where is the Puffs tissue?

I am a baby when I am sick

     First, I have to point out it is April 1.  That means I have gone the entire winter without being sick.  No cough.  No sniffles.  No sneezing.  No sore throat.
    I even went walking outside on Monday because it was warm.  It was a little windy, but it was warm.  (I did see a house fly past and watched it land on a little green witch.  Oh wait!!! I am hallucinating!!!  That is the next VCCT show in the summer.)
    When I got home I was hot, then cold; hot , then cold.  Even the lentil soup I had for supper didn't hit the spot.  (Come to think of it, it was lentil soup with beans and probably would never hit the spot.)
    When I woke up Tuesday I was tired.  My throat was scratchy.  I was coughing.
     I have a cold.
     I don't like it when I have a cold.  Julia has these great tissues in Switzerland.  They have menthol in them so when you blow your nose it is soothing.  I am going through those like water.
     I have made tea with honey.  I have had lots of liquids.  I decided on a grape product tonight and it proved quite tasty washing down my spinach pizza.  (Do you see a trend here?  Lentil Soup?? Spinach pizza?  I am sick,  I tell you.)
     Tonight I will lather on some Vick's Vapo Rub  to keep my sinus packages open and productive.  (Word of caution.  If you must use a Vaseline type ointment on your derriere in the middle of the night, turn on the light.  The Vick's jar, with it's soothing Mentholatum ingredient, is quite similar in size to the Vaseline jar.  Different use, folks.  Different use.)
     I have had some cough syrup.  OK, it expired in November, but it should still have some potency.  So maybe I should double the dose.
    My head hurts.  I have a headache every time I cough.  I won't take any Tylenol, but I will take some ibuprofen. (Generic from Walgreen Drugs, of which I am a stockholder and hear-by publicly commend them for continuing to sell cigarettes because that creates profits.  Have you seen how much a pack of smokes cost?  Yikes.  And people still smoke.......)
   And tomorrow, instead of cleaning house, I think I am going to make some tea with lemon, snuggle up in a sleeping bag downstairs, and watch tv all day.  I am sick.
    But please, don't send flowers, or candy, or young, beautiful (but of legal age) scantily clad nursing students who will  insist my temperature and pulse must  be taken regularly.
     Holy crap, I must be sick!