Good bye, old friend

I just bought two new shirts

     I know, big whoop.  Understand, I never buy shirts.  When I received two for presents last year, it was the first time in a long time I actually added shirts to my closet line up.
     I am not talking t-shirts either....I have a million of them. (Figuratively speaking, of course.)
     I am talking shirts that are a little more dressy but are basically summer shirts:  no collars, no buttons, just a summer shirt.
     I had to buy extra large.  (Beth, don't laugh.)  The larges stretched too tightly across my belly, giving me the appearance of a slightly pregnant man.    (A slightly pregnant appearance is a literal description.)  I seem to have a belly that will not go away.  It is getting larger, as if an alien was alive inside me.
     Maybe it's a tapeworm....I eat constantly.  Oops, dripped a little sauce on the keyboard.
     I make bad food choices.  I had Ollie's for lunch.  But, that's not really a bad food choice.  It tasted very good.
     I eat potatoes in all forms:  chips, fries, baked, chopped, diced, stewed, fried.  And if you happen to put a loaf of fresh baked bread near me, watch out!
     I live for carbs....but they are the worst for me, so I need to start cutting down on them.  Excuse me, some pretzel crumbs just hit the floor.
     I am exercising.  But I don't think I do the best exercises, so maybe I need to contact a personal trainer and have them give me some routines I can ignore.
     TC told me once I eat for a reason, and as soon as I find that reason, I will be able to control my eating impulse.  I have been like this for my entire life.  Seriously.  When I had a paper route in sixth grade, there was a little restaurant down the block that made a nice half way grab a snack spot.  They always had doughnuts and fresh french fries, and I think I ate that combination three times a week.
I haven't been able to discover the reason yet.
      But back to the shirts.  I bought two, so I need to get rid of two.
      Like an old friend, Yeller has been with me for many years.  I looked at a 2007 photo album and I seem to be wearing that shirt.  I like it.  It fits. The belly stretches.
      But the neck area is frayed.  The sleeves are frayed.  It's time to part.
      I will miss it.
      But two came in, two must go out.  Now I have to find the shirt to toss, an old friend to relegate to  the trash.  I'll look for one that's frayed, or has little tiny lint balls all over, and one that preferably doesn't fit me as well as it did a few years ago.
      That last attribute will not be hard to find.