Oh deer, not tonight

I really like deer, not so much

     I like deer.  I love watching the little forest creatures browse in the meadow next to the house.
     I don't like deer, especially after I found they like cucumbers from my garden.
     I like deer.  They remind us all that we share the world with all of God's creatures.
     I don't like deer.  If I had a shotgun, I would blow those suckers away for chomping on my new heucheras.
     I like deer.  Their presence reminds us that there is still a bit of wild Illinois left in our lives.
     I don't like deer.   I haven't even seen the damn plant bloom, and now I won't because those little forest rats have striped it of leaves...and I am not talking heucheras!  I don't even know the name of this one!!
     I like deer.  They are like dainty ballet dancers.  As they spring away, their little white tail lifts up and almost seems to be waving good buy.
     Damn deer!!  Look at all these little pellets!!  Can't they crap in the park!!
     I like deer.  Their presence demonstrates how controlled hunting can help restore a species on the bring of extinction in Illinois.
     I swear, I am going to call my Aunt Pearl Burris.  I am going to call my Aunt Pearl and ask her to make me up a whole batch of her bitter pills......I mean business.....I'm as serious as a stroke.
     I like deer.  Watching them is relaxing.
     ASAAGh......I can't take it...this is driving me nuts.  Will they come back tonight?  Will they eat the rest of my flowers?  Will they like the beans??  Why am I using lines from the upcoming Greater Tuna show in my blog???
     I need to go to sleep.  Perchance, to dream.