time to hit he road?

I had a serious talk about moving today

     With the howling wind, driving rain, freezing temperatures, crumbling roads, failing infrastructure, the dysfunctional government..... I thought it might be time to consider options.
     I ruled out Florida.  Too hot.  Too crowded with old people.  Alligators.
     Nix on Texas.  Too many Texans.  And rattle snakes.  And the view south may not be too good.
     No Arizona.  Too hot.
     No Nevada.  Too many gambling casinos and legal brothels.
     Hawaii?  Too expensive.  And too far.  Plus when the oceans rise, flooding could be a problem on an island.
     No California.  Too many earthquakes, droughts, floods, expensive housing, plus it is closest to the nukes, should they arrive in my lifetime.
     Tennessee?  I can't understand people from the south.
     I also thought about foreign countries.
     Belize..... does not appeal to me.
     Costa Rica.... just not sure about South America in general.
     France.....ahhhh......If I could.  But I know someone would not go with.  Same with Italy.  And Switzerland?  Julia would flip, plus we could not afford living there.
     I know I would be giving up Cubs baseball,  but after all, I have seen a World Series come to the north side.
    I would miss the people and friends, but they would always be welcome to visit for a day, or two.
    I did find one place that sounds ideal.
    There is a legal limit to the snow.
    And winter never starts until December, and exits March 2 on the dot.
    Summers linger to September.
    It only rains at night, after dark....and the morning fog must disappear by 8.
    It's a wonderful place.
    Maybe you'd like to join us there......if you know where it is, that is.
     I'll let you know when we relocate.