Oh brother, can you spare a dime

I must be flippin' rich

     I have to be.  Nothing else explains my terrible spending habits.
     Coupons.  I went to the grocery store and spent a lot of money.  Jackie gave me coupons every time we picked out a product.  50 cents off.  Buy one, get one.  A whole bunch of coupons.
     I held them in my hand as I approached the check out counter.
    Then I put them in my pocket ..... and found them when I got home.
     I take an eye vitamin.  Every time I buy them, I get a $5 off coupon in the box.  And every time I open the box I realize I did not use my $5 off coupon when I bought them.
     I now have a six month supply....all purchased without once using a damn coupon.
     I found the hummingbird food I bought last spring because I was going to put up my hummingbird feeder.  Well, that seems to be a waste of time now!  Why did I buy it if I wasn't going to use it?  Not a rhetorical question.  I actually planned on using it.  I just didn't.
     I just hope the suet cakes I bought when we lived on Skare Court are still good, because i am putting them out this year!
     Hollyhock seeds?  They'll be good next year.
     5 composition notebooks?  Who can pass up composition notebooks for 50 cents each?
     The Dremel tool kit I had to have?  Emily is the only person that uses it.  Thank heavens I borrowed it back before the tornado.  But I never used it!
     In other ways I am cheap.  I do the Sunday Tribune crosswords using a mechanical pencil I had when I was teaching.  I retired 8 years ago!  I still use the pencil because I still have lead for it and I don't want to wast the 79 cent package of lead!  OK, the pencil is falling apart and is hard to grip because the gripper is deteriorating.....but I have the lead!
     It gets worse. Every year it gets worse.
     About the only thing I buy that I am sure to use is wine....and I have about 20 bottles of that in the basement.  Oh, chocolate.  I always find a use for chocolate.
     Like right now.  I just finished a Swiss rose....and I think I'll go open a candy bar.  I do try to limit myself to one full bar a week.....but that usually means eating it on Monday and Tuesday and waiting until the next Monday for more.
     At least they don't go to waste.  Well, come to think of it.......they do go to waist!
     Of course, you already knew that!

eeny, meeny, minee, moe

I have a couple of important decisions to make

    First off, I need to buy a door bell.
    A wireless doorbell.
    This door bell has to be big enough to fit over the space created by my original doorbell, the one we can't seem to locate the transformer for in order to change it so it works.
    Normally the transformer is located near the circuit box....but for some reason, mine isn't there.  It may be located in the ceiling above where the futon is in the basement.  We had that ceiling drywalled  during construction and I never knew to look up there to see what was being covered up.      Now I know.
    My second decision concerns travel.  My dear wife gave me some options, but I can only pick one.     Trouble is, I want both. Actually, there are about 4 I want, but I don't think we can afford more than two.  If that.
    Anyway, I have to save my pennies and nickles for that playoff game ticket that will be available.
    But first things first:  a wireless door bell.
    If anyone has any suggestions or recommendations, I am willing to listen.
    Until then, knock loudly if you stop by.

good bye, farewell....

I had forgotten the third wasp story

     We had people over tonight.  Emily, John and Camryn came, along with Kevin, Jen, Samantha I, Sandy, Samantha II, and Chris.
     It was  a bittersweet night.  One birthday, one going away.  Good food always makes the night go better.
     We were talking about this blog and Emily mentioned the third wasp story.  Honestly, I had almost forgotten that one....finally.
     When we were teaching we did not have a lot of extra money around for vacations.  My brother had a cabin in Wisconsin and offered to let us spend a few days up there during the week.
     We happily agreed and headed for the great north woods, at least the area north of the Dells.
     This was a log cabin.  A genuine log cabin, and it was pretty neat.
     We went into the house and I saw a couple of wasps on the window.  I grabbed the wasp spray that was on the counter and got them.  Then I saw a couple more.  Got them.  We killed 17 yellow jackets in the house and ran out of bug spray.
     We piled in the car and drove to town and bought more.
     Going back into the house, I killed more.  And more.
     They seemed to be everywhere.
     I saw some on the pull chain for the lamp, and went up the stairs to spray.
     Before I could get off a shot, one of those buzzy little guys landed on my manhood.  I did not know what to do.
     "Swat him!"  yelled Jackie.
     "If I hit him hard enough to kill him I'll never walk again!" I yelled back.
     "Spray him," yelled the girls.
     "I can't move!  What if he stings?'
    My fear was being stung in the penis by an angry hornet and having to go to an emergency room to get the swelling down. THAT would have been embarrassing.
     After about 3 hours (time does not fly with a yellow jacket nesting on your penis) the guy flew off.
     I  said,  "We are getting out of here.  This is not worth it."
     So we left but eventually we had to go back.  Our stuff was still there.
     We went back in and sure enough, more wasps.
     We had gone through four cans of spray by now.  Dead yellow jackets littered the floor.
     I went up into the loft and laid down on the bed.  A wasp buzzed my head.  Then another.
     I looked at the wall and the yellow jackets were crawling through the space between the logs!
     I called my brother, frantic, and he just laughed.  He told me to find the oakum in the kitchen and just push it into the hole.  That would seal it and keep out the yellow jackets, who had a huge nest under the eaves on the outside of that wall.
     The oakum worked.  I killed the ones that were in the house and we spent the next two days enjoying Wisconsin.
     But I wonder how my life would have been had  been stung.
     I know somewhere some nurses would still be laughing about it.

old friends......

I'm going to miss a woman named Donna

     She was a volunteer at BZ, just like me.  A Friday regular.
     She "retired" today after 40 years as a volunteer.
     40 years!
     She volunteered for longer than most people work!  If I was to volunteer for 40 years, I would have to be 100......fat chance of that happening!
    Anyway, is was sad to see her go.
    On the upside, we had pizza from a place call Pisano's in Brookfield.  Really tasty stuff.
    And tonight I had some pizza from in town  and a little Swiss rose with friend Sherri...the first time we have gotten together in months.  All of that was good also.
     It's funny how time flies .... and yet seems to stand still at the same time.
     The rose is making me tired......that plus the lack of sleep last night.  I guess coffee in the afternoon and iced tea at supper is not a good idea when caffeine is known to keep one awake!
    Sweet dreams....and happy Labor Day weekend.
    And hey, let's be careful out there.

the wasp story...part two

When I was young, I took things literally

    If I was told, be sure the doors are closed tight, I did that.

    Aunty Kay and Uncle Jim had two cottages on Dewey Lake near Dowagiac Michigan.  From as early as I can remember, my family went there for two or three weeks every summer.

    I loved it.  Still do.  Nice sandy beach, quiet lake, great cottage neighbors.  I have not been there in years.

    My family stayed in one cottage while Kay and Jim occupied the other.  The cottage we stayed in was basically a square with a wrap around porch that covered the front and half the side facing Jim and Kay's cottage.

    I must have been about 8.  Maybe 9.

    I think my brother Denny was involved, but time has dulled the memory a little bit.  It could have been Carl, but I am pretty sure it was Denny.

   The conversation went something like this.

  Brother:  "You see that hornet's nest hanging from the roof at Uncle Jim's?"

  Me:  "It's huge.  Uncle Jim said stay away from it, he was going to knock it down this weekend and burn it."

  Brother.  "That's a long way off.  We could get stung.  I"m going to knock it down."

  Me.  "You'll get stung.  Don't do it."

  Brother.  "I'll be fine.  I'll use a broom, knock it down, then run inside.  Just make sure all the doors are shut tight."

    Now I did not think this was a great plan, but it was a plan.

    So I obeyed.  Then I sat on the screened porch and watched.

    He carefully approached the nest.  He may have had an oar in his hand, but it could have been a broom.  Both brothers were teens at this time, so naturally their thinking was a bit cloudy.

    With a giant swing, he hit the nest like a pinata then took off running for the back door.  

    Which I had dutifully shut tight.

    And locked.

   "What the hell?"  I heard as I watched him tugging futilely on the door.  "Who locked the damn door?"  The hornets were swarming in the air around the pinata, which had rolled in the middle of the cottages.

    Since I was the only person there, it was a question that didn't need answering, but I did anyway.

"I did," I yelled and raced toward the back door.

    When I got there, no one was there.

    But there was a yelling from the front door.

    "Who locked the damn door?  Let me in!"

    So I raced back to the front door and let him in.

    He was pretty red and pretty sweaty.  He may have had a welt or two....I don't remember.

    But I do remember one brother being really mad at me for a couple of days.

    It was about that time I learned the expression mad as a hornet can also apply to people.

Grass can be dangerous

I am flummoxed by the wasp

     I am talking about Freddie, the cicada killer that has taken up residence along side my driveway.
     Wikipedia said it is a solitary wasp, living alone.  (Yes, I realize that is redundant, but I want to be sure I understand how it lives.)  One article called it beneficial;  generally passive unless provoked or threatened.
   So, is mowing going to provoke it?  When I go over the entry hole, will it get really pissed and come after me?
    I have three possible actions I can take:
1.  Ignore it.  Winter will be here soon and it will die naturally.
2.  Hire someone to mow the lawn.
3.  Attempt to kill it.

     I know, I should deal with it.  But I hate to kill an insect that is beneficial, even though it is as big as a small Cessna and seems to buzz me quite frequently.
     Adding to my bug problem, yellow jackets have taken up residence in a post on the porch.  There is a quarter inch gap, and they have nested in there.
     I did spray that spot twice tonight.  Hopefully, that nest will be gone.
     Two years ago I thought it would be a good idea to put some trim pieces over the openings.....that is now going on my project list for this fall.
     But a bigger problem is the softball size nest up in the eave on my east side.  The nest is waaaay up there, and I don't think my 20 ft. spray will reach it, even standing on a ladder on uneven ground in the dark with a flashlight in one hand and wasp spray in the other, leaving me nothing to hang on with.
     As you can tell, I am paranoid about wasps.  I don't like them.  Yellow jackets, hornets, mud daubers....all of them give me the chills.
     Notice I said wasps.  Bees are not wasps.  Bees are hairy and produce the fruit and vegetables we enjoy.  Bees also produce honey.  I like honey.  So, I like bees and try not to hurt them.
     I have nightmares about being attacked by swarms of wasps and getting hundreds of stings.
     Which is why I won't go to Texas or any state with killer bees and presidential candidates as governor.
     Take that, Wisconsin.
     Once a student brought in a paper wasp nest to class.  I had fears I would walk into the room one morning and be attacked by 1 billion wasps living inside and just waiting until they had me alone.
     I have a funny story about wasp nests and a brother...but I will save that for another day.
    Now I am off to dreamland, hopefully a place without stingers of any kind.

holy cow

I really want to thank you

     Today my blog passed the 29,000 views mark!
     Holy cow!!  That means a lot of you don't have lives and you do have far too much time on your hands!
     Seriously, thank you for reading and putting up with me.
     You may remember, I started this Jan. 1, 2014 as a resolution to complete tasks and stick to a project.  It was supposed to be a one year thing, but I can't seem to stop.
     When I don't post, I feel guilty.....not guilty enough to get out of bed, but guilty enough to think about it.
     If you like the blog, tell your friends.  Feel free to share.  The more the merrier.
     Anyway, driveway is finished.  I watered three times today.  I plan to keep it moist.
     Thrilling Cubs win tonight, long day of shopping, up early to finish the raking and seeding...  so now I am ready for bed.
     Peace out, dudes and dudettes!