ouch...my turn

 I hit a deer today

    I went to Julia's and decided to drive back roads back home.

    One of the roads was gravel.  I had never been on it, but I knew where it connected to another road that was paved that  I could take.

    I was going about 40 mph when a huge buck walked right in front of the car!

    I hit the brakes, but the van started to skid on the gravel. 

    The deer tried to run, but I hit him in the back end.

    He was a beautiful animal, with a rack that must have been 6 feet across!  Heaven knows how many deer seasons it had survived, only to have me hit it.

    After I hit him, he did a 180 flip and landed face first on my van's windshield.  His antlers  pierced the windshield and cut my forehead!

    There I was, sitting in the middle of nowhere with a 12 point buck's head staring at me through a broken windshield.

    I felt something dripping, and realized I was bleeding and I passed out!  My face was buried in the airbag for I don't know how long.  

    Whether it was the salt in the blood or the deer's compassion, it started licking my face!  That brought me around.

    I stumbled out of the van only to. realize my coat was covered in glass, so I took that off.  But the blood was still dripping down and I looked in the driver's side mirror to see how bad the cut was.

    And I fainted for the second time.

    This time when I woke up, I saw the buck had somehow freed himself from my van, but he was woozily stumbling down the road with large chunks of windshield dangling from his antlers, sparkling  in the sun like earrings.!

    I took my shirt off and wrapped it around my head to stop the bleeding.  Yes, I was cold because it was ony42 degrees and I was shirtless!

    I saw a farm house up ahead and staggered up to it.  I pounded on the door and a naked woman opened the door and screamed, falling backward in a faint.  I stepped over her and looked in the hallway mirror.  Noticing the blood-soaked shirt, I also passed out.

    I awoke when the cold water hit my face.  The woman shrieked at me.  "Who the Hell are you?  What are you doing here?"

    I explained I wasn't going to hurt her, that I had hit a deer and needed medical help.

    "So yo took off your clothes and came here?  Are you insane?"

    I assured her I was woozy, dizzy but not crazy.

    We heard a pick up coming up the lane.  She recognized the sound and looked at me in horror.

    "That's my husband!  He's insanely suspicious of me and goes into a jealous  rage whenever I even talk to another man.  You have to get out the back door and get to the tree line and walk back to your car."

    I told her that was impossible.  Once I got to my van I could not go anywhere.

    "I'll call the sheriff anonymously.  You got to go!  Now!" she yelled, as we heard the truck stop and the engine go off.

    I raced clumsily out the back door and hotfooted it to the tree line.  I then inched my way back to where I thought the road was, constantly checking to see if anyone was following me.

    I made it back to the van and sure enough, a sheriff's deputy arrived just as I was emerging from the woods.

    He had a first aid kit and cleaned the wound, told me it was superficial, and called for a tow truck.  He also let me call a friend for a ride home.

    When I got home I had a stiff drink.  I figured I deserved it. 

    I was just glad this day was over.                                                                               

Peace and Love

    Especially Peace