Is it over?

What a terrifying night

   And no, that is not a comment on the speech given tonight.  I actually thought the speech was pretty good.  No details, of course, but all the things that people want.  Affordable health care, jobs, safe streets, great schools.  All things we want, and wanted for the past 8 years.   That's what makes me laugh.  Now the other party wants everyone to cooperate.  Whatever happened to the I will do everything in my power to make this man fail philosophy?  Shoes on the other foot, and it is not a good fit.
    I was referring to the weather.
    We have a new weather radio, and once I finally figured out how to turn it on, discovered it works really well.  Of course the tone is about the noise level of the storm sirens, but I eventually turned that down to a more acceptable level.
    We get reports from Ogle, Lee, DeKalb, Whiteside and a couple of other counties west and south of us, figuring most storms move from the south to the east and north.
    We did not go to the basement, and truthfully I don't know how I would get someone down there before the house ended up in Michigan.  So now we are going to head to the bathroom with a tub.  I'm telling people that just in case.
    I am storm crazy.  I get nervous.  I pace.  I look out the windows and doors.  I turn on the weather channel.  I listen to the alarm.  I pace.  And I nibble.
I may have even eaten a piece of cardboard tonight, thought it was a graham cracker, but I'm not sure.
   Anyway, all's well that ends well.  And it has ended up well here.  My heart goes out to the people in Ottawa tonight, they seem to have taken a hit from the storm.
    Hopefully the rest of the night, and spring, will be so quiet my radio won't have to make a sound.

should have looked

Sometimes I get in a rush

    Or maybe I am tired.  Or distracted.  And when that happens, I make simple mistakes.
    So, consider this a public service announcement.
    When washing your hair, do NOT grab the dog's specially formulated oatmeal shampoo that was accidentally left in the shower.  Yes, you hair may glisten and have that glossy coat look, but you smell like oatmeal the entire day.
    When brushing your teeth late at night, do NOT grab the tube of Desitin that was sitting in your drawer following last year's bike riding rash affliction.  Desitin does nothing for cavity prevention or teeth whitening.
    And if you still have that dry itchy feeling in your very private parts, do NOT liberally apply Vick's Vaporub instead of Vaseline.  You will find the Vick's has a warming effect, which soon turns into a third degree burn in areas you are not comfortable showing to medical staff of any kind, because they will ask you all sorts of questions you can not answer.
    When you see someone that does not look familiar, do NOT compare the approaching figure to a homeless person, vagrant, bum,  or weirdo unless you are absolutely sure they are not married to the woman you are talking to.  (Or with whom you are talking, if you prefer.)
    When meeting an old friend, do NOT ask where his/her spouse is until you are certain they are not involved in a bitter divorce featuring numerous police reports and restraining orders.
    When doing a DIY in the home, do NOT assume the power is off when hanging the new range hood.  Some kitchens have more than one breaker and pliers can act as a conduit for live power.
    And finally, when reading this blog, do NOT believe everything.  For example, some of these PSA's may not be based on my personal experience.  I'll leave that to your imagination.

highway 51 runs right by my baby's door

I once was a long haired folky type guy

   I took guitar lessons.  Hung around in Old Town.  Loved folk music.
Especially Bob Dylan, when he was Bob with nothing but a guitar and harmonica.
   Whenever I put an LP on in the house, my father would grumble and complain about "that idiot" singing "that music," which truthfully encouraged me to play it louder and more frequently.  By the way, an LP was a record...a vinyl disc that you played in a record player... just in case you are under 40 and reading this.  NOTE: my friend John said he is un der 50 and bought LPs....so I changed it to 40.  30 anyone???
   I was just looking  (The wonder of Google and Wikipedia) at all the songs he has written, and I am amazed how many times I have mentioned Dylan's work in daily life.
   Life's Hard, I often tell my wife.  And whenever she asks me who didn't refill the toilet paper, I tell her It Ain't Me, Babe.
   The other night I was late for dinner.  She asked me what took me so long and I told her I got caught at the railroad crossing in Flagg Center.   Slow Train, I told her, and there was No Time to Think about going a different route.  Being there was just a Simple Twist of Fate.
   And the weather?  I read the forecast for Wednesday and A Hard Rains a Gonna Fall.  There will probably even be Buckets of Rain.  I hope the garbage cans aren't Blowing in the Wind during storm.
   For supper tonight we had some food left over.  I pondered about saving it, but she said Better Throw it All Away, but I decided I Better Have It All.
   Guess I'm Doing Fine, but I Feel a Change Comin On.  After all, at my age I am Knocking on Heaven's Door.  But, Death is Not the End, after all, especially for a Clean Cut Kid like me.  Still, I better change and start getting serious about my ever growing gut.
   I don't want this to be In My Time of Dieing, and I know A Long Time Ago was when I should have made lifestyle changes.
  But as long as I Don't Think Twice, It's alright.
  Like I said, he wrote a lot of songs.

O is for Oscar

I'd like to thank my family....

   The Oscars are on tomorrow night and millions of people will be glued to their seats, anxiously awaiting the big events that make up the program.
   Will there be a wardrobe malfunction and a hidden part of the female anatomy suddenly is exposed?
   Which winner will  be the first to criticize the president or his policies?
   Which winner will defend the president?
   Which winner will go on and on and on in their acceptance speech, only to forget a spouse or other significant person in their life?
   And most of all...which movie will win.
   I have not seen any of the nominated movies this year.  Call me movie lazy, but I just haven't.
   Maybe they don't interest me.  So, if anyone with Hollywood connections reads this, here are some suggestions for movies that would interest me.
   Lost in IKEAland      This is based on the tv show lost.  Contestants are dropped off in an IKEA store and expected to survive five days without being found.  The winner gets one ton of meatballs and two jars of lingonberries.  Sauce sold separately.  Some assembly required.
   Flight 007     This exciting movie is based on a real event, not fake news!  Imagine the terror, humor, romance that envelopes  220 passengers on an airplane grounded in a small Canadian village due to engine failure.  Unable to leave the plane for 12 hours, this up close look inside the cabin shows the best, and worst, of humanity.
   Snowunbound     Follow the wild and crazy antics of Benny the snowplow driver as he handles record nonsnows in the winter of 2016/17.  Watch as he endlessly checks weather apps, greases his blade, and practises ramming mailboxes at 20 mph.  Learn how he has discovered the key to plowing in driveways seconds after residents clean them out.  Wacky mayhem on wheels.
   Unschooled   This clever comedy follows a public school as it begins to compete with charter schools after a takeover of the school system by morons.  Watch children react to learning the Earth is flat and the sun revolves around the Earth.  See the confusion on students' faces as they learn the Earth is really only 2,000 years old and Noah actually had dinosaurs on the ark, but giant mutated gorillas ate them for food.  And see the pride in creating a solemn ceremony for Bowling Green Massacre Day.  This could be a warm, yet funny, comedy.
   What the Fhappened    Done in documentary style, like "Best in Show" or "A Mighty Wind," this informative 90 minute documentary focuses on the last days of the Clinton campaign, including exclusive footage of busloads of Massachusetts voters driving to Hawaii to vote as well as interviews with 4.5 million other illegal voters who apparently exist in some one's mind.  It will be great.  Maybe the best movie of the bunch.  Tremendous.
   That's all for tonight.  Being creative hurts my head.  Or maybe it was the wine.
   Anyway, I won't be watching tomorrow night.  Maybe I'll rent a movie instead.

Wine and cheese in the museum today.... it was a nice time to visit with my brother from another mother

just thinking quietly

I have had some crazy thoughts lately

   I had a thought about Ted Danson.  You probably remember him from Cheers, where he played a pretty relaxed bartender.  Smooth actor, mellow fellow.  Then you watch him on Becker and he is totally opposite:  loud mouthed jerk who is quick to anger.  Even his body moves in a jerky style, like he is in spasms.  He was also on a show called Damages where he played a sleazy businessman and his character was totally different from the other two.  Makes me realize what a talent he is.
   I thought about winning $425 million in the Power ball game....but that did not last long.  Now I think about the people who won and how they are going to spend the money.
   I thought about Mike Pence and how he sleeps at night.  He didn't help Indiana citizens when their East Chicago area needed a clean up.  He wouldn't come forth with money, but his successor did.  Likewise, a man who served 9 years in prison for a crime he did not commit was not pardoned by Pence.  A pardon would have helped the man find work because he would not have a conviction on his record.  The new governor pardoned the guy, giving him a clean record.  Lax gun show regulations allow a flood of weapons into Illinois.  And his reluctance to embrace a clean needle campaign led to an AIDs epidemic in Indiana.  How does he sleep?
   I thought about why I love the foods that are bad for me.  Today I had pizza, eclair cake, and Ollie's custard.  Not exactly a balanced diet.
   I thought about exercising.  But I took a nap instead.
   I thought about finishing cleaning the house.  But I took a nap instead.   Do you see a pattern?
   Now it is just 10 and I am wide awake.
   I think I'll read and try to fall asleep.  Again.

Hello out there

Time to reflect on who is reading this

   Obviously my main reading audience is in the United States.  But I always get a little psyched when I hit the audience button in the stats section.
   I just checked and was amazed at where my audience lies.  (Or lays.  Or lives.  Pick one.)
   I would think Switzerland would be second on the list of where readers are.... but it is not!  Julia may be the only reader, so Craig, Yvonne, Kevin, Christina, Matt.... you are missing some funny stuff!
   But Switzerland is not second on the list.......France is!  Now maybe Carol and her family read it, I am not sure.  But France had four times the readers that Switzerland.
   After Switzerland came Portugal, Italy, Romania and Canada.
   I did get a comment from Giovanni......but I don't know where he lives.
Really.  Someone actually commented on the blog site.
   One day I think I will just ask people to post a picture on Facebook that shows where they live.  It might be fun.
   As a side note, I always have said if I had to pick another country to call home, it would be France.  I love the small towns, the bread, the language, the people, the wine.
   All I can say is Vive la France.
   And good night.

running out of Time

My Time magazine subscription has expired

   I did not renew it.  That's an obvious choice, since I have the issue dealing with the inauguration half read.  That seems to be my problem, I read a little, the next one comes, I read a little of that.
   My subscription runs out April 17....and I will not be renewing.
   Nothing against the mag, I just don't read it as often as I used to.
   But an article in a recent issue about aging caught my eye.
   There were lots of tips and hints on how to reach a ripe old age.  There was even a two page spread on cures for people to take to "cheat death."
   For example, in 1558 Luigi Camoro wrote a very popular series telling how to live a longer life.  His advice:  Moderation.
   In 1638 Tobias Whitaker advocated consuming wine.  My first thought when I read this was:  Is he related to my son in law?  My second thought was to open a bottle of red.  Not a thought, I guess, but a reaction to what  I read.
   In 1889 a 72 year old scientific type decided the key to long life was a series of injections.  What did he inject, you ask?  an extract of dog and guinea pig testes, testicular blood and seminal fluid.  I think I'd prefer an early death.
   In 1740 George Cheyne, a doctor who advanced vegetarianism as a way of life, suggested that only drinking water starting at a young age could lead to living to 100.  Note, that was before the invention of indoor plumbing.  I am sure George had plenty of trees in case he decided to test his theory.
   My favorite theory was from a German physician Christian Hufeland who advocated lying next to young women in bed.  This did become a common practice, especially among older men.  Sex was not involved, but being in the company of youth was the key.
   Sergi Voronoff, a crazy Russian, was an  early hacking promoter, but not he computer kind.  In 1920 he popularized the idea of transplanting testicular glands from chimpanzees and monkeys into men.  He claims to have done 1,000 procedures, and in doing so created a number of pissed off primate eunuchs.
   But there is no one single cure for long life. So I guess we are free to pick and choose.
   I kind of like the wine and laying next to young women, but I don't think Jackie will buy that one.  Maybe I can convince her it's for a good purpose...a longer life for me!

age 30??

I think I may be upset...I don't know

    I just saw a Facebook post on 20 things you forgot about by the time you reached 30.
    Hell, I forget 20 things by the time I reach lunch!
    I didn't read the post.  I figured I have my own list of things I can still remember.
    Buckingham.  As in fountain.  As a kid growing up in Chicago the telephone numbers started with a word, like Buckingham.  On the phone you dialed BU then the rest of the number.  BU 1 9206.  That was home for me.  But John may override my memory on this one.
   The 1959 White Sox World Series.  More specifically, the night they clinched the AL title in Cleveland. (Wonder if that will be a trend from now on.)  40 minutes after the game, Mayor Daley ordered the air raid sirens set off to celebrate.  It was 11:30 at night.  People panicked.  My older brother grabbed all the canned goods and headed to the basement
    I knew it was just a celebration of the Sox winning.
    Air raid drills.  We actually practiced getting under our desks at school in case the Reds launched a nuclear attack.  Then I read Hiroshima by John Hersey and realized the best drill was to drop our pants, put our head between our legs and kiss our sweet asses good bye because nothing survives a nuclear bomb.
    Skitching.  In Chicago, when the snow covered the roads, kids would grab the bumpers of slow moving cars and ski along behind them.  Very dangerous.
    Rotary phones.
    S & H Green Stamps.  I still have two sheets of them in case someone is just a little short.  Jackie and I have a picnic basket we got using those stamps.
    Chanting "Dump the Hump" at the Democratic National Convention festivities in downtown Chicago.
   National Tea food stores.
   Sawdust on the floor of the butcher shop on Ashland Avenue.
   Aladdin's Castle at Riverview.
   My youth.
   Kiddieland and Ride the Wall mini golf in Lincolnwood.
   From the land of sky blue waters....Hamm's beer.....
   Huh...can't remember where I was going with this.
   Oh well.  Sometimes I remember the past better than the current days.   Which isn't always a bad thing.
    Or is it?  I don't remember.

walking, walking, walking

Corki and I went for a walk in the woods today

   We joined my friend Todd and his two dogs, Roscoe and Maggie.
   As usual, Corki did her growl, bark greeting, but once we started walking she was fine.
   Unlike last week when we walked, she did not get a lot of burrs in her hair.
   It was worse.
   She got thirsty and, well....here's how it looked.

   Now this is a dog that does not like to take a bath and there she is....knee deep in a creek.

   I was worried about water quality, but Todd's dogs drink regularly from this without any ill effects....... so I figured, why not.

   Ok, she did get a little muddy.....and it took a long time to wash her off when I got home.

   But she had fun.

   This outing made me a little more optimistic about her social habits....she did not go crazy when Roscoe and Maggie showed up.  Maybe next time she won't bark at all.

   And it's hard to beat a walk in the woods on a beautiful sprinter day. 

   Yes, sprinter.  It's a combo of spring and winter, in case you did not figure that out.  I think we should use it anytime we have three or more consecutive 60 degree days in February.

   Join me in the movement!!

Poinsettias still blooming!

Shrub looks ready to leaf!  I hope it does not!!

a new world

I learned new stuff this week

   Tech stuff.  Hard stuff.
   Emily showed me how to download a podcast to my phone.  She also told me how to play it when I am driving, but I don't remember.  I think I just hit the play button on the phone and it should come through my speakers in the car.....I think.
   I learned how to use my passport for PBS.  We are  sustaining donors and because of that we can watch any show they run on demand on our computer.
   So, I watched the first three episodes of Sherlock, season 4.
   I love that show.  It is well written, quickly paced, and requires me to pay attention.
   I have Victoria on DVR, so I will being on that when it rains.
   Then it is on to Mercy Street, which I have to watch from the start.
   I should have done this during the winter, not when the weather turns warmer and the outside calls.
   But, I never did plan well.
   Next up....using the Apple TV to watch the shows on the regular tv so I can relax on the couch.
   Or not.

do as I say

I did a bad thing yesterday

   I included a story about the new education secretary and her saying a poll showed 40 percent of the people liked what the president was doing, so that meant the majority of people did.  The story was satire.  It was labeled satire.  I should not have used it.
   I do apologize.
   I am one of those who complains about people spreading false stories and here I go and do it.
   However the treasurer candidate who did not know 8 x 7 was real....you can Google the original news story.
   And the basketball player with the flat Earth belief also appears real as several sources have done stories on it.
   I will be more vigilant.  You deserve that.
   But it was funny.  And I really wanted to believe it because I find the woman so, so...... I can't even describe how I feel about her.
   But the next time I repeat a story describing her stupidity, I will make sure to verify it's truth.  That should be Tuesday.

and then I said....

I am a bit confused 

   If the news is not fake, then we are in trouble!
   I included a section in this original post that referred to an article satarizing the new education secretary and her math skills.  I should have pointed out it was satire.  But we had a candidate for treasurer for Illinois who did not know what 8 x 7 was.  Seriously.  She also missed  what nine threes were.  She said she was unprepared for the questions and had a brain freeze.  Seriously, just to stress the point.  I will not be surprised if we hear similar stories about our new secretary.
   Likewise there was a story about a basketball player who maintains the world is flat and that we have been lied to for all these years.
   So I am thinking, what other information isn't correct?
   I am going to provide  incomplete truths that the lieing (or is it laying?) media have been promoting all these years.
   Hear the truth!!  Or read it here, whatever.
   The moon is made of cheese.  Havarti, to be exact.   (Havarti is latin for can't shit.)  When the astronauts came back from their moon landing trips they were constipated for several days as a result of eating handfuls of moon cheese.  But the government does not want that information out for fear of a demand by lactose intolerant citizens that the moon be considered a hostile entity and that it be destroyed.
   Oceans are only 10 feet deep.  That is why you see so many people walking in them.  Mirrors at the bottom give the appearance of depth.  Proof?  How many of you have ever seen the Titanic in person? See?  Fake.
   Monkeys actually descended from man.  In a brief period after Noah rescued all the dinosaurs on the ark,  monkeys and apes ruled the world but because they did not have opposable thumbs, they lacked the ability to create language.  I still don't understand why he bothered with mosquitoes and gnats.  And I don't understand why gnats and gnu have a g in front either.  Don't get me started on knee, know, knew and knot.
   Satan created cable companies.  The proof is in the pricing.  Or maybe it was Stan.  An extra a does make a difference!
   Telemarketers are only doing their jobs and we should buy as much as we can from them to stimulate the economy.  They work hard to perfect their Indian accents.
   The Bears are an NFL team on the rise.
   Whew!!  I am tired.
    Exposing the truth is hard work.  Hard.  But I think I have done a wonderful,  just  a tremendous job in telling the truth.  Just ask me.  That's all you have to do to make it so!

 
 
 

oh my gosh

I watched the president's press conference today

   To be truthful, I only watched snippets.  I found cleaning toilets to be a much better alternative than listening.  (Turns out it is dealing with the same type of outcome.)
   It must be nice to boast about bigger than anyone's electoral college vote only to be told by a reporter that it really wasn't the biggest.  Then to say it wasn't your fault, you were only repeating what someone told you as your excuse for being wrong.
   And berating journalists for being mean and disrespecting him but when he calls on  a BBC guy he immediately says another fake news group and makes other snide comments.
   And for heaven's sake, when someone asks you something, answer the darn question.
   But for me the topper was the questionnaire his people sent out later asking  loaded questions about the media.  We've all heard about crafting questions to get the response you wanted, and that is what the penises working for him have done.  (I apologize for my language..... but I call it like it is.)
   I won't go into detail on the questions, but go to mashable.com and you should be able to find the survey.
   And I am sure it is an unbiased survey, as it is going out only to his supporters.
Holy crap.....it was truly weird.
   I will give him credit for predicting that the media would dwell on his ranting and raving at the press conference.  That was not exactly right, but most of the reports were on how confusing and bizarre it was.
   And then there is the Fox News guy who ripped on the president for how he dealt with a CNN reporter's question.  Fox News.  Ripped on the president.
   Now that should get headlines.

looking for an island

The news is just too depressing

     The two girls in Indiana, the three children in Chicago, the constant shootings, the failure of the state of Illinois, the inadequacy of the presidentcy and the possible illegal activities of his staff...... all make me want to disappear to a remote island.
     What has happened to us as a society?

happy day to you

I hope you all had a happy Valentine's Day

   I cooked a couple of steaks on the grill and nuked some potatoes.  We enjoyed some carrots from our garden, so it was a pretty good meal.
   Of course, any time you have beef it is good.
   If you want a neat story about the day, or just a neat story about restaurants, look up Found in Chicago's northern suburbs.
   It seemed like a place I would like to patronize.
   Anyway, hope your day was filled with love, either for yourself or your family or your friends or your neighbors.
   As a good friend of mine once said, "All you need is love.  Love is all you need."
   And on that note, good night.

not again

I have to eat better

   NO, I am not talking about the food, or the quality of the food.
   I mean hitting my mouth.
   I had a sweatshirt on today and I had to change after lunch because of the soup drippings down the front.
   So I put my Wrigley Field shirt on.  After supper I was laying on the floor and Corki came up and started licking food off my sweatshirt!  Now I have bits of macaroni and cheese and dog snot covering the front of my shirt.
   I can not afford to go through a shirt at every meal!
   I can't stop eating.  No, seriously...I can't stop.  A meal is just a meal, but I snack constantly before and after.  No wonder I am gaining weight.  And every time I eat something I seem to driibble!
   Coffee from Cypress House?  Dribble down my shirt.
   Pancakes and syrup?  My shirt ends up  like fly paper....sticky and attracting bugs.  And spots.
   I just don't get it.  I try, I really try to be neat, but it never seems to work.
   Maybe a liquid diet using straws and sippy cups is the answer.  But how do you liquify french fries?

feeling better

When my mood is rotten, other's misery makes me better

   I know, I should not revel in other people's misery.
   But seriously.......
   I read an article about a New York couple who were getting married in a big hoop de do affair.  But at the rehearsal dinner, all hell broke out and the wedding was called off.
   The article said the reception was a $1,100 per head affair, and about 200 guests were expected.  In other words, their reception would have been almost what I earned in 10 years of teaching.
   And the ex bride to be was refusing to return the $125,000 engagement ring!
   After reading that, I immediately felt better about my status.
   Then there was the story from San Francisco about the 100 year old woman evicted from her apartment!  100 years old!!  No, that did not make me laugh because it was not funny, just sad.  But again, I was glad I was not the sheriff who had to do the evicting!
   And there is a Facebook video about a woman, maybe in Connecticut, who was in court for a parking ticket.  She parked in a zone where parking was banned until 10 a.m.  Her ticket reflected she parked in the spot at 9:59:58, or about 2 seconds before she was legally allowed to park there.
   When the city attorney said a law is a law, the judge and victim burst out laughing.
   The judge tossed the case.
   And justly so.
   But the lady had to take the time to go to court, wait for her case to come up, plead her case......all because of 2 seconds.
   Sometimes the lack of common sense in other people makes me feel better about my state.

what to do...what to do

Life is sometimes a quandary

    Coming back from DeKalb today, I was behind a little SUV that did not seem to have brake lights.  When he stopped, no lights went on, or none that I saw.
    So I pulled up next to him at a stop light just to give him a heads up.
Honked.  Honked again.  Honked three times.  (Wait a minute....that sounds like a song  Knock three times yada yada yada, twice on the pipes....) But he never looked over.
    Just being a nice guy, but then I thought what if he is a nut?  What if he thinks I am a smart Alec and shoots me?  What if he goes ballistic and runs me off the road?  What if he tweets about me?
    So I let him drive on.
    I have not confessed my sin to my wife yet, so she will yell at me when she reads this.
    I did not get coffee today.  But I did stop at he Mexican ice cream place on Lincoln Highway.  I sampled the tequila and nut ice cream, but it did not hit the spot.  I got rompope and coffee.  The rompope had raisins in it and it was actually very good.  BTW, rompope is eggnog.  If you have not tried any, you might want to venture in.  I think it is Michoan, or something close to that.
    What to do part two.  The screen on my dryer is broken.  So I went to the web site and typed in the model number, which does not seem to exist.
    I went to live chat and she gave me the correct model number and the website.
The filter costs $31.  So I put it in my basket and went to check out.  Shipping is $23.
    Unfreakin' believable.
    I cancelled my order.
    Maybe the appliance repair guy has it cheaper, or without the shipping.
    $23 is a lot of ice cream.   I mean coffee.  I mean moolah.  That's it.  Moolah.

all my fears rolled into one

I had a nightmare last night

   Well, technically it was this morning because it woke me up about 5:30.
   I know, many of you are already up and about at that time, but my wake up call is usually about 3 hours later.
   Anyway, I have vivid dreams.  I used to keep a dream journal and have a notebook or two filled with the nocturnal meanderings of my mind.
   But last night was very different.  There were no monsters, no people breaking in the house, no car crashes, plane crashes, or trains flying off the tracks as I sit \n traffic wondering if I can outrun the speeding locomotive  sliding on the ground toward me, sparks flying all over the place and me peeing in my pants.
   No, not that kind of nightmare.
   This was a very realistic, very natural, very common happening type dream.
   I went to an event in Chicago.  I was with someone, but that part is a little fuzzy.  I parked my car in a lot and walked to the event.  The other person and I left the event and walked back to the car.
   Here's the truly frightening part.  I could not remember where I parked!  We walked forever.  We even took a cab up and down streets but I could not find the lot.
   Why is that scary?
    I don't want to be the guy who goes out for the paper and is found four days later in Memphis, dirty, broke and confused.
   I know I joke about it, but every time I forget something I wonder.....is this a sign of things to come?
   My pops had Alzheimer's, but back then everyone called it senility.  I remember what his life was like......and I don't want that for me or my family.
   That dream created a high level of anxiety in me!  My dream self was extremely agitated and panicking.....sort of how I felt when I woke up.
   Hopefully I will have quiet dreams tonight......or at least dream of things not quite so scary, like a 9 foot green lizard breaking into the house.

oh no...I hate that!

I've been thinking of things I really don't like

   Plastic grocery bags.  Trees, fence lines, ditches, farm fields are filled with them.  They must blow out of every garbage truck that goes down 39 or 88.  I carry reusable bags to the store but I still get plastic bags!  They multiply in the garage.  I truly hate them.
   A digression. most of you know about Ghost Dog, who inhabits the area near the cemetery on Flagg Road.  Well, the other day I saw Ghost Cat!  Seriously!  I was driving down 251 when I saw this white form stealthily going through a field.  I slowed down and stared.  Much to my amazement, it looked at me and turned out to be A DAMN PLASTIC BAG!  Ghost cat indeed.  Going to the eye doctor Monday, by the way.
   ATVs and snowmobiles.  I really don't like that people think they have the right to ride them anywhere just because they own one.  They are noisy and they smell.  The machines, not the riders, although that may also be true.  Same for dirt bikes.
   White gym shoes on old men.  Come on, you are not fooling anyone.  And by old, I mean older than me because I am still middle aged, if I live to 136.
People who ask me questions thinking I will give them the right answer.
   Having cars with gas caps on different sides.
   The thinking that more guns is the answer to gun violence.
   Always misplacing my car keys or phone.  Why can't I have a phone that is a car key?
   Technology, in general.
   My man boobs.  Carrie, you were always right.
   Not having enough time or space to list the other 21, 746 items on my list.

bucket lists and all that stuff

I have a never ending bucket list

   It seems to grow.  I take one item off, put about 10 on.
   So what types of items are on my bucket list?
   Some are crazy.... like walking through a redwood tree or hugging a giant sequoia tree.
   Some are whimsical.  Taking a carriage ride through Central Park.  Meeting Tom Hanks.  Having a beer with Christopher Moore or Carl Haiison.  Having coffee with Donna Leon and walking the streets of Venice with her and Guido.  
   Of course, several involve travel to foreign lands.  Staying in a chateau in the Loire Valley and cycling through the countryside.  Visiting the underground bunkers in Berlin.  Going on safari in Africa. Biking through France.  Following the Tour de France for a few days.
   I'd love to sing the stretch at Wrigley.  I don't think I'd like to throw out the first pitch because I don't want to embarrass myself.
   Finishing the books I have started.  And getting them published.
   Winning the lottery.  Having a couple of hundred million smackeroos would help me achieve some of these.  It would help with the funding research into cures for MS, I think.
   Seeing polar bears at Churchill, watching the northern lights, viewing a meteor shower in a place where there are no lights to interfere.
   And some I have done, but would do  again.  Like biking in Holland, or walking the beaches at Normandy.  Going to Cuba.  Time in France.
   Somewhere in my desk I have a folder marked "bucket list."  I created it several years ago.... I wonder what I have done that was on it?
   And I wonder what I have added to it, at least in my mind.
   I guess that is why I like books and the internet.... they can take me places that I can't visit.  Yet.   But I still have time, I hope!

trying to laugh

I think my sense of humor is going

   I don't see anything funny about Washington.  Seriously, it hasn't even been a month and I keep thinking he can't say or do anything dumber than what he has done and then he does!
   It almost makes me want to start drinking again.  Oh, wait.  I never actually stopped.
   I do have some happy news.
   I finally put my license plate holder on.
   Take a look:

   You may notice how dirty the car is.... guess I will have to get it washed soon.
   The plate holders are the only clean part of the car.
   Read it here:  I will go to a Cubs/Red Sox World Series game in Chicago next fall.
   You heard it here first.

these 2 feet were walkin

I went for a couple of walks today

   My friend Todd lives by Skare Park and walks in the park regularly.  I decided to join him and his furry companions today.
   I probably should have told him ahead of time.
   By the time I got to the park, he was already on the trail.  I took some pictures, fussed around, and saw him coming across the driving range.
   We talked, and I said I would tell him ahead of time when I plan on going.
    I used to go to the park a lot.  But I have not been there for a couple of years.
   As I walked  I stopped to say hello to my old friends, the oaks.  They look a little beat up, but they are strong and still standing.  I was amazed to see the hollow tree still up.  When I taught, our end of the year picnic was there and kids loved to stand inside the old tree.
    I had gone a ways down the trail when I realized why I had been avoiding the park.
    The April tornado went through here on its way to destroying Emily's house and several other homes in our area.
    Hard to believe that was 2 years ago in April.  Time flies.
   As I stood among the fallen trees, I suddenly started crying.  Can 't explain it, just started bawling like a baby.
   And I gave thanks....for my family.  For the trees.  For Emily and John and Camryn not being in the house.  For Erin having sense to go to the basement.     For all the people who may have lost homes but not lives.
    Maybe that's why I hadn't gone through the park.  I didn't want to see the reminders of the storm that forever altered our lives.
    Now I have, and maybe that's good.
   We'll see Wednesday.

I love oak trees

The hollow tree... still standing

A tangle of trees

paper wasp nest

Met a fun guy  (fungi, get it?  Ha Ha Ha)

Shh....it's sleeping

holy cow!!!

I had a lot of likes today

     No, not talking about Facebook or this blog, although I like it when you like me.  Call me a self centered narcissist if you like, but I do appreciate being liked.      No political bent intended.
     I liked the Super Bowl tonight.
     I liked the Bud commercial.
     I liked the Melissa McCarthy Honda commercial.
     I liked the Route 84 commercial, but I don't really remember if that was the right company or what they actually do, lumber, maybe.
     I liked the half time show.  Actually, I loved the half time show!  Lady Gaga is amazing...I have always admired her vocal talents.  And tonight I was amazed by her physical moves in high heels.... how limber she was.
     I liked the previews for Genius and will put it on my list of shows I intend to watch but never seem to actually watch.
     I liked that the crowd at the party I was at was well behaved.  Corki and Jackie did not bother me much, except when someone had to go out.  Guess who that was.
     I liked my afternoon nap today, except it was too short.
     And now, for something different.
     I went to a bakery in Western Springs on my way home from the zoo.  It was only 5 minutes out of the way.
     I googled bakeries and it showed up, reinforcing my belief that Google is the most powerful force on Earth.
     I bought a cherry coffee cake, 2 eclairs, and a half pound of tea cookies.  (These are small cookies with various toppings, designed for tea time.)
     I took out 2 $20 bills, expecting the total to be somewhere in between.
     Boy was I shocked.
     My total for the coffee cake, (which was at least 18 inches long...huge!) eclairs and cookies........$14.59.
    I thought it was a mistake, but no.
    This is a neighborhood bakery and when I went in, I just started inhaling deeply.  It smelled delicious.  Cakes, breads, cookies, pastries....and no coffee.  It was a bakery.  How I miss those types of shops.
     Anyway, I will go back for potato bread and another coffee cake.
     Because, it's another thing I like.

long day....

I am really tired

   Had a long day at the high school.....followed by about two hours of driving an elevator at From the Heart.
   Driving an elevator is not easy...I got lost once.  And I lost the elevator once.
   Bakeries are on my mind.  I'll tell about that tomorrow, when I am awake.
   I will be watching the Super Bowl tomorrow night.  Go Bears!!

say that again

I think I am losing my mind

    I have been hearing some weird stuff lately.
    This morning, NPR was interviewing a spokesman for the president.  He was asked questions and gave his answers.  The interview was going along when he was asked whether or not this president considered Islam a religion.  The man said, "I don't know.  I don't speak for the president.  You have to ask him."
    You're a spokesman!!  You do speak for the president!!  Otherwise nobody would be paying any attention to you.
    Then I ran into somebody today I have not seen in a few months.  She asked me how life was like in Medinah.  I told her I did not know, because I lived in Rochelle.  Then she asked me if I was sure!  Three more times she expressed confusion, as if I did not know where I lived.  I do.  At least for now.
    And whenever I lose something, I am asked, "Where did you put it?"  If I knew where I put it, it wouldn't be lost!
    I also have to apologize to all the students I had.  I failed to teach about the Bowling Green Massacre.  I admit my liberal leanings caused me to gloss over this important nonevent in our history.
    And legislation designed to protect seniors and others with IRA accounts is being considered for eliminating because it is too hard for investment officials to be on their clients side?  That has to be a joke.
    But it's better than the class action medical ads that say if you have been injured or killed you may have a claim.  Sorry, but if I have been killed, I am not claiming anything.... except a do over.
    I swear.... I am losing my sanity.

woe is me

I am a putz

   Actually, I don't know what a putz is, but I am one.
   And it doesn't mean nice guy, go getter, fun guy to be around.
   I am a putz,
   A friend invited me to go walking today.  I really wanted to go, but I checked the outside temp and it was cold.  Very cold.
   So I stayed in bed.
   Let's review:
   I get invited to do something, and I don't go.
   I complain about my ever expanding waistline, but I don't exercise.
   I talk the talk, but I don't walk the walk, figuratively and in this case, literally.
   Later, I went out to pick up dog (and deer) droppings and realized.....it was damn cold!
   But it didn't stop my friend from walking.  And my side of the park had three cars there at 9 a.m., people walking or doing disc golf, which also puts them outside.  In the cold.  Freezing cold.
   About the deer droppings.  I think Corki has developed a nose for those, and maybe an appetite.  So I now scrape up dog doo and deer doo.  If there was a mountain, I'd probably scrape up Mountain Dew.  (PepsiCo: note the clever word play and obvious product placement.  Your financial support would be appreciated.)
   Anyway, next week I will do better.
   Next week.
   It's always next week with me.
   What a putz.

wow....that's all.....

I just had a flashback

    1967.  Jefferson Airplane.  Grace Slick.
    Listening to the music tonight on the radio....the radio!!... brings back a flood of memories.
    Today....Somebody to Love..... White Rabbit.....wow.  I think I am 19 again.
WNIJ is playing early Airplane, even before Surrealistic Pillow, one of the first acid rock albums I ever bought.
    The summer of love...... peace..... hippies.....  Grannie glasses.  .... Grannie skirts
    OMG....I am old.
    Gracie Slick had the greatest voice in that era.  I think.  Better than Janis, and Michelle, and Cass.......
    So much for going to bed early.
    I have to listen.  Maybe turn out the lights and drift back to a different time, a different me.
    Good night