Thursday, February 5, 2015

once upon a mattress

We may be buying a new mattress

     Several years ago Jackie had a back problem.  I figured it was the 20 year old mattress we had been sleeping on, so we bought a new sleeping system.
     That's right, a sleeping system.  
     It has controls for different sleeping needs, from pillow soft to firm and hard, like my abs.  We both have set them fairly high.
     She doesn't like it.  She doesn't feel she has the right mattress for the sleep she needs.
     So we have been watching ads on TV.
     The $179 queen from "mattress outlet" didn't seem like a price you would pay for a quality queen.      Then I saw the bed with the rising back.  You can lift the legs, or the head, depending on your needs.  And each side has its own control!  I could have my head up, she could sleep level.  I could have my feet level, she could have hers up.
     Ideal, is it not?
     I started thinking.  What happens if I hit the lower button in the middle of the night?  Will I get her head caught between the two mattresses?  Will I wake up in the morning and see just her body and feet....and no head??
     What if the bed goes crazy and the feet go up and the head goes up and I have to sleep like a U?
     Will my legs/feet/arms get wedged between the sides and squashed like a roach on a cheap diner's Formica table?
     It is all to much for me to think about.  And I know I can't "sleep on it" because it will give me nightmares.
     So I think we will be looking for a conventional mattress.  
     At our age, it isn't wise to mess with mother Serta.

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