oops....I'm not a chef

I failed at a simple task last night

     I wanted to make chocolate covered pretzels.  I wanted to do white chocolate and milk chocolate.
     I thought it would be easy.
     I got the white chocolate and put it in a double boiler and set the temp on high.  Then I sat back and waited.
     Well......turns out double boilers are tricky.  Don't let the water boil real rapidly.  Oops.  Make sure water doesn't boil into chocolate.  Oops.    Don't have the flame on high.  Oops.  Stir constantly.  It didn't look soft enough to stir.
   Result:  A glob of white chocolate that would not stay on a pretzel rod, spoon, or anything else.  It was pretty crumbly.
    So, second attempt.  (After wifey suggests using the microwave.)  I use a sauce pan and put it on low heat.  And stir.  And stir. And wander off to do something.  And stir.   And keep it on the flame.  And wander away.  Result:  A crumbly mess that doesn't stick to spoons or pretzels.
     So I put it in the microwave.  I use my third batch of white chocolate chip morsels (is that an oxymoron?) and put the microwave on for one minute.
    Have you ever seen white chocolate form a cloud and rise to the top of a pan?  I have, and it is kind of neat but it produces a crumbly mess that does not stick to spoons or pretzels
     Jackie then takes another batch and nukes it for 20 seconds and stirs.  Puts it in 20 seconds and stirs.  Puts it in 20 seconds and stirs.  Turns out nice and creamy and goes on pretzels.  Lesson learned:  Listen.
     Today I made some short bread.  This is my second batch.  The first batch did not turn out as well as I hoped, so I had to eat it.
     This batch was much better.
     I had an Uncle Jim, who had a wonderful Scottish lady living with him.  I always thought Minkie was Jim's mother, but brother Carl told me no, they were not related.  She just lived with them.  She was considerably older than Jim but I loved the gal.  She taught me how to make pink tea (tea, cream and plenty of sugar) and how to drink it from a saucer.  She also made the best short bread I have ever eaten.  She had no recipe.  Later in life, she told me how to make it, but nothing was written down.  I followed her directions but it never turned out as good as hers.  I keep trying, but it doesn't happen.  I may have to go to a psychic reader to get the answers.
     And Jackie did the chocolate pretzel rods.   First try, everything worked well.
     I guess I am not meant to be a chef, or even a guy who can prepare basic food.
     But thanks to my wife, we have what I started out to make.
     All in all, it was a good day and a half.