oh my! pass that pie!!!

I'm going the wrong way

     Ok, with about six weeks to go to the wedding, let's see how far I am on my plan to get to 190 pounds.
     Started at 196 on March 1.
     Walk the dog 1.5 miles at least three times a week.
     Ate handfuls of potato chips.
      Polished off some Swiss chocolates.
     Ate a salad.
     Dined at an all you can eat restaurant in Cuba.
     Ate at another all you can eat restaurant in Cuba.
     Ate at.....let's say several all you can eat places in Cuba.
     Been to Ollie's a couple of times.  Ok, three times.  All right....four times.
     Had soup, cheese and crackers for lunch for two weeks.
     Had a banana.
     Rizzo's for breakfast.  (If you don't know what they are, you are not a Cub fan.)
    Rode my bike.  Once.  Six miles.  Hey, it's rainy and cold!
     Went up and down the stairs once.
     So....doing a little math here.  Add this, subtract that, and get on the scale......

206 pounds!!!

     Holy crap.
     I can do this.........no more late night snacks.  Walking more.  Biking when the weather hits a nice temperature and the rain stays mainly on the plain in Spain.
     Good grief.

much mulch

I am getting serious about yard work

     I wanted to get serious this week, but it has not been weather in which I like to work outside.
     Cold.  Rainy.  Misty.  Thunder.  Lightning.  You know, typical Illinois in April.
     So today I ordered mulch.  I need to mulch around my plants.  And trees.
     And I need to plant some plants.  Maybe next week I will be able to do that.
     I also have a tree that needs to be removed.  One of my sugar maples sadly is not coming back from the mold it developed last year.
     Now I am in a quandary.  I want to replace the tree.  But the plant clinic people told me once a tree gets this wilt, it will die.  My other sugar maple also had it, but I cut off the dead branches and it seems fine.
     So, If I put a tree in where the sick, now nearly dead, tree is, I have to move it at least 5 feet from the drip line to prevent the new tree from getting the wilt......that is, if it is a sugar maple.  But if my other tree gets sick and I have to replace it, it may be too crowded.  If I don't replace it, I am off balance.
     It's a tree lovers dilemma, I tell you!
     My first job is to get the tree removed.  Then I guess I will wait a couple of months before replanting.
     I never had a tree die before.  It's sad.
     As you may remember, I name my trees.  That's all well and good when they are doing well and growing straight and tall, but now?  I can say Name of Tree died, because it sounds like one of my family members died and that isn't good.
     Here's to good weather, good plants, good trees  and a good night's sleep.

it's a riot

I/m tired of Illinois

     Seriously tired.
     Monday it was 83...today it was 50.
     I've gone from winter pajamas to summer pajamas back to winter ones.  Yes, I do have PJs for the seasons.
     I've worn three different coats this week and am running out of hooks.
     The roads are a mess...potholes and cracks everywhere.
     And the budget?  So out of whack it can never be made right.  We either have to cut spending or      raise taxes or a little of both.  But these yahoos in Springpatch can't seem to figure that out.
The third most powerful man and Illinois most famous representative and wrestling coach turned out to be a serial sex abuser of young boys.  That is holding up party values!
     Our state lawmakers have figured out a way to make sure none of the issues people like me want will get on the ballot.  Term limits?  Nah.  Redistricting?  Forget about it.  Graduated income tax?  Not in our lifetimes.
     Our property taxes are among the highest, on average, in the country.
     The state is losing population, which means sales tax revenue, and the mopes in charge don't make any attempt to change.
    Pardon me for being cynical.
     But I am tired.  I think I need to move.  Maybe North Carolina.  Or Vermont.  Or Maine.
     Someplace with mild summers and better government.
     Where spring begins at Easter and summer ends on Labor Day.
     Where it only rains in the morning between 2 and 3.
     Camelot.  That is where I need to go.
     Anybody know how to get there?

help, please

I called a customer service support line last night

     My PC has been acting funny.  Before actually taking it in, I decided to give the live chat help a try.
     It was about 11 and alcohol was not involved.
     So, I get connected to a gent named Rob, using our desk top computer.
     He asks me to describe the problem, which I do.
     He asks me to turn off the computer and turn it back on again.
     I do.
     The screen pops up that asks my ID.
     Now, Emily and John will know what kind of problem a question like that causes me.  I find my list and type it in.....but no, not it.  I try again, with a capital.  Nope.  I try again with a capital at the front and a capital at the back.  Nope.  I try again with a capital at the back only.  Nope.  I try a totally different password for a totally different computer.  Yup.  Go figure.  And these are written down!  I can't figure it out when they are in writing in front of me!!
     That has taken me about 15 minutes.  Seriously.
     He asks me a series of questions, which I dutifully answer.
     I open Safari and the computer starts acting funny...screen goes crazy.
     I follow the directions to turn off the computer and open it in safe mode.  And by the way, it does take longer, much longer, for a  computer to open in safe mode.
     I do that.  Everything looks ok.  Then Bingo, screen goes crazy.
     I restarted three times in safe mode, then once in recovery mode, and nothing changed.
      Meanwhile, I download a malware program on my desktop computer and move it to a thumb drive.  (I make it sound simple....but it took me a long time to do this.)
     The thinking was Safari may have contained a virus.
     Popped in the thumb drive and restarted in safe mode.  That's when we find out you can't download a program if your computer is in safe mode...so I turn it off and restart it again.
It is now about 12:15  I mention I am tired, and if this process takes long, I might be better to quit for the night.
     I am assured it is only a few minutes.
    At 12:30 I manage to finally get the malware onto the computer.....and I do not have any malware on my little pc.  But, then I lost all control of mouse movement and the screen was an artwork in progress.  Someone taking LSD and watching it would blow their mind.
     At about 12:40 we decided I needed to make an appointment at the store.  And we did.
     At about 12:50....or somewhere in that time zone.....I signed off.
     Ever been so tired you can't sleep?  When you hit the sheets and suddenly they hit back?  When every noise is a masked murderer, wild animal, fanged monster or Trump supporter?
     So I sat up in my chair and read until about 2.......only to awake somewhere around 6.
     So here I am....tired, happy for a Cubs win, freezing and not at all expecting I will go to sleep.
     I think I'll just finish that book tonight....only 110 pages to go.

damn

I forgot  I had calls to make today

     I had four or five people I wanted to call.....and remembered about 9 p.m.
     I should have put it on a note and hung it on the door.
     I did a lot today and it all just escaped me.
     Not to mention I have a computer that has gone bonkers.
     My little PC just goes crazy..... can't use the touch pad, pages jump without any obvious reason, won't turn off, kind of a wacky version of me.
     So I am taking it to the Apple people on Friday.
     I know what will happen.  I will get an estimate of $500 to fix a six year old computer.  And we will face the choice of repair or buying a new one.
     Then our I Mac will go out and we will regret buying the PC that we did, because now it is the only computer we will be using and we should have gone bigger.
     How long should a computer last anyway?  Is it like a car, where you drive it until you pay it off or it falls apart, whichever comes first?
     In any case, it is not going to be pretty.
     And my war on wasps?
     No go.....the wind was too strong.  I was afraid I would get more spray than the nest outside the door.
     But I will try tonight.
    Call it Wasp War II
     I just hope no one gets stung....meaning me.

don't tell my wife about this

I have a new life plan, thanks to the Tribune

     Today's real estate section had an article on what $3 million will buy for housing in the Chicago area.
     Yes, I know.  $3 million is a lot.  But I can do huge stuff with a lot less.
     One of the houses, in River Forest, had an outdoor railroad.
     Not a garden rail road, but a kiddy land type set up, complete with a crossing gate for the driveway.
     That would be freakin' awesome!
    The house was on .83 acres of land.....we have an acre.  More space!  Plus the lot next door is still for sale.
     So wouldn't it be great to buy an old kiddy land train set up?
     Seriously!  I would have it run through my yard, into the now owned by me lot next door, through the prairie and into the forest, across the bridge and back to the station at the end of my patio.
     I know....i would have to plant the forest.  And the prairie.  And lay the track.  And buy train. And build the bridge over the newly created river.
     But hey, I am not getting any younger!
     I'd do wine trains, with a table and wine set up out by the prairie.  We'd ride out there, eat cheese, sip wine, watch the sun set over the prairie.
     I'd have cookouts in the forest part.  Of course, I would be careful not to burn the trees down when I fired up the camp fire to cook.
     My train would have a refrigerated caboose to hold cheese, meat, wine, and soft drinks.
     It will be awesome.
     And I know how to pay for it.
     The property taxes on the house were $49,000 or so a year.  So, if I don't have that house, I am saving $49,000, which should pay for the lot, train and forest!
     Right?
     If only it were that simple.
     I do know something that is simple.  Go to the Bike MS website, search for the Jackies Jokers team and make a pledge to me.  Any amount will do.
     I think now I will go outside and declare war on two wasp nests.
     Let's call it a sneak attack.  Hopefully they won't know what hit them.

earlier than later

I planted peas today!

     I don't know if I have ever planted anything this early.  But these are early sugar snap peas....ready in 70 days, which should be about the time we are in Vegas.
     Planning was never my strength.
     I felt like farmer Bob out there today.  Big hat, suspenders, a ton of garden tools on the wheelbarrow.
     I noticed my 12 foot long raised bed is bowing in the middle.  I think I will have to take it apart in the fall and add some support to the center.  Or, make it into two six foot beds.
     I hope it doesn't collapse.
     That would be my luck.  Put in a garden and have it fall down.
     I have enough sugar snap peas left to plant a second crop in mid August.  That should be ready by the time October comes to an end.
     I think I will like the garden this year.  Tomatoes, carrots, beans......basic stuff.
     I even have the herb garden set up and ready to move outside.  I am a little afraid of a frost, but I think tomorrow it will go onto the patio.
     With all this delicious, nutritious, organic food, I should be able to put a little health into my diet.
     Now if I could figure out a way to grow potato chips.......