not you, again

I have found a sure fire way to get rich

      It's perfectly legal.  The start up costs may seem high, but this is a winner.
     And it all has to do with facial recognition software.
     And toilet paper.
     And China.
     This week the Chinese government announced that they were installing new toilet paper dispensers at the nations most visited sites.
     These are facial recognition devices.  You step up to it, it scans your face, and dispenses 2 feet of toilet paper.  It will not dispense more to you for nine minutes.
     Why?
     Because too many people are stealing the toilet paper at the tourist sites.
     I am certain that the toilet paper is a single ply.
     Putting it as delicately as possible, I don't think a single ply would work very well for the majority of people.
     And if you double the paper, you only get one foot.  Make it 4 ply and you get like a six inch piece, or tissue, as we call it.
    If you have great body control, you may be able to cobble enough paper for a comfortable sit after 27 minutes or so.
    So here is my plan.
    I go to China with a crap load (I think it's a clever pun) of toilet paper and sell it at the tourism sites for $1 per foot.
    This is grade A multi ply extra strength paper, the good stuff.  A little of this goes a long way.  Figuratively, a long way.
     I have in my basement about 747 feet of toilet paper.  I could stretch my paper from home to dead center at Wrigley and almost make it back to home again.
     I think I could get it all in one suitcase.  If I take two suitcases I could make almost $1,500!  And if I get it shipped to me in even larger amounts, I could truly be the toilet paper king in China.
     Now, you may think this is a pretty crappy idea, and in fact it is!
     But I think it's a winner.
    Anybody want to get on board with me????