Where has the time gone.....

I always wanted to be on Saturday Night Live

     Watching the show tonight brought back so many memories.
      John Belushi dishing up cheeze bourgers, cheeze bourgers, Chris Farley living in a van down by the river, Jane, you ignorant slut,  the Blues Brothers, all those images fly through my mind watching tonight.
     Deep down inside I always wanted to audition for the show.  Go to New York, cold, and try to audition.  I have no idea how that works.
     By the time the show started, I was married with one child and there was no way I could have taken that chance.
     At one point they had a contest for someone to guest host the show.  I sent in my entry, but the winner  was an 82 year old lady whose 25 words or less entry was something like:  My doctor said I don't have long to live.
     I know I would have wowed them with my quick, rapier like wit.
     I also think of Chris Farley and John Belushi, incredible talents and incredible futures who were not strong enough to fight their demons.
     Yes, I realize I have been blessed with my life, very blessed.
     Yet, I still wonder.  What if.....