oh gosh......

I may have discovered a new energy source

     I am going to try to be polite about this.....but I don't know how.
     Wifey will not be happy about this blog.  But I have to speak the truth.
     I may have discovered a new natural gas field today.
     It was of biological origin, possibly induced by a less than healthy lunch.
     You remember the song that started, "Every step I take...."   Well, that was me today.
     We were shopping in DeKalb and I sounded and felt like a mini war zone.  My stomach was growling loudly and producing other loud sound effects, which, if bottled, could run a gas grill for a month.
     It was embarrassing!  I kept looking around to see if anybody was near me.....luckily no one was except Jackie who started laughing and asking if I was all right.
     No, I was not all right, I was a BP gas rig out of control!!
     When she dropped something , I was afraid to bend over and pick it up!
     It was terrible, I tell you.  I have never experienced anything like that before.  I was totally out of control.
     I believe farting is a very private activity.  We all do it.  But I prefer to do it away from people whenever possible.
     (I was volunteering last week and had a guinea pig out.  Two little kindergartners from on school trip were there and all of a sudden the girl said, "Holy cow Jimmy!  You farted and it stinks!"   Jimmy's response was to wave the air frantically, all the while saying, "Not me.  Not me."  We all heard him.  I said it was a natural thing, even guinea pigs did it.  Actually, I have no idea if guinea pigs fart. But I figured a 5 year old won't google it.)
     I don't know what I ate.  Or what the problem was.
     But it went away after I had a nutritious, healthy snack called double chuck mocha at Ollie's.
     I was fine after that.  Go figure.