do this.  The article said humans will not smell it, but deer will.
      Then I found a recommendation for an all natural, free solution.
      Piss on it.
      Literally.  Human urine will keep the deer away.
      Low cost, in abundant supply, and according to the source, odorless to humans.  I am not so sure about that....I remember a couple of people in life who lived on the street and definitely were not odorless to me.  But, I am willing to give it a try.
      And I invite you to, also.
      Anytime you are in my neighborhood, feel free to stop by and take a whizz on my plants.  It would be best if you came after dark, but, not a lot of people are home here during the day.  If you want, have some water and sit a spell before you help me out.  That would be fun, too.
      With my 66 year old prostrate, and my giant mug of tea at 10 every night, it is not uncommon for me to have to get up two or sometimes three times a night.
      Now I wont bother Jackie with the flushing of the toilet.  I will just sneak outside and apply the repellent to the area I want protected.
      I don't know how long it lasts, but I know I will never run out.
      I will be saving the environment also.  We have a well.  When the water runs, the well runs and electricity is used.  This method will save water, electricity, my plants and money.
     I mean, what can be wrong with that??
     Excuse me....gotta go protect some flowers.