I hate cleaning house
Years ago, when we were young, Thursday was the house cleaning day. I would do the bathrooms, Jackie would do the rest of the house.
Oh don't roll your eyes. We didn't have any furniture in one room. The dining room only had a table. I would do the vacuum thing. (By the way, this is a word I have to look up every time I use it. Who thought of spelling it this way? Unnatural.)
Once the MS was diagnosed, it became clear there were more important things in life for her than cleaning. So we hired a person to come every other week to clean.
That ended about six weeks ago. Now I clean. She tries to dust, but sometimes it is just too difficult for her. She can get a lot of the great room dusted. It takes a while.
I start by doing the bathrooms. Today I was cleaning the spare bathroom and I was dusting the doors, so decided to do the other bedroom door, then the closet door, then the den door, then I dusted the other bedroom, and the pictures in the hall.
I finally got back to the bathroom. After I dusted that, listening to the Beatles all the while because it makes the work more fun. (OK, sometimes I end up playing air guitar and pretending I am 20 and rocking with the boys in Liverpool.) And when I say dusted the bathroom, I took all the stuff out of the drawers, wiped them out; emptied the medicine cabinet and dusted the shelves; emptied the vanity and dusted the inside of the vanity.
I don't do an extensive cleaning every week. Thank heavens. Because by the time I vacuumed the two rooms, mopped up the floor, it was time for lunch.
I realized then I don't have a friendly work schedule. I was up at 8, but worked on the Trib crossword, read the paper on line, had tea and granola, played a couple of games of solitaire.....my usual morning.
I take a Swiss lunch by the way. Two hours. Gives the food time to digest.
Then I tackled the master bath. Emptied the drawers, cleaned out the bottom, (the vanity's, not mine), remembered the bathroom door squeak wakes me up when Jackie hits the can in the middle of the night. Found some spray lubricant. Popped the hinges to get the spray inside. Checked the other doors, dusted the bedroom furniture, and decided it was time for a coffee.
It was now pushing 4. Luckily most of the work was done by then and all I had to do was mop up the laundry room, finish the master bath, do the half bath, vacuum....and I was getting tired.
At some point my favorite Illinois daughter called and invited us out to dinner. Good idea, because I don't think we had any thought of food.
So I finished the bathrooms and laundry room and managed to dust the dining room furniture.
The only thing left is cleaning the floors, which I will do tomorrow.
I like a clean house, but I don't like cleaning.
I also think I am getting the short end of the deal. If I am doing the cleaning that we paid someone to do, then shouldn't I get the money? I am doing the work, although it does take me a little longer than it should.
My argument fell on deaf ears. Which is funny, because I am the one hard of hearing.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
I think I see the problem
I miss Johnny, Andy, Carol, Lucy and other TV legends
I claim not to watch a lot of TV, but in reality, I do. And tonight I am wondering why.
Contrast the sexual references on I Love Lucy with the HIMYM, or Two and a Half Men, or even Big Bang Theory.
Ricky and Lucy slept in separate beds! Little Ricky was conceived asexually....they never touched each other in the bedroom! It was a funny show. Sex jokes are the main humor in my three favorite shows, but even I am getting tired of the Two and a Half Men routine. It's not funny any more. It's sad.
And remember when Andy investigated a crime in Mayberrry? Someone might have stolen a chicken, or maybe the town drunk (now referred to as the person with an alcohol dependency issue) put himself in the clink. Turn on a crime show today and you'll see at least one bloody, or even decapitated body, in the opening scenes. No wonder we are buying guns in record numbers.
I loved watching Alfred Hitchcock's shows, both the half hour and the hour ones, and I don't think I ever saw more than a trickle of blood on any of the victims. And he was the master of suspense. Watch Rear Window, or Vertigo and tell me you aren't on the edge of your seat. And guess what? No blood.
Of course I wouldn't take a shower or stay in a motel for months after seeing Psycho the first time. And no, my parents weren't permissive. I didn't watch it until I was in my 30s. I still get tingly when that squeeeee, squeeeeee, squeeeee music starts and the knife flashes.
But even that pales in comparison to what is on TV today.
Tonight I saw a commercial for a series based on the Salem witch trials, and thanks for debuting during a holy season. What better entertainment than watching a group of narrow minded ignoramuses determine if you are a witch or not by killing you!
Concerned about violence in the middle school group? Than the new drama on Lifetime should really hit a nerve. Based on the previews, it looks like a group of girls involved in a romantic triangle with each other kill one of the three and then cover up the crime. That should make junior high parents' imagination run wild.
And are there really maids that look like the ones on Devious Maids? If there were, I would have worked harder in life accumulating wealth just to have to one around.
My favorite Johnny Carson bit was the tomahawk throwing episode with Ed Ames. If you have never seen it, do a You Tube search and you can find it. Without making a comment, and he could have done several, he let the audience create their own humor and then he got the big laugh with a line not sexual at all. It was/is priceless.
I am no prude. If you have ever seen one of our Exit 99 adult shows, you know I can be a bit on the foul side.
But now it just seems too much.
A fart in church may make me giggle, but if everybody does it all the time, it's not funny.
It's disgusting
Much like many of today's shows.
I claim not to watch a lot of TV, but in reality, I do. And tonight I am wondering why.
Contrast the sexual references on I Love Lucy with the HIMYM, or Two and a Half Men, or even Big Bang Theory.
Ricky and Lucy slept in separate beds! Little Ricky was conceived asexually....they never touched each other in the bedroom! It was a funny show. Sex jokes are the main humor in my three favorite shows, but even I am getting tired of the Two and a Half Men routine. It's not funny any more. It's sad.
And remember when Andy investigated a crime in Mayberrry? Someone might have stolen a chicken, or maybe the town drunk (now referred to as the person with an alcohol dependency issue) put himself in the clink. Turn on a crime show today and you'll see at least one bloody, or even decapitated body, in the opening scenes. No wonder we are buying guns in record numbers.
I loved watching Alfred Hitchcock's shows, both the half hour and the hour ones, and I don't think I ever saw more than a trickle of blood on any of the victims. And he was the master of suspense. Watch Rear Window, or Vertigo and tell me you aren't on the edge of your seat. And guess what? No blood.
Of course I wouldn't take a shower or stay in a motel for months after seeing Psycho the first time. And no, my parents weren't permissive. I didn't watch it until I was in my 30s. I still get tingly when that squeeeee, squeeeeee, squeeeee music starts and the knife flashes.
But even that pales in comparison to what is on TV today.
Tonight I saw a commercial for a series based on the Salem witch trials, and thanks for debuting during a holy season. What better entertainment than watching a group of narrow minded ignoramuses determine if you are a witch or not by killing you!
Concerned about violence in the middle school group? Than the new drama on Lifetime should really hit a nerve. Based on the previews, it looks like a group of girls involved in a romantic triangle with each other kill one of the three and then cover up the crime. That should make junior high parents' imagination run wild.
And are there really maids that look like the ones on Devious Maids? If there were, I would have worked harder in life accumulating wealth just to have to one around.
My favorite Johnny Carson bit was the tomahawk throwing episode with Ed Ames. If you have never seen it, do a You Tube search and you can find it. Without making a comment, and he could have done several, he let the audience create their own humor and then he got the big laugh with a line not sexual at all. It was/is priceless.
I am no prude. If you have ever seen one of our Exit 99 adult shows, you know I can be a bit on the foul side.
But now it just seems too much.
A fart in church may make me giggle, but if everybody does it all the time, it's not funny.
It's disgusting
Much like many of today's shows.
oops....but with a good reason
We attended a wedding Saturday and I did not post
In the first place, I forgot my computer. We were in a hotel that had free wifi, and I could have used John's......but it's a password thing. I don't know what password I use for the blog account.
That's why I missed a post...the first one, but the way.
The wedding was nice. Watching a kid you have seen since day one of his life grow, find love, and marry is kind of an emotional thing. We changed his diapers! So it's hard to believe he is old enough to marry....and yet he has graduated college, gotten a good job, bought a nice house and found a wonderful girl.
Again proving the old truth that life passes too quickly.
At least at this wedding I didn't stand up and walk into the aisle before the bride and groom did. Jackie stared at me as I was standing in the aisle as Hank and Britta approached from behind. I calmly stretched, hitched up my pants and sat back down. I don't think anyone noticed.
We were married at St. Paul Episcopal Church in DeKalb. The church was fairly new and the concrete floors were, well concrete. We had a runner going down the middle aisle that seemed to unroll forever. I think they could have gone to Malta with it and still had room.
And when Jackie threw the bouquet, the guy with a broken leg, and no interest at all in marriage, pushed everyone out of the way and grabbed it. We have proof, in pictures.
We were young. And poor. Jackie chose a wedding march that seemed to go on forever. I remember standing up in the front, watching the back of the church and waiting and waiting and waiting for the music to end. It finally did, and we got hitched.
Jackie poked me yesterday at Steven and Rachel's wedding and said, "This one's as long as ours!"
Marriage is like an Illinois highway: There are smooth stretches, but there are also potholes, ruts, bumps and detours. It's all part of the journey a couple takes in life. And it is true, getting there is half the fun.
In the first place, I forgot my computer. We were in a hotel that had free wifi, and I could have used John's......but it's a password thing. I don't know what password I use for the blog account.
That's why I missed a post...the first one, but the way.
The wedding was nice. Watching a kid you have seen since day one of his life grow, find love, and marry is kind of an emotional thing. We changed his diapers! So it's hard to believe he is old enough to marry....and yet he has graduated college, gotten a good job, bought a nice house and found a wonderful girl.
Again proving the old truth that life passes too quickly.
At least at this wedding I didn't stand up and walk into the aisle before the bride and groom did. Jackie stared at me as I was standing in the aisle as Hank and Britta approached from behind. I calmly stretched, hitched up my pants and sat back down. I don't think anyone noticed.
We were married at St. Paul Episcopal Church in DeKalb. The church was fairly new and the concrete floors were, well concrete. We had a runner going down the middle aisle that seemed to unroll forever. I think they could have gone to Malta with it and still had room.
And when Jackie threw the bouquet, the guy with a broken leg, and no interest at all in marriage, pushed everyone out of the way and grabbed it. We have proof, in pictures.
We were young. And poor. Jackie chose a wedding march that seemed to go on forever. I remember standing up in the front, watching the back of the church and waiting and waiting and waiting for the music to end. It finally did, and we got hitched.
Jackie poked me yesterday at Steven and Rachel's wedding and said, "This one's as long as ours!"
Marriage is like an Illinois highway: There are smooth stretches, but there are also potholes, ruts, bumps and detours. It's all part of the journey a couple takes in life. And it is true, getting there is half the fun.
Friday, April 4, 2014
are all adages old?
I get confused on old adages
Is it March comes in like an lion and goes out like a lamb, or vice versa? March seemed to go out kind of lion like this year....but I don't remember how it came in.
Do I feed a cold and starve a fever, or starve a cold and feed a fever? This one is kind of important, because I have a cold. I have been eating like a hog gone crazy....anything that is sweet I have devoured. Now I need salt. Maybe I should have been going hungry because I don't have a fever. Should I be starving myself or feeding myself?? And why don't we have any pudding in the cupboard??
Why shouldn't people in glass houses throw stones? I would think people who live in glass houses should invest in good sets of blinds or curtains, because they don't want peepers passing by peering in. Maybe they can toss an occasional stone, or get stoned for all I care.
And the world is not getting smaller. It's still a long way to Tipperary and I don't know if that's in Ireland or not.
I spent the majority of the day sleeping. That means I won't be able to sleep tonight. The cold is still there, but it isn't as bad. I can breathe. Something tells me that wine and cough syrup are not a good combination.
I slept through much of the Cubs home opener...and apparently, so did he Cubs. I admit whenever I see Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Fergie Jenkins and Ryne Sandberg, I get the chills. Too bad Ronnie wasn't there with them, although I think everyone feels his spirit at the park.
And early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise is not all true. I go to bed late and get up late and look at me!
On second thought.......maybe that one is true.
Is it March comes in like an lion and goes out like a lamb, or vice versa? March seemed to go out kind of lion like this year....but I don't remember how it came in.
Do I feed a cold and starve a fever, or starve a cold and feed a fever? This one is kind of important, because I have a cold. I have been eating like a hog gone crazy....anything that is sweet I have devoured. Now I need salt. Maybe I should have been going hungry because I don't have a fever. Should I be starving myself or feeding myself?? And why don't we have any pudding in the cupboard??
Why shouldn't people in glass houses throw stones? I would think people who live in glass houses should invest in good sets of blinds or curtains, because they don't want peepers passing by peering in. Maybe they can toss an occasional stone, or get stoned for all I care.
And the world is not getting smaller. It's still a long way to Tipperary and I don't know if that's in Ireland or not.
I spent the majority of the day sleeping. That means I won't be able to sleep tonight. The cold is still there, but it isn't as bad. I can breathe. Something tells me that wine and cough syrup are not a good combination.
I slept through much of the Cubs home opener...and apparently, so did he Cubs. I admit whenever I see Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Fergie Jenkins and Ryne Sandberg, I get the chills. Too bad Ronnie wasn't there with them, although I think everyone feels his spirit at the park.
And early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise is not all true. I go to bed late and get up late and look at me!
On second thought.......maybe that one is true.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
The things my mother never knew
I almost died on vacation
I was a sophomore in high school. I flew up to Bangor, Maine, to visit my brother Dennis, who was in the Air Force. He was coming home on leave, and it seemed like a good time to go visit him.
Three of us went fishing, Dennis, me and a friend of Denny's whose name could have been Dave. He was married and had three kids and was also an airman stationed at the Bangor base.
Dave had a little flat bottom scow with a small motor on the back. We went to a man made lake and put the boat in the water. We fished for several hours and spent the last hour in a cove on the far, desolate side of the lake.
It was time to go, so Dave fired up the motor and headed out into the main body of water. That's when we noticed the sky. It was black. Very black. A stiff wind began to blow. A very stiff wind.
The waves grew in size until they breached the top of the scow. I remember clear as day Dave turning into one wave, then back into another, then stopping, taking off his glasses, killing the motor and saying, "Boys, we are going in."
The water quickly swirled around my feet and the boat went down. I had a life jacket on, but it was backwards and not tied. Dennis and Dave were wearing wet suits, which were quickly filling up with water, dragging them down.
I can remember looking up and seeing the bottom of the boat. Someone grabbed me and threw me onto the boat, which was bobbing upside down, buoyed by a trapped air pocket.
Then Dennis was dragging David up to the other side of the boat. We floated that way, me on one side, David across from me, Dennis on the stern, for lord knows how long. The shore was only about 100 feet away, but the wind was blowing us parallel to land. Dave could not swim, and Dennis said if I left, the boat would be unbalanced and would flip.
So I hung on.
It was cold. And wet. Eventually we reached shore. There were no houses, so we began tramping along the shore until we found a house. The man living there was surprised to see three soaking-covered -with-mud, shivering guys on his front step asking for a ride.
He gave us one, despite the fact he had just finished cleaning the white interior of his Mercedes. But he was a good guy and drove us back to the marina where we started.
The guy running the marina looked at us and said, "Flipped again, huh?"
I stayed in the marina while Dave and Dennis borrowed a boat and went to retrieve Dave's boat.
The weird part comes next.
Later that night I thanked Dennis for grabbing me and pulling me onto the boat.
He looked at me and said he didn't. He went after Dave, because he was married with three kids. He swore he never touched me.
I know there was only three of us there.
But somehow, I was tossed unto the boat. Tossed. With a force. Read what you want into that.
We never told Mom. We figured why worry her about something that already happened.
Dennis and I never really talked about it after that night either.
I just know I was one lucky guy.
Or maybe, blessed.
I was a sophomore in high school. I flew up to Bangor, Maine, to visit my brother Dennis, who was in the Air Force. He was coming home on leave, and it seemed like a good time to go visit him.
Three of us went fishing, Dennis, me and a friend of Denny's whose name could have been Dave. He was married and had three kids and was also an airman stationed at the Bangor base.
Dave had a little flat bottom scow with a small motor on the back. We went to a man made lake and put the boat in the water. We fished for several hours and spent the last hour in a cove on the far, desolate side of the lake.
It was time to go, so Dave fired up the motor and headed out into the main body of water. That's when we noticed the sky. It was black. Very black. A stiff wind began to blow. A very stiff wind.
The waves grew in size until they breached the top of the scow. I remember clear as day Dave turning into one wave, then back into another, then stopping, taking off his glasses, killing the motor and saying, "Boys, we are going in."
The water quickly swirled around my feet and the boat went down. I had a life jacket on, but it was backwards and not tied. Dennis and Dave were wearing wet suits, which were quickly filling up with water, dragging them down.
I can remember looking up and seeing the bottom of the boat. Someone grabbed me and threw me onto the boat, which was bobbing upside down, buoyed by a trapped air pocket.
Then Dennis was dragging David up to the other side of the boat. We floated that way, me on one side, David across from me, Dennis on the stern, for lord knows how long. The shore was only about 100 feet away, but the wind was blowing us parallel to land. Dave could not swim, and Dennis said if I left, the boat would be unbalanced and would flip.
So I hung on.
It was cold. And wet. Eventually we reached shore. There were no houses, so we began tramping along the shore until we found a house. The man living there was surprised to see three soaking-covered -with-mud, shivering guys on his front step asking for a ride.
He gave us one, despite the fact he had just finished cleaning the white interior of his Mercedes. But he was a good guy and drove us back to the marina where we started.
The guy running the marina looked at us and said, "Flipped again, huh?"
I stayed in the marina while Dave and Dennis borrowed a boat and went to retrieve Dave's boat.
The weird part comes next.
Later that night I thanked Dennis for grabbing me and pulling me onto the boat.
He looked at me and said he didn't. He went after Dave, because he was married with three kids. He swore he never touched me.
I know there was only three of us there.
But somehow, I was tossed unto the boat. Tossed. With a force. Read what you want into that.
We never told Mom. We figured why worry her about something that already happened.
Dennis and I never really talked about it after that night either.
I just know I was one lucky guy.
Or maybe, blessed.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Another milestone!!
This blog has over 4,000 views!!
Wow! I never expected that many people to read it. I also never expected to be in the first week of April and still finding things to write about.
Well, usually. But tonight isn't one of those days. My mind is kind of foggy, my thoughts are not very clear. I think I even had a hallucination that the Cubs scored some runs and actually came back to tie a game.
I spent some time today cutting out pictures for the zoo......mind numbing work that I seemed to handle very well. The pictures are used when kids do craft projects.
Other than that, I did not do anything or even think.
Another hallucination. Rizzo hit a home run for a Cubs lead. That can't be true. Must be the cough syrup.
Anyway, thank you all for reading and commenting on the posts.
Now I'm going to have some tea with honey and go to bed.
Wow! I never expected that many people to read it. I also never expected to be in the first week of April and still finding things to write about.
Well, usually. But tonight isn't one of those days. My mind is kind of foggy, my thoughts are not very clear. I think I even had a hallucination that the Cubs scored some runs and actually came back to tie a game.
I spent some time today cutting out pictures for the zoo......mind numbing work that I seemed to handle very well. The pictures are used when kids do craft projects.
Other than that, I did not do anything or even think.
Another hallucination. Rizzo hit a home run for a Cubs lead. That can't be true. Must be the cough syrup.
Anyway, thank you all for reading and commenting on the posts.
Now I'm going to have some tea with honey and go to bed.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
where is the Puffs tissue?
I am a baby when I am sick
First, I have to point out it is April 1. That means I have gone the entire winter without being sick. No cough. No sniffles. No sneezing. No sore throat.
I even went walking outside on Monday because it was warm. It was a little windy, but it was warm. (I did see a house fly past and watched it land on a little green witch. Oh wait!!! I am hallucinating!!! That is the next VCCT show in the summer.)
When I got home I was hot, then cold; hot , then cold. Even the lentil soup I had for supper didn't hit the spot. (Come to think of it, it was lentil soup with beans and probably would never hit the spot.)
When I woke up Tuesday I was tired. My throat was scratchy. I was coughing.
I have a cold.
I don't like it when I have a cold. Julia has these great tissues in Switzerland. They have menthol in them so when you blow your nose it is soothing. I am going through those like water.
I have made tea with honey. I have had lots of liquids. I decided on a grape product tonight and it proved quite tasty washing down my spinach pizza. (Do you see a trend here? Lentil Soup?? Spinach pizza? I am sick, I tell you.)
Tonight I will lather on some Vick's Vapo Rub to keep my sinus packages open and productive. (Word of caution. If you must use a Vaseline type ointment on your derriere in the middle of the night, turn on the light. The Vick's jar, with it's soothing Mentholatum ingredient, is quite similar in size to the Vaseline jar. Different use, folks. Different use.)
I have had some cough syrup. OK, it expired in November, but it should still have some potency. So maybe I should double the dose.
My head hurts. I have a headache every time I cough. I won't take any Tylenol, but I will take some ibuprofen. (Generic from Walgreen Drugs, of which I am a stockholder and hear-by publicly commend them for continuing to sell cigarettes because that creates profits. Have you seen how much a pack of smokes cost? Yikes. And people still smoke.......)
And tomorrow, instead of cleaning house, I think I am going to make some tea with lemon, snuggle up in a sleeping bag downstairs, and watch tv all day. I am sick.
But please, don't send flowers, or candy, or young, beautiful (but of legal age) scantily clad nursing students who will insist my temperature and pulse must be taken regularly.
Holy crap, I must be sick!
First, I have to point out it is April 1. That means I have gone the entire winter without being sick. No cough. No sniffles. No sneezing. No sore throat.
I even went walking outside on Monday because it was warm. It was a little windy, but it was warm. (I did see a house fly past and watched it land on a little green witch. Oh wait!!! I am hallucinating!!! That is the next VCCT show in the summer.)
When I got home I was hot, then cold; hot , then cold. Even the lentil soup I had for supper didn't hit the spot. (Come to think of it, it was lentil soup with beans and probably would never hit the spot.)
When I woke up Tuesday I was tired. My throat was scratchy. I was coughing.
I have a cold.
I don't like it when I have a cold. Julia has these great tissues in Switzerland. They have menthol in them so when you blow your nose it is soothing. I am going through those like water.
I have made tea with honey. I have had lots of liquids. I decided on a grape product tonight and it proved quite tasty washing down my spinach pizza. (Do you see a trend here? Lentil Soup?? Spinach pizza? I am sick, I tell you.)
Tonight I will lather on some Vick's Vapo Rub to keep my sinus packages open and productive. (Word of caution. If you must use a Vaseline type ointment on your derriere in the middle of the night, turn on the light. The Vick's jar, with it's soothing Mentholatum ingredient, is quite similar in size to the Vaseline jar. Different use, folks. Different use.)
I have had some cough syrup. OK, it expired in November, but it should still have some potency. So maybe I should double the dose.
My head hurts. I have a headache every time I cough. I won't take any Tylenol, but I will take some ibuprofen. (Generic from Walgreen Drugs, of which I am a stockholder and hear-by publicly commend them for continuing to sell cigarettes because that creates profits. Have you seen how much a pack of smokes cost? Yikes. And people still smoke.......)
And tomorrow, instead of cleaning house, I think I am going to make some tea with lemon, snuggle up in a sleeping bag downstairs, and watch tv all day. I am sick.
But please, don't send flowers, or candy, or young, beautiful (but of legal age) scantily clad nursing students who will insist my temperature and pulse must be taken regularly.
Holy crap, I must be sick!
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