I seemed to work in a fog today
Every time I go to the zoo, I park in the same row...row 1. Nearest the outside fence. Always.
So explain why I was wandering aimlessly down the third row looking for my car?
And why did one of the keepers have my keys? Could it be because I left them in a lock on one of the cages?
Of course. I had a little guinea pig named Kit Kat out. The conversation went something like this.
Little kid: "What's the guinea pig's name?"
Seriously disturbed old guy: "Tic Tac."
Female volunteer. "You mean Kit Kat."
SDOG: "Oh yes, I do mean Tic Tac.
Little kid: "Kit Kat? Or Tic Tac?"
Female volunteer. "Kit Kat."
SDOG: "Aw, gimme a break!"
So I alternated between calling her Tic Tac and Kit Kat, with the majority of references being to Kit Kat. Then I took out Skittles, and proceeded to call her Kit Kat.
I don't think the animals know their names. Evidently I don't either.
And I may have driven all the way to Oakbrook without wearing my seat belt. Either that or I took it off and don't remember doing so.
Days like this always make me wonder what else I missed. Maybe some day I will know what I didn't know I didn't know.
Or something like that.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Oh Tannebaum, Oh Tannenbaum....
I hope my memories don't get lost
You all know what I mean. Those memories of long ago days. I hope to always keep them.
Every Christmas my dad would go to the corner tree lot in search of the perfect tree.
It had to be straight, full, and cheap.
We lived in two places when I was growing up. The first was a third floor apartment. It was one apartment at one time, but my grandfather divided it into two. We lived in the front half, a one bedroom unit with a living room, dining room and kitchen. The three boys slept in the bedroom. My folks had a Murphy bed in what looked like a closet in the front room. Every night they would open the glass doors, pull down the bed, and go to sleep. In the morning they would lift the bed back up.
I don't remember if they made the bed or not. I wouldn't make it, but I bet my mom did.
At Christmas the tree would stand in the circular "corner" of the room.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never get the right tree.
They were always balsams.....and to this day, I love balsam Christmas trees. Jackie does not, so we get Scotch pines.
Anyway, Dad would get the tree and bring it home. He would put it up and we would decorate it, throwing tinsel on it like arsonists throw gasoline on a burning garage.
At some point, the tree would fall.
Maybe in the middle of the night, hitting the bed.
Maybe in the morning when someone got to close.
Maybe after we put that last batch on tinsel on and it proved too heavy on one side.
I remember him putting hooks in the walls in the cove and wiring the tree up. I don't think he took the hooks out. After a few years they became permanent.
When we moved to a house, we had a huge living room. The tree would again stand in the curved nook and again, no matter how hard he tried, the tree would always fall.
I remember him going to the same tree lot year after year. It was run by Bob, or Bill, or Joe, and we would carefully check each tree before deciding on the one perfect one that would never stand up on its own.
He would swear, and curse, light up a Marlboro, grab a beer and put the tree up again. And again.
I don't think Jackie and I have had a problem with trees falling....except for one year.
When we got married, we had squat. I actually took cardboard boxes and put wood grained Contact paper on them to create two end tables for used lamps.
We bought a small tree and put it on the table/box. Jackie bought some wooden paint your own ornaments and that is what used to decorate the tree. We still have the ornaments. I took a picture of our new baby under that tree, I remember seeing the picture. But that seems to have disappeared in the last couple of moves.
But the memories? I am still holding onto them.
You all know what I mean. Those memories of long ago days. I hope to always keep them.
Every Christmas my dad would go to the corner tree lot in search of the perfect tree.
It had to be straight, full, and cheap.
We lived in two places when I was growing up. The first was a third floor apartment. It was one apartment at one time, but my grandfather divided it into two. We lived in the front half, a one bedroom unit with a living room, dining room and kitchen. The three boys slept in the bedroom. My folks had a Murphy bed in what looked like a closet in the front room. Every night they would open the glass doors, pull down the bed, and go to sleep. In the morning they would lift the bed back up.
I don't remember if they made the bed or not. I wouldn't make it, but I bet my mom did.
At Christmas the tree would stand in the circular "corner" of the room.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never get the right tree.
They were always balsams.....and to this day, I love balsam Christmas trees. Jackie does not, so we get Scotch pines.
Anyway, Dad would get the tree and bring it home. He would put it up and we would decorate it, throwing tinsel on it like arsonists throw gasoline on a burning garage.
At some point, the tree would fall.
Maybe in the middle of the night, hitting the bed.
Maybe in the morning when someone got to close.
Maybe after we put that last batch on tinsel on and it proved too heavy on one side.
I remember him putting hooks in the walls in the cove and wiring the tree up. I don't think he took the hooks out. After a few years they became permanent.
When we moved to a house, we had a huge living room. The tree would again stand in the curved nook and again, no matter how hard he tried, the tree would always fall.
I remember him going to the same tree lot year after year. It was run by Bob, or Bill, or Joe, and we would carefully check each tree before deciding on the one perfect one that would never stand up on its own.
He would swear, and curse, light up a Marlboro, grab a beer and put the tree up again. And again.
I don't think Jackie and I have had a problem with trees falling....except for one year.
When we got married, we had squat. I actually took cardboard boxes and put wood grained Contact paper on them to create two end tables for used lamps.
We bought a small tree and put it on the table/box. Jackie bought some wooden paint your own ornaments and that is what used to decorate the tree. We still have the ornaments. I took a picture of our new baby under that tree, I remember seeing the picture. But that seems to have disappeared in the last couple of moves.
But the memories? I am still holding onto them.
Friday, December 5, 2014
500 miles, 500 miles, lord I'm 500 miles away from home
Today, for some reason, drivers made me nuts
Spent a lot of time in the car today. Now, I'm not saying I am the worlds greatest driver (however, I claim title to World's Greatest Dad, World's Greatest Teacher, World's Greatest Husband, because I have shirts or mugs that say that, and they wouldn't lie. Well, actually, the husband one is bogus.)
and I know I have done some dumb things, but folks, come on!
When it is foggy, put on your lights. Other motorists want to see you. If your car has a setting that says automatic for lights, they may not be going on in the fog.
When it is raining, put on your lifts. It is the law. Plus, other drivers can see you.
A center turn lane is for turning left. That's why all those arrows are there.
Drive, damn it! I am not a speed demon. I do the limit, and I do over the limit at times. Please don't do 35 on Flagg Road! Because of your slow speed, and my inability to pass due to east bound traffic, a school bus pulled out in front of you. When the school bus reaches the railroad tracks, they stop. They stop for a long time. Then they hit the second track. They stop for a long time again. My 2:15 coffee was beginning to exert a pressure that made me uncomfortable and you are lucky I did not get out and pee on your car!
Read the highway signs. If the huge sign says "Right Lane Ends," there is a good chance, a very good chance, that your lane ends. When a nice courteous driver approaches from the rear of your car and sees you are going to have to move over and slows down so you can, have the brains to move over and not begin to stop. And please, don't drive on the shoulder next to me while you decide what you need to do..it makes me nervous!
If you change lanes more than three times in 10 seconds and you are not exiting, you may be an idiot.
Stop signs mean stop. Don't just slow down and try to follow the car ahead of you through the intersection.
If I am in the far right lane, and there are three lanes to the left of me, please do not feel obligated to ride my tail. I encourage you to use one of the three empty lanes and go around me, like a sane person would do.
If you have cruise control, set it. That is a lot easier than passing me, pulling in front of me, slowing down, and having me pass you, only to repeat this dance three more times between IL 47 and the DeKalb oasis. I do have to admit, when you went from 70 to 55, it did cause a hearty chuckle from me as I passed you, again.
And we all know that the on ramps for tollways and expressways are for accelerating, right? You should not be going 40 when you enter traffic and everyone else is going a higher speed. Use the ramp to build speed so you can merge effortlessly into the stream of traffic, not bring it to a grinding halt.
Like I said, I know I am not perfect. I forget to signal at times. I do forget once in a while to put my lights on when it's raining. And one time I did take a shortcut, which involved driving down a sidewalk for 25 feet or so, but in my defense, the street had never been a cul de sac before and I had gone that route several times. I just thought it was a big speed bump.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Spent a lot of time in the car today. Now, I'm not saying I am the worlds greatest driver (however, I claim title to World's Greatest Dad, World's Greatest Teacher, World's Greatest Husband, because I have shirts or mugs that say that, and they wouldn't lie. Well, actually, the husband one is bogus.)
and I know I have done some dumb things, but folks, come on!
When it is foggy, put on your lights. Other motorists want to see you. If your car has a setting that says automatic for lights, they may not be going on in the fog.
When it is raining, put on your lifts. It is the law. Plus, other drivers can see you.
A center turn lane is for turning left. That's why all those arrows are there.
Drive, damn it! I am not a speed demon. I do the limit, and I do over the limit at times. Please don't do 35 on Flagg Road! Because of your slow speed, and my inability to pass due to east bound traffic, a school bus pulled out in front of you. When the school bus reaches the railroad tracks, they stop. They stop for a long time. Then they hit the second track. They stop for a long time again. My 2:15 coffee was beginning to exert a pressure that made me uncomfortable and you are lucky I did not get out and pee on your car!
Read the highway signs. If the huge sign says "Right Lane Ends," there is a good chance, a very good chance, that your lane ends. When a nice courteous driver approaches from the rear of your car and sees you are going to have to move over and slows down so you can, have the brains to move over and not begin to stop. And please, don't drive on the shoulder next to me while you decide what you need to do..it makes me nervous!
If you change lanes more than three times in 10 seconds and you are not exiting, you may be an idiot.
Stop signs mean stop. Don't just slow down and try to follow the car ahead of you through the intersection.
If I am in the far right lane, and there are three lanes to the left of me, please do not feel obligated to ride my tail. I encourage you to use one of the three empty lanes and go around me, like a sane person would do.
If you have cruise control, set it. That is a lot easier than passing me, pulling in front of me, slowing down, and having me pass you, only to repeat this dance three more times between IL 47 and the DeKalb oasis. I do have to admit, when you went from 70 to 55, it did cause a hearty chuckle from me as I passed you, again.
And we all know that the on ramps for tollways and expressways are for accelerating, right? You should not be going 40 when you enter traffic and everyone else is going a higher speed. Use the ramp to build speed so you can merge effortlessly into the stream of traffic, not bring it to a grinding halt.
Like I said, I know I am not perfect. I forget to signal at times. I do forget once in a while to put my lights on when it's raining. And one time I did take a shortcut, which involved driving down a sidewalk for 25 feet or so, but in my defense, the street had never been a cul de sac before and I had gone that route several times. I just thought it was a big speed bump.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
when you're alone and life is making you lonely,
I love going downtown
There is something about downtown Chicago that is hard to describe.
Could it be the constant screaming of sirens?
Or the seemingly rambling, nonsensical shouts of the possibly crazed guy predicting the end of the world unless we repent and stop drinking diet cola.
Or Chewbaca in front of Field's, shilling for the Salvation Army. (It will always be Field's.) When he did his yowl, I though someone unleashed the lions from the Art Institute.
I made the trek back in time today. Visited the big tree at Field's. Looked at the windows. Went to the Christmas market at Daley Plaza, had a schnitzel sandwich and a cup of hot mulled wine.
And try saying schnitzel sandwich and not break into a laugh.
I did get really cold. It was not the sunny, warm 40s I expected. So I stopped at a Starbucks for a warm beverage. At the busier Starbucks, they ask your name and write it on the cup. The pretty young thing asked me for my name, I hemmed and hawed, and said "Ted."
She looked at me and repeated, "Ted? Well, today you are Teddy. In keeping with the season, you are Teddy Bear."
I was waiting in line and the other pretty young thing started saying, 'Ted? Ted? Do you want whip cream on top? Ted?"
I forgot who I was!
Then she said, "Teddy Bear, do you want some whip cream?" I told her yes, because I realized I was Teddy Bear.
Back in Rochelle, we saw Dan and Linda at Culver's and I forgot to tell him this little story. Bear with me.
When Dan and I were in France, our train was delayed because la femme morte in the car ahead of us. When I got up and got out of the car to look, I saw la femme's feet sticking out of the car door, and I realized what had happened.
The French are real reluctant to let a train move with a fresh body on board, so we sat, waited, and missed our connection.
Today, the train stopped in Glen Ellyn and did not move. It sat. And sat. And sat.
Soon, a police car appeared. And a second. And a third. Then an ambulance.
Luckily, the gent was awake and talking when they took him off the train, and the delay was only 20 minutes and I did not miss a connection.
It was a good day for him, and for me.
But enough words. Pictures.
There is something about downtown Chicago that is hard to describe.
Could it be the constant screaming of sirens?
Or the seemingly rambling, nonsensical shouts of the possibly crazed guy predicting the end of the world unless we repent and stop drinking diet cola.
Or Chewbaca in front of Field's, shilling for the Salvation Army. (It will always be Field's.) When he did his yowl, I though someone unleashed the lions from the Art Institute.
I made the trek back in time today. Visited the big tree at Field's. Looked at the windows. Went to the Christmas market at Daley Plaza, had a schnitzel sandwich and a cup of hot mulled wine.
And try saying schnitzel sandwich and not break into a laugh.
I did get really cold. It was not the sunny, warm 40s I expected. So I stopped at a Starbucks for a warm beverage. At the busier Starbucks, they ask your name and write it on the cup. The pretty young thing asked me for my name, I hemmed and hawed, and said "Ted."
She looked at me and repeated, "Ted? Well, today you are Teddy. In keeping with the season, you are Teddy Bear."
I was waiting in line and the other pretty young thing started saying, 'Ted? Ted? Do you want whip cream on top? Ted?"
I forgot who I was!
Then she said, "Teddy Bear, do you want some whip cream?" I told her yes, because I realized I was Teddy Bear.
Back in Rochelle, we saw Dan and Linda at Culver's and I forgot to tell him this little story. Bear with me.
When Dan and I were in France, our train was delayed because la femme morte in the car ahead of us. When I got up and got out of the car to look, I saw la femme's feet sticking out of the car door, and I realized what had happened.
The French are real reluctant to let a train move with a fresh body on board, so we sat, waited, and missed our connection.
Today, the train stopped in Glen Ellyn and did not move. It sat. And sat. And sat.
Soon, a police car appeared. And a second. And a third. Then an ambulance.
Luckily, the gent was awake and talking when they took him off the train, and the delay was only 20 minutes and I did not miss a connection.
It was a good day for him, and for me.
But enough words. Pictures.
 |
| It's Field's, damn it! |
 |
| I love the windows |
 |
| Looking down to the first floor at Field's |
 |
| Walnut Room tree |
 |
| Daley Plaza tree |
 |
| Spiced wine is warm and hearty. I can't smile doing a selfie! |
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning.....
I suck at DIY stuff
I am not complaining, actually it's sort of bragging.
I can't drive screws straight. I can't hammer nails straight. I can't cut boards straight.
It is the one thing in my life that is consistent.....my inability to do stuff.
John and Dan worked on my ceiling project today. They would have gotten a lot more done if I had some idea of what I was doing.
I had planned to center the panels in the ceiling, then just cut off the end using my new tin snips and my cut proof gloves. (Taking a blood thinner, the last thing I want to do is cut myself. I usually bleed for about 5 days with a paper cut, anything more serious and I could bleed out.)
Dan's idea was much better, and results in no trimming of the panels.
Which means it was good I did not put up firring strips. They would have been in the wrong location for how the ceiling is getting done.
Making a long story short, we did not finish today. The project resumes Monday afternoon.
It actually should go a little quicker, now that we know what we are doing. Scratch that...now that I know what they are doing.
In the meantime, I am going to practice hammering and using a power screw driver. I may get the hang of those things yet.
And somewhere I have a box with stuff in it....plumb line, jig saw, and who knows what else.
I have drawers full of odd nails, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, thing a ma bobs........I wonder if those can be recycled with the metals? If not, I am tossing them.
Going to be doing a lot of that this next year!
Jackie and I have a goal of going through one box a week. So in about 3 years we will go through all the boxes in the basement. I will find my tools, she will find her dish cloths.
And the Cubs will win the World Series.
I am not complaining, actually it's sort of bragging.
I can't drive screws straight. I can't hammer nails straight. I can't cut boards straight.
It is the one thing in my life that is consistent.....my inability to do stuff.
John and Dan worked on my ceiling project today. They would have gotten a lot more done if I had some idea of what I was doing.
I had planned to center the panels in the ceiling, then just cut off the end using my new tin snips and my cut proof gloves. (Taking a blood thinner, the last thing I want to do is cut myself. I usually bleed for about 5 days with a paper cut, anything more serious and I could bleed out.)
Dan's idea was much better, and results in no trimming of the panels.
Which means it was good I did not put up firring strips. They would have been in the wrong location for how the ceiling is getting done.
Making a long story short, we did not finish today. The project resumes Monday afternoon.
It actually should go a little quicker, now that we know what we are doing. Scratch that...now that I know what they are doing.
In the meantime, I am going to practice hammering and using a power screw driver. I may get the hang of those things yet.
And somewhere I have a box with stuff in it....plumb line, jig saw, and who knows what else.
I have drawers full of odd nails, nuts, bolts, screws, washers, thing a ma bobs........I wonder if those can be recycled with the metals? If not, I am tossing them.
Going to be doing a lot of that this next year!
Jackie and I have a goal of going through one box a week. So in about 3 years we will go through all the boxes in the basement. I will find my tools, she will find her dish cloths.
And the Cubs will win the World Series.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
I get by with a little help from my friends
No man is a failure if he has friends
Thank you Clarence Goodbody. He's the angel who is trying to get his wings in the classic "It's a Wonderful Life."
John and Dan are coming over tomorrow to attack my unfinished ceiling. The firring strips are here, the tin tile is here ... but I can't seem to physically do the task.
Mentally, either, it appears.
My plan was to put insulation between the joists to cut down on noise. So I bought a roll of R 13 about two months ago. Last week I figured one roll was not enough, so I bought a roll of R 30 for some reason.
R 30 is about a foot thick! No way can it go between the joists, which are 2 x 4s. I tried splitting it in half, but that didn't work. Like putting a ball of cotton in two piles....easy in concept, difficult in practice.
So I opened the R-13 bag to finish the job. One bag contains 32 feet of insulation. The area I am insulating is 6 feet by 30 feet....or about three bags more than I have.
Common sense and basic math should have been employed here, but it wasn't.
Especially the common sense.
I also bought some Styrofoam insulation to slip in above the joists. I planned to buy 6 panels, but instead opted for three....which was what I really needed. Jackie helped me shove the suckers in place.
I think I am up to about $9,730 for insulation at this point. That's just a rough estimate.
I just hope all goes well tomorrow. I have bought drill bits, screws, wood.....everything should be here and ready to go.
Of course, the more sane people ask me questions like: Are you going to put up some trim? What are you going to do with the front side? Have you thought about the cold air return? The answer to all these questions is: No! I am flying by the seat of my pants here!
Well, tomorrow is the test.
I'll keep you posted.
Thank you Clarence Goodbody. He's the angel who is trying to get his wings in the classic "It's a Wonderful Life."
John and Dan are coming over tomorrow to attack my unfinished ceiling. The firring strips are here, the tin tile is here ... but I can't seem to physically do the task.
Mentally, either, it appears.
My plan was to put insulation between the joists to cut down on noise. So I bought a roll of R 13 about two months ago. Last week I figured one roll was not enough, so I bought a roll of R 30 for some reason.
R 30 is about a foot thick! No way can it go between the joists, which are 2 x 4s. I tried splitting it in half, but that didn't work. Like putting a ball of cotton in two piles....easy in concept, difficult in practice.
So I opened the R-13 bag to finish the job. One bag contains 32 feet of insulation. The area I am insulating is 6 feet by 30 feet....or about three bags more than I have.
Common sense and basic math should have been employed here, but it wasn't.
Especially the common sense.
I also bought some Styrofoam insulation to slip in above the joists. I planned to buy 6 panels, but instead opted for three....which was what I really needed. Jackie helped me shove the suckers in place.
I think I am up to about $9,730 for insulation at this point. That's just a rough estimate.
I just hope all goes well tomorrow. I have bought drill bits, screws, wood.....everything should be here and ready to go.
Of course, the more sane people ask me questions like: Are you going to put up some trim? What are you going to do with the front side? Have you thought about the cold air return? The answer to all these questions is: No! I am flying by the seat of my pants here!
Well, tomorrow is the test.
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, December 1, 2014
so tired, tired of waiting
I hate being on hold on the telephone
I called the Sleep Number bed people today. We bought a Sleep Number a few years ago, and a big hump has developed in the middle. After a 10 minute wait, the young person with a strange accent, could have been Boston or New York or New Delhi, had me pull the bed apart and check the foam divider between the sides. It was up. He said, push it down. I did, and the bed looks fine.
But Jackie doesn't like it. I sleep ok, until the prostate screams, "Wake up and hit the head."
As long as I am on the topic of phones, (I wasn't, but it is a great segue, don't you think?) I have a Coventry health care plan.
The have a wellness check that is free. (Yes, I know, nothing is free. We are paying for it through our premiums.) A CN will come to the house, assess my state of health, and make some suggestions.
Someone called to ask if I am ready to schedule an appointment. I say yes. They ask me for date of birth, address, city, zip code. I give them all that, then they go to the schedule and find an appointment time.
No person was in the area that week.
They called again. Same routine. Same response, no person was in the area.
The last time they called,v which was the fifth time, I said, "I bet you are calling for a wellness check. Before we both waste a lot of time, do you have a person in the area?"
The answer was no.
My suggestion would be to call me first to schedule a time, then work around that. But they will eventually figure that out.
This is how I roll. I am putting away glasses tonight. Jackie gives me four. I say, just give me one at a time so I don't drop any and break them. She gives me one glass, which I immediately use to knock over a glass, sending it to the floor where it shattered into a billion pieces. Figuratively speaking. I would have been better off with four.
My van is a mess. Carried a Scotch pine tree and three 4 x 8 sheets of Styrofoam, and it needs to be cleaned. Not going to happen this week.
Wow...cleared a lot out of my mind tonight!
Now I'll go to my Sleep Number bed and dial up a #64 dream. That's one where the Bears, Cubs, Sox, Hawks and Bulls all win championships.
Some day, that dream will come true!
I called the Sleep Number bed people today. We bought a Sleep Number a few years ago, and a big hump has developed in the middle. After a 10 minute wait, the young person with a strange accent, could have been Boston or New York or New Delhi, had me pull the bed apart and check the foam divider between the sides. It was up. He said, push it down. I did, and the bed looks fine.
But Jackie doesn't like it. I sleep ok, until the prostate screams, "Wake up and hit the head."
As long as I am on the topic of phones, (I wasn't, but it is a great segue, don't you think?) I have a Coventry health care plan.
The have a wellness check that is free. (Yes, I know, nothing is free. We are paying for it through our premiums.) A CN will come to the house, assess my state of health, and make some suggestions.
Someone called to ask if I am ready to schedule an appointment. I say yes. They ask me for date of birth, address, city, zip code. I give them all that, then they go to the schedule and find an appointment time.
No person was in the area that week.
They called again. Same routine. Same response, no person was in the area.
The last time they called,v which was the fifth time, I said, "I bet you are calling for a wellness check. Before we both waste a lot of time, do you have a person in the area?"
The answer was no.
My suggestion would be to call me first to schedule a time, then work around that. But they will eventually figure that out.
This is how I roll. I am putting away glasses tonight. Jackie gives me four. I say, just give me one at a time so I don't drop any and break them. She gives me one glass, which I immediately use to knock over a glass, sending it to the floor where it shattered into a billion pieces. Figuratively speaking. I would have been better off with four.
My van is a mess. Carried a Scotch pine tree and three 4 x 8 sheets of Styrofoam, and it needs to be cleaned. Not going to happen this week.
Wow...cleared a lot out of my mind tonight!
Now I'll go to my Sleep Number bed and dial up a #64 dream. That's one where the Bears, Cubs, Sox, Hawks and Bulls all win championships.
Some day, that dream will come true!
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