Oh, the books I would write

I wrote a book

     I finished it several years ago.  I sent it to a publisher.  I received in reply.....an empty envelope!
     I was crushed.  I do have a very fragile ego.  A large ego, but fragile none the less.
     Getting a rejection letter is upsetting.....but getting an empty envelope is worse!!  Was the book so bad they did not want to waste time and paper sending me a rejection?
     I went on line and read about getting a book published....finding an agent, finding a market, sending out dozens of copies of the manuscript.  I did none of those.  I sent the manuscript.  Period.  One publisher.  One manuscript.
     Now I have a  book, extremely well written, I may add,  sitting in my desk drawer.  So here is the dilemma:  do I photocopy it and send it to several publishers?  Do I try to find an agent who will deal with an unknown author?  Do I consider self publishing a book?   Why is Moscato wine so sweet??
     By the way, self publishing a book does not make you an author.  It makes you a person with some spare change who found a printer to print the book.  I read a self published book once and it was so terrible I actually stopped reading everything for hours on end once I finished the self published book.  It was excruciating, like having a teacher drag their nails over a chalkboard.
     (OK, explanation:  A chalkboard was usually a  black writing surface, sometimes green,  that hung in classrooms.  Early chalkboards were made of slate.  Teachers, and students,  would use the chalk board to teach math, science, art....everything.  They used these little pieces of Tums like material squeezed into a tube shape  called it chalk.  On the second day, they rested.)
     This "book" (feel free to use air quotes) had improper punctuation, subjects did not agree with verbs, some words were spelled wrong, sentences were run on.  Or incomplete.  It was like watching the Cubs bullpen in the ninth inning of a close ballgame.....horrible.
     And here is another problem.  I write when I am upset, depressed, worried, bored, not playing solitaire or not checking Facebook.  I have three novels I am working on.  Three.  I work on one for a while, then get bored and switch to a second.  Then I get bored and go back to the first, or the third.  Actually, the third I have all but abandoned at this point.   All but.
      At some point I will finish one of them.  Maybe both.  Then what do I do?
      By completing them I have increased my chances of rejection several fold.  If I send out 20 copies of three books to publishers, that is 60 rejection notices.  I CAN'T HANDLE THAT MUCH REJECTION!!!!
     After I am dead, someone will find them and send them to a publisher.  I will be noted as a famous author, who died before anything was published.  The books will sell millions of copies world wide and my ego will be sufficiently stroked.
     But I won't know any of that, will I?
     So, pardon me if I go back to the second novel for a while.  Or maybe the third.  I can't decide if my character is going to save the chicken family from the fox or fry them up for supper.