I'm seeing spots

What am I doing to my shirts?

     I have a bunch of shirts I really like to wear.
     They are long sleeved, warm, and very stylish.  (Realize, I have worn the same pants for 8 years and they are still stylish.  At least in my mind.)
     I have spots on the shirts.
     Huge spots.
     Giant spots,
     Enormous spots.
     I swear, they go into the laundry without spots and come out with spots!  I have tried washing them in cold water, by themselves, inside out, and I still have spots.
     Some of them are a real mess.  OK, those are the ones I MAY have dripped some food on, or spilled some tea on, but I did pre-treat them with Oxyclean.  The commercials are wrong....not every spot comes out!
     It doesn't matter who  made them or where they were made.  China, Viet Nam, Suriname, Sri Lanka, the old guy at the corner with the funny looking wart on his nose....they all come out spotted.
     It's a lucky thing we are in the warmer spring weather.  Otherwise I'd still be wearing them because they are nice and warm.  Spots and all.
     Like I did today.
     Funny how I don't notice the spots when I leave the house....it wasn't until I was in the public eye that they became visible.
     Maybe they are magical spots?  They only come out when they can embarrass me.
     Like the acne on my face in high school.  It started when I was 13 and ended when I was 46.  And no, sex does not make it go away.
     But that's a different story.
     Good night.