Sometimes I just don't feel like writing anything
Tonight is one of those nights. I can't explain it, just can't do it tonight. Too tired. Too sad.
I'm fine....Jackie's fine....but he world is a sad place tonight.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
who thought butter could be obscene?
I may have committed an act of vandalism, unintentionally
Years ago, in my other life, I worked for two years at a hospital in Rockford. I won't name the hospital, just in case there are still outstanding warrants.
I was a pharmacy technician.
This hospital had a school of nursing, and in the main hallway there was a flip board with pictures of every single graduating class of nurses.
Ever have Land o' Lakes butter? You know the brand....there is a beautiful maiden on the end flaps and on the front. She is kneeling and holding a pound of butter.
Somewhere in my perverted background, I was taught....or discovered... that if you pull the end flap off, carefully fold it up and cut the small carton of butter on the bottom and sides, you create a situation where if you lift that butter flap, you expose the maiden's knees. They look remarkably like boobs.
Again, I don't know how I knew that. But a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
I worked overnight with a crazy guy named Bob. In a fit of boredom one night, we were flipping through the display of graduates. And it hit me. I could take one of these native American maidens, exposing her knees, and slip it down into the class of '24. I was of the opinion no one ever looked at the pictures.
We worked a seven on, seven off schedule. I slipped the maiden down into the picture on my last night before a week off. Then I wondered how long it would take before someone discovered her.
As it turns out, not long. All hell broke loose on Monday morning. Whoever found it notified a supervisor, who notified a supervisor, who notified a supervisor. The entire case had to be taken apart and reassembled, a job that took most of the day and required two people.
For some reason, Bob and I were both suspects. But because we worked such crazy hours, no one actually asked us about it.
If they had asked me if I put the picture of the girl showing her boobs into the picture frame, I could have honestly answered no. After all, she was showing her knees.
The maiden never appeared again. At the hospital.
But bring me a Land o' Lakes carton and I can easily make one for you.
Years ago, in my other life, I worked for two years at a hospital in Rockford. I won't name the hospital, just in case there are still outstanding warrants.
I was a pharmacy technician.
This hospital had a school of nursing, and in the main hallway there was a flip board with pictures of every single graduating class of nurses.
Ever have Land o' Lakes butter? You know the brand....there is a beautiful maiden on the end flaps and on the front. She is kneeling and holding a pound of butter.
Somewhere in my perverted background, I was taught....or discovered... that if you pull the end flap off, carefully fold it up and cut the small carton of butter on the bottom and sides, you create a situation where if you lift that butter flap, you expose the maiden's knees. They look remarkably like boobs.
Again, I don't know how I knew that. But a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
I worked overnight with a crazy guy named Bob. In a fit of boredom one night, we were flipping through the display of graduates. And it hit me. I could take one of these native American maidens, exposing her knees, and slip it down into the class of '24. I was of the opinion no one ever looked at the pictures.
We worked a seven on, seven off schedule. I slipped the maiden down into the picture on my last night before a week off. Then I wondered how long it would take before someone discovered her.
As it turns out, not long. All hell broke loose on Monday morning. Whoever found it notified a supervisor, who notified a supervisor, who notified a supervisor. The entire case had to be taken apart and reassembled, a job that took most of the day and required two people.
For some reason, Bob and I were both suspects. But because we worked such crazy hours, no one actually asked us about it.
If they had asked me if I put the picture of the girl showing her boobs into the picture frame, I could have honestly answered no. After all, she was showing her knees.
The maiden never appeared again. At the hospital.
But bring me a Land o' Lakes carton and I can easily make one for you.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
deja vu...all over again
I don't always understand directions
Maybe it's a guy thing. But tell me how to get somewhere and I will stop listening after the first time I hear, "Turn at the ....."
Was thinking about that today. We booked tickets for our visit to Julia and part of the plan involves renting a car.
I have rented cars in Europe. They drive on the same side of the road as us, the signs are pretty similar. You just have to get used to the round-a-bouts.
Jackie and I were in Caen, which is near the Normandy beaches. We rented a car through Avis, which was located close to the train station.
After talking with the people, they gave us the keys. I asked how we got out of town to head toward the Normandy beaches.
I followed the directions exactly. Well, considering she had a thick French accent, it was as exact as I understood.
We pulled out of the driveway, turned right, went two blocks, turned left.....and drove down a residential street that dead ended.
There were some kids playing soccer in the street, and they waited for me to pass. Some little girls were jumping rope on the sidewalk. We turned around and went back.
Determined to follow the directions, I made the opposite turns, and ended up on the same street! Again, we interrupted the soccer game, drove to the end, turned around and headed back to the main drag.
I would like to say that was the end of it. I would like to say I went back to the rental agency and asked for directions again. I would like to say we didn't end up going down that same street a third time. This time the soccer boys waved, the little girls waved, some of the residents stopped and waved.....we figured we had been down the street so many times, we were almost friends.
We eventually found the right turn, got on the right road, and reached our destination.
We saw a brochure about a castle open for viewing. We asked directions. We started out.
At some point, I was on a one lane road, surrounded by hedgerows. If you read anything about WW II, you know the hedgerows were scenes of terrific fighting. They made it hard for the allies to advance. We could tell why while driving down this lane at 10 mph.
Why were we driving down the lane? Because when I pulled in the lane to turn around, a postal vehicle also turned, right behind me. He may have honked. A few times. So I had no choice but to pull ahead.
The castle was about 40 minutes from our hotel. After nearly 3 hours on the road we finally pulled up to its gates. It looked beautiful. It looked ancient. It looked majestic. It looked closed.
It opened for tours July 1. We were there June 29.
On the positive side, we saw a lot of the French countryside! And maybe almost made some new friends in the process.
Maybe it's a guy thing. But tell me how to get somewhere and I will stop listening after the first time I hear, "Turn at the ....."
Was thinking about that today. We booked tickets for our visit to Julia and part of the plan involves renting a car.
I have rented cars in Europe. They drive on the same side of the road as us, the signs are pretty similar. You just have to get used to the round-a-bouts.
Jackie and I were in Caen, which is near the Normandy beaches. We rented a car through Avis, which was located close to the train station.
After talking with the people, they gave us the keys. I asked how we got out of town to head toward the Normandy beaches.
I followed the directions exactly. Well, considering she had a thick French accent, it was as exact as I understood.
We pulled out of the driveway, turned right, went two blocks, turned left.....and drove down a residential street that dead ended.
There were some kids playing soccer in the street, and they waited for me to pass. Some little girls were jumping rope on the sidewalk. We turned around and went back.
Determined to follow the directions, I made the opposite turns, and ended up on the same street! Again, we interrupted the soccer game, drove to the end, turned around and headed back to the main drag.
I would like to say that was the end of it. I would like to say I went back to the rental agency and asked for directions again. I would like to say we didn't end up going down that same street a third time. This time the soccer boys waved, the little girls waved, some of the residents stopped and waved.....we figured we had been down the street so many times, we were almost friends.
We eventually found the right turn, got on the right road, and reached our destination.
We saw a brochure about a castle open for viewing. We asked directions. We started out.
At some point, I was on a one lane road, surrounded by hedgerows. If you read anything about WW II, you know the hedgerows were scenes of terrific fighting. They made it hard for the allies to advance. We could tell why while driving down this lane at 10 mph.
Why were we driving down the lane? Because when I pulled in the lane to turn around, a postal vehicle also turned, right behind me. He may have honked. A few times. So I had no choice but to pull ahead.
The castle was about 40 minutes from our hotel. After nearly 3 hours on the road we finally pulled up to its gates. It looked beautiful. It looked ancient. It looked majestic. It looked closed.
It opened for tours July 1. We were there June 29.
On the positive side, we saw a lot of the French countryside! And maybe almost made some new friends in the process.
Monday, July 28, 2014
odds and ends
My cup is always half empty
Most everyone knows that. I have been lucky to travel a lot, but I still have lots of places I want to go. Does that make me negative? Well, yes. I want to see Cooperstown, New York City, the Redwoods, Berlin, Yellowstone..... I want to see it all!
For the first years of our lives, we scrimped and saved.....thinking in old age we would be able to travel. Best laid plans often go astray! We paid for college, we paid for cars, we paid for houses. Vacations were few and far between.
So I tend to be the half full kind of guy.
Following up on a previous blog, the Russians seemed to have lost control of the sex gecko space voyage, then regained it, then I lost interest. I think the gecko sex tape is still a possibility.
Deer have not been bothering my garden lately. Thanks to all who have contributed....you know who you are!
Had a great supper last week with Renee and Wendy....spent a lot of time catching up. It has been a while. Had a great supper with Sheri tonight....seems most of my friends are females.....why is that?
Pictures of my trip last fall seem to have disappeared. Can't find them. They are gone. Wonder where they went?
When putting up 1 x 2 firing strips, can I use a nail gun? Or should I screw them up. Literally, not figuratively. I hope. If I use a nail gun, what size nails? Inquiring minds want to know.
Got a call from Rep. Kinzinger's office tonight, inviting me to join a live town hall meeting. Think it was a computer thing, don't remember. Why me? Because I voted Republican this year? Because I have written his office several times? It could be an interesting experience.
As of tonight, 8,633 views have been made of this blog since I started on Jan. 1. I am always amazed, and appreciative, when people tell me they read it. Actually, that kind of puts me in a half full frame of mind!
Most everyone knows that. I have been lucky to travel a lot, but I still have lots of places I want to go. Does that make me negative? Well, yes. I want to see Cooperstown, New York City, the Redwoods, Berlin, Yellowstone..... I want to see it all!
For the first years of our lives, we scrimped and saved.....thinking in old age we would be able to travel. Best laid plans often go astray! We paid for college, we paid for cars, we paid for houses. Vacations were few and far between.
So I tend to be the half full kind of guy.
Following up on a previous blog, the Russians seemed to have lost control of the sex gecko space voyage, then regained it, then I lost interest. I think the gecko sex tape is still a possibility.
Deer have not been bothering my garden lately. Thanks to all who have contributed....you know who you are!
Had a great supper last week with Renee and Wendy....spent a lot of time catching up. It has been a while. Had a great supper with Sheri tonight....seems most of my friends are females.....why is that?
Pictures of my trip last fall seem to have disappeared. Can't find them. They are gone. Wonder where they went?
When putting up 1 x 2 firing strips, can I use a nail gun? Or should I screw them up. Literally, not figuratively. I hope. If I use a nail gun, what size nails? Inquiring minds want to know.
Got a call from Rep. Kinzinger's office tonight, inviting me to join a live town hall meeting. Think it was a computer thing, don't remember. Why me? Because I voted Republican this year? Because I have written his office several times? It could be an interesting experience.
As of tonight, 8,633 views have been made of this blog since I started on Jan. 1. I am always amazed, and appreciative, when people tell me they read it. Actually, that kind of puts me in a half full frame of mind!
Sunday, July 27, 2014
star light, star bright
I have trouble seeing images
I once took a science class where we did some looking at constellations. It was an outdoor ed class, but dealt with science.
We would get sky charts, go out at night and look at the stars and constellations.
Ursa Major. Draco. Cassiopeia. Orion's Belt. I would ooh and aah at the wonder of it all.
Truth be told, I could not tell one from another! It was a bunch of stars!! Sure, I can pick out the Big Dipper....but sometimes I pick out the Little Dipper instead. And any three stars together forms Orion's Belt in my mind.
I don't see the image.
Where's Waldo? Who the hell knows, because I can never see him. Little kids would pick up the book for the first time and announce, "I found him. That was easy." Then they would give me the book and for five or 10 minutes I would look but never find Waldo. I would ask the kids and they picked him out right away.
Bev Doolittle is an artist who we fell in love with back in the 1980s. We bought several of her prints. She does camouflage paintings dealing with Native Americans. There are hundreds of images hiding in her paintings. We have had one for at least 30 years and I can find about six.
Two people who look the same? Forget it, they are identical twins in my eyes. I once had a strange conversation with a woman at church during a corn boil. I kept going on and on about really stupid stuff and she seemed confused, yet interested and even maybe slightly amused. Then Jo came up to me and said, "Oh, I see you've met my sister."
I spent 10 minutes talking to a stranger!! I never realized she was not the person I knew, but I did comment on her new hair style.
Those find the six ways this picture is different things in children's magazines? I can spend hours and not find four.
Symbolism, written or in visual form, are weak areas for me.
I had no idea Frost was talking about death when he stopped his horses in a snowy woods. And don't even ask me about Emily Dickinson.
When I look up in the sky, I see stars. Organized clutter, if you will. If someone is standing next to me and going very slowly about a simple constellation, I can probably follow them.
And there is always the possibility it could be a total stranger who just looks like someone I know.
Hopefully, not a serial killer or homicidal maniac!
I once took a science class where we did some looking at constellations. It was an outdoor ed class, but dealt with science.
We would get sky charts, go out at night and look at the stars and constellations.
Ursa Major. Draco. Cassiopeia. Orion's Belt. I would ooh and aah at the wonder of it all.
Truth be told, I could not tell one from another! It was a bunch of stars!! Sure, I can pick out the Big Dipper....but sometimes I pick out the Little Dipper instead. And any three stars together forms Orion's Belt in my mind.
I don't see the image.
Where's Waldo? Who the hell knows, because I can never see him. Little kids would pick up the book for the first time and announce, "I found him. That was easy." Then they would give me the book and for five or 10 minutes I would look but never find Waldo. I would ask the kids and they picked him out right away.
Bev Doolittle is an artist who we fell in love with back in the 1980s. We bought several of her prints. She does camouflage paintings dealing with Native Americans. There are hundreds of images hiding in her paintings. We have had one for at least 30 years and I can find about six.
Two people who look the same? Forget it, they are identical twins in my eyes. I once had a strange conversation with a woman at church during a corn boil. I kept going on and on about really stupid stuff and she seemed confused, yet interested and even maybe slightly amused. Then Jo came up to me and said, "Oh, I see you've met my sister."
I spent 10 minutes talking to a stranger!! I never realized she was not the person I knew, but I did comment on her new hair style.
Those find the six ways this picture is different things in children's magazines? I can spend hours and not find four.
Symbolism, written or in visual form, are weak areas for me.
I had no idea Frost was talking about death when he stopped his horses in a snowy woods. And don't even ask me about Emily Dickinson.
When I look up in the sky, I see stars. Organized clutter, if you will. If someone is standing next to me and going very slowly about a simple constellation, I can probably follow them.
And there is always the possibility it could be a total stranger who just looks like someone I know.
Hopefully, not a serial killer or homicidal maniac!
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Ahh....to be young, again
I went to see The Wizard of Oz tonight
Not a big thing to you, I know. But when VCCT did this show about 30 years ago, I was the scarecrow. I sang. I danced. I flopped. I thought I did a good job, considering it was only my second appearance on stage.
I watched a much younger person doing he same role tonight. I did not audition, because I knew I could not flop around anymore.....well not true. I could have flopped once, but they would have needed a couple of people to pick me up. And woe to the world if I happened to land on a Munchkin or two...that would have been disastrous.
Strangely, I remembered most of the words to the song about wanting a brain. That was so long ago.
Now, I can't remember where I leave my sunglasses. And I can't remember names of things that are pretty common.
Conversations around the house are like this: "Honey, could you get me my you know what on the dresser?" "Where did you see my keys? (Often wallet, glasses, money, checkbook, phone, remote and youth are substituted in the question.) We talk about other people whose names we can't recall, yet we remember the cast of Taxi and Cheers.
Former fifth graders are doctors and lawyers and photographers and studying abroad and I struggle to learn what happened to all those summers and all those days that long ago seemed endless.
I missed Dorothy clicking her shoes and going home tonight. But I realized I also miss a time of my life when summers seemed endless, and old age a long way off.
You can't go home again. And, you can't be young again. Live your life now.
Oh the thoughts I be thinkin'..... I could be another Lincoln if.......
Not a big thing to you, I know. But when VCCT did this show about 30 years ago, I was the scarecrow. I sang. I danced. I flopped. I thought I did a good job, considering it was only my second appearance on stage.
I watched a much younger person doing he same role tonight. I did not audition, because I knew I could not flop around anymore.....well not true. I could have flopped once, but they would have needed a couple of people to pick me up. And woe to the world if I happened to land on a Munchkin or two...that would have been disastrous.
Strangely, I remembered most of the words to the song about wanting a brain. That was so long ago.
Now, I can't remember where I leave my sunglasses. And I can't remember names of things that are pretty common.
Conversations around the house are like this: "Honey, could you get me my you know what on the dresser?" "Where did you see my keys? (Often wallet, glasses, money, checkbook, phone, remote and youth are substituted in the question.) We talk about other people whose names we can't recall, yet we remember the cast of Taxi and Cheers.
Former fifth graders are doctors and lawyers and photographers and studying abroad and I struggle to learn what happened to all those summers and all those days that long ago seemed endless.
I missed Dorothy clicking her shoes and going home tonight. But I realized I also miss a time of my life when summers seemed endless, and old age a long way off.
You can't go home again. And, you can't be young again. Live your life now.
Oh the thoughts I be thinkin'..... I could be another Lincoln if.......
Friday, July 25, 2014
the geckos are doing what???
I often get confused by real and fake news
I am listening to the BBC on Northern Public Radio.
Now, one may ask why, but I don't have an answer. I just found time floating past and the BBC was on. By the way, it is the 05 hour, Greenwich Mean Time. ( I don't know why it's mean. Should be Greenwich Nice Time.)
Their first story dealt with the latest research going on in space involving fruit flies and geckos. A camera has been set up to focus on the geckos to observe their sex life in space.
Yes, I heard Gecko Porn!
And I was wondering what that experiment will reveal. Then I thought about geckos in general. I did not know they had a penis. And I just imagine that somehow they mate penisless and still produce eggs to carry on the species. How do you know they are mating? Do they have a smoke when finished? Do they save 15 percent on their auto insurance.
And since they are being filmed, should they have auto erotic insurance?
The announcer may have said the number of geckos, I am a little tired and may not have heard the exact number....but I thought they said seven. So evidently the lascivious little lizards like group sex. (Notice the clever use of alliteration?) But I could have been hearing a number bouncing around inside my head about the number of times I have given up on the Cubs this year.
I suppose there will be a pay per view special on the gecko sex experiment. Maybe even a spread in Penthouse. (Is that still published?)
Anyway, I know I am not the only one who gets confused. Lots of people will read an article from The Onion and re post it as an outrageous fact.....which it isn't because The Onion is satire and not real.
I just hope the BBC does not have a version of The Onion....because I would believe it.
Now, I think it's time for bed. To sleep, perchance to dream. Hopefully, not about geckos having sex.
I am listening to the BBC on Northern Public Radio.
Now, one may ask why, but I don't have an answer. I just found time floating past and the BBC was on. By the way, it is the 05 hour, Greenwich Mean Time. ( I don't know why it's mean. Should be Greenwich Nice Time.)
Their first story dealt with the latest research going on in space involving fruit flies and geckos. A camera has been set up to focus on the geckos to observe their sex life in space.
Yes, I heard Gecko Porn!
And I was wondering what that experiment will reveal. Then I thought about geckos in general. I did not know they had a penis. And I just imagine that somehow they mate penisless and still produce eggs to carry on the species. How do you know they are mating? Do they have a smoke when finished? Do they save 15 percent on their auto insurance.
And since they are being filmed, should they have auto erotic insurance?
The announcer may have said the number of geckos, I am a little tired and may not have heard the exact number....but I thought they said seven. So evidently the lascivious little lizards like group sex. (Notice the clever use of alliteration?) But I could have been hearing a number bouncing around inside my head about the number of times I have given up on the Cubs this year.
I suppose there will be a pay per view special on the gecko sex experiment. Maybe even a spread in Penthouse. (Is that still published?)
Anyway, I know I am not the only one who gets confused. Lots of people will read an article from The Onion and re post it as an outrageous fact.....which it isn't because The Onion is satire and not real.
I just hope the BBC does not have a version of The Onion....because I would believe it.
Now, I think it's time for bed. To sleep, perchance to dream. Hopefully, not about geckos having sex.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
where have I been?
I am amazed at how much I don't know
I know, most of you knew that a long time ago!
But lately I have been learning about things I thought I knew, but I didn't.
Example. I love Agatha Christie mysteries involving Hercule Poirot, that little Belgian detective. Masterpiece Theater on PBS has two new episodes coming out in August.
David Suchet is an English actor, and he portrays Poirot. I love the details he brings to the character, and I love the period feel to the show.
Here's what I did not know: Suchet has been playing Poirot for 25 years!! He has done over 70 episodes of Agatha Christie shows as Poirot! 70!! I have seen maybe 15 and I did not think I missed any.
His next two are on PBS, then the final three are on Acorn TV. I never knew there was an Acorn TV. It is a pay per view channel evidently available on line only. So if I want to see the last three episodes, including his final performance, in Poirot's Last Case, I have to watch it on Acorn TV.
And there are Facebook pages for Suchet and Poirot! There is a Facebook page for Hercule Poirot and a Hercule Poirot Fan Club site. There is also a resident of South America named Hercule Poirot..... Also, at least two people blog about the series.......and I thought I was a fan. How did I not know that?
Remember, I am an idiot. Does that mean I can watch it anytime? They don't give a cost....I assume it is not real expensive. Can I just "subscribe" to those three shows? The mind reels with questions.
Adding to my list of things I don't know. explore.org It's a website of live cams set up at bear feeding areas on Kodiak Island and other places in Alaska. One of the sites even includes and underwater camera so you can see the salmon spawning up river, or at least until they reach the rapids where the bears will rip them apart.
I also don't know how to write my name. I thought it was easy, but now I am flummoxed. When booking an airplane ticket on line, it asks for first name. But my passport uses my first name and middle initial. So do I: A....just use my first name? B..... use both names? C.....Use my first name and initial? (in effect I become Terryw, which scares me because my name on the ticket will not match my name on the passport) D.... don't even buy tickets because it is too confusing.
I did not know if you are on a one way street, turning left onto a one way street, that you can make a left turn on red! I hope you can, anyway, I have been doing that in Rock Falls for the past three weeks.
My mind reels at the new information I have gathered. I think I need to go to bed and sleep on all this info.
I know, most of you knew that a long time ago!
But lately I have been learning about things I thought I knew, but I didn't.
Example. I love Agatha Christie mysteries involving Hercule Poirot, that little Belgian detective. Masterpiece Theater on PBS has two new episodes coming out in August.
David Suchet is an English actor, and he portrays Poirot. I love the details he brings to the character, and I love the period feel to the show.
Here's what I did not know: Suchet has been playing Poirot for 25 years!! He has done over 70 episodes of Agatha Christie shows as Poirot! 70!! I have seen maybe 15 and I did not think I missed any.
His next two are on PBS, then the final three are on Acorn TV. I never knew there was an Acorn TV. It is a pay per view channel evidently available on line only. So if I want to see the last three episodes, including his final performance, in Poirot's Last Case, I have to watch it on Acorn TV.
And there are Facebook pages for Suchet and Poirot! There is a Facebook page for Hercule Poirot and a Hercule Poirot Fan Club site. There is also a resident of South America named Hercule Poirot..... Also, at least two people blog about the series.......and I thought I was a fan. How did I not know that?
Remember, I am an idiot. Does that mean I can watch it anytime? They don't give a cost....I assume it is not real expensive. Can I just "subscribe" to those three shows? The mind reels with questions.
Adding to my list of things I don't know. explore.org It's a website of live cams set up at bear feeding areas on Kodiak Island and other places in Alaska. One of the sites even includes and underwater camera so you can see the salmon spawning up river, or at least until they reach the rapids where the bears will rip them apart.
I also don't know how to write my name. I thought it was easy, but now I am flummoxed. When booking an airplane ticket on line, it asks for first name. But my passport uses my first name and middle initial. So do I: A....just use my first name? B..... use both names? C.....Use my first name and initial? (in effect I become Terryw, which scares me because my name on the ticket will not match my name on the passport) D.... don't even buy tickets because it is too confusing.
I did not know if you are on a one way street, turning left onto a one way street, that you can make a left turn on red! I hope you can, anyway, I have been doing that in Rock Falls for the past three weeks.
My mind reels at the new information I have gathered. I think I need to go to bed and sleep on all this info.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
oh deer me
I have found ways to repel deer
As you may remember, the deer have been munching my newly planted flowers. Did not think they would, but they are.
I went on line to find out some deer repellent strategies. Notice, I did not use the word research. Research, to me, is more than reading some articles on line.....especially when you are not sure of the veracity of the articles. (I love that word....veracity....have been trying to figure out when I could use it.)
A commercially made product was recommended. So I went to a nursery in Rockford and asked for it. It is a powder that you sprinkle on the ground about 12inches from your flower beds. It is good for about 25 days, then has to be reapplied. It cost $25 and I may get two applications.
Clearly, I need a cheaper alternative.
Some articles mentioned fencing.....not a good alternative.
One article mentioned using Zest soap. Put holes in a bar and hang it in a tree and the deer will avoid that tree. The bar will last a long time. More trees, more bars. You can also lay them on the ground for the same effect. (or is it affect? Oh well.)
A homemade spray made of of 5 eggs, 4 tablespoons hot pepper sauce and a gallon of water was rumored to work. This does have to be applied every 0-14 days. Truthfully, I don't think I would remember, or be motivated, to do this. The article said humans will not smell it, but deer will.
Then I found a recommendation for an all natural, free solution.
Piss on it.
Literally. Human urine will keep the deer away.
Low cost, in abundant supply, and according to the source, odorless to humans. I am not so sure about that....I remember a couple of people in life who lived on the street and definitely were not odorless to me. But, I am willing to give it a try.
And I invite you to, also.
Anytime you are in my neighborhood, feel free to stop by and take a whizz on my plants. It would be best if you came after dark, but, not a lot of people are home here during the day. If you want, have some water and sit a spell before you help me out. That would be fun, too.
With my 66 year old prostrate, and my giant mug of tea at 10 every night, it is not uncommon for me to have to get up two or sometimes three times a night.
Now I wont bother Jackie with the flushing of the toilet. I will just sneak outside and apply the repellent to the area I want protected.
I don't know how long it lasts, but I know I will never run out.
I will be saving the environment also. We have a well. When the water runs, the well runs and electricity is used. This method will save water, electricity, my plants and money.
I mean, what can be wrong with that??
Excuse me....gotta go protect some flowers.
As you may remember, the deer have been munching my newly planted flowers. Did not think they would, but they are.
I went on line to find out some deer repellent strategies. Notice, I did not use the word research. Research, to me, is more than reading some articles on line.....especially when you are not sure of the veracity of the articles. (I love that word....veracity....have been trying to figure out when I could use it.)
A commercially made product was recommended. So I went to a nursery in Rockford and asked for it. It is a powder that you sprinkle on the ground about 12inches from your flower beds. It is good for about 25 days, then has to be reapplied. It cost $25 and I may get two applications.
Clearly, I need a cheaper alternative.
Some articles mentioned fencing.....not a good alternative.
One article mentioned using Zest soap. Put holes in a bar and hang it in a tree and the deer will avoid that tree. The bar will last a long time. More trees, more bars. You can also lay them on the ground for the same effect. (or is it affect? Oh well.)
A homemade spray made of of 5 eggs, 4 tablespoons hot pepper sauce and a gallon of water was rumored to work. This does have to be applied every 0-14 days. Truthfully, I don't think I would remember, or be motivated, to do this. The article said humans will not smell it, but deer will.
Then I found a recommendation for an all natural, free solution.
Piss on it.
Literally. Human urine will keep the deer away.
Low cost, in abundant supply, and according to the source, odorless to humans. I am not so sure about that....I remember a couple of people in life who lived on the street and definitely were not odorless to me. But, I am willing to give it a try.
And I invite you to, also.
Anytime you are in my neighborhood, feel free to stop by and take a whizz on my plants. It would be best if you came after dark, but, not a lot of people are home here during the day. If you want, have some water and sit a spell before you help me out. That would be fun, too.
With my 66 year old prostrate, and my giant mug of tea at 10 every night, it is not uncommon for me to have to get up two or sometimes three times a night.
Now I wont bother Jackie with the flushing of the toilet. I will just sneak outside and apply the repellent to the area I want protected.
I don't know how long it lasts, but I know I will never run out.
I will be saving the environment also. We have a well. When the water runs, the well runs and electricity is used. This method will save water, electricity, my plants and money.
I mean, what can be wrong with that??
Excuse me....gotta go protect some flowers.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
I hate being lame
I have not cleaned house in two weeks
Come to think of it, it may be three weeks.
We used to have a house keeper once every two weeks. But she left us. (Note: Left us does not mean she died. Left us means she decided to not clean anymore. At least other people's houses...I assume she still cleans her own.)
So I do the bulk of the cleaning. I generally clean every Thursday....toilets, wipe up floors, dust, dust floors, Bona the floors. (Note: Bona is the name of a product used on wood floors to clean them. It is not a sexual term or a reference to any male body parts. Why are you people always so dirty?)
Sometimes Jackie will dust the furniture. But it is an effort for her, especially with the balance issues. She can't bend over either, so while she may dust the top of the table, I still have to dust the bottom. (Note: Again, not a sexual reference. Come on!)
But my hip and leg have been pretty sore since the crash. (Note: Historical buffs, I am referring to a bike crash I had, not 1929 when the stock market crashed. That is also known as The Crash. But that is not what I was referring to.)
So things have slid a little in the past few weeks. Yes, we have dusted the floors and wiped areas down, it is not like we are living in filth or in completely disgusting conditions. It's just not clean.
I am a little hesitant to do a lot. Yesterday I did some light weeding in my flower beds, and my hip was throbbing after about 15 minutes. So I have been sitting a lot.......trying to rest my sore parts and not over use them.
But tomorrow, I have to start cleaning. I figure if I clean two bathrooms, that will be a good start. Not too taxing, not too much stress. Then Thursday I can finish the other bathroom. Jackie can dust the upper levels and to hell with the lower levels, no one looks there anyway.
We have rusty water....a high iron content....and the toilets have developed some red rings. Our bathroom mirror has water spots. Only on my side. I have a Waterpik flossing thing-a-ma-bob and sometimes I end up squirting water everywhere. I do try to wipe it up, but I get a little lazy. I actually managed to squirt myself in the face once.....then I hit the ceiling and the window. I tend to be a little dysfunctional when I use it. (Note: The prefix dis means apart, or negative, or not, correct? Dislike, don't like something. Disbar, dishearten.....get my drift? Why is it dysfunctional? Seems to me it should be disfunctional, but that comes up wrong on spell check.)
So, if you stop in for any reason tomorrow, wear old clothes, bring a couple of dust rags, and help us clean.
Really, I am kidding. We will gladly let you do it for us.
Come to think of it, it may be three weeks.
We used to have a house keeper once every two weeks. But she left us. (Note: Left us does not mean she died. Left us means she decided to not clean anymore. At least other people's houses...I assume she still cleans her own.)
So I do the bulk of the cleaning. I generally clean every Thursday....toilets, wipe up floors, dust, dust floors, Bona the floors. (Note: Bona is the name of a product used on wood floors to clean them. It is not a sexual term or a reference to any male body parts. Why are you people always so dirty?)
Sometimes Jackie will dust the furniture. But it is an effort for her, especially with the balance issues. She can't bend over either, so while she may dust the top of the table, I still have to dust the bottom. (Note: Again, not a sexual reference. Come on!)
But my hip and leg have been pretty sore since the crash. (Note: Historical buffs, I am referring to a bike crash I had, not 1929 when the stock market crashed. That is also known as The Crash. But that is not what I was referring to.)
So things have slid a little in the past few weeks. Yes, we have dusted the floors and wiped areas down, it is not like we are living in filth or in completely disgusting conditions. It's just not clean.
I am a little hesitant to do a lot. Yesterday I did some light weeding in my flower beds, and my hip was throbbing after about 15 minutes. So I have been sitting a lot.......trying to rest my sore parts and not over use them.
But tomorrow, I have to start cleaning. I figure if I clean two bathrooms, that will be a good start. Not too taxing, not too much stress. Then Thursday I can finish the other bathroom. Jackie can dust the upper levels and to hell with the lower levels, no one looks there anyway.
We have rusty water....a high iron content....and the toilets have developed some red rings. Our bathroom mirror has water spots. Only on my side. I have a Waterpik flossing thing-a-ma-bob and sometimes I end up squirting water everywhere. I do try to wipe it up, but I get a little lazy. I actually managed to squirt myself in the face once.....then I hit the ceiling and the window. I tend to be a little dysfunctional when I use it. (Note: The prefix dis means apart, or negative, or not, correct? Dislike, don't like something. Disbar, dishearten.....get my drift? Why is it dysfunctional? Seems to me it should be disfunctional, but that comes up wrong on spell check.)
So, if you stop in for any reason tomorrow, wear old clothes, bring a couple of dust rags, and help us clean.
Really, I am kidding. We will gladly let you do it for us.
Monday, July 21, 2014
with a little help from my friends
Sometimes I think life stinks
And if you are looking for a joyful, funny read....skip this one.
I admit it. I am a negative person by nature. I think I got that from my father. He never saw the bright side of life. I see the glass as half empty.
I read the news and that probably is a mistake. Violence in the Mideast; fires and drought out west, innocent children fleeing violence and crime only to face rejection and hostility; bank robbers using innocent women as human shields.
300 people die when an airliner is shot down by a missile. 82 shootings in Chicago over the weekend. Ebola in Africa.
I sometimes think life stinks.
People get diseases. Like MS. Or ALS. Or MD. Or any of the other odious initials that spell a lifetime of challenge.
And our old friend, cancer. The big C. We have spent hundreds of millions on finding a cure, and it still takes tens of thousands of lives a year. It touches all of us, at some point, in some way. A family member. A neighbor. A friend.
If they are lucky, with good doctors and nurses, they survive. But they always live in fear.
I sometimes think life stinks.
It's not fair. Good people get sick. Evil people roam the streets.
I used to have a big family. At Christmas and at other holidays, the clan would gather and eat and drink and visit. Kay and Jim, Minkie, Doug and Laurel, Dort and Floyd, Rondy and Loretta, Bea and Henry, Harry.....my mom's clan. And the kids....my brothers and me, cousins Bob, Sally, Jody, Ron, Dave, Gene, Lee and a dozen others.
Some I knew well, others....well, they were older than me and we didn't have a lot in common.
We grew old too fast, grew apart too quickly.
Now the ones left are spread all over the country.
My cousin in Alaska is struggling, fighting, hoping. She's one of those hit by cancer. I know miracles are in short supply in our world, but she sure could use one.
And if you are looking for a joyful, funny read....skip this one.
I admit it. I am a negative person by nature. I think I got that from my father. He never saw the bright side of life. I see the glass as half empty.
I read the news and that probably is a mistake. Violence in the Mideast; fires and drought out west, innocent children fleeing violence and crime only to face rejection and hostility; bank robbers using innocent women as human shields.
300 people die when an airliner is shot down by a missile. 82 shootings in Chicago over the weekend. Ebola in Africa.
I sometimes think life stinks.
People get diseases. Like MS. Or ALS. Or MD. Or any of the other odious initials that spell a lifetime of challenge.
And our old friend, cancer. The big C. We have spent hundreds of millions on finding a cure, and it still takes tens of thousands of lives a year. It touches all of us, at some point, in some way. A family member. A neighbor. A friend.
If they are lucky, with good doctors and nurses, they survive. But they always live in fear.
I sometimes think life stinks.
It's not fair. Good people get sick. Evil people roam the streets.
I used to have a big family. At Christmas and at other holidays, the clan would gather and eat and drink and visit. Kay and Jim, Minkie, Doug and Laurel, Dort and Floyd, Rondy and Loretta, Bea and Henry, Harry.....my mom's clan. And the kids....my brothers and me, cousins Bob, Sally, Jody, Ron, Dave, Gene, Lee and a dozen others.
Some I knew well, others....well, they were older than me and we didn't have a lot in common.
We grew old too fast, grew apart too quickly.
Now the ones left are spread all over the country.
My cousin in Alaska is struggling, fighting, hoping. She's one of those hit by cancer. I know miracles are in short supply in our world, but she sure could use one.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
I think I'm in the upper one percent
I seem to becoming self indulgent
I have always believed that you pay for quality. You can buy a cheap car that doesn't run well or last long, or you can spend a little more money and get a dependable car.
That's how I roll. (I don't think I actually ever have used that phrase. Am I using it correctly?)
Because of that, I am a little crazy. Especially about food.
I love peaches from Southern Illinois. I have been to numerous fruit stands and everybody has Georgia peaches, or California peaches. I love Illinois peaches....they are tasty, and so juicy you need a napkin to eat them.
So today, when I stopped at the Sycamore market after church, I did a quick run through looking for Illinois peaches. Last week, one of the vendors said the Illinois crop was damaged by the early spring, frost, heavy rain, cycle. She said the crop was going to be 40 percent less than normal.
At the third vendor I saw some peaches and asked where they were grown.
"Southern Illinois, near Cobden.....and these are the best peaches you will ever eat."
So I bought a little carton of five peaches. Nice sized peaches, they are a little hard, but will ripen in a day or two. I was literally blotting the juice from my mental mind when I asked how much.
"$11.50" she replied.
I almost choked on my imaginary juice. But I bought them. Damn it, I want my Illinois peaches!
I was feeling bad at spending that much on peaches, so I stopped at Starbucks and got a caramel ribbon crunch...venti. When did I become such a self indulgent spend it like you got it guy?
But I was not done! No siree. I had a couple of steaks in the freezer. T-bones. Told Jackie we would grill those for supper tonight. As I opened the packaged, I noticed the $27 price tag on the two steaks........way over my price range! What was I thinking when I bought them? They were huge, and we are having them for two meals.....but still.
I grilled them after I finished sealing my new chaise lounge, which I wanted for the front porch so I can "read" in the afternoon on these hot summer days.
That's when it hit me. I think we are rich. I spend money like I have it, from the coffees to the peaches to the $3.79 cookies.
I can't justify it other than.... I want it. I want it all!!
I was born to be a big spender! There, I admit it. In print. For all the world to see.
And I have a feeling one person will have a special message for me when she reads this tomorrow...... but I'll probably be eating a peach and won't hear her. The slurping noise will drown out the world and all the reminders that I am not a one percenter.
I have always believed that you pay for quality. You can buy a cheap car that doesn't run well or last long, or you can spend a little more money and get a dependable car.
That's how I roll. (I don't think I actually ever have used that phrase. Am I using it correctly?)
Because of that, I am a little crazy. Especially about food.
I love peaches from Southern Illinois. I have been to numerous fruit stands and everybody has Georgia peaches, or California peaches. I love Illinois peaches....they are tasty, and so juicy you need a napkin to eat them.
So today, when I stopped at the Sycamore market after church, I did a quick run through looking for Illinois peaches. Last week, one of the vendors said the Illinois crop was damaged by the early spring, frost, heavy rain, cycle. She said the crop was going to be 40 percent less than normal.
At the third vendor I saw some peaches and asked where they were grown.
"Southern Illinois, near Cobden.....and these are the best peaches you will ever eat."
So I bought a little carton of five peaches. Nice sized peaches, they are a little hard, but will ripen in a day or two. I was literally blotting the juice from my mental mind when I asked how much.
"$11.50" she replied.
I almost choked on my imaginary juice. But I bought them. Damn it, I want my Illinois peaches!
I was feeling bad at spending that much on peaches, so I stopped at Starbucks and got a caramel ribbon crunch...venti. When did I become such a self indulgent spend it like you got it guy?
But I was not done! No siree. I had a couple of steaks in the freezer. T-bones. Told Jackie we would grill those for supper tonight. As I opened the packaged, I noticed the $27 price tag on the two steaks........way over my price range! What was I thinking when I bought them? They were huge, and we are having them for two meals.....but still.
I grilled them after I finished sealing my new chaise lounge, which I wanted for the front porch so I can "read" in the afternoon on these hot summer days.
That's when it hit me. I think we are rich. I spend money like I have it, from the coffees to the peaches to the $3.79 cookies.
I can't justify it other than.... I want it. I want it all!!
I was born to be a big spender! There, I admit it. In print. For all the world to see.
And I have a feeling one person will have a special message for me when she reads this tomorrow...... but I'll probably be eating a peach and won't hear her. The slurping noise will drown out the world and all the reminders that I am not a one percenter.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
what in the hell
I think I have to clean my computer desk
When I type, fruit flies surround my head. Now that is confusing, because I am the only fruit around the desk. Yet, there they are.
Maybe it's the crumbs from the bread sticks. My computer key board may need a cleaning also....I seem to be enjoying those Swiss bread sticks a little too much. At least Jackie did not see the red wine stain in the rug.....at least not yet. She will be looking later today, I am sure. Suffice it to say, when one is carrying bread sticks, cherries, chocolate, a crossword puzzle and a glass of wine, something is liable to be spilled.
I can count at least three Time magazines on the desk, some financial reports, a couple of summer lunch schedules, notes with random numbers written on them....they could be cell phones, or combinations to a safe somewhere.....I am not sure.
Two tape dispensers, flashlight, the scissors I have been looking for for a week and at least six pens or pencils.
It's not that I am not neat. Well, a little. I just don't put stuff away. I read about something and make a note....and that note stays by the computer. I actually have one that says simply: Osardew. or osardeu.....I am not sure. I wrote it, but can't seem to remember what the reminder was for.
There are receipts from Walgreen. For those of you who don't know, there are numbers on the receipts and you can log onto a website to do a brief survey about the service at your store. Since I have a vested interest, I always fill out the survey. Sometimes I even say, "The pharmacist treats us like family." For $120,000 she should.
And just a lot of paper, but nothing that would draw fruit flies.
It would be easy for me to clean. I can sit. Since I am still sore from the bike crash, it would be a good activity to keep my mind off my inability to walk without a limp or breath deeply without a pain. And it would keep me from watching the Cubs, a team that is killing me with their lousy hitting. And pitching. And fielding. Bring up the kids!!!!!
I guess I better get serious about cleaning .... but not until tomorrow. Maybe by then I will have the will power to do it. Until then, I will just keep swatting fruit flies.
When I type, fruit flies surround my head. Now that is confusing, because I am the only fruit around the desk. Yet, there they are.
Maybe it's the crumbs from the bread sticks. My computer key board may need a cleaning also....I seem to be enjoying those Swiss bread sticks a little too much. At least Jackie did not see the red wine stain in the rug.....at least not yet. She will be looking later today, I am sure. Suffice it to say, when one is carrying bread sticks, cherries, chocolate, a crossword puzzle and a glass of wine, something is liable to be spilled.
I can count at least three Time magazines on the desk, some financial reports, a couple of summer lunch schedules, notes with random numbers written on them....they could be cell phones, or combinations to a safe somewhere.....I am not sure.
Two tape dispensers, flashlight, the scissors I have been looking for for a week and at least six pens or pencils.
It's not that I am not neat. Well, a little. I just don't put stuff away. I read about something and make a note....and that note stays by the computer. I actually have one that says simply: Osardew. or osardeu.....I am not sure. I wrote it, but can't seem to remember what the reminder was for.
There are receipts from Walgreen. For those of you who don't know, there are numbers on the receipts and you can log onto a website to do a brief survey about the service at your store. Since I have a vested interest, I always fill out the survey. Sometimes I even say, "The pharmacist treats us like family." For $120,000 she should.
And just a lot of paper, but nothing that would draw fruit flies.
It would be easy for me to clean. I can sit. Since I am still sore from the bike crash, it would be a good activity to keep my mind off my inability to walk without a limp or breath deeply without a pain. And it would keep me from watching the Cubs, a team that is killing me with their lousy hitting. And pitching. And fielding. Bring up the kids!!!!!
I guess I better get serious about cleaning .... but not until tomorrow. Maybe by then I will have the will power to do it. Until then, I will just keep swatting fruit flies.
Friday, July 18, 2014
little of this, a little of that
Sometimes I don't have a blog topic
I do try to talk about things people may not know about me. My life is an open book, in some ways. But there are a few chapters I don't think I can reveal for another ......4 years.
But I did solve one mystery...the pink I phone. I found it in my car yesterday. My car was parked in the garage.
I called Napleton Auto this morning, because I had an oil change yesterday. I thought maybe one of their people lost it. Sure enough, one of the kids that does the car washing lost an I phone. They wipe off the dash, vacuum the carpet, clean the front window...and one of them lost their phone yesterday.
But that creates another mystery: I got in my car at Napleton's, did not see it. Stopped at Woodman's, did not see it. Drove to Emily's to let out the dogs, did not see it. I had been in the car three times and did not see it. The fourth time, there it was, big and bright as day. My guess is it got wedged in the seat and I must have moved the seat, dislodging it.
The kid who owned the phone gets up at 7. We found that out when music started playing and the phone started flashing. I hit the snooze. It went off again at 7:15, 7:30, and then Jackie turned it off.
I did have an eye appointment today. Met a fellow Rochelle resident and teacher and proceeded to call her by the wrong name several times during our conversation. Did the same thing yesterday when I called a guy named Kurt Bob, but he gently corrected me. I don't know why I can't remember people's names.
Which brings me to my final mystery: Why does Ollie's taste so good? Had banana cream today, and it was sooooo yummy!
Maybe some things can't be answered.
I do try to talk about things people may not know about me. My life is an open book, in some ways. But there are a few chapters I don't think I can reveal for another ......4 years.
But I did solve one mystery...the pink I phone. I found it in my car yesterday. My car was parked in the garage.
I called Napleton Auto this morning, because I had an oil change yesterday. I thought maybe one of their people lost it. Sure enough, one of the kids that does the car washing lost an I phone. They wipe off the dash, vacuum the carpet, clean the front window...and one of them lost their phone yesterday.
But that creates another mystery: I got in my car at Napleton's, did not see it. Stopped at Woodman's, did not see it. Drove to Emily's to let out the dogs, did not see it. I had been in the car three times and did not see it. The fourth time, there it was, big and bright as day. My guess is it got wedged in the seat and I must have moved the seat, dislodging it.
The kid who owned the phone gets up at 7. We found that out when music started playing and the phone started flashing. I hit the snooze. It went off again at 7:15, 7:30, and then Jackie turned it off.
I did have an eye appointment today. Met a fellow Rochelle resident and teacher and proceeded to call her by the wrong name several times during our conversation. Did the same thing yesterday when I called a guy named Kurt Bob, but he gently corrected me. I don't know why I can't remember people's names.
Which brings me to my final mystery: Why does Ollie's taste so good? Had banana cream today, and it was sooooo yummy!
Maybe some things can't be answered.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
mysteries of life.....
I just can't explain some things
Ever have those moments......moments when things happen that just don't make sense? I seem to be having a run of them.
Ever hear of orant agen? My line in the play is "talk about this agent orange stuff." Lately, I have been saying orant agen. I can't explain why....just seems strange.
When I drive to church in DeKalb, I have an either or situation. If I am running late, I hit every red light in Rochelle and DeKalb. But if I leave early, I don't hit any! It's almost a 10 minute difference. And there are times when I leave with exactly the amount of time I need to get there, and never see a green light.
Why does someone keep eating my sourdough pretzel balls? They don't like the taste of sourdough....
Why was there a pink I phone in my car? I swear, the car was parked in the garage, I went out to it and, voila! A pink I phone. No phone numbers that make sense, just a lot of words. And there are a lot of them. Understand, the car was in my garage! I drove to Emily's to let out the dogs. At 5 I went to go to Rock Falls and .... there is a pink I phone.
Why do I have pockets full of change, except when I go into a store and the bill is $2.06? Of course, I have $3....and I get a pocket full of change. I stack it on the counter but never put it back in my pockets.
Why do I find objects around the house that have no apparent use, only to throw them out and find out I need it for something! I mean, I hardly throw anything away, but this week I threw a little ring away....it goes on a cup! I think that's why I don't throw stuff away....the fear that I will need it.
Why do fruit flies seem to buzz my head when I am not near the fruit? (And no, Beth, my head is not a fruit!)
Why don't I ask prices? Stopped at a bakery in Chicago Wednesday and saw these cute frosted lady bug cookies. So I bought one for Jackie and one for me. They were $3.79 each. It would have helped to have that price posted. And I didn't have any change.
Like the recently discovered giant hole in Siberia, there are some things in my life that just can't be explained.
Ever have those moments......moments when things happen that just don't make sense? I seem to be having a run of them.
Ever hear of orant agen? My line in the play is "talk about this agent orange stuff." Lately, I have been saying orant agen. I can't explain why....just seems strange.
When I drive to church in DeKalb, I have an either or situation. If I am running late, I hit every red light in Rochelle and DeKalb. But if I leave early, I don't hit any! It's almost a 10 minute difference. And there are times when I leave with exactly the amount of time I need to get there, and never see a green light.
Why does someone keep eating my sourdough pretzel balls? They don't like the taste of sourdough....
Why was there a pink I phone in my car? I swear, the car was parked in the garage, I went out to it and, voila! A pink I phone. No phone numbers that make sense, just a lot of words. And there are a lot of them. Understand, the car was in my garage! I drove to Emily's to let out the dogs. At 5 I went to go to Rock Falls and .... there is a pink I phone.
Why do I have pockets full of change, except when I go into a store and the bill is $2.06? Of course, I have $3....and I get a pocket full of change. I stack it on the counter but never put it back in my pockets.
Why do I find objects around the house that have no apparent use, only to throw them out and find out I need it for something! I mean, I hardly throw anything away, but this week I threw a little ring away....it goes on a cup! I think that's why I don't throw stuff away....the fear that I will need it.
Why do fruit flies seem to buzz my head when I am not near the fruit? (And no, Beth, my head is not a fruit!)
Why don't I ask prices? Stopped at a bakery in Chicago Wednesday and saw these cute frosted lady bug cookies. So I bought one for Jackie and one for me. They were $3.79 each. It would have helped to have that price posted. And I didn't have any change.
Like the recently discovered giant hole in Siberia, there are some things in my life that just can't be explained.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
lead me not into temptation
I think I have some addictions
I CAN'T pass them up. I try. But they somehow mysteriously work their way into my life. I can remove them from sight....but eventually I will find a way.
Dark chocolate. ... Especially a bar called Cremant made by Caillier, a Nestle company, in Switzerland. When I open one, I only mean to eat one piece but presto! It's gone, like my youth.
Cherries.... I prefer Wisconsin sweet cherries. If you spell cherries wrong, it becomes cheeries, which is what I am when I eat them. I bought two pounds Tuesday afternoon....they are almost gone, like my once amazing hair.
Red wine..... I have been on a Classico Chianti kick, but pinot noir is also a favorite. I also like a good Shiraz, (who doesn't) or even a Merlot. (works magic, that Merlot) If I open one bottle, it takes me a couple of days but it will be gone, like a Popsicle on a 100 degree day.
If I sit down with a bag of cherries, a Cremant bar, and a red wine...you might as well not even try to talk to me. I will be busy. Quite busy.
White chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies..... The Beacon on the Green has them for Rotary lunch. I have one when I come in. Then one with a coffee. Then one after lunch. Last week, there were two left but I exercised what little will power I have, or they would have been gone, like the Ford Edsel.
Potato chips..... Mrs. Fishers especially. I can actually hear them calling me when I go into a store. If I buy a small bag, it lasts about a day. I have a couple in the a.m,. a couple at lunch, a couple in the afternoon, then a couple at night and bingo, bango, bongo....empty bag. They end up gone, like a politician caught not hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Bread sticks...... These are not ordinary bread sticks. These are hand made in France. They are crisp, buttery, with a hint of salt. Emily bought me two bags and every time I pass through the kitchen, a stick or two disappears. I love them! They are also expensive, so I am honored that I got some. But I know they will be gone soon, just like my bank account after the patio project.
It's funny in a way. I can give up fries and be fine. I can give up pop and be fine. I can control myself on most other food.....but those six ... I have to eat them, and eat them, and eat them, until they are gone, just like my waistline.
And by the way.....this blog is over the 8,000 mark in page views. And people are still reading..... for that I thank you. And now, I'll be gone, like, to bed.
I CAN'T pass them up. I try. But they somehow mysteriously work their way into my life. I can remove them from sight....but eventually I will find a way.
Dark chocolate. ... Especially a bar called Cremant made by Caillier, a Nestle company, in Switzerland. When I open one, I only mean to eat one piece but presto! It's gone, like my youth.
Cherries.... I prefer Wisconsin sweet cherries. If you spell cherries wrong, it becomes cheeries, which is what I am when I eat them. I bought two pounds Tuesday afternoon....they are almost gone, like my once amazing hair.
Red wine..... I have been on a Classico Chianti kick, but pinot noir is also a favorite. I also like a good Shiraz, (who doesn't) or even a Merlot. (works magic, that Merlot) If I open one bottle, it takes me a couple of days but it will be gone, like a Popsicle on a 100 degree day.
If I sit down with a bag of cherries, a Cremant bar, and a red wine...you might as well not even try to talk to me. I will be busy. Quite busy.
White chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies..... The Beacon on the Green has them for Rotary lunch. I have one when I come in. Then one with a coffee. Then one after lunch. Last week, there were two left but I exercised what little will power I have, or they would have been gone, like the Ford Edsel.
Potato chips..... Mrs. Fishers especially. I can actually hear them calling me when I go into a store. If I buy a small bag, it lasts about a day. I have a couple in the a.m,. a couple at lunch, a couple in the afternoon, then a couple at night and bingo, bango, bongo....empty bag. They end up gone, like a politician caught not hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Bread sticks...... These are not ordinary bread sticks. These are hand made in France. They are crisp, buttery, with a hint of salt. Emily bought me two bags and every time I pass through the kitchen, a stick or two disappears. I love them! They are also expensive, so I am honored that I got some. But I know they will be gone soon, just like my bank account after the patio project.
It's funny in a way. I can give up fries and be fine. I can give up pop and be fine. I can control myself on most other food.....but those six ... I have to eat them, and eat them, and eat them, until they are gone, just like my waistline.
And by the way.....this blog is over the 8,000 mark in page views. And people are still reading..... for that I thank you. And now, I'll be gone, like, to bed.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
I pledge allegiance to the un-united states...
I like the California plan being floated around
The plan proposes splitting California into six smaller states. Each state would be an area with commonalities which can be dealt with on a regional basis, not on a one size fits all basis.
I say, why stop at California?
Maybe Illinois should be broken up. Chicago and Cook County, which has the majority of people, and I am guessing produces the majority of state tax monies, would be one state. Northern Illinois would be another...ditto for the southern and central areas.
There could be unique names, like Madigastan. (No that is not original.....used in the Tribune several times.) Or Not Quite Wisconsin. Or Flatland for the central part. Egypt could be the name of the southern part to reflect it's nickname of Little Egypt.
Look at Michigan. Two parts....if a group of loonies takes over the bridge, people from the LP would not be able to get to the UP to get their pasties.
(Digression. My first trip to the UP, I saw the signs. But I did not read them correctly. I thought there must be a large strip club business because so many places were selling pasties. This was pre Internet days, when you actually had to ask someone why so many strippers lived in the area. I eventually discovered they are a delicious Cornish miner meal brought over to the new homeland....probably by undocumented and illegal immigrants, but hey....once we welcomed people. Anyway, pasties often have a meat, like turkey or beef; rutabagas, potatoes, other root crops, spices but no sauce. They are like a dry pot pie, but with a thicker, flakier shell. When our theater group did Escanaba in da Moonlight, I bought a bunch and served them to the cast at a rehearsal. Pasties tend to produce an amazing amount of farts......it was a smelly night.)
So why shouldn't Michigan be two states? Or three??
Then again, why stop there.
The original country was only 13 states. The ones in the north had more in common with each other than with the ones in the south. Yet they united to become one country, which hasn't always worked very well.
One president....13 states....small area....small population. Look at us now! 50 states (I am not counting the states of frustration, hopelessness and idiocy that make up Washington) with 350 million people and a heck of a lot of space. And still one president.
Creating four smaller countries, with each area having commonalities, would make life easier. If you didn't like a certain state you could move.
Each region would be headed by a vice president and a senate. That group would pass laws, taxes, everything the federal government does. Each area would be assessed on a per person basis to form an income level to maintain a military force that would protect all the regions.
It would be like the break up of the USSR and the sudden formation of countries we still can't recognize, locate or spell.
Anyway, now I have the urge to go to the UP and get a pastie. Or, maybe even a pastie!
The plan proposes splitting California into six smaller states. Each state would be an area with commonalities which can be dealt with on a regional basis, not on a one size fits all basis.
I say, why stop at California?
Maybe Illinois should be broken up. Chicago and Cook County, which has the majority of people, and I am guessing produces the majority of state tax monies, would be one state. Northern Illinois would be another...ditto for the southern and central areas.
There could be unique names, like Madigastan. (No that is not original.....used in the Tribune several times.) Or Not Quite Wisconsin. Or Flatland for the central part. Egypt could be the name of the southern part to reflect it's nickname of Little Egypt.
Look at Michigan. Two parts....if a group of loonies takes over the bridge, people from the LP would not be able to get to the UP to get their pasties.
(Digression. My first trip to the UP, I saw the signs. But I did not read them correctly. I thought there must be a large strip club business because so many places were selling pasties. This was pre Internet days, when you actually had to ask someone why so many strippers lived in the area. I eventually discovered they are a delicious Cornish miner meal brought over to the new homeland....probably by undocumented and illegal immigrants, but hey....once we welcomed people. Anyway, pasties often have a meat, like turkey or beef; rutabagas, potatoes, other root crops, spices but no sauce. They are like a dry pot pie, but with a thicker, flakier shell. When our theater group did Escanaba in da Moonlight, I bought a bunch and served them to the cast at a rehearsal. Pasties tend to produce an amazing amount of farts......it was a smelly night.)
So why shouldn't Michigan be two states? Or three??
Then again, why stop there.
The original country was only 13 states. The ones in the north had more in common with each other than with the ones in the south. Yet they united to become one country, which hasn't always worked very well.
One president....13 states....small area....small population. Look at us now! 50 states (I am not counting the states of frustration, hopelessness and idiocy that make up Washington) with 350 million people and a heck of a lot of space. And still one president.
Creating four smaller countries, with each area having commonalities, would make life easier. If you didn't like a certain state you could move.
Each region would be headed by a vice president and a senate. That group would pass laws, taxes, everything the federal government does. Each area would be assessed on a per person basis to form an income level to maintain a military force that would protect all the regions.
It would be like the break up of the USSR and the sudden formation of countries we still can't recognize, locate or spell.
Anyway, now I have the urge to go to the UP and get a pastie. Or, maybe even a pastie!
Monday, July 14, 2014
what's that word that means a collection?
I just have a lot of complaints today
First one: I take a drug called niaspan. This has a tendency to give me hot flashes. Twice in the past week it has caused stinging sensations in my arms, chest and face. It feels like I am being consumed by fire ants! Of course, I have never encountered a fire ant....
Second: I missed summer. Must have pulled a Rip Van Winkle.
Third: Once I start watching WW II shows on the History Channel, I can't stop. I did not realize how important the new science of radar was to the English in the Battle of Britain.
Fourth: We don't understand the levels of destruction throughout Europe during WW II. I don't think our society realizes how many died in the bombing raids, the landings, the defense of the cities....
Fifth: When my father came to the US as a child, his mother brought him here for a better life. His mother could not speak English, neither could his dad. Thousands of Irish, Polish, German, English, Italians and others from Europe came here for the same reasons over the years. I don't understand how we are turning our backs on these kids from throughout South America who are coming for the same reasons.
Six: Hummers.
Seventh: Not being able to watch Chicago stations....still a complaint. What ever happened to the free enterprise, free choice, freedom of speech people keep yapping about?
Eighth: I will never understand how religions can hate.
Ninth: I will never understand how the leader of any movement, army, country, military force or whatever can condone the killing of children, women, men and all the other innocents that die because of some one's megalomania.
Tenth: Why can't people put their shopping carts in the cart areas?
Eleventh: Why can't people use cloth bags instead of plastic ones? My lord, it's not difficult.
Final: Why do I get so grouchy when I am not tired?
First one: I take a drug called niaspan. This has a tendency to give me hot flashes. Twice in the past week it has caused stinging sensations in my arms, chest and face. It feels like I am being consumed by fire ants! Of course, I have never encountered a fire ant....
Second: I missed summer. Must have pulled a Rip Van Winkle.
Third: Once I start watching WW II shows on the History Channel, I can't stop. I did not realize how important the new science of radar was to the English in the Battle of Britain.
Fourth: We don't understand the levels of destruction throughout Europe during WW II. I don't think our society realizes how many died in the bombing raids, the landings, the defense of the cities....
Fifth: When my father came to the US as a child, his mother brought him here for a better life. His mother could not speak English, neither could his dad. Thousands of Irish, Polish, German, English, Italians and others from Europe came here for the same reasons over the years. I don't understand how we are turning our backs on these kids from throughout South America who are coming for the same reasons.
Six: Hummers.
Seventh: Not being able to watch Chicago stations....still a complaint. What ever happened to the free enterprise, free choice, freedom of speech people keep yapping about?
Eighth: I will never understand how religions can hate.
Ninth: I will never understand how the leader of any movement, army, country, military force or whatever can condone the killing of children, women, men and all the other innocents that die because of some one's megalomania.
Tenth: Why can't people put their shopping carts in the cart areas?
Eleventh: Why can't people use cloth bags instead of plastic ones? My lord, it's not difficult.
Final: Why do I get so grouchy when I am not tired?
One, two three strikes, you're out
I love going to Wrigley Field
That is no secret, and most of you know that. I do love the Cubs. But I love going to the park.
Take yesterday's game, for example.
It was Gale Sayers bobble head give away, to the first 10,000 fans. Dan, John and I have a six pack of tickets along the first base line in the upper deck, pretty close to the scoreboard in the upper deck area. And even though we are in our mid 60s, we go for those give-a-ways!
So we got there early enough, about 1:20 for a 3:05 game Now that has another advantage. Concessions are 25 percent off up to one hour before a game. So my $16.00 lunch was only $12, which was a significant savings. I actually could have saved more if I brought my own bottled water....but I forgot. But, saving 25 per cent helps.
Anyway, we are sitting there in the stands and people sit next to us. Turns out, her daughter two seats away is starting as a fifth grade teacher in Valparaiso in Indiana. The lady was an x-ray tech, her husband in insurance, and we chatted throughout the game.
One row ahead of us, and to the left, was a man with his son. The kid starts playing with the bobble head, which strangely showed Sayers without a helmet. A man two rows ahead sees the kid and yells to him: "Hey kid, how much do you want for your bobble head? Name your price." The kids recoils in horror and the dad explains that he has two kids, two bobble heads and isn't selling. The man is pretty persistent. He again makes an offer, then says, "A friend game me these seats and all he wants is a bobble head...but we got here to late. How much?"
The guy sitting in front of us taps him on the shoulder and sells his bobble head for.......$50!!
I checked on e bay this morning, and there was one for $9.95...I could have made $40!!
The ebb and flow of the game....the Cubs do well, the crowd cheers; the other team rallies and the Cub fans just sag back into their seats. There have been more sag back in the seat moments, but once in a while we get to cheer.
And singing the stretch.....can't beat it. Sayers might have been a little fast, but all 36,000 of us sounded pretty good at the end.
Wrigley has charm. A lot of people think it's a dump. That will be changing as the Rickett's family begins a major overhaul of the park...a $375 million project that will result in a lot of new signs, features,
I just hope the charm doesn't disappear. Dan had a t shirt that said: All I want is one before I die.
I just hope a better ball park and a World Series can go together.
That is no secret, and most of you know that. I do love the Cubs. But I love going to the park.
Take yesterday's game, for example.
It was Gale Sayers bobble head give away, to the first 10,000 fans. Dan, John and I have a six pack of tickets along the first base line in the upper deck, pretty close to the scoreboard in the upper deck area. And even though we are in our mid 60s, we go for those give-a-ways!
So we got there early enough, about 1:20 for a 3:05 game Now that has another advantage. Concessions are 25 percent off up to one hour before a game. So my $16.00 lunch was only $12, which was a significant savings. I actually could have saved more if I brought my own bottled water....but I forgot. But, saving 25 per cent helps.
Anyway, we are sitting there in the stands and people sit next to us. Turns out, her daughter two seats away is starting as a fifth grade teacher in Valparaiso in Indiana. The lady was an x-ray tech, her husband in insurance, and we chatted throughout the game.
One row ahead of us, and to the left, was a man with his son. The kid starts playing with the bobble head, which strangely showed Sayers without a helmet. A man two rows ahead sees the kid and yells to him: "Hey kid, how much do you want for your bobble head? Name your price." The kids recoils in horror and the dad explains that he has two kids, two bobble heads and isn't selling. The man is pretty persistent. He again makes an offer, then says, "A friend game me these seats and all he wants is a bobble head...but we got here to late. How much?"
The guy sitting in front of us taps him on the shoulder and sells his bobble head for.......$50!!
I checked on e bay this morning, and there was one for $9.95...I could have made $40!!
The ebb and flow of the game....the Cubs do well, the crowd cheers; the other team rallies and the Cub fans just sag back into their seats. There have been more sag back in the seat moments, but once in a while we get to cheer.
And singing the stretch.....can't beat it. Sayers might have been a little fast, but all 36,000 of us sounded pretty good at the end.
Wrigley has charm. A lot of people think it's a dump. That will be changing as the Rickett's family begins a major overhaul of the park...a $375 million project that will result in a lot of new signs, features,
I just hope the charm doesn't disappear. Dan had a t shirt that said: All I want is one before I die.
I just hope a better ball park and a World Series can go together.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
A shocking development
I am not an electrician
I get reminded of that from time to time. Other people can replace outlets and fixtures, but I can't.
Our second house was a tri-level. When we built, we were a little short of cash.
It was actually a Wausau home....factory build and delivered to the homesite. It came in the morning and by that night was basically finished. They literally plugged in the bathroom, hoisting it up with a crane and setting it in place.
We did not have a range hood, but we had the wiring installed for a range hood. It was a galley type kitchen, about four feet wide and 10 feet long. There were some wall outlets, ceiling lights, and the fridge running on electricity.
The appliances were avocado green....which was a pretty popular color back in the mid 80s. So we eventually bought an avocado range hood.
The electrician told me the wire for the hood was right behind the wall. Drill a hope, pull the wire through, hook up the range hood. Easy smeazy.
I flipped the breaker for the fridge. I flipped the breaker for the wall outlets. I flipped the breaker for the lights. I tested them....none worked.
I drilled my hole.....no wire. I poked around. I searched around. I put my finger in as far as I could. I got a coat hanger and forced it into the hole....voila, a wire.
But it was stubborn. It did not want to go through the hole. I made the hole a little larger, but no go. So I found a vice grips and clamped on to the wire.
KAZAP!!!! I flew across the four foot of space and banged into the counter. A huge black spot marked the wall where the vice grips locked onto a live wire. My head hurt and I swear I had x-ray vision for an hour or two.
Plus my hair was standing straight up. You may not believe it, but I had very curly hair until that day.
I eventually turned off the main breaker and hooked up the range hood.
But it was the last time I did an electrical job around any house. I found out there were people who knew what they were doing and did that for a living.
I get reminded of that from time to time. Other people can replace outlets and fixtures, but I can't.
Our second house was a tri-level. When we built, we were a little short of cash.
It was actually a Wausau home....factory build and delivered to the homesite. It came in the morning and by that night was basically finished. They literally plugged in the bathroom, hoisting it up with a crane and setting it in place.
We did not have a range hood, but we had the wiring installed for a range hood. It was a galley type kitchen, about four feet wide and 10 feet long. There were some wall outlets, ceiling lights, and the fridge running on electricity.
The appliances were avocado green....which was a pretty popular color back in the mid 80s. So we eventually bought an avocado range hood.
The electrician told me the wire for the hood was right behind the wall. Drill a hope, pull the wire through, hook up the range hood. Easy smeazy.
I flipped the breaker for the fridge. I flipped the breaker for the wall outlets. I flipped the breaker for the lights. I tested them....none worked.
I drilled my hole.....no wire. I poked around. I searched around. I put my finger in as far as I could. I got a coat hanger and forced it into the hole....voila, a wire.
But it was stubborn. It did not want to go through the hole. I made the hole a little larger, but no go. So I found a vice grips and clamped on to the wire.
KAZAP!!!! I flew across the four foot of space and banged into the counter. A huge black spot marked the wall where the vice grips locked onto a live wire. My head hurt and I swear I had x-ray vision for an hour or two.
Plus my hair was standing straight up. You may not believe it, but I had very curly hair until that day.
I eventually turned off the main breaker and hooked up the range hood.
But it was the last time I did an electrical job around any house. I found out there were people who knew what they were doing and did that for a living.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Take me out to the ball game
I love going to Wrigley Field
That is no secret, and most of you know that. I do love the Cubs. But I love going to the park.
Take yesterday's game, for example.
It was Gale Sayers bobble head give away, to the first 10,000 fans. Dan, John and I have a six pack of tickets along the first base line in the upper deck, pretty close to the scoreboard in the upper deck area. And even though we are in our mid 60s, we go for those give-a-ways!
So we got there early enough, about 1:20 for a 3:05 game Now that has another advantage. Concessions are 25 percent off up to one hour before a game. So my $16.00 lunch was only $12, which was a significant savings. I actually could have saved more if I brought my own bottled water....but I forgot. But, saving 25 per cent helps.
Anyway, we are sitting there in the stands and people sit next to us. Turns out, her daughter two seats away is starting as a fifth grade teacher in Valparaiso in Indiana. The lady was an x-ray tech, her husband in insurance, and we chatted throughout the game.
One row ahead of us, and to the left, was a man with his son. The kid starts playing with the bobble head, which strangely showed Sayers without a helmet. A man two rows ahead sees the kid and yells to him: "Hey kid, how much do you want for your bobble head? Name your price." The kids recoils in horror and the dad explains that he has two kids, two bobble heads and isn't selling. The man is pretty persistent. He again makes an offer, then says, "A friend game me these seats and all he wants is a bobble head...but we got here to late. How much?"
The guy sitting in front of us taps him on the shoulder and sells his bobble head for.......$50!!
I checked on e bay this morning, and there was one for $9.95...I could have made $40!!
The ebb and flow of the game....the Cubs do well, the crowd cheers; the other team rallies and the Cub fans just sag back into their seats. There have been more sag back in the seat moments, but once in a while we get to cheer.
And singing the stretch.....can't beat it. Sayers might have been a little fast, but all 36,000 of us sounded pretty good at the end.
Wrigley has charm. A lot of people think it's a dump. That will be changing as the Rickett's family begins a major overhaul of the park...a $375 million project that will result in a lot of new signs, features,
I just hope the charm doesn't disappear. Dan had a t shirt that said: All I want is one before I die.
I just hope a better ball park and a World Series can go together.
That is no secret, and most of you know that. I do love the Cubs. But I love going to the park.
Take yesterday's game, for example.
It was Gale Sayers bobble head give away, to the first 10,000 fans. Dan, John and I have a six pack of tickets along the first base line in the upper deck, pretty close to the scoreboard in the upper deck area. And even though we are in our mid 60s, we go for those give-a-ways!
So we got there early enough, about 1:20 for a 3:05 game Now that has another advantage. Concessions are 25 percent off up to one hour before a game. So my $16.00 lunch was only $12, which was a significant savings. I actually could have saved more if I brought my own bottled water....but I forgot. But, saving 25 per cent helps.
Anyway, we are sitting there in the stands and people sit next to us. Turns out, her daughter two seats away is starting as a fifth grade teacher in Valparaiso in Indiana. The lady was an x-ray tech, her husband in insurance, and we chatted throughout the game.
One row ahead of us, and to the left, was a man with his son. The kid starts playing with the bobble head, which strangely showed Sayers without a helmet. A man two rows ahead sees the kid and yells to him: "Hey kid, how much do you want for your bobble head? Name your price." The kids recoils in horror and the dad explains that he has two kids, two bobble heads and isn't selling. The man is pretty persistent. He again makes an offer, then says, "A friend game me these seats and all he wants is a bobble head...but we got here to late. How much?"
The guy sitting in front of us taps him on the shoulder and sells his bobble head for.......$50!!
I checked on e bay this morning, and there was one for $9.95...I could have made $40!!
The ebb and flow of the game....the Cubs do well, the crowd cheers; the other team rallies and the Cub fans just sag back into their seats. There have been more sag back in the seat moments, but once in a while we get to cheer.
And singing the stretch.....can't beat it. Sayers might have been a little fast, but all 36,000 of us sounded pretty good at the end.
Wrigley has charm. A lot of people think it's a dump. That will be changing as the Rickett's family begins a major overhaul of the park...a $375 million project that will result in a lot of new signs, features,
I just hope the charm doesn't disappear. Dan had a t shirt that said: All I want is one before I die.
I just hope a better ball park and a World Series can go together.
Friday, July 11, 2014
No, I am not in the market....
I love watching House Hunters
There are so many facets to the show. I laugh when people look at a house that is over a million, and they complain about the color of a room. I guess rich people don't know about painting.
And closets. I have heard so many times, from a woman usually, that the closet doesn't have enough space for shoes. One show last night had a woman with at least 100 pairs of shoes...all neatly lined up in her new closet, which used to be a bedroom. How many shoes do you really need?
And guys are obsessed with garage space. Maybe they compensating for some other shortcoming in their life.
But prices are amazing. New York City? in the millions. Omaha....in the hundreds of thousands for a bigger house on a lot.
A couple will ask for three bedrooms and two baths for $235,000 and the agent shows them a house with two bedrooms, one bath for $300,000. Sometimes the houses they show are not even close to what the people are looking for.
And the realtor always has a way to turn a truly negative aspect into a positive one. Busy street? Makes for a easier commute. Out dated bathroom? An opportunity to buy a property for below your price range and have money for improvements, like a new bathroom.
And people are in love with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. The cabinets could be cardboard, but the granite makes the kitchen.
The couples usually have very different tastes. He wants modern, she wants quaint. He wants country, she wants city.
I find I always pick the house they don't want.....guess my tastes are very different than the rest of the world.
I also wonder about the couples...sometimes they seem so unmatched, I don't know how they can live with each other.
In the end, everyone seems happy with their choice. Sometimes that is the biggest puzzle of the show.
There are so many facets to the show. I laugh when people look at a house that is over a million, and they complain about the color of a room. I guess rich people don't know about painting.
And closets. I have heard so many times, from a woman usually, that the closet doesn't have enough space for shoes. One show last night had a woman with at least 100 pairs of shoes...all neatly lined up in her new closet, which used to be a bedroom. How many shoes do you really need?
And guys are obsessed with garage space. Maybe they compensating for some other shortcoming in their life.
But prices are amazing. New York City? in the millions. Omaha....in the hundreds of thousands for a bigger house on a lot.
A couple will ask for three bedrooms and two baths for $235,000 and the agent shows them a house with two bedrooms, one bath for $300,000. Sometimes the houses they show are not even close to what the people are looking for.
And the realtor always has a way to turn a truly negative aspect into a positive one. Busy street? Makes for a easier commute. Out dated bathroom? An opportunity to buy a property for below your price range and have money for improvements, like a new bathroom.
And people are in love with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. The cabinets could be cardboard, but the granite makes the kitchen.
The couples usually have very different tastes. He wants modern, she wants quaint. He wants country, she wants city.
I find I always pick the house they don't want.....guess my tastes are very different than the rest of the world.
I also wonder about the couples...sometimes they seem so unmatched, I don't know how they can live with each other.
In the end, everyone seems happy with their choice. Sometimes that is the biggest puzzle of the show.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
I love Paris in the springtime...
Heck, I love Paris, period.
I was watching a House Hunters International tonight, and a woman from Australia was moving to Paris to start a new business. She was looking for an apartment at $2,400 a month, or less.
It was not easy.
But when they were looking, I saw a restaurant where I had a late supper, I think with Dan. I immediately thought of what I liked about Paris.
No, not the pick pockets the dog poop, the thieves......but I love the city.
I can't explain why. Maybe it's the architecture. Or the food. Or the desserts. Or the parks.
When I see a picture of the Eiffel Tower, or the Seine, or Notre Dame, I wish I was there.
I always enjoy getting a sandwich and going to Luxembourg Gardens. Often there is an art display on the gates, usually photographs. They are always thought provoking.
Jackie is not such a big fan. She doesn't like the noise, the crowds, the fear of pick pockets, or the dog poop.
And there is a lot of dog poop. People don't clean up as well as they should.
But it is a beautiful city, full of wonders and excitement.
The woman ended up renting a place for $2,200. Fourth floor, walk up, with a toilet room in the kitchen.....but a view of the tower and the city from her rooftop.
I just wish I could see Paris again.
I was watching a House Hunters International tonight, and a woman from Australia was moving to Paris to start a new business. She was looking for an apartment at $2,400 a month, or less.
It was not easy.
But when they were looking, I saw a restaurant where I had a late supper, I think with Dan. I immediately thought of what I liked about Paris.
No, not the pick pockets the dog poop, the thieves......but I love the city.
I can't explain why. Maybe it's the architecture. Or the food. Or the desserts. Or the parks.
When I see a picture of the Eiffel Tower, or the Seine, or Notre Dame, I wish I was there.
I always enjoy getting a sandwich and going to Luxembourg Gardens. Often there is an art display on the gates, usually photographs. They are always thought provoking.
Jackie is not such a big fan. She doesn't like the noise, the crowds, the fear of pick pockets, or the dog poop.
And there is a lot of dog poop. People don't clean up as well as they should.
But it is a beautiful city, full of wonders and excitement.
The woman ended up renting a place for $2,200. Fourth floor, walk up, with a toilet room in the kitchen.....but a view of the tower and the city from her rooftop.
I just wish I could see Paris again.
A disrupted routine...part two
Holy cow, am I out of sync!
I always do my blog entry at night, usually around 11. I like writing then, My mind is clear, my day complete.
Staying at Emily's has tossed my pattern into the air.
First off, the dogs. They are good dogs but they get up earlier than I do! I like to sleep until 8 or so, they seem to be up about 6:30. Which means I get about 6 hours of sleep instead of 8.
And then the cat.
Have you ever been sound asleep and then had someone breathing on your face? At two of clock in the morning, the damn cat was millimeters from my face, just breathing. It scared the living hell out of me!
Jaz has done that two nights in a row. He also has taken to sleeping near my face...when I roll over, I get a nose full of fur.
Plus my side is still a little tender. So I try not to roll too much.
By the way, my thigh is a complete purple .... front and back. That is a result of using a blood thinner and taking a tumble.
Years ago I fell in Switzerland, tripping over some cobbles in a train station. Have you ever lost your balance and started to tumble, only to make it worse?
Imagine my tripping, then stumbling, then taking long steps and barrelling downhill in a parking lot, right at three German tourists. I thought I was going to take them out, like 10 pins in a bowling alley. Luckily for them, I hit the ground at their feet.
I laughed about it until I got in Julia's car and noticed I now had a baseball sized gear shift on my right knee.
We went to a local hospital. Everyone spoke excellent English. They gave me a dressing gown and I laid down on an exam table.
An extremely beautiful young woman came in and announced she was the doctor's assistant and would be doing a preliminary check.
When I lifted up my gown, she stared and said, "Wow! That is the largest I have ever seen!"
Without batting an eye I replied, "You are looking at my knee, right?"
She did not laugh.
The doctor was an ortho man. He said I had a hematoma, common when people are on a blood thinner. He said he could take what he described as an enormous needle and drain it, or I could rest it for a couple of days and it would be fine. I opted for the rest. In further explanation, he said draining it would provide relief, but would create a very high possibility of infection. He did not want to drain it for that reason.
I wore a brace, the leg turned purple, and I was fine.
Which had noting to do with my disruption in routine....but then, I often digress.
That's what happens when you are sleep deprived.
I always do my blog entry at night, usually around 11. I like writing then, My mind is clear, my day complete.
Staying at Emily's has tossed my pattern into the air.
First off, the dogs. They are good dogs but they get up earlier than I do! I like to sleep until 8 or so, they seem to be up about 6:30. Which means I get about 6 hours of sleep instead of 8.
And then the cat.
Have you ever been sound asleep and then had someone breathing on your face? At two of clock in the morning, the damn cat was millimeters from my face, just breathing. It scared the living hell out of me!
Jaz has done that two nights in a row. He also has taken to sleeping near my face...when I roll over, I get a nose full of fur.
Plus my side is still a little tender. So I try not to roll too much.
By the way, my thigh is a complete purple .... front and back. That is a result of using a blood thinner and taking a tumble.
Years ago I fell in Switzerland, tripping over some cobbles in a train station. Have you ever lost your balance and started to tumble, only to make it worse?
Imagine my tripping, then stumbling, then taking long steps and barrelling downhill in a parking lot, right at three German tourists. I thought I was going to take them out, like 10 pins in a bowling alley. Luckily for them, I hit the ground at their feet.
I laughed about it until I got in Julia's car and noticed I now had a baseball sized gear shift on my right knee.
We went to a local hospital. Everyone spoke excellent English. They gave me a dressing gown and I laid down on an exam table.
An extremely beautiful young woman came in and announced she was the doctor's assistant and would be doing a preliminary check.
When I lifted up my gown, she stared and said, "Wow! That is the largest I have ever seen!"
Without batting an eye I replied, "You are looking at my knee, right?"
She did not laugh.
The doctor was an ortho man. He said I had a hematoma, common when people are on a blood thinner. He said he could take what he described as an enormous needle and drain it, or I could rest it for a couple of days and it would be fine. I opted for the rest. In further explanation, he said draining it would provide relief, but would create a very high possibility of infection. He did not want to drain it for that reason.
I wore a brace, the leg turned purple, and I was fine.
Which had noting to do with my disruption in routine....but then, I often digress.
That's what happens when you are sleep deprived.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
my disrupted routine
I easily get out of a routine..and it's hard
Take Tuesday, for example. Please.
Jackie and I forgot to get Julia's contacts to send with Emily. Julia saves a lot of money by buying them here instead of Switzerland.
So I picked up the contacts and went to mail them.
For some reason, parking in downtown Rochelle was tight. So I parked down my Moore's and walked to the post office.
Got an envelope, realized I had left Julia's address in the car. Now, I know it by heart....but I was afraid I really didn't know it.....if you get what I mean.
So I walked back to the car and got the address.
Addressed everything, filled out a customs form, mailed it, and walked back to my car. Got there and realized my sunglasses were sitting on the post office counter.
Made my third trip down the road.....I think people were wondering if I was protesting or just some old guy lost and looking for his way home.
Found my sun glasses....in the trash...don't ask....and went back to my car.
After Rotary, I rode my bike...and you all know how that ended.
My hip is still swollen, and I am black and blue from the belt line down to the knee. I know Beth would love to see pictures, but I am too modest.
So I was tired Tuesday night. I know I have lines to learn, so I sat down and worked on those for an hour...and went to bed.
I kept thinking there was something I should have done.....and this is it.
Yes, I may be 10 hours late....but I do have an entry for July 8. And I am happy to say the page views are approaching the 8,000 mark......which means a lot of you must be really bored to read about me!
Take Tuesday, for example. Please.
Jackie and I forgot to get Julia's contacts to send with Emily. Julia saves a lot of money by buying them here instead of Switzerland.
So I picked up the contacts and went to mail them.
For some reason, parking in downtown Rochelle was tight. So I parked down my Moore's and walked to the post office.
Got an envelope, realized I had left Julia's address in the car. Now, I know it by heart....but I was afraid I really didn't know it.....if you get what I mean.
So I walked back to the car and got the address.
Addressed everything, filled out a customs form, mailed it, and walked back to my car. Got there and realized my sunglasses were sitting on the post office counter.
Made my third trip down the road.....I think people were wondering if I was protesting or just some old guy lost and looking for his way home.
Found my sun glasses....in the trash...don't ask....and went back to my car.
After Rotary, I rode my bike...and you all know how that ended.
My hip is still swollen, and I am black and blue from the belt line down to the knee. I know Beth would love to see pictures, but I am too modest.
So I was tired Tuesday night. I know I have lines to learn, so I sat down and worked on those for an hour...and went to bed.
I kept thinking there was something I should have done.....and this is it.
Yes, I may be 10 hours late....but I do have an entry for July 8. And I am happy to say the page views are approaching the 8,000 mark......which means a lot of you must be really bored to read about me!
Monday, July 7, 2014
for every season, tune, tune tune
I just don't get the right words, sometimes
Lines are hard for me to memorize. I admit it. I work on them, but they don't come easily. Never have.
I am currently working on lines for an upcoming show. I have a line that goes: You be sure to tune in. Simple. I have been saying turn in! Instead of listening to the radio, I am telling people to go to sleep! Unbelievable!!
What's worse, I don't even know I am saying it wrong. My new Terry looks at me and says, turn in? I don't know what he is talking about, because I said tune in. Wrongo, lizard breath!
We were Skyping my Swiss nephew today and he was telling us about his family's schedule. He has German classes Wednesday night. Megan has German classes Monday night. Boys have soccer Tuesday and Thursday. Jackie says, "At least you don't have anything Wednesday night." Michael said, "German classes." Jackie said, "On the weekend too?" She honestly thought she said weekend but Michael and I heard Wednesday, loud and clear.
Our minds are funny things, ain't they? They think what you want them to, even if you don't mean it.
So tune becomes turn and it seems right.
Sort of like those mind games where there is a number, say three, written in green with the word yellow underneath it. You are asked what color is three and you respond yellow, even though it is actually green. Which main explain why so many people run red lights....they think yellow is green.
One time in DeKalb I was in a left turn lane, with a left turn only on the green arrow. I stopped, looked at the red arrow, saw the lane next to me get a green to go straight, and I turned left on the red. In my mind it was a green arrow. Jackie asked me if I always turn on reds, and I did not even realize I did it.
I know I am not the only one to do this. We say the wrong name but hear the right name. We give the wrong date but think it's the right date.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I think mine has been wasted enough.
Lines are hard for me to memorize. I admit it. I work on them, but they don't come easily. Never have.
I am currently working on lines for an upcoming show. I have a line that goes: You be sure to tune in. Simple. I have been saying turn in! Instead of listening to the radio, I am telling people to go to sleep! Unbelievable!!
What's worse, I don't even know I am saying it wrong. My new Terry looks at me and says, turn in? I don't know what he is talking about, because I said tune in. Wrongo, lizard breath!
We were Skyping my Swiss nephew today and he was telling us about his family's schedule. He has German classes Wednesday night. Megan has German classes Monday night. Boys have soccer Tuesday and Thursday. Jackie says, "At least you don't have anything Wednesday night." Michael said, "German classes." Jackie said, "On the weekend too?" She honestly thought she said weekend but Michael and I heard Wednesday, loud and clear.
Our minds are funny things, ain't they? They think what you want them to, even if you don't mean it.
So tune becomes turn and it seems right.
Sort of like those mind games where there is a number, say three, written in green with the word yellow underneath it. You are asked what color is three and you respond yellow, even though it is actually green. Which main explain why so many people run red lights....they think yellow is green.
One time in DeKalb I was in a left turn lane, with a left turn only on the green arrow. I stopped, looked at the red arrow, saw the lane next to me get a green to go straight, and I turned left on the red. In my mind it was a green arrow. Jackie asked me if I always turn on reds, and I did not even realize I did it.
I know I am not the only one to do this. We say the wrong name but hear the right name. We give the wrong date but think it's the right date.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I think mine has been wasted enough.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Who are these creatures?
I am living with three strangers
They are not people, but they are strange.
I am the dog sitter for someone's three Great Danes while she is in Switzerland. I live with them, and it is a strain.
One of them has terrible gas. I am not sure which one, but I have my suspicions. In a way, they are like people....cut one and pretend nothing happened. That terrible smell?? Don't look at me. I am innocent.
And they have a terrible sense of timing. I want to go to bed, they want to play. I want to sit on the deck, they want to come inside. I want to sit inside, they want to go on the deck.
And poor Bennett can't play because he has something wrong with a knee. I heard OCD, but he seems as focused as a dog can be. He has been very good about going out into the little yard while Cooper and Gwen go play in the big yard.
Dietary habits are puzzling. I don't know what Bennett was eating, but it was really wet and fabric like. It might have been a dryer sheet. All I know is, I looked over at him and he had a beard.
Gwen eats anything she can. Look away and she sneaks into one of the crates and munches in there until she hears me coming.
I discovered tonight the surround sound on the TV is great until a doorbell rings. That sets all three of them running around, barking at each door. The damn show I was watching had a doorbell going off every 5 minutes....I missed half the dialogue.
Throw in the bizarro cat, and you can tell I am losing my mind!
Earlier I had Gwen laying on my lap and the cat sitting on my lap, licking Gwen's ears! Gwen weighs over 150 pounds, and it is not a pleasant experience when she lays on you.
But they are good dogs. They keep looking at the door. I think they are waiting for Emily to come home.
Nine more days, my friends......until then, I keep a handy supply of dog treats in my pockets!
They are not people, but they are strange.
I am the dog sitter for someone's three Great Danes while she is in Switzerland. I live with them, and it is a strain.
One of them has terrible gas. I am not sure which one, but I have my suspicions. In a way, they are like people....cut one and pretend nothing happened. That terrible smell?? Don't look at me. I am innocent.
And they have a terrible sense of timing. I want to go to bed, they want to play. I want to sit on the deck, they want to come inside. I want to sit inside, they want to go on the deck.
And poor Bennett can't play because he has something wrong with a knee. I heard OCD, but he seems as focused as a dog can be. He has been very good about going out into the little yard while Cooper and Gwen go play in the big yard.
Dietary habits are puzzling. I don't know what Bennett was eating, but it was really wet and fabric like. It might have been a dryer sheet. All I know is, I looked over at him and he had a beard.
Gwen eats anything she can. Look away and she sneaks into one of the crates and munches in there until she hears me coming.
I discovered tonight the surround sound on the TV is great until a doorbell rings. That sets all three of them running around, barking at each door. The damn show I was watching had a doorbell going off every 5 minutes....I missed half the dialogue.
Throw in the bizarro cat, and you can tell I am losing my mind!
Earlier I had Gwen laying on my lap and the cat sitting on my lap, licking Gwen's ears! Gwen weighs over 150 pounds, and it is not a pleasant experience when she lays on you.
But they are good dogs. They keep looking at the door. I think they are waiting for Emily to come home.
Nine more days, my friends......until then, I keep a handy supply of dog treats in my pockets!
life unleashed
I think I just had a cross cultural experience
My Comcast has been acting up ever since the June 30 storms. Sometimes, in the middle of a conversation on the telephone, the other side can't hear me. I can hear them, but they can't hear me. The little box (modem?) that has all the lights showing tv, cable, and all flashes but then stops and goes orange and nothing works except the tv.
It is intermittent. Can go hours without a problem, then for 20 minutes the phone doesn't work, the Internet is down.....just frustrating.
So I called Comcast.
As you all know, many big companies have foreign call centers. Comcast is one of them.
A nice young lady named Sherry took my call. But while I was talking to her, there was a lot of background noise. A lot. People yelling. People cheering. People singing.
I said to her, "It's really hard to hear you because of the background noise." I could have added that her accent was pretty strong, but that alone would not have been a problem.
The cheering and yelling got progressively louder. I had to ask. "What is going on there?"
She seemed embarrassed, yet proud. Her team had won an award for high performance for the month and this was the awards ceremony. They don't have a special area for this so they do it in the call center.
She said she was sorry, but she was also proud that her team had outperformed all the other teams and were being honored "in this way."
My mind flashed back to the movie 'Outsourced" where an American is sent to India to set up a call center. In the movie, they do a lot of team building events involving cheering, rewards, yelling...all while others are taking calls.
So this nice person in India reset my signal to solve my problems. Another amazing feat....thousands of miles away yet they can send a signal and have my computer working, my phones working, my communication with the outside world working.
Except it didn't. And I have to call again. I just hope they are done celebrating.
My Comcast has been acting up ever since the June 30 storms. Sometimes, in the middle of a conversation on the telephone, the other side can't hear me. I can hear them, but they can't hear me. The little box (modem?) that has all the lights showing tv, cable, and all flashes but then stops and goes orange and nothing works except the tv.
It is intermittent. Can go hours without a problem, then for 20 minutes the phone doesn't work, the Internet is down.....just frustrating.
So I called Comcast.
As you all know, many big companies have foreign call centers. Comcast is one of them.
A nice young lady named Sherry took my call. But while I was talking to her, there was a lot of background noise. A lot. People yelling. People cheering. People singing.
I said to her, "It's really hard to hear you because of the background noise." I could have added that her accent was pretty strong, but that alone would not have been a problem.
The cheering and yelling got progressively louder. I had to ask. "What is going on there?"
She seemed embarrassed, yet proud. Her team had won an award for high performance for the month and this was the awards ceremony. They don't have a special area for this so they do it in the call center.
She said she was sorry, but she was also proud that her team had outperformed all the other teams and were being honored "in this way."
My mind flashed back to the movie 'Outsourced" where an American is sent to India to set up a call center. In the movie, they do a lot of team building events involving cheering, rewards, yelling...all while others are taking calls.
So this nice person in India reset my signal to solve my problems. Another amazing feat....thousands of miles away yet they can send a signal and have my computer working, my phones working, my communication with the outside world working.
Except it didn't. And I have to call again. I just hope they are done celebrating.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Generation gaps
Sometimes I am clueless about da yout
Now that I have become my father, a few more things have occurred to me.
I don't understand young people. Not the what-are-they-thinking-understanding, but the cultural references.
At the zoo today a child about 8 said the guinea pig I was holding looked like.....some name. I was clueless. Then his mother said it was a tv show he watched. I never heard of it.
Another conversation went something like this: "My dad was talking, and I was on the ladder, and he asked me if I heard him and I said, like it was all waa waa waaaa...I'm the teacher, you know?" Other person, "Did he understand the reference?" At that point I wanted to ask what the reference was. I still wonder...if you know, let me know. I thought it might be Charlie Brown, but it didn't sound like that....but similar. Ya know?
Now I know how my pops felt when I said groovy, or talked about Bob Dylan and Jefferson Airplane and Haight Ashbury and the summer of love. I'm sure he was clueless. And he didn't have internet to help him find the answers.
When we did Exit 99 shows, someone would yell out a performer or a song or a group and I would be...you guessed it...clueless. TD, Bethie, Carrie or Ross would would have to fill me in on the cultural reference. It's hard to mock something when you don't know what it is.
I realize to be current with stuff Julia is familiar with, and Emily is familiar with, and the kids at he zoo.....I would have to study 4 different generations. Inconceivable.
And I realize it goes both ways. If I start telling youngin's about White Levis and Jefferson Airplane they would probably think I was talking gibberish. If I ask a 20 year old who the Soup Nazi was, I doubt they would know. Just like I do not know about the funny guy with the square pants who lives in a pineapple on the bottom of the ocean.
Sometimes the cultural references cross generations. I was working with younger people and the discussion turned to something poisonous when someone said, "I have taken small doses of iocane and have built up an immunity." I recognized it from Princess Bride. another younger person said, "I love that movie!" We all hit a cross generational reference, which was kind of neat.
And when some people referenced Frozen today, I actually had some idea what they were talking about because I did see the movie. Once. Evidently I need to see Frozen more than once to catch all the subtleties. Or not.
So, young people: I'm going to put some wax on the machine and cruise off to dreamland, if you dig me.
Now that I have become my father, a few more things have occurred to me.
I don't understand young people. Not the what-are-they-thinking-understanding, but the cultural references.
At the zoo today a child about 8 said the guinea pig I was holding looked like.....some name. I was clueless. Then his mother said it was a tv show he watched. I never heard of it.
Another conversation went something like this: "My dad was talking, and I was on the ladder, and he asked me if I heard him and I said, like it was all waa waa waaaa...I'm the teacher, you know?" Other person, "Did he understand the reference?" At that point I wanted to ask what the reference was. I still wonder...if you know, let me know. I thought it might be Charlie Brown, but it didn't sound like that....but similar. Ya know?
Now I know how my pops felt when I said groovy, or talked about Bob Dylan and Jefferson Airplane and Haight Ashbury and the summer of love. I'm sure he was clueless. And he didn't have internet to help him find the answers.
When we did Exit 99 shows, someone would yell out a performer or a song or a group and I would be...you guessed it...clueless. TD, Bethie, Carrie or Ross would would have to fill me in on the cultural reference. It's hard to mock something when you don't know what it is.
I realize to be current with stuff Julia is familiar with, and Emily is familiar with, and the kids at he zoo.....I would have to study 4 different generations. Inconceivable.
And I realize it goes both ways. If I start telling youngin's about White Levis and Jefferson Airplane they would probably think I was talking gibberish. If I ask a 20 year old who the Soup Nazi was, I doubt they would know. Just like I do not know about the funny guy with the square pants who lives in a pineapple on the bottom of the ocean.
Sometimes the cultural references cross generations. I was working with younger people and the discussion turned to something poisonous when someone said, "I have taken small doses of iocane and have built up an immunity." I recognized it from Princess Bride. another younger person said, "I love that movie!" We all hit a cross generational reference, which was kind of neat.
And when some people referenced Frozen today, I actually had some idea what they were talking about because I did see the movie. Once. Evidently I need to see Frozen more than once to catch all the subtleties. Or not.
So, young people: I'm going to put some wax on the machine and cruise off to dreamland, if you dig me.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Crazy is as crazy does
I have some new laws that should be considered
Jackie says I am crazy. She says my laws don't make any sense. I disagree. To me, a slightly deranged thinker, they all make perfectly good sense. To be honest, she has only heard some of my ideas.
Charge by the pound for waste disposal. It costs a lot of money to pick up the trash, drive it to a landfill, dump it and bury it. Not mentioning monitoring the groundwater for contamination, dealing with the gas waste. In my plan, home recycling pick up would be free. But people would pay by the pound to have trash picked up. I have not worked out the details yet, but specially designed garbage cans would have a bar code. Truck crew swipes the code, puts it on a scale, records it, dumps it and returns the can to your yard. You get a monthly bill, detailing how much was picked up on what day. You pay a price, let's say $5 per pound. If you are not recycling, you will pay for disposing of that material. Yes, it may be hard to police. People may decide to dump their garbage in public places or in your trashcan, but that would not be done on a large scale.
Speed cameras on roads. On rural roads, they could be movable so they would not be on the same road all the time. On tollways and interstates, put them up every couple of miles. Allow for a 5 percent error. Ticket the car, not the driver. So if I am going 80 in a 70, I would get a ticket for speeding. Allowing for a 5 percent error, my ticket would be for 76 mph. Have different level fines....in city, rural, populated..... and issue a ticket to that car. So a person doing 80, would be charged with doing 76. At $25 per mile over the limit, the ticket would be $150. Owner of the license plate has 30 days to protest or pay. If you were not driving, then you have two options: Give police the name of the driver so the ticket can be sent. Pay the fine, collect the money from the driver.
Tickets do not count as a moving violation, but if you get 6 in a 6 month period, you have to go to driver school. People can opt not to get a ticket by not speeding.
License plate fees based on EPA mileage. If your car gets an EPA mileage of 50, you pay $10 for a plate. If it gets 45-50....$20 a year; 40-45...$40 a year; 35-40....$80 a year; 30-35 $160 a year; 25-35.. . $320 a year; 20-25..$400; 15-20; $500; 10-15..$750; under 10...$1500. Antique vehicles would be at a special rate. Electric vehicles would fall in with the 50 plus. Pick up trucks would be treated as cars.
Eliminate state gas tax. Instead, have an I Pass type device and sensors on all roads. Motorists pay a per mile driven fee. People who don't drive a lot will pay less than someone who puts 1,000 miles a week on a car.
Set pay limits of $10,000 for a state rep and $20,000 for a state senator. No per diems, no travel expenses. Turn the legislative branch back into a group of citizens, not professional politicians.
Each person at age 18 has to do two years of service. Could be military, could be like the CCC during the Depression. I someone has gaps in learning areas, additional schooling could be an option.
In road construction zones where lanes are closed, put up portable concrete barriers and traffic lights. If the left lane is closed, at some point the lanes have to merge. Put up a traffic light so people in one lane stop for 20 seconds, then go while the other lane stops for 20 seconds.
Ban all trucks from Chicago area expressways during rush hour, am and pm. From 7-9 and 4-6 cars should rule.
I guess that's it.
Jackie says I am crazy. She says my laws don't make any sense. I disagree. To me, a slightly deranged thinker, they all make perfectly good sense. To be honest, she has only heard some of my ideas.
Charge by the pound for waste disposal. It costs a lot of money to pick up the trash, drive it to a landfill, dump it and bury it. Not mentioning monitoring the groundwater for contamination, dealing with the gas waste. In my plan, home recycling pick up would be free. But people would pay by the pound to have trash picked up. I have not worked out the details yet, but specially designed garbage cans would have a bar code. Truck crew swipes the code, puts it on a scale, records it, dumps it and returns the can to your yard. You get a monthly bill, detailing how much was picked up on what day. You pay a price, let's say $5 per pound. If you are not recycling, you will pay for disposing of that material. Yes, it may be hard to police. People may decide to dump their garbage in public places or in your trashcan, but that would not be done on a large scale.
Speed cameras on roads. On rural roads, they could be movable so they would not be on the same road all the time. On tollways and interstates, put them up every couple of miles. Allow for a 5 percent error. Ticket the car, not the driver. So if I am going 80 in a 70, I would get a ticket for speeding. Allowing for a 5 percent error, my ticket would be for 76 mph. Have different level fines....in city, rural, populated..... and issue a ticket to that car. So a person doing 80, would be charged with doing 76. At $25 per mile over the limit, the ticket would be $150. Owner of the license plate has 30 days to protest or pay. If you were not driving, then you have two options: Give police the name of the driver so the ticket can be sent. Pay the fine, collect the money from the driver.
Tickets do not count as a moving violation, but if you get 6 in a 6 month period, you have to go to driver school. People can opt not to get a ticket by not speeding.
License plate fees based on EPA mileage. If your car gets an EPA mileage of 50, you pay $10 for a plate. If it gets 45-50....$20 a year; 40-45...$40 a year; 35-40....$80 a year; 30-35 $160 a year; 25-35.. . $320 a year; 20-25..$400; 15-20; $500; 10-15..$750; under 10...$1500. Antique vehicles would be at a special rate. Electric vehicles would fall in with the 50 plus. Pick up trucks would be treated as cars.
Eliminate state gas tax. Instead, have an I Pass type device and sensors on all roads. Motorists pay a per mile driven fee. People who don't drive a lot will pay less than someone who puts 1,000 miles a week on a car.
Set pay limits of $10,000 for a state rep and $20,000 for a state senator. No per diems, no travel expenses. Turn the legislative branch back into a group of citizens, not professional politicians.
Each person at age 18 has to do two years of service. Could be military, could be like the CCC during the Depression. I someone has gaps in learning areas, additional schooling could be an option.
In road construction zones where lanes are closed, put up portable concrete barriers and traffic lights. If the left lane is closed, at some point the lanes have to merge. Put up a traffic light so people in one lane stop for 20 seconds, then go while the other lane stops for 20 seconds.
Ban all trucks from Chicago area expressways during rush hour, am and pm. From 7-9 and 4-6 cars should rule.
I guess that's it.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Does everyone do that?
I don't think I do a lot of normal stuff
I don't mean like washing under my arms and around the back of my neck....but normal stuff millions of Americans do.
I don't watch news on tv unless I can get a Chicago station like WGN. That means I don't watch Fox, CNBC, CNN or any of the other capital letter abbreviations. I don't like the way they do the news.
I don't watch Jon Stewart, even though I think he is pretty funny. Same with Fallon. I watched the first two weeks, then stopped.
I can't explain why.
I don't go to movies. Yes, there are shows I would love to see. I just don't go.
I always get into conversations with people who start with, "Did you see that special CNBC did on vampire ants?" And I have to admit I did not. I can not lie, because I don't know anything about blood sucking ants, except we elect them to office and can't seem to get them out.
I don't go to plays. Once in a while we splurge and go into Chicago for a big production show, but there are hundreds of playhouses in the northern Illinois area and I just don't go. I am in theater productions, but I don't venture out of my comfort zone to see what else people are doing in theater.
I recently started going to Jimmy Buffet concerts, but I wouldn't even have gone if Carrie hadn't told me it would be fun, plus they needed someone with a van to drive. I am going to my fourth Buffet show this August. And I did go to see Chuck Berry. But that's it. I don't even make it to the band concerts in Rochelle and they are free.
I don't think I am normal.
I have the last Downton Abbey episode taped, but it ran in April and I still have not watched it. And I love that show.
Sometimes I can't figure out me. I ride my bike, but not a lot. I clean, I read, I practice lines....but somewhere there is a part of me that must just lose a half day here, and a half day there.
Funny, in a way. Every day I get older. Like a pound of butter, I do have an expiration date. I really should be using the time I have left in a better way.
I don't mean like washing under my arms and around the back of my neck....but normal stuff millions of Americans do.
I don't watch news on tv unless I can get a Chicago station like WGN. That means I don't watch Fox, CNBC, CNN or any of the other capital letter abbreviations. I don't like the way they do the news.
I don't watch Jon Stewart, even though I think he is pretty funny. Same with Fallon. I watched the first two weeks, then stopped.
I can't explain why.
I don't go to movies. Yes, there are shows I would love to see. I just don't go.
I always get into conversations with people who start with, "Did you see that special CNBC did on vampire ants?" And I have to admit I did not. I can not lie, because I don't know anything about blood sucking ants, except we elect them to office and can't seem to get them out.
I don't go to plays. Once in a while we splurge and go into Chicago for a big production show, but there are hundreds of playhouses in the northern Illinois area and I just don't go. I am in theater productions, but I don't venture out of my comfort zone to see what else people are doing in theater.
I recently started going to Jimmy Buffet concerts, but I wouldn't even have gone if Carrie hadn't told me it would be fun, plus they needed someone with a van to drive. I am going to my fourth Buffet show this August. And I did go to see Chuck Berry. But that's it. I don't even make it to the band concerts in Rochelle and they are free.
I don't think I am normal.
I have the last Downton Abbey episode taped, but it ran in April and I still have not watched it. And I love that show.
Sometimes I can't figure out me. I ride my bike, but not a lot. I clean, I read, I practice lines....but somewhere there is a part of me that must just lose a half day here, and a half day there.
Funny, in a way. Every day I get older. Like a pound of butter, I do have an expiration date. I really should be using the time I have left in a better way.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Working under no pressure
My damn pressure washer won't work
I bought a pressure washer last year. My thoughts are it would be great to clean Emily's deck, my house, the driveway, the mower, wash the car....a whole variety of things for which I could use it.
I bought it on line...sometime last year. I don't know how much I paid. I don't have a receipt. I used it three times last year, putting it away in September.
This year I brought it out, fired it up, nothing. If it was a man, I would say it needs Viagra. But it's a pressure washer, so the big V is out.
I contacted the company and they have sent me a list of instructions for cleaning the inside in case it is filled with sediment. For someone who is certifiably ADD, the four steps of detailed instructions are all jumbled in my mind because I read one, then four, then the details on two and three.
The one exciting part, there is a nipple adapter I have to play with. Seriously. "Pour the vinegar into the garden hose inlet side of pump after removing the nipple adapter."
I have no idea what the hell a nipple adapter is! And yes, it sounds dirty!!
If I google it, does it show up on a NSA website for googling female body parts? That would not be good.
But the whole clean out process hinges on the idea that I have to run the pump. And the pump does not run.
I bought it on line through Walmart.....but I don't expect them to be very helpful. I don't have the box either.
What I do have is another piece of stuff that doesn't work, either because I messed it up last year or it was just a cheapo one to begin with.
In any case, I am frustrated, as usual. It would have been nice if I kept the receipt, the manual, the guarantee card, some proof of its existence.
If I did keep any of that, I put it someplace where I would not lose it, which means it's lost.
On the upside, I went to work on the garden at church and they still had the sunglasses I left there two weeks ago.
Once again, I am up to four pair. Wonder how long that will last.
I bought a pressure washer last year. My thoughts are it would be great to clean Emily's deck, my house, the driveway, the mower, wash the car....a whole variety of things for which I could use it.
I bought it on line...sometime last year. I don't know how much I paid. I don't have a receipt. I used it three times last year, putting it away in September.
This year I brought it out, fired it up, nothing. If it was a man, I would say it needs Viagra. But it's a pressure washer, so the big V is out.
I contacted the company and they have sent me a list of instructions for cleaning the inside in case it is filled with sediment. For someone who is certifiably ADD, the four steps of detailed instructions are all jumbled in my mind because I read one, then four, then the details on two and three.
The one exciting part, there is a nipple adapter I have to play with. Seriously. "Pour the vinegar into the garden hose inlet side of pump after removing the nipple adapter."
I have no idea what the hell a nipple adapter is! And yes, it sounds dirty!!
If I google it, does it show up on a NSA website for googling female body parts? That would not be good.
But the whole clean out process hinges on the idea that I have to run the pump. And the pump does not run.
I bought it on line through Walmart.....but I don't expect them to be very helpful. I don't have the box either.
What I do have is another piece of stuff that doesn't work, either because I messed it up last year or it was just a cheapo one to begin with.
In any case, I am frustrated, as usual. It would have been nice if I kept the receipt, the manual, the guarantee card, some proof of its existence.
If I did keep any of that, I put it someplace where I would not lose it, which means it's lost.
On the upside, I went to work on the garden at church and they still had the sunglasses I left there two weeks ago.
Once again, I am up to four pair. Wonder how long that will last.
How did that happen??
I did not post an entry yesterday, breaking the string
In my defense, I couldn't.
I usually do my blog entry at about 11 p.m. I don't know why. I think I have time to mull, ponder, consider, think, then decide on something goofy to write about.
Last night didn't work that way.
First, we are dog sitting. Emily has a greyhound that is being adopted. They will have to leash walk the dog, and since Emily has a fenced in yard, she does not often leash walk. But Dad can.
They also wanted to see how the dog behaved without other dogs around. This one is going to a home without other animals, and Em wanted to be sure she would do ok.
I didn't think about dogs going bathroom on a leash as opposed to off lease. ViVi does not like going to the bathroom on a leash. She also does not seem to like grass.
So I took her out every two hours, walked around the yard, walked to the corner, walked back in front of the house.
4 hours. No go. 6 hours. No go. 8 hours. No go
As a male with a prostrate, I began to admire her holding tank.
Throw in a storm. Getting her outside between rain, only to stand in an open field with lightning filling the skies, causes one to ponder the age old question: What the hell?
10 hours. Still nothing. We have by now lost power due to the storm. Emily brings over a crate for the dog, because Jackie and I are a little worried about having her (the dog) wander the bedroom when she hasn't used the bathroom.
I am now taking her out hourly.....11 p.m. nothing but lightning. So we put her in the crate. She begins to yowl. I take her out. Nothing. Crate. Yowl. After three trips, I move to the den and sleep in the Lazy Boy because Jackie can sleep through the howling.
At some point the power came on, lighting up all the parts of the house. Turn off the tv, the lights, take out the dog, crate the dog, go to bed.
Somewhere around 5:30 I found myself back in bed. Not sure when I went there...maybe sleepwalked my way from the den.
This dog has not gone to the bathroom since noon the day before.....17 hours!
She was yowling, so I took her out and as we walked she suddenly stopped and went. And went. And went. She got really frisky after that, jumping up and down like a rubber ball attached to a paddle.
We went back inside, I put a bed out for her, and we all went back to sleep until about 7:30.
Recapping: I missed rehearsal due to the storms. I missed sleep due to the storms. I am awake early due to the dog. I finally got the blog done, although my mind is blurry.
Think I'll go roll the lawn again.
In my defense, I couldn't.
I usually do my blog entry at about 11 p.m. I don't know why. I think I have time to mull, ponder, consider, think, then decide on something goofy to write about.
Last night didn't work that way.
First, we are dog sitting. Emily has a greyhound that is being adopted. They will have to leash walk the dog, and since Emily has a fenced in yard, she does not often leash walk. But Dad can.
They also wanted to see how the dog behaved without other dogs around. This one is going to a home without other animals, and Em wanted to be sure she would do ok.
I didn't think about dogs going bathroom on a leash as opposed to off lease. ViVi does not like going to the bathroom on a leash. She also does not seem to like grass.
So I took her out every two hours, walked around the yard, walked to the corner, walked back in front of the house.
4 hours. No go. 6 hours. No go. 8 hours. No go
As a male with a prostrate, I began to admire her holding tank.
Throw in a storm. Getting her outside between rain, only to stand in an open field with lightning filling the skies, causes one to ponder the age old question: What the hell?
10 hours. Still nothing. We have by now lost power due to the storm. Emily brings over a crate for the dog, because Jackie and I are a little worried about having her (the dog) wander the bedroom when she hasn't used the bathroom.
I am now taking her out hourly.....11 p.m. nothing but lightning. So we put her in the crate. She begins to yowl. I take her out. Nothing. Crate. Yowl. After three trips, I move to the den and sleep in the Lazy Boy because Jackie can sleep through the howling.
At some point the power came on, lighting up all the parts of the house. Turn off the tv, the lights, take out the dog, crate the dog, go to bed.
Somewhere around 5:30 I found myself back in bed. Not sure when I went there...maybe sleepwalked my way from the den.
This dog has not gone to the bathroom since noon the day before.....17 hours!
She was yowling, so I took her out and as we walked she suddenly stopped and went. And went. And went. She got really frisky after that, jumping up and down like a rubber ball attached to a paddle.
We went back inside, I put a bed out for her, and we all went back to sleep until about 7:30.
Recapping: I missed rehearsal due to the storms. I missed sleep due to the storms. I am awake early due to the dog. I finally got the blog done, although my mind is blurry.
Think I'll go roll the lawn again.
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