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I  figured out which Olympic events I could compete in

    I ended a sentence with a preposition, right?  Better than a proposition.

    I ordered a coffee at Cypress House today.

    I went with the First Date drink option.  Dark chocolate caramel mocha, so you know.

    I said, "I'd like a First Date, please."

    The answer was:  "Do you have an age preference?"

    I replied, "No, and I am not in the Files."

    I thought it was funny.

    Good drink, I recommend it.

    On to the Olympics.

    They have a Half Pipe competition.  I would be able to do the Half Pie, provided it was cherry or apple.   I could  do a 180 with my fork and a double 360 overboard header with my spoon and ice cream

    The Salmon.  I would do it over charcoal with a dash of rosemary.

    Giant Salmon.  Ditto the above, only twice the size.Maybe with some fries and bread.

    Boob sledding.  No explantation needed.

    Ice prancing.  When the garbage has to go out and I have to retrieve the empty can while navigating an ice driveway.

    The Skelton.  This involves washing endless hours of Red Skelton sketches on tv.

    Curding.  Seeing how fast I can wolf down an order of cheese curds from Culver's.  There would be 3 rounds, with Tums rest periods in between runs.

    Downhill.  Comparing my body now to what it was 10, 15 and 20 years ago.

    Hokey.  Coming up with as many false Olympic Games you can in a 10 minute period.  Winner gets to advice to the half pie competition.

    So you see, I could specialize in several of my Olympic categories.

    I might even get a trophy o two.  Or three.  Or 10.

    After all they are my games.  If people don't like it, they don't have to compete.

    Thank you for your attention.

Peace and Love