the rest of the story

I did not have a great post prom experience

   Yesterday I mentioned my night of much anticipated senior excitement called prom was pretty much a dud.
    Our school had a tradition of going on a picnic the day after prom.
    The eight of us talked about it.  We set a time.  We set a destination.  We set a plan.
    At some ungodly hour seven of us drove in the clown car to Diane's house. She was my date.
    After a night of non dancing and limited conversation, I was hoping a day in the sun at a Wisconsin lake would be a redeeming end to the ordeal.
    We got to her house early.  It was after the sun rose, I remember that.
    We pulled up out in front.  No Diane.  We waited.  Five minutes. 10.  Maybe 20.
     I didn't want to ring the bell, our driver did not want to blow the horn.
     It was a warm morning, so I got out of the car and started calling, "Diane. Diane. Diane."
    Finally a head appeared and she said, in a much annoyed voice, "What do you want!"
    I reminded her we were picnicking.  She grunted and disappeared.
    She eventually came out, more sullen than ever, and the eight of us motored down the road.
    You have to understand, I am an idiot.
    Our driver, Bob, was kind of a tough guy.  He wore a white t shirt and had a pack of Camels tucked in under the sleeve.
     None of the other guys smoked.  He was the only one.
    So he drove and smoked.  I was in the back of the station wagon with John by the tail gate. No seats.  Every time we made a turn, John and I bounced from one side of the wagon to the other.  At least I think it was John.  It was 60 years ago, so my memory might be a little off.
We were rocking and rolling along and Bob said, very casually, "Any of you guys want a cigarette?"  I could not see his face, but I knew he was smirking.
    I said, "Yeah, I'll take one."  He was a little surprised, as was everyone else, but he passed back a Camel.
    I took it.  He said, "You need a light?"
   And I said the dumbest words ever recorded in the history of adolescence.
   "I don't need a light, I'm a man.  I eat them."
    And I bit off about half of the Camel and started chewing, paper and all.
    I think John was the first one to yell, "Pull over, now!"
    Luckily Bob did. Of course the sudden turn bounced us back and forth like like pin balls in a tilted machine.
    By then I had turned a shade of green that was.... far out of normal for a pasty faced white boy who never sat in the sun.  I did not feel well.
    Diane looked at me, shook her head and turned around.  I don't think she spoke to me the rest of the day or the remainder of the school year, another reason she didn't get prom pictures.
    Turned out that was the highlight of the day.
    We got to the lake, piled everyone out of the clown car, and went about picnicking.  The girls and two other guys took a nap.  John and I walked around the lake.  We were probably gone at least 2 hours.  No one noticed. When lunch came out, I just didn't feel like eating.  Cigarettes do that to you.
    Back in 1967 $100 was a lot of money to spend on one date, but it seems to me I spent a lot more than that on prom.
    I never got a dance.  I never got a kiss.
   But I think I may still have those pictures someplace.