Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat

I am not quite ready for Christmas

     I have only watched one movie, and that was Miracle on 34th Street.  I watched that over Thanksgiving.  I am not counting Tammy as a holiday movie.  Jackie wanted to see that this summer but we never made it to the theater.  In all honestly, I didn't think it was that funny.
     The outside decorations are up.  The lights are not timed properly, but they eventually go on and off.  It would be nice if they were in the same time zone.  One item does not go on at all.  It worked in the basement!
     The downstairs tree has not been trimmed yet.  It is up, and the freshly molded plastic branches have tenderly and lovingly been fluffed to perfection.  I had to buy more lights, then never got back to finishing it.
     But the big job is my annual Christmas letter.
     For those of you unfortunate enough to get one, I do a false letter, then on the back, I do a real letter.  I have been doing this for years.
     The first one I sent out started nicely, but went on this crazy, bizarre, downward spiral that was so ludicrous, it turned out actually funny.
     A guy I went to college with called me about it.  He said he opened the card, saw the letter, put the letter aside, and ignored it.  His teenage daughter found it, picked it up and started reading it.  She burst out laughing and when David asked what was going on, she managed to stammer, "Read the letter!" He did, then he called, all the way from Delaware.
     I wish I had kept a copy of that letter.  And of all the other ones.
     I think I wrote some pretty funny stuff.
     But this year?  Nada. Zilch.  Can't get my mind wrapped around funny.  And the pressure is on.  Cards have to go out in the next week.  Julia gets home Sunday and the downstairs tree needs to be trimmed.  The house cleaned. The lights adjusted.  Mickey set up.
     At some point I have to go shopping.
     And Saturday, celebrate our anniversary by...... going to the zoo.  Someone said they didn't want to go out to dinner until Julia was home, so I asked if she minded that I volunteered at the zoo Saturday. She said no, I said yes.
     As heard on Chicago Cubs radio:  Yes, dear.  You're right.  I'm sorry.
     Or something like that.