Whaa whaa whaa

I have to get a blood test tomorrow

     For 99 percent of the population, that is no big deal.
     But for the 1 percent like me, it is.  (Huh.  I am in the wrong 1 per cent.  I would rather be in the have so much money don't know what to buy next 1 per cent.  But I digress.)
     I don't like needles.
     I don't like shots.
     I don't like blood draws.
     Never have.  Never will.
     When I was in high school, or maybe my freshman year at college, I had a wisdom tooth that needed to come out.  My family dentist said I needed to go to an oral surgeon.
     So I went to this man, who was on the sixth or seventh floor of a building down by Lawrence and Broadway in Chicago.  The El tracks were right outside the office, but several stories down.
     I thought they were just going to look at the tooth and schedule an appointment.
     But the nurse gave me a shot.  When I saw the needle, I got woozy.  After the shot, I swear the El tracks came right up to my nose, spun around 10 times, then went back down and repeated their crazy dance.
     And I almost fell out of the chair.
     I had to lay down.
     In a little while, they put me back in the chair and he eventually pulled the tooth.  He then packed my mouth with gauze and sent me home.
     It was about 95 degrees.  And since I came from a car less family, I was used to walking so I didn't bring any money for bus fare.  I walked about a mile and a half home, in the heat, mouth packed with gauze that by the time I got home was all bloody.
    And all the way home I was thinking, what kind of doctor pulls a tooth on a 17 year old kid who doesn't have any money,  or a parent with him, or even asks how I'm getting home?  Come to think of it, I don't know if he even got paid for pulling it.  Oh well.
     But, again I digress.
     When Jackie and I went for a blood test to get married, I nearly fainted.
     When I looked at Emily's finger with the pin in it, I nearly fainted.
     When I got my first blood test to check my liver because I take a cholesterol medication, I nearly fainted.  The second time, I had to lay down, because....well, you finish the sentence.
     Now I take off my glasses, look the other way, sometimes I hum a Beatles tune, and I talk constantly.
     I ask if the needle is new.  If the person is experienced.  If there is any risk of a natural disaster during the time my blood is actually being taken.
     The nurses laugh, because they think I am joking.
     But I am not.....I don't like needles.
     Emily gives me flu shots and I am fine, as long as I don't look at her, the needle, the arm, the medicine packet.  And I close my eyes and hum.  I am better, but not great.
     I envy people, like Jackie, who sit down and get poked and are fine.
     I don't think I will ever reach that level.