I hate being lame

I have not cleaned house in two weeks

     Come to think of it, it may be three weeks.
     We used to have a house keeper once every two weeks.  But she left us. (Note:  Left us does not mean she died.  Left us means she decided to not clean anymore.  At least other people's houses...I assume she still cleans her own.)
       So I do the bulk of the cleaning.  I generally clean every Thursday....toilets, wipe up floors, dust, dust floors, Bona the floors. (Note:  Bona is the name of a product used on wood floors to clean them.  It is not a sexual term or a reference to any male body parts.  Why are you people always so dirty?)
       Sometimes Jackie will dust the furniture. But it is an effort for her, especially with the balance issues.  She can't bend over either, so while she may dust the top of the table, I still have to dust the bottom.  (Note:  Again, not a sexual reference.  Come on!)
       But my hip and leg have been pretty sore since the crash.  (Note:  Historical buffs, I am referring to a bike crash I had, not 1929 when the stock market crashed.  That is also known as The  Crash.  But that is not what I was referring to.)
    So things have slid a little in the past few weeks.  Yes, we have dusted the floors and wiped areas down, it is not like we are living in filth or in completely disgusting conditions.  It's just not clean.
    I am a little hesitant to do a lot.  Yesterday I did some light weeding in my flower beds, and my hip was throbbing after about 15 minutes.  So I have been sitting a lot.......trying to rest my sore parts and not over use them.
    But tomorrow, I have to start cleaning.  I figure if I clean two bathrooms, that will be a good start.  Not too taxing, not too much stress.  Then Thursday I can finish the other bathroom.  Jackie can dust the upper levels and to hell with the lower levels, no one looks there anyway.
     We have rusty water....a high iron content....and the toilets have developed some red rings.  Our bathroom mirror has water spots.  Only on my side.  I have a Waterpik flossing thing-a-ma-bob and sometimes I end up squirting water everywhere.  I do try to wipe it up, but I get a little lazy.  I actually managed to squirt myself in the face once.....then I hit the ceiling and the window.  I tend to be a little dysfunctional when I use it. (Note:  The prefix dis means apart, or negative, or not, correct?  Dislike, don't like something.  Disbar, dishearten.....get my drift?  Why is it dysfunctional?  Seems to me it should be disfunctional, but that comes up wrong on spell check.)
     So, if you stop in for any reason tomorrow, wear old clothes, bring a couple of dust rags, and help us clean.
      Really, I am kidding.  We will gladly let you do it for us.