I don't know how to say this.
My cousin Sally died today. She did not leave us, she died. We didn't lose her, she didn't pass, she died.
I wrote about Sally before. She and Warren live in Anchorage and were down here in June for a visit. She had lung cancer, which was treated with radiation and chemo. We had a great visit and we made plans to see each other again. But the cancer moved to her brain. The end came quickly, her suffering was limited. She died at home, surrounded by her husband, daughter, son in law and I imagine her dog....who was a big part of her life.
Sally and I grew up in Chicago, just a couple of blocks from each other. I was about 10 when her mother died of cancer. Aunt Jean was a Christian Scientist and did not go see a doctor until very late. Her dad remarried a couple of years later. Sally ended up going to a boarding school, I think it was the Chicago Latin School in Dundee. I remember writing her letters when she was at school. Since we both liked music, I would cut circles out and write letters in a way that you had to keep rotating the letter to read it. Just like a record.
My parents and I went out there to visit her and went to a nearby restaurant. Several years ago when she was here we went back there and relived those years.
She went to Lake View High School, the same as me. She was three years ahead of me. At some point....maybe her junior year, or senior year, she was at home for lunch. She went upstairs and her dad, Jim, was at the bottom of the stairs. He wasn't feeling well and stayed home that day. He yelled to Sally and asked what she wanted for lunch. She placed her order, but when she came down the stairs, her dad was on the floor, killed by a massive heart attack.
So by the end of high school, she had lost both parents.
She was strong, though. Strong enough to handle me and my brothers and her brother. She fed me dog biscuits, let me play with her dolls, begged to read my comic books, and was a friend as well as a cousin. On summer days we would ride up to the Coca Cola bottling plant on Ravenswood and Montrose and buy Cokes from a vending machine for a nickel.
She was the one who asked me to go the the Beatles at Comiskey Park. But I didn't go. She didn't either, and years later found the unused tickets, put them on E-Bay and sold them for several hundred dollars.
She worked at the Tribune, covering the Deep Tunnel project. She married a guy named Tim and they went to Alaska one summer for a vacation, and never came back except to visit.
When that marriage broke up, Sally called from O'Hare at 11 one night and came to our house while she sorted out her life.
The two times we went to Alaska, she was a great hostess and tour guide. She knew a lot of people. We stayed at a friend of hers near Willow on a trip to Fairbanks. There were a lot of people eating burgers and drinking beer. I sat by one guy and asked him what he did in Alaska. With a serious face, and I am sure complete truth, he said, "That's classified information." As far as I remembered, that was all he said before quietly slipping out the door.
She eventually remarried, finding a terrific partner in Warren. She loved her life in Alaska. She loved the work she was doing, editing the "bar rag" (a lawyer's monthly paper) , doing PR for the state, putting out real estate guides, working for newspapers.....making beaded jewelry.
Oh, she could be maddeningly frustrating. In her personal life, deadlines were suggestions. She may be here Tuesday, or it could be Thursday. Christmas cards came in the middle of January. She had her quirks.
I didn't see her as much as I wanted. Alaska is a pretty far drive. Distance parted us.
But this summer we got to reconnect. And it was wonderful. I am normally a pessimistic person, but I truly believed I would see her again in a year.
I have some pictures. I have the memories.
I just wish I had one more visit with her.
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