and then I said....

I am a bit confused 

   If the news is not fake, then we are in trouble!
   I included a section in this original post that referred to an article satarizing the new education secretary and her math skills.  I should have pointed out it was satire.  But we had a candidate for treasurer for Illinois who did not know what 8 x 7 was.  Seriously.  She also missed  what nine threes were.  She said she was unprepared for the questions and had a brain freeze.  Seriously, just to stress the point.  I will not be surprised if we hear similar stories about our new secretary.
   Likewise there was a story about a basketball player who maintains the world is flat and that we have been lied to for all these years.
   So I am thinking, what other information isn't correct?
   I am going to provide  incomplete truths that the lieing (or is it laying?) media have been promoting all these years.
   Hear the truth!!  Or read it here, whatever.
   The moon is made of cheese.  Havarti, to be exact.   (Havarti is latin for can't shit.)  When the astronauts came back from their moon landing trips they were constipated for several days as a result of eating handfuls of moon cheese.  But the government does not want that information out for fear of a demand by lactose intolerant citizens that the moon be considered a hostile entity and that it be destroyed.
   Oceans are only 10 feet deep.  That is why you see so many people walking in them.  Mirrors at the bottom give the appearance of depth.  Proof?  How many of you have ever seen the Titanic in person? See?  Fake.
   Monkeys actually descended from man.  In a brief period after Noah rescued all the dinosaurs on the ark,  monkeys and apes ruled the world but because they did not have opposable thumbs, they lacked the ability to create language.  I still don't understand why he bothered with mosquitoes and gnats.  And I don't understand why gnats and gnu have a g in front either.  Don't get me started on knee, know, knew and knot.
   Satan created cable companies.  The proof is in the pricing.  Or maybe it was Stan.  An extra a does make a difference!
   Telemarketers are only doing their jobs and we should buy as much as we can from them to stimulate the economy.  They work hard to perfect their Indian accents.
   The Bears are an NFL team on the rise.
   Whew!!  I am tired.
    Exposing the truth is hard work.  Hard.  But I think I have done a wonderful,  just  a tremendous job in telling the truth.  Just ask me.  That's all you have to do to make it so!