Let's see, if north is that way, east is to my right....

     I never was a Boy Scout.  I never learned to tie knots, pitch a tent, or read a map.

That's right, I can't read maps

     That little gap in the knowledge zone has led to some interesting quandaries.
      Like the time on family vacation and Jackie was driving.  We were near Niagara Falls and we were trying to cross from the U.S. into Canada.  I told her to turn left, then right, follow that road....all based on the map I was reading in our Rand McNally Road Atlas.
      Turns out I had the map for the Canadian side.  That explained why we ended up in a parking lot in an industrial area, no where near the falls, or bridge, or road  and lost in Canada.
     And the time in Holland when I was riding my bike down a lane that had not seen many bikes. A  huge tractor came barrelling along the same lane, forcing me off the road and into a weed patch and possibly sheep dip....my feet smelled for days.  I misread the map.  And missed my lane.
     I can't tell you the times I read a map upside down, or had the wrong map, or misread the street locations.
     Even those mall maps that say "Here you are" don't help.  I ended up in a Pink store in Oakbrook because the Eddie Bauer store was supposed to be there, according to the map.  But it wasn't, because the map, or me, was upside down and I should have gone left instead of right.
     We were in Orlando on a family vacation and I thought we should go visit two aunts.  On the map it was just an inch.....but in the car it was over 2 hours.  And no, we were young and had a car that did not have AC and went in August because it is cheaper and we had two kids in the back seat.  Talk about hot and uncomfortable! And then it rained, so we had to roll up (by hand) the windows, which made it worse.
     We got there, had lunch, and left....because it was almost dark and we had a two hour drive back to the Days Inn.
     Makers of Garmins and other devices know this...so they tell me to turn left out of my driveway to reach Skare Road, then turn left to take Flagg Road like I am some sort of flippin' idiot who can't find his way to the tollway.
     I follow the cardinal rule for all male drivers, I never ask for directions.
     I navigate by sense.  And Memory.   And touch.
    When driving in Michigan I once drove past the road I wanted four times because the drive-in that was there 40 years ago was torn down and that was the only way I knew where to turn.
     Sometimes it may take me a little longer to get there.  Once in a while I have to reverse directions.  Isn't it the journey that counts, not the destination?  BS!!  Getting there is important!!
     So if you ever go with me and I am driving, be prepared to read a map and tell me where to go.
     Several people have over the years.